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Post by ISM Office on May 5, 2016 22:57:10 GMT
A video package ends highlighting the Vainillo/Red feud as we go to Mandarin and Bastian Krull at ringside.
MANDARIN: GAH-REETINGS! I am the esteemed elitist alien known as Mandarin...
BASTIAN KRULL: And I am the handsomely cruel Bastian Krull. Welcome to Pollomania! Our Cinco de Mayo event!
MANDARIN: We are here in Milwaukee, Wisconsin, United States, Planet Earth and we have TWO title matches for you - one of which that will be getting underway in moments.
BASTIAN KRULL: And of course, the MEXICAN DEATH MATCH! A lucha de apuesta! Both El Vainillo and Tiger Mask Red have put their masks on the line and as we learned only a few days ago - Tiger Mask Red is even gambling his Pollomania career.
MANDARIN: Indeed! If Tiger Mask Red is unmasked tonight then he will be gone from Pollomania forever! A great incentive for El Vainillo to win, I do believe!
BASTIAN KRULL: It'd be one less thorn in his side for sure. Let's go to the good doctor...
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Post by ISM Office on May 5, 2016 22:59:36 GMT
DR. SCREAM: THIS OPENING CONTEST FOR CINCO DE MAYO IS TO BE FOUGHT TO ONE FALL WITH A FIFTEEN MINUTE TIME LIMIT AND IS FOR THE POLLO ESTREL MEDAL!
Pop!
DR. SCREAM: INTRODUCING THE CHALLENGER! SHE WEIGHS IN AT ONE HUNDRED AND SEVENTEEN POUNDS! HOLLY GUACAMOLE!
“Milkshake” by Kelis begins playing. The Giant Egg opens and Holly skips down the ring carrying a hockey stick over her shoulder, Charlotte O’Neal walking slowly behind her & Brutus Smith walking stoically beside her. At ring side she gets Brutus to lift her up onto the apron & as she enters the ring between the top & middle ropes, she wiggles her bum at the camera. Once in the ring she skips around waving her hockey stick over her head before finally handing it to Brutus.
DR. SCREAM: HER OPPONENT! WEIGHING IN AT ONE HUNDRED AND TWENTY FIVE POUNDS! THE CURRENT, REIGNING AND DEFENDING POLLO ESTREL MEDAL HOLDER! URSULA AREANO!
Evanescence's “Weight of the World” blares over the sound system and Ursula Areano comes out of the egg wearing the Pollo Estrel Medal. She reaches the ramp, raises her arms basking in the shower pyro that rains down on her. She walks down the length of the ramp, swinging both her hips and her arms. She enters the ring and walks over to the ropes, standing on the bottom rope and bending over to smile at the fans in the first few rows. She then gets off the ropes and hands the medal to the referee before walking to one side of the ring and blowing a kiss to the crowd.
MANDARIN: A long time coming is this rematch!
BASTIAN KRULL: This dates all the way back to two months ago when Holly Guacamole became upset at Ursula Areano saying she was the only female in Pollomania.
MANDARIN: Reasonable, I think.
The bell sounds and the two ladies meet in the middle of the ring. Holly extends her hand and yells “Let the best bitch win!” Ursula smiles before smacking Holly hard across the face and tackles her stunned opponent to the pat. She rains down with a series of punches before Holly is able to shove her off. She quickly rolls out of the ring and goes to confer with Brute. Ursula charges across the ring, looking to for a suicide dive but stops at the last minute as Brute steps in front of Holly, blocking the attempted attack.
BASTIAN KRULL: The match they had previously ended in a double knockout. Holly was downed by Ursula's finsher and Charlotte O'Neal blasted her with a foreign object. Guacamole would duck future rematch attempts until Areano won the Pollo Estrel medal by last eliminating... you guessed it, Holly Guacamole.
Ursula steps away from the ropes and yells at Holly to enter the ring. After receiving last minute instructions, Holly climbs back into the ring. The two are about to hook up in the center of the ring when Brute steps up on the apron. Referee Small Tooth Jones immediately orders him down and Holly attempts an elbow smash, while her opponent’s head is turned. Ursula blocks the blow, she twists Holly around and hits a jumping neck breaker and goes for a pin but Holly kicks out before Jones can even make a one count.
MANDARIN: Pride! Guacamole doesn't even want to give Areano the satisfactions of getting more than a two count on her! She kicked out BEFORE one!
BASTIAN KRULL: A lot of wrestlers utilize that count to regain even the smallest bit of composure.
The Estrel Medal Champion picks he opponent up and whips her into the corner. She takes a moment to jaw with Brute before doing a handspring into the corner and hitting Holly with a back elbow. She snap mares her opponent out of the corner into a sitting position and delivers a stiff kick to her back. The champion picks Holly up by the hair and whips her into the opposite corner. Once again she yells at Brute before going for another handspring back elbow. This time though, Holly gets her knees up, catching Ursula to the back of the head. Holly quickly grabs her by the hair and pulls her back, slamming the back of her head onto the middle turnbuckle. She leans over her fallen opponent and screams in her face before proceeding to stomp a mud hole into her and “walking it dry”, as one of the all-time greats used to say. Holly pulls her out of the corner and goes for the pin.
1..
Kick out!
BASTIAN KRULL: Holly is possessed!
Holly mounts Ursula’s chest. She grabs her by the hair and delivers a series of elbow strikes. Smalltooth Jones gives her a verbal warning and Holly releases her, only to grab her by the hair again and delivering another series of elbow blows. Once again Jones warns her but this time pulls out the yellow card. Holly quickly releases Ursula and stands up but stomps her hard to the stomach. She pulls her up to her feet, kicks her to the stomach and hits a swinging neck breaker. She goes for the pin.
1…
2..
Kick out!
Holly looks stunned and turns to Brute for direction. He points to the top rope. She immediately understands his meaning. She climbs to the top rope and waits for Ursula to get up. Ursula slowly gets to her feet and Holly goes for a flying cross body but the Estrel Medal holder ducks and Holly crashes to the mat. Ursula charges as she gets up and hits a float over in a DDT. She points to the top rope and indicates it’s her turn to fly. She climbs to the top rope and as Holly gets up delivers a diving double knee strike and goes for the pin.
1…
2…
3.
Kick out!
BASTIAN KRULL: She's unleashing a vicious streak seldom seen!
Ursula looks stunned but signals for the end. She picks Holly up and whips her back into the corner and follows in with the Argentina Express. Holly crumbles to the mat and Ursula goes back to the top. She signals that this is the end and leaps off with Death From Above. Holly rolls out of the ring just ion the kick of time and Ursula lands spine first to the mat. Holly quickly climbs to the top rope and leaps off, delivering the Whoopie Cushion.
1…
2…
3..
Ursula’s hand reaches out and grabs the bottom rope, breaking the count. Enraged, Holly stomps on her stomach again, before pulling her into the center of the ring and going for the pin again.
1…
2…
3..
Kick out!
MANDARIN: Oh my Darammu! Both of those were close!
Holly lets out a primal scream. She backs herself up against the ropes and waits for Ursula to rise. She charges at her and goes for the Holy Guacamole but Ursula ducks. Out of sheer desperation she grabs Holly from behind, picks her up and hits the Tempest Turn before crumbling to the mat beside her opponent. With both competitors down, Referee Smalltooth Jones starts delivering the count.
1…
2…
3…
4…
5…
Ursula rolls over and lays an arm across Holly’s chest.
1…
2…
3..
Kick out!
BASTIAN KRULL: This whole venue thought she had it!
Ursula sits up and shake her head in disbelief. She slowly gets to her feet. Holly tries to get up but clearly is still in a bad way after taking her opponent’s finisher. Ursula looks conflicted for a moment. Holly has shocked a lot of people with how well she’s done. The moment is shattered however as Holly, who can hardly get to her knees, flips Ursula off and calls her a name. A pissed off Ursula charges in and delivers a thunderous knockout punch, to the delight of the crowd. She drags Holly’s limp body towards the corner. She climbs to the top rope and hits Death From Above. The rest is academic.
1…
2…
3…
MANDARIN: She does this time!
Jones calls for the bell. He hands Ursula the medal and raises her hand as Brute climbs in the ring and goes to check on Holly. Brute motions Scream over and the doctor checks Holly over, as Ursula leaves the ring. Scream calls for a stretcher and EMTs rush past the champion and make their way into the ring. Moments later Holly is placed on a backboard with a neck brace and placed on the stretcher outside the ring. The crowd murmurs as she's rolled to the back. She manages a meager wave as a small "HOLLY!" chant grows.
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Post by ISM Office on May 5, 2016 23:05:16 GMT
Professor Turmoil made short work of Jimmy Jive on Pollo Estrel, and Sailor Cherry did likewise to the man known as MANDINGO so either one of these two competitors was going to steam roll the other or we were going to have ourselves a competitive match. Well... Professor Turmoil had a bag full of tricks - a very large bag of tricks, and tried everything he could to gain an upper hand against Sailor Cherry. Give Cherry credit though, she made sure to be in view of referee Smalltooth Jones at every chance so that Turmoil's actions couldn't go unpunished. By the three minute mark, Turmoil had racked up two yellow cards and looked well on his way to being disqualified.
However... he buckled down and focused his attack, but missed a key clothesline and allowed Sailor Cherry to turn the tides of the match with a Sailor C Bicycle Kick! Turmoil stumbled and bounced off the ropes to attempt a desperation Penelope's Kiss but the rudo did not expect Sailor Cherry to be so flexible. She did the splits to avoid his attack, leading her to a springboard clothesline! Turmoil went down, but not down enough so Cherry lined up a bulldog and once planted, ran to the top rope where she dropped the Macho Man ELBOW OF JUSTICE to seal the deal and give her a second W in Pollomania.
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Post by ISM Office on May 5, 2016 23:09:01 GMT
DR. SCREAM: THIS CONTEST IS TO BE FOUGHT TO ONE FALL WITH A FIFTEEN MINUTE TIME LIMIT! INTRODUCING FIRST AT A COMBINED WEIGHT OF FOUR HUNDRED AND FIFTY SEVEN HUMAN POUNDS! ALGIE! ZARGNAX! STARSHIP MADNESS!
“The Day The Earth Stood Still Soundtrack” begins playing, green and white lights begin flashing and soon afterwards, the giant egg opens up, allowing for smoke to pour out. Zargnax arrogantly descends onto the stage via the rockets on his feet, soon followed by Algie who hesitantly steps through the smoke. Zargnax yells at her to follow him, as he strides down the ramp and into the ring, which she does. Once in the ring, Algie climbs one of the turnbuckles to pose, but Zargnax pulls her down and explains to her how everyone in the audience are human and stupid and shouldn’t be pandered to.
DR. SCREAM: THEIR PARTNER... HE WEIGHS IN AT TWO HUNDRED AND SEVENTY POUNDS! THE FORMER EL PROSCRITO! MARCO CASAS!
The Driver-By Truckers' "Where The Devil Don't Stay" sounds and the venue goes absolutely dark. The giant egg on the entrance cracks open at around the 40 second mark as the song gets heavier and El Proscrito walks out on the ramp, as a spotlight shines on him and follows him to the ring as the only light in the arena at the moment. Once El Proscrito is in the ring, the lights in the arena go back up as the crowd cheers. El Proscrito stands in the center of the ring, pointing his right hand like a gun to the sky.
DR. SCREAM: THEIR OPPONENTS! FIRST WEIGHING IN AT TWO HUNDRED AND FORTY POUNDS! TRUE NORTH ANT!
There will be no familiar BTO songs this time as True North Ant storms out to no music at all. He walks down the ramp and grabs a sign that says "SNAKE FOREVER!" and tears it to shreds. He grabs another fan's Philly Cheese Snake mask and throws it to the ground, wiping his boot all over it before entering the ring.
DR. SCREAM: HIS PARTNER! WEIGHING IN AT TWO HUNDRED AND FIFTY FIVE POUNDS! KEITH SKYFIRE!
"Mississippi Queen" begins to blast out over the arena speakers, smoke begins to fill around the entrance area when a spot lights hits on the entrance area Keith Skyfire walks out from the egg walking to the ring ignoring everything around him focusing on one thing and one thing only his match that awaits him. Keith gets inside the ring and opens his ring jacket throwing both arms out. Keith quickly jerks the ring jacket back together, slowly turning moving back across the ring to his corner and bumps fists with True North Ant.
DR. SCREAM: THEIR PARTNER! HE WEIGHS IN AT TWO HUNDRED AND SIXTY SEVEN POUNDS! HAMMERSTEIN!
As the opening strains of “Violent and Funky” by Infectious Grooves plays, the graphic ‘Straight Outta Whynot’ appears on the POLLOVISION. Smoke/fog begins to bellow from the egg. Jacob Hammerstein bounds through the smoke, ala the Shockmaster. The crowd roars in laughter as 'The Hammer' gets to his feet, coughing and waving the smoke away. The Hammer gets his swagger back and heads down the ramp, wearing black wrestling boots, black below-the-knee cargo shorts, and his trademark 'Straight Outta Whynot' sleeveless t-shirt. Hammerstein fist bumps with some of the fans on his way to the ring. He tries to run and slide under the bottom rope but can't get the height, so he crashes into the ring apron and flops to the floor. Jacob quickly gets to his feet, no selling the embarrassing flop. He picks up his shades, wipes them off, and puts them back on before walking up the ring steps and entering the ring. Hammerstein tries to jump up onto the second turnbuckle, but can't make it, so he plays one foot on the bottom turnbuckle and the other on the second before throwing up both arms in a show of confidence of victory.
BASTIAN KRULL: I don't remember the last time we had ourselves a good ol' fashioned trios match, Mandarin.
MANDARIN: Well before you got here. Half the participants could not even make it to the match!
Zargnax forces Algie to start off the match against True North Ant, who does an immediate go behind and applies a rear waistlock on her. Algie easily and expertly twists around and applies a hammerlock on Ant as she does her own go behind. With the hammerlock applied, she slinks an arm over and applies a dragon sleeper variation that takes him down to the mat. She releases he hammerlock and focuses solely on the dragon sleeper, but Ant tries to kip up - she yanks him back down. He tries to kip up again, but brings him back down again. He finally gets up and free, but she locks on an arm wringer just as quickly as he escaped. Ant rolls forward, backwards and maybe even sideways but each way he goes, Algie has got that hold still applied. Ant gets up and decides to just try and reverse the hold... and it works! He applies an arm wringer, steps over it with his leg... and then arm drags her! Ant scurries to his feet and gets arm dragged himself! They both roll through and get up, but this time Ant grabs Algie's head...? eye...? and slams her to the ground as he tags in Skyfire. Algie rolls out and the auto tag brings in Zargnax.
BASTIAN KRULL: A random six man tag match to some and it is - two newcomers with a part-time competitor against the Twin Egg Champions and Marco Casas. However, Casas and Ant got a bit of a beef stemming from the Rotisserie Rumble.
MANDARIN: I do not believe that was any of Marco Casas' business. Do you!?
Zargnax and Keith Skyfire lock up, but the clear height difference of nine inches shines through. Skyfire levels Zargnax with some point blank forearm shots and backs him into the ropes. He shoots one half of the tag champions off into the opposite side but Zargnax ducks the clothesline attempt and bounces off the ropes. Skyfire though, doesn't give him any space to operate and sends him flying across the ring with an exploder suplex! Skyfire raises his arms and yells at the fans before picking Zargnax up. Once again, he whips him off the ropes and maybe gets a little too full of himself because he lets Zargnax run by him. Skyfire calls for a move, but Zargnax clips him with his signature running dropkick - Delta Wave Nucleostabilization. Skyfire rolls out of the ring, Ant slaps Hammerstein on the back and tells him it's his time to shine!
BASTIAN KRULL: I've heard lots about HAMMERSTEIN!
MANDARIN: About his karaoke? I didn't find much on his wrestling...
Marco Casas greets him on the other side and Hammerstein runs in and peppers the 6'5" / 270lbs with left and right hand punches. He wallops Casas with a tomahawk chop and Irish whips him into the ropes. Hammerstein tries to charge him, but Casas hoists him up... MILITARY PRESS and slams him right back down. Hammerstein lands hard on his stomach and crawls to a neutral corner to pull himself up. Casas charges in, but eats an elbow to the jaw. He staggers out and Hammerstein clocks him with a clothesline! Hammerstein dances a bit before he realizes something's amiss.
MANDARIN: I would not be thinking about dancing with him standing there! He did not go down!
Nope, Casas is standing right where he left him. Hammerstein turns and his eyes say everything you need to know. Casas lights him up with some punishing chops and backs him into the corner. One Yakuza kick later and Hammerstein is seated in the corner. Casas calls for his cannonball senton and goes for it, but runs right into True North Ant who picks him up and spinebusters him into the mat! Hammerstein rolls out of the ring to make Ant the legal man. North Ant covers Casas.
1...
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KICKOUT!
Not even two! Casas gets dragged to his feet where Ant nonchalantly tosses him out of the ring onto the ramp. This of course makes an automatic tag, but Ant clobbers Algie as she tries to get in and turns his attention back to Casas. He bounces off the ropes...
BASTIAN KRULL: SUICIDE DIVE!
Impressively, Casas catches him! Zargnax has got into the ring to protect Algie from Keith Skyfire, which has also brought in Hammerstein. All four participants are not prepared for what happens next...
MANDARIN: FLYING ANT!?
Yup! Casas delivers a fallaway slam from the ramp into the ring, sending True North Ant onto everyone! The crowd erupts with a gigantic pop as everyone but Casas is down. Darnell Cane has lost sight of who is legal and who isn't and you know what? I'm confused. Algie and Skyfire, I think. Anyway, Casas gets back on the apron, Zargnax rolls out. Hammerstein and Ant roll out leaving the two legal participants. Algie gets rear waistlocked by Skyfire and German su--no! Algie lands on her feet and dropkicks Skyfire! He falls into the ropes, but bounces out with bad news on his mind and lariats her inside out! He covers!
1...
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2...
ZARGNAX BREAKS IT UP!
Skyfire tries to grab Zargnax, but this allows Casas to reach out and tag in Algie. Skyfire turns around and stands face to face with someone a bit more his size, but still has a four inch height advantage. Skyfire strikes first, but Casas returns the favour and we're in a battle of BOO and YEAHs! BOO! YEAH! BOO! YEAH! BOO! YEAH! A knee lift unexpectedly ends the exchange as Skyfire doubles over Casas and clubs him in the back. He calls for the Skyfire Special but Casas slips out, hanging out to his wrist... GUNSHOT! The short range spear takes both men to the mat and Casas begins pounding away! Skyfire gets Casas to full guard and sweeps, raining down blows onto him! Skyfire drags him up to his feet and tries for the Skyfire Special again, but Casas backs him up. Hammerstein tags in, and Skyfire shouts at him for doing so. Skyfire hammers Casas in frustration and says "HERE YA GO!" to Hammerstein, who almost immediately gets clocked by a right hand. Hammerstein is spun around by the impact and receives a backdrop suplex! Casas holds!
BASTIAN KRULL: Skyfire is refusing to save him!
1...
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2...
True North Ant breaks it up instead, and yells at Skyfire. Skyfire gets back in the ring and in Ant's face, Zargnax and Algie both jump them! Skyfire tumbles out of the ring with the tag champions while True North Ant quickly disassociates himself from that. Algie is the one attacking Skyfire, who's trying to figure out how to fight back against an inter dimensional monster! Zargnax tries pulling her off, but Algie is at it big time! Zargnax calls for Jones to help, and he walks over and leans over the ropes to tell her to stop. Casas grabs Hammerstein up for his Tombstone finisher, but True North Ant rushes in and kicks Casas square in the balls. Hammerstein falls on top of him and Ant drops the mat, calling for Jones. Jones turns around!
BASTIAN KRULL: Oh come on!
1...
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2...
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3!
Ant rolls out of the ring cackling and gets to the floor holding his groin in imitation of Casas inside the ring. Hammerstein barely knows he won and Zargnax pulls a kicking and clawing Algie off of Skyfire, who dives back into the ring away from her and celebrates his victory.
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Post by ISM Office on May 5, 2016 23:18:27 GMT
DR. SCREAM: THIS NEXT CONTEST IS TO BE FOUGHT TO ONE FALL WITH A TWENTY MINUTE TIME LIMIT AND IS FOR THE GOLDEN EGG CHAMPIONSHIP!DR. SCREAM: INTRODUCING FIRST FROM TORONTO, ONTARIO! SHE WEIGHS IN AT ONE HUNDRED AND TWENTY NINE POUNDS! SHE IS THE RIGHTFUL HOLDER OF THE GOLDEN EGG CHAMPIONSHIP AND WINNER OF THE ROTISSERIE RUMBLE... LA CUCHARACHA!The opening chords of Chingon's “Cuka Rocka” announce the arrival of La Cucaracha, inspiring sounds of approval and slight indifference amongst the Pollomania faithful. The egg cracks open and a moment later, La Cucaracha scrambles out, one of her own t-shirts over her ring gear and an undisclosed item under one arm, prompting another chorus of approval and indifference. She reveals the mystery item to be an Official Pollomania La Cucaracha foam cockroach(with hissing feature), as she dashes to the tractor and climbs to the seat. Holding the foam cockroach to the sky she screams “ONLY $29.99!” before throwing the contractually mandated freebie to the rabid fans. Gracelessly jumping from the tractor back to the stage, she attempts a spin for the sake of showmanship, but lands awkwardly and only at the last second stops herself from falling off the stage completely. From there, the Canadian luchadora begins her walk to the ring, occasionally putting her hands together to make an unrecognizable roach outline. Some fans mimic the gesture, while others glare at the Wrestle-Pest in confusion and irritation. Once at the ring ropes, La Cucaracha removes her official Pollomania La Cucaracha t-shirt and casually pitches it over her shoulder to the crowd. She then steps through the ring ropes, sprinting to a far corner and climbing to the second turnbuckle, once again giving the Pollomania faithful her roach hand signal that no one can seem to duplicate. La Cucaracha points to someone in the crowd, seemingly for no reason, before jumping back to the mat and awaiting the opening bell. DR. SCREAM: INTRODUCING THE CHALLENGER FROM SANTA MONICA! HE WEIGHS IN AT AN EVEN TWO HUNDRED POUNDS! THE SELF-PROCLAIMED REAL GOLDEN EGG CHAMPION! D.C. WILAND!As we hear the slow intro of "Almost Famous", the entrance egg cracks open and a cloud of steam comes out of it. The sign "DEEZY TAUGHT ME" appears on both entrance screens as the chorus drops. "Young with too much cash, watch how I came up fast They say I'm next to get it, they bring your name up last And while I made it splash, rappers came and passed But still I ask myself: HOW LONG DOES FAMOUS LAST?"
The beats gets heavy with the final line of the chorus and D.C. Wiland storms through the steam onto the entrance ramp as the crowd boos in unison. Wiland smiles wide as he points to the Golden Egg Championship around his waist before walking to the ring. Once reaching the apron, he slingshots himself into the ring and immediately climbs to the closest turnbuckle. He takes his tanktop off and signals he will be throwing it to the crowd, but instead he just drops it on the ground before dropping down from the buckles. He unfastens his belt and holds it high in the air to aa chorus of boos, Cucharacha runs up and Bug Zappers him! The lungblower with knees aimed at the back of the head catches the challenger completely off guard. Referee Popcorn Pollo calls for the bell as the move is being executed, Cucharacha goes for a pin! 1... ... 2... Popcorn Pollo sees Cucharacha has her feet on the ropes and stops the count, Cucharacha tries to claim the fans all blew in unison and lifted her legs off the ground and that's simply where they landed when they inhaled. Popcorn Pollo shakes his head as Wiland slowly pulls himself up to his feet, Cucharacha goes over to grab him but gets a thumb to the eye that Pollo doesn't see with Cucharacha standing in his view. Cucha staggers away, but Wiland closes the gap with a side headlock! He wrenches it in a couple of times, before taking her down to the mat. She kicks up and wraps her legs around his neck forcing him to release the headlock. Wiland twists around and kicks off the ground into a headstand and beautifully kips out of the hold and lands back in picture perfect position to apply a side headlock again. The crowd pops for this impressive display of athlesticism, which he responds to by raking her eyes - causing them to boo him once more. BASTIAN KRULL: I don't think D.C. Wiland likes the sound of cheering.MANDARIN: Boos to a rudo are cheers, Bastian Krull!Cucharacha swings her hips and gets to her knees, fighting up to her feet. She gets to a standing base, and Wiland elbows her in the back of the head to double her over and bounces off the ropes. On the return, Cucharacha decks him with a sweet high-angle dropkick that sends him tumbling out to the apron. She follows up with a forearm that knocks him down to the arena floor and quickly ascends the turnbuckle... she holds and leaps off as Wiland gets standing back up... SLING BLADE! Both champion and challenger spill hard on the floor as Popcorn Pollo jumps out to check on both before going back into the ring to start the 20 count. Cucharacha gets up first and crawls into the ring at 9, while D.C. Wiland gets up at 12 and decides to take a few moments to recuperate before climbing up onto the ramp. Cucharacha tries to clock him before he can back inside the ring, but Wiland ducks and shoulders her in the gut! He slingshots himself into the ring, up and over the champion, grabs her in a rear waistlock and hoists her up, spins her and drops her with the Blue Thunder Driver! He holds it for a pin! 1... ... 2... NO! Wiland tries to apply the stomach claw from this position, but a kick to the head sends him staggering backwards. Cucharacha gets up and Wiland nearly decapitates her with a superkick! She goes down and her momentum carries her out of the ring. Wiland gloats to the fans as Cucharacha recuperates on the floor, but when she starts to get up... Wiland exits to the apron and climbs around the turnbuckle post so he's now on the same side as her. He waits for her to turn around and when she does... he begins running and leaps off! Cucharacha ducks it, but Wiland lands on his feet. He turns around and tries to catch her with a Superman punch, but Cucharacha ducks it again and Wiland punches the ring post. He yells out in pain, shakes his hand and takes off around the ring before Cucharacha can follow up. Dr. Scream rushes to his aid, while Popcorn Pollo tries to keep Cucharacha away. Scream asks Wiland to open and close his hand a few times, then wiggle each finger. Scream gives a thumbs up to Pollo and Wiland walks away shaking his hand out. He rolls into the ring and Cucharacha slides in on the other side. Wiland ducks her clothesline attempt, but turns around and gets a dropkick to his knee! Wiland falls flat on his stomach and Cucharacha stomps his hand! MANDARIN: What a cockroach!The Canadian Cockroach jumps on Wiland's back and applies a sleeper hold while he's fixated on his hand. She wrenches it in tightly and hangs on equally so as he teeters around, Wiland drops to a knee and Pollo checks him out as he heads bobs down. Wiland looks at Pollo and smirks, then jumps up and squashes Cucharacha between him and the turnbuckle. He turns around and is about to deliver the Superman punch when he remembers his hand... he ponders it, then clobbers her anyway! He writhes in pain a bit as she falls to the mat. Wiland looks down and sees she's in excellent position for... BASTIAN KRULL: Wiland going up top!Indeed, he climbs up the turnbuckles and leaps off... LA DINASTIA! The somersault leg drop connects and Wiland hooks the leg on the lateral press! 1... ... 2... ... 3! NO! LA CUCHARACHA'S FOOT WAS ON THE ROPES! Wiland argues about it with Pollo and shows he's not too proud to push a midget, a little person, a... whatever around and shoves him. Cucharacha sneaks up behind him... SCHOOL GENDER EQUALITY ROLL UP! 1... ... 2... ... 3! NO! Popcorn Pollo again sees Cucharacha's foot on the ropes again and awards her a yellow card, and gives one to Wiland for pushing him! BASTIAN KRULL: Popcorn Pollo really laying down the law!MANDARIN: How can you retroactively give someone a yellow card for pushing you!?BASTIAN KRULL: He had to make the count!MANDARIN: Poppycock!Cucharacha apologizes profusely for doing that again, but Popcorn Pollo is hearing none of it. Wiland grabs an unsuspecting Cucharacha and delivers the sidewinder suplex! He covers! 1... ... 2... KICKOUT! Cucharacha rakes Wiland's eyes to kick out of it, but Pollo doesn't catch this. Wiland blindly yells at Pollo as Cucharacha applies a wrist lock/knuckle lock combo to his bad hand and wrenches it in, Wiland cries out and Cucharacha kicks him in the stomach and straightjackets his arms. She goes for the Hiss of Death, but Wiland back drops her! He rolls to his feet, grabs Cucharacha and fisherman suplexes her! He rolls through... FISHERMAN SUPLEX AGAIN! He rolls through again and this time small packages her! 1... ... 2... ... CUCHRACHA ROLLS IT IN HER FAVOUR! 1... ... 2-SHE GRABS THE ROPE! ... 3! MANDARIN: She cheated!BASTIAN KRULL: I don't think Popcorn Pollo saw it! I don't even know if D.C. Wiland caught it!Pollo doesn't see it and counts three, D.C. Wiland protests the call as Cucharacha leaps to her feet. BASTIAN KRULL: I guess he did!
Pollo grabs the title and hands it to Cucharacha, but Wiland snatches it away and clobbers the champion with the belt! He drops down, covers her and counts to three himself. Popcorn Pollo tries to grab the title away from him, but Wiland pie faces him before leaving. Dr. Scream slides into the ring and checks on Cucharacha as Wiland stands on the ramp with the title held high despite losing the match. The venue plunges into darkness and Wiland twirls around as the POLLOVISION lights up. AIPOLLO: Hello! I am the artificially intelligent Pollo! Brought to life to serve you as an unbiased authority to oversee professional wrestling relations!
The situation involving the GOLDEN EGG CHAMPIONSHIP has been brought to my attention because... D.C. WILAND has repeatedly stolen the belt from its rightful champion LA CUCHARACHA. I did observe however that this match ended in a bit of controversy as LA CUCHRACHA had her hand on the ropes during the deciding pinfall so D.C. WILAND does have reason to be upset.
In turn, I will solve all this. I will not be restarting the match, but on MAY 19TH at WHOLE LOTTA ROACHES. You two will square off in Pollomania's first ever LADDER MATCH for the GOLDEN EGG CHAMPIONSHIP. Not only that, I will sweeten the pot. A contract will be suspended above the ring alongside the belt. It will be a shot at EL VAINILLO'S SUPREMO CHAMPIONSHIP!
GOODBYE!
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Post by ISM Office on May 5, 2016 23:23:03 GMT
"Welcome to the Jungle" by GNR hits and Tiger Mask Red saunters out with Charlotte O'Neal. None of his usual theatrics or greetings, he simply walks to the ring and gets in the cage. The Bouncing Souls' "OLE" hits and the fans come alive with cheers, but El Vainillo also comes out with much fanfare. Owl Man walks behind him, trying to encourage him and massaging his shoulders but his body language says it all about this match.
BASTIAN KRULL: Mandarin, I think it's safe to say for a masked wrestler that these types of matches are far and above more important than championships. There is no belt on line here tonight, but each man's mask is. Tiger Mask Red even recently revealed that his career in Pollomania is on the line, too. He'll call it quits if he can't beat El Vainillo here tonight.
MANDARIN: That is how much it means to him, Bastian Krull! The man wants to reveal the truth!
BASTIAN KRULL: That's right, Tiger Mask Red believes that El Vainillo and Jason Orion are one in the same. We may find out that tonight or we may see the face behind nearly a year's worth of dastardly deeds in Tiger Mask Red.
DR. SCREAM: LADIES AND GENTLEMEN...
The darkened arena spotlights the steel cage to a gigantic pop.
DR. SCREAM: IT IS NOW TIME FOR YOUR MAIN EVENT OF CINCO DE MAYO! SPONSORED BY POLLO BUCKET - GRAB YOUR CRISPY POLLO SANDWICH WITH FRIES AND DRINK FOR ONLY $5.99!
The special is shown on screen briefly.
DR. SCREAM: THIS IS A MASK VS. MASK MEXICAN DEATH MATCH FOUGHT WITHIN THE CONFINES OF A STEEL CAGE. TO WIN, YOU MUST PIN OR SUBMIT YOUR OPPONENT TO BECOME ELIGIBLE TO CLIMB OUT OF THE CAGE. IF YOU ARE INTERRUPTED CLIMBING OUT, YOU WILL HAVE TO SCORE ANOTHER FALL BEFORE YOU CAN TRY AND EXIT AGAIN! THERE IS NO TIME LIMIT, NO RULES! THIS IS AN UNSANCTIONED BOUT AND THERE MUST BE A WINNER!
HUGE POP!
DR. SCREAM: INTRODUCING FIRST FROM THE CANADIAN EMBASSY IN MEXICO BY WAY OF GUELPH, ONTARIO, CANADA - HE WEIGHS IN AT TWO HUNDRED AND TWENTY POUNDS - TIGER MASK RED!
Mostly boos, but some cheers.
DR. SCREAM: HIS OPPONENT FROM THE CONFECTIONERY AISLE - HE WEIGHS IN AT ONE HUNDRED AND FIFTY POUNDS - THE REIGNING SUPREMO CHAMPION OF THE WORLD - EL VAINILLO!
Super Pollo calls for the door to be shut so Smalltooth Jones closes it up and puts the padlock on. Soup shakes the cage door a couple times to make sure it's locked up and turns his attention back to El Vainillo and Tiger Mask Red. He quickly explains that they have to score a fall in order to be eligible to climb out of the cage, but if the process is interrupted then they'll be forced to score another fall before they can do it again. Vainillo nods, and Tiger just motions with his hand to get on with it. Pollo gives him a "yeah, yeah" right back and calls for the bell....
BASTIAN KRULL: A real big fight feel in the atmosphere here tonight and they're wasting no time at all!
Red storms out but the eagerness gets the better of him as Vainillo ducks the attack and presses his own! Several big rights from the Supremo Champion of the World stagger the former champion back into the corner! Vainillo gets up on the second rope and rains down blows as the fans chant along! 1... 2... 3... 4... 5... 6... 7... 8... 9... 10! Vainillo applies a muay thai clinch and drops down before monkey flipping Red into the middle of the ring! Red stumbles back to his feet and Vainillo runs in... HURACANRAN-no! Red pulls him back up into a powerbomb position and powerbombs him right into the cage wall before falling back down to the mat himself! The crowd comes alive with HOLY SHIT! chants as Vainillo slowly drops down between the ropes and the cage, folded up like an accordion. Red gets up off his knees and begins climbing the cage before his foot is grabbed by Super Pollo, Red tries to swat at him but Soup dodges it and begins yelling that he needs to pin him before he can try leaving the cage. Tiger rolls his eyes and jumps down, yanking Vanillo by the foot to drag him back into a position where he can pin him. He covers!
1...
2...
KICK OUT!
BASTIAN KRULL: Given how much time he wasted between the power bomb and the pin, I think he would've gotten the three!
MANDARIN: Even so, that power bomb this early in the match is a bad omen! A power bomb is a brutal move, Bastian, and this one threw El Vainillo into the cage wall. The wall barely shook, but I'll bet you ten human dollars that his body did!
Tiger argues with Soup about the count while the Supremo champion begins crawling to the ropes. Tiger runs in and hoofs him in the side sending him tumbling across the ring. Red goes back to arguing with Pollo, who's looking more and more like he's going to slap the taste out of the rudo's mouth. Vainillo again begins pulling himself up using the ropes. Tiger sees this and pushes past Pollo, the rudo gets in Vainillo's face and repeatedly tells him to get up, even ripping at his mask while he does so. Tiger runs to the opposite ropes and springs back with a splash in mind, but the Supremo champion ducks and Tiger Mask Red crashes into the cage! He falls down to the mat and Vainillo hobbles to his feet, grabs Red up and sends him into the cage again! The crowd comes alive with chants for El Vainillo, who drops down and covers!
1...
2...
NO!
BASTIAN KRULL: I think Vainillo will have to utilize a lot of counter moves in this match because the steel cage eliminates some opportunities for Vainillo, who obviously relies on a lot of high-flying offense. There are still plenty of ways for a high flyer to press the attack in this match, but many are high-risk.
MANDARIN: High reward also!
BASTIAN KRULL: Yes, but given the punishment already sustained in the opening moments - he's going to have to pick and choose to make it count.
Vainillo drops down to a knee, trying to catch his breath and recuperate a bit while Tiger Mask Red is down on the mat. The former Supremo champion slowly stands up and circles around to the front of Tiger Red, unleashing some stiff looking kicks to his upper body as the crowd chants along. Vainillo winds up for the kill shot but Tiger ducks. Vainillo's momentum carries him in a full rotation and almost fluidly, he leaps up and grabs Tiger's head between his thighs and hurracanranas him! The crowd gasps as Tiger Mask Red is spiked head first into the mat rather than landing on his back.
BASTIAN KRULL: Not intentional by any means, Tiger Mask Red was on his knees when he took that hurracanrana... so his own height worked against him. This might be the opening that Vainillo needed!
Super Pollo checks over Red, but gets shoved aside by Vainillo as he dives on top for the lateral press!
1...
...
2...
...
3!
With that fall, the Supremo Champion of the World is now eligible to climb out of the cage. He rolls off Red and Soup goes back to checking on him as Vainillo struggles to get to his feet, falling a couple of times before opting to simply crawl over to the ropes. Vainillo doesn't have much better luck with the ropes, clutching them and then falling and repeating the process until he's standing on albeit shaky legs. He grabs the cage and puts a foot on the bottom rope, then lunges up, putting his knees on the top rope and trying to use his hands and arms to pull himself to a standing position. He tries to steady himself on the ropes as Red gets up to a knee, Super Pollo is crouched between the two men asking Tiger Red questions about his extremities after landing on his neck but the rudo shoves Super Pollo sending the special referee back into the ropes and inadvertently crotching El Vainillo in the process! Pollo storms up into Tiger's face as he gets to his feet which elicits a smirk from Red, who invites Soup to hit him.
MANDARIN: You will not find a bigger Super Pollo supporter than I because I owe that chicken man and his family a lot! He does not need to lose his cool here, his special referee contract specifically forbade him from getting physically involved in this match and Tiger Mask Red knows this!
Soup steps around Tiger causing the rudo to laugh, Tiger Mask Red grabs the crotched El Vainillo's head and begins bouncing him off the cage wall head first! He stops, rips open the mask some more and begins grinding the opening of the mask into the cage! Vainillo cries out in pain as Tiger pulls him back and slams him into the cage once more causing Vainillo to hang precariously as his leg is caught up in the ropes. Red climbs up on the ropes using the cage to balance himself and begins stomping the hell out of Vainillo's leg! The stomps eventually cause Vainillo's leg to free up from the ropes and the tecnico falls to the mat clutching his leg in pain. Tiger turns and steadies himself with the cage... leaping off with a tiger press to the legs! Vainillo yelps as Tiger tries to rush to his feet and continue his offense but finds himself stumbling back down to the mat, holding his neck in pain. Vainillo rolls away as Tiger cranks his neck back and forth in the corner allowing the champion to try and pull himself up to his feet. Tiger shakes it off and returns to attack, he grabs Vainillo's bad wheel and yanks him away from the ropes causing him to hobble on his one good leg. Tiger slaps the bad leg a few times before WHAM!
BASTIAN KRULL: ENZUIGIRI!
Vainillo's good leg catches Tiger flush and sends him stumbling into the ropes. Vainillo lands hard on his bad leg, but fights to his feet... Tiger snarls up to his feet and charges... SUPERKIC-NO! Tiger catches the kick again, but wastes no time in tripping up the good leg and applying a single leg crab! Vainillo tries his best to fight off the move, but Tiger's got him right where he wants him. Tiger changes position and puts his knee on the back of Vainillo's head while torquing back on the leg and effectively his spine. Vainillo yells "no" emphatically each time Super Pollo asks him if he wants to give up, but this situation isn't getting any better for the champion and Pollo calls for the fall! Tiger releases and gives a sarcastic "thanks, buddy!" to Pollo before stomping Vainillo's leg again and turning his attention to the cage.
BASTIAN KRULL: El Vainillo certainly won't like that call from Super Pollo, but referee stoppages are there for the safety of the wrestler. Vainillo would not submit, but could not improve the position he was in and so Super Pollo was forced to make a judgment call.
Tiger climbs up the ropes, then begins his ascent up the cage. Vainillo tries to put weight on his leg, but the leg isn't cooperating with him too well. He stumbles and falls, gets back up and the process repeats itself. He gets to the ropes as Tiger is nearing the top of the cage, Vainillo pulls himself up and frantically ascends the cage as Tiger cockily waves to him while he's climbing over the top. Vainillo musters all of his power and energy and scales up the cage, Tiger is completely over onto the other side and just needs to drop...
MANDARIN: Oh my Darammu! He's got his mask!
Indeed, Vainillo has grabbed Tiger's mask in a last ditch effort to save himself from being unmasked, pulling it up a bit so he can grab Tiger's hair! Vainillo is so focused on getting Tiger back in the cage that he loses his footing and dangles on the other side. This works out for the champion though, as Tiger is forced to quickly climb back up to ease the pain! Vainillo regains his footing and snapmares Tiger by his hair over the top of the cage back into the ring! Tiger lands on the ropes and topples over into the ring! El Vainillo falls back into the corner of the cage as the crowd comes unglued.
BASTIAN KRULL: He can't climb out... he's not eligible... but he can climb up!
Vainillo pulls himself to a seated position on top of the cage and slowly but surely steadies himself on the very top of the cage. Everything goes quiet as Vainillo leaps off...
SHOOTING
STAR
PRESS
OH
MY
GOD
HE NAILS EVERY BIT OF IT!
However, the impact effects his legs severely too and he can't even make a cover because he's rolling around on the mat in all kinds of pain. Tiger is holding his own body in pain laying face down. Super Pollo leans back in the corner because there's nothing else he can do - there's no ten count for both men being down because there must be a winner! Vainillo stops and quickly crawls over to Red, using his head to roll him onto his back again. He covers!
1...
...
2...
...
3!
Vainillo rolls off of him and looks up at the structure he must ascend despite his injury. The champion gets to one knee and breathes heavily before putting pressure on his bad leg, he hops a couple of times and gets to the ropes to hold himself up. He leaps, leaps, leaps his way to the top rope but slips once there and has to repeat the process again, Vainillo gets to the top rope a second time and gets set to pull himself up when he slips again. Undeterred, Vainillo marches on, grasping at the cage and clawing his way up to get his knees, then his feet on the top rope. He steadies himself... takes a deep breath.
CHOP BLOCK!
Tiger cuts him down with a forearm to the back of the knee! Vainillo falls into the ring and rolls away writhing in pain, but Tiger is unable to immediately follow up on the attack as he's slung over the ropes recuperating himself. Vainillo hobbles to his feet and charges... he grabs a rear waistlock and sends Red face first into the cage before rolling him back O'Connor style!
1...
...
2...
...
NO!
Vainillo gets kicked off right into the cage! Red groggily gets to his feet and grabs Vainillo as he's bouncing back with a rear waistlock. I don't know what his preferred vacation destination is, but Suplex city is booming with tourism and El Vainillo is the latest to go... GERMAN SUPLEX! Tiger releases and catches his breath before rolling to his feet, he grabs Vainillo in a front facelock and hoists him up before dropping him to the mat with a brainbuster! Cover!
1...
...
2...
...
3!
BASTIAN KRULL: I think that might be it for El Vainillo. He's taken a lot of punishment in this match.
Tiger scurries across the mat, scales up the ropes and begins climbing the cage. Without much fanfare or showmanship, he climbs up to the very top and looks down at the ground below. He looks back in the ring to see El Vainillo is stirring and suddenly becomes fixated on him again. O'Neal begs and pleads with him to just come down, but Red stands straight up on the top of the cage...
TIGER PRESS
FROM THE TOP OF THE CAGE!
MANDARIN: NOBODY HOME!
Tiger crashes and burns hard, as El Vainillo rolls out of the way. Both men lay flat on the mat for what seems like an eternity.
BASTIAN KRULL: There is really nothing anyone can do here. These men may be too injured to continue, but they signed the contracts, the waivers - we've got to have a winner to put an end to this once and for all!
The vanilla luchador fights so valiantly to get to his feet that he forgets about his leg being hurt and falls to a knee, he grabs Tiger and sets him up... then climbs back to his feet and tries for the International Destroyer but can't push off with his injured leg. He falls back into the ropes as Tiger falls back to all fours. Vainillo grabs the arm and la magistrals him!
1...
...
2...
...
3-NO!
Super Pollo's hand almost hit the mat - that's how close that count was. Vainillo gets up, but once more falls into the ropes and stays there while Tiger gets to his feet. The Supremo Champion of the World rushes in and big boots Red in the face, causing him to stumble into the opposite ropes while Vainillo goes down clutching his leg. Red comes roaring back out with a lariat that violently sends Vainillo to the mat from his knees. Red crawls over to Vainillo and pulls him up a bit to get a grip, then in one swift motion delivers a reverse STO! Both men lay motionless on the mat after the impact, but Tiger suddenly kicks up.
BASTIAN KRULL: KOJI CLUTCH!
Vainillo fights and fights and fights, and once more shouts "no" after each question from Super Pollo about submitting. Vainillo gradually fades and Super Pollo is noticeably torn up about having to do this again, but calls the fall. Tiger slithers away, grabbing the middle rope to pull himself up and then lunges onto the top rope. He climbs up, stopping every few seconds to look back down at Vainillo while O'Neal is screaming at him to climb over. Tiger climbs to the very top of the cage and sits waiting as Vainillo drags himself over to the ropes, slowly pulling himself up... clawing, bleeding, ripped mask and all, reaching out for Tiger's foot. The fans cheer as Tiger climbs back down as Vainillo is climbing up, but boo as all he does is facewash Vainillo with his boot - sending him back down to the mat with a thud. Tiger returns to the top of the cage, raises his arms and climbs down the other side and drops to the floor as the bell sounds. Smalltooth Jones unlocks the cage door and Owl Man climbs inside with a steel chair and a microphone in hand while all three referees try to keep the rudos out. Owl Man sets the chair up in the middle of the ring as Owl Man and Soup help Vainillo onto the chair, but he doubles over with his head in his hands and slowly begins unlacing the back of his mask. Tiger Mask Red and the fans wait with baited breath as Owl hands Vainillo the microphone. Pollo exits the cage, exchanging words with Tiger Mask Red and the two nearly come to blows on the outside but the referees separate them as D.C. Wiland arrives at ringside to join Tiger Red and Charlotte O'Neal. Back inside the ring, though, Vainillo unlaces the final lace and holds his hand over top of his head. Vainillo hands the microphone back to Owl Man, telling him he won't need it as he stands up and prepares himself emotionally for taking the mask off. Tiger is becoming antsy on the outside, and the two heated rivals lock eyes as Vainillo slowly unmasks to reveal...
"YOU SON OF A BITCH!"
Red tries to charge into the cage to attack Jason Orion, but Jones and the Pollos try to restrain but all hell breaks loose and the rudos break free, smack some skulls and jump in the cage. Darnell Cane cracks Jones with the padlock and locks the door! Two rudos and a manager against Jason Orion and Owl Man, the two exchange a knowing glance and start fighting! Red kicks Orion's leg out from underneath him and the trio gang up on Owl Man. Popcorn Pollo tries climbing the cage on one side, but O'Neal sprays him in the eyes with perfume! Super Pollo tries climbing up the other side but Wiland runs up and kicks the cage, sending him back down to the floor. The tecnico locker room empties out - Marco Casas, Ursula Areano, Sailor Cherry even Algie comes out, but Zargnax is right behind her trying to reel her back. The tecnicos begin storming the cage, trying to climb in and the rudos initially try to fight them off but realize they'll be outnumbered if they get in so they take off up the opposite cage wall and Darnell Cane greets them on the outside before they exit through the crowd. Super Pollo breaks the lock on the cage door and climbs inside just as the other tecnicos are getting in the ring. La Cucharacha comes running down with a half-eaten sandwich in her hand. Casas and Pollo help Owl Man to his feet while the ladies pick up a beaten, bloody Jason Orion and help him out of the cage. Tiger Mask Red is the final shot, standing atop the balcony of the Pollo Hall with El Vainillo's bloody mask raised high.
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