Post by Buck U Productions on Apr 10, 2016 19:37:25 GMT
Charlotte O’Neal stands with Holly Guacamole and Brute in front of the Canadian Embassy Misfits banner.
“Ladies and gentlemen, my name is Charlotte O’Neal and I not only am I the official representative for the Canadian Embassy in Mexico here in Pollomania but I’m also the advocate for these two individuals, Holly Guacamole and Agent Brutus Smith!”
“What’s up bitches!”
“I am Brute.”
Charlotte offers an insincere to the camera and continues.
“On April 13th, 2016, in Minneapolis, Minnesota, at the first ever ‘Rotisserie Rumble’, my clients’ have the opportunity of a life time. They will compete against two other teams to be named the first ever Pollomania Twin Eggs Championships. Now, I don’t want to take anything away from my clients’ opponents, however, I do feel that this match should not even be taking at all.
“Now, I’m sure most of you out there are aware of what has recent occurred here, but for those of you left unaware, let me bring you up to speed. When the Tag Grand Prix started to name the first ever Twin Egg Champions, the mighty, alien conqueror, Zargnax was teaming with Mr. Crazy, known collectively as “Starship Insanity” and Owl Man was teaming with El Vainillo as “Masked Justice”. Fast forward a few weeks and El Vainillo wins the Supremo Championship from mu husband, Tiger Mask Red, and Mr. Crazy is sucked under the ring by some evil force, which seems to have it out for Zargnax.
“At a press conference we called for El Vainillo to be removed from the Grand Prix, since as the new Supremo Champion, he should not be allowed to compete, as no champion is allowed to hold two titles at once, and since that would mean that neither Owl Man or Zargnax had partners, that both teams be removed as well and their points forfeited. Instead though, AIPollo allowed them both to find new partners. Zargnax chose chain-smoking Brit, Corinthian and Owl Man ‘chose’ Jason Orion, who it’s pretty obvious is really El Vainillo without his mask. We protested these decisions but were met with silence from AIPollo.
“This brings us to this triple threat match. It is Zargnax and, what is it, his third or fourth partner, Algie versus Owl Man and (scoffing) Jason Orion versus our very own Holly and Agent Smith. This makes for an interesting dynamic because Zargnax and his original partner beat us but lost to the team now known as ‘Constellation Owlsome’, who Holly and Brute beat a few weeks ago in Toronto! So what we have here is Holly and Brute against one team that they’ve already proven they can beat and another that has never teamed up with each other a day in their lives! Ladies and gentlemen, like it or not, that makes this team right here the odds on favorite to win this match!
“There’s not a single person in this match who can match the sheer strength of Agent Brutus Smith (he flexes his muscles) and there’s no one in this match who’s got the kind of pitbull mentality and pure desire to prove themselves in the way that Holly Guacamole does. Add in the fact that no matter whether he wants to admit that he’s also El Vainillo or not, Jason Orion has to be thinking about in the back of his head about his Supremo Championship return match against my husband, which I understand will take place immediately after this one, and it’s pretty clear that those brand new Twin Egg Championships are ripe for the pickings for my clients right here.”
Charlotte turns to look at her clients and all three of them start laughing. Holly holds up a brand new hockey goalie stick and Brute produces an impossibly large wooden board, which looks like he ripped took from a construction site somewhere.
“Oh,” Charlotte says, holding a finger up to her devilish grin, “Did I forget to mention that because this is a triple threat match that there isn’t any disqualification of count outs.”
“So we can do whatever we want to you, assholes,” Holly cackles, swinging her new hockey stick around.
“So ‘Starship Madness’, ‘Constellation Owlsome’,” Charlotte concludes, “congratulations on making it this far. It’s been a fun ride for both of you teams, but this is the end of the road. The Canadian Embassy Misfits are the new Twin Egg Champions. Count on it!”
“For the Embassy!” she and Holly say together while doing their hand gesture.
“Ladies and gentlemen, my name is Charlotte O’Neal and I not only am I the official representative for the Canadian Embassy in Mexico here in Pollomania but I’m also the advocate for these two individuals, Holly Guacamole and Agent Brutus Smith!”
“What’s up bitches!”
“I am Brute.”
Charlotte offers an insincere to the camera and continues.
“On April 13th, 2016, in Minneapolis, Minnesota, at the first ever ‘Rotisserie Rumble’, my clients’ have the opportunity of a life time. They will compete against two other teams to be named the first ever Pollomania Twin Eggs Championships. Now, I don’t want to take anything away from my clients’ opponents, however, I do feel that this match should not even be taking at all.
“Now, I’m sure most of you out there are aware of what has recent occurred here, but for those of you left unaware, let me bring you up to speed. When the Tag Grand Prix started to name the first ever Twin Egg Champions, the mighty, alien conqueror, Zargnax was teaming with Mr. Crazy, known collectively as “Starship Insanity” and Owl Man was teaming with El Vainillo as “Masked Justice”. Fast forward a few weeks and El Vainillo wins the Supremo Championship from mu husband, Tiger Mask Red, and Mr. Crazy is sucked under the ring by some evil force, which seems to have it out for Zargnax.
“At a press conference we called for El Vainillo to be removed from the Grand Prix, since as the new Supremo Champion, he should not be allowed to compete, as no champion is allowed to hold two titles at once, and since that would mean that neither Owl Man or Zargnax had partners, that both teams be removed as well and their points forfeited. Instead though, AIPollo allowed them both to find new partners. Zargnax chose chain-smoking Brit, Corinthian and Owl Man ‘chose’ Jason Orion, who it’s pretty obvious is really El Vainillo without his mask. We protested these decisions but were met with silence from AIPollo.
“This brings us to this triple threat match. It is Zargnax and, what is it, his third or fourth partner, Algie versus Owl Man and (scoffing) Jason Orion versus our very own Holly and Agent Smith. This makes for an interesting dynamic because Zargnax and his original partner beat us but lost to the team now known as ‘Constellation Owlsome’, who Holly and Brute beat a few weeks ago in Toronto! So what we have here is Holly and Brute against one team that they’ve already proven they can beat and another that has never teamed up with each other a day in their lives! Ladies and gentlemen, like it or not, that makes this team right here the odds on favorite to win this match!
“There’s not a single person in this match who can match the sheer strength of Agent Brutus Smith (he flexes his muscles) and there’s no one in this match who’s got the kind of pitbull mentality and pure desire to prove themselves in the way that Holly Guacamole does. Add in the fact that no matter whether he wants to admit that he’s also El Vainillo or not, Jason Orion has to be thinking about in the back of his head about his Supremo Championship return match against my husband, which I understand will take place immediately after this one, and it’s pretty clear that those brand new Twin Egg Championships are ripe for the pickings for my clients right here.”
Charlotte turns to look at her clients and all three of them start laughing. Holly holds up a brand new hockey goalie stick and Brute produces an impossibly large wooden board, which looks like he ripped took from a construction site somewhere.
“Oh,” Charlotte says, holding a finger up to her devilish grin, “Did I forget to mention that because this is a triple threat match that there isn’t any disqualification of count outs.”
“So we can do whatever we want to you, assholes,” Holly cackles, swinging her new hockey stick around.
“So ‘Starship Madness’, ‘Constellation Owlsome’,” Charlotte concludes, “congratulations on making it this far. It’s been a fun ride for both of you teams, but this is the end of the road. The Canadian Embassy Misfits are the new Twin Egg Champions. Count on it!”
“For the Embassy!” she and Holly say together while doing their hand gesture.