Post by Buck U Productions on Apr 7, 2016 16:13:35 GMT
Camera focuses in on Holly Guacamole sitting on a living room couch. She’s staring at a championship in her hands with a thoughtful expression on her face.
“Last night, I stood in the back of an arena here in Dallas and I watched my brother win yet another championship. Don’t get me wrong, I’m happy for him. Whether you like my brother or not, you can’t deny that he’s as good as he says he is,” Holly places the belt down beside her and looks straight at the camera, “but if there’s anything I’ve learned from my brother is that no matter how good you are you need to be ready with a Plan B just encase things don’t go your way.
“I can remember watching my brother wrestle in that same building a little while ago. That night he fought in a match for another champion. He didn’t win that match and later that same night fought in a match a lot like next week’s Rotisserie Rumble. To my shock and I’m sure everyone else’s in the building, Tiggie was quickly eliminated from that match and walked away from that night zero for two. When I asked him afterward what happened all he would say was that he hadn’t let himself believe for a second that we would lose that championship match so he hadn’t prepared a Plan B.
“Next Wednesday in Minneapolis, I find myself in a similar situation. Me and my buddy Brute are scheduled to fight two other teams to become the first ever Pollomania Twin Egg Championships. Now we don’t have any plans of losing that match. In fact we’re planning to make a statement that night on how dominant the Canadian Embassy Misfits really are but there is a possibility that we won’t win that match; that’s the trouble with triple threat matches, you don’t have to be pinned or tap out to lose. Which means that I better have my Plan B ready and that’s winning the Rotisserie Rumble and becoming the first ever Pollomania Golden Egg Champion!”
Holly lets out a giggles, blows on her nails and brushes them off on her top, all the while with a smug look on her face.
“The Golden Egg Champion, I like the sound of that. Let me ask you bitches something: Who better to hold such a title than the ‘Princess of the Embassy’ herself? I know that most of you don’t believe that I can do it. I know that most of you think that I’m just Tiggie’s bratty little sister. So let’s remind all of you what I’ve accomplished in recent weeks. I won last year’s Three Cup Chicken Trios Tournament last summer with my brother and Brute; Brute and I have won three of our four matches in the Tag Grand Prix, with yours truly getting the win in all everyone of those matches, including making Jason… oops, I mean El Vainillo pass out in the Sharpshooter; lastly, I took that bitch Ursula Areano to the limit and our match ended in a draw. I have improved on every show and whether you all care to admit it or not it’s only a matter of time before Holly Guacamole is wearing gold. If it’s not the Twin Eggs Championships, then it’s going to be the Golden Egg Championship.
“‘How can you be so cocky’, you ask. That’s simple, I’ve got an insurance policy and he’s seven feet tall and almost five hundred pounds. My buddy Brute Smith will throw all those geeks and posers out of the ring, left, right and center and doesn’t have any problem afterward stepping over the top rope and letting me win. You know what though? Maybe, I’ll just do it myself and prove to all you morons out there that Holly Guacamole is no one’s bitch.
“So it doesn’t matter to me who I have to face, whether it’s Strange Brew, that bitch Ursula, that disgusting La Cucharacha or even my man crush, D.C. Wilands (she blows a kiss to the camera), you all start praying to whatever God you believe in that Brute and I win the Twin Egg Championships because if we don’t you can all kiss your chances of winning the Golden Egg Championship goodbye!”
She holds up four fingers, then lowers her index finger and makes the letter E with her remaining digits (like NWO Wolfpac’s Konan doing his “4 Life”).
“For the Embassy!”
“Last night, I stood in the back of an arena here in Dallas and I watched my brother win yet another championship. Don’t get me wrong, I’m happy for him. Whether you like my brother or not, you can’t deny that he’s as good as he says he is,” Holly places the belt down beside her and looks straight at the camera, “but if there’s anything I’ve learned from my brother is that no matter how good you are you need to be ready with a Plan B just encase things don’t go your way.
“I can remember watching my brother wrestle in that same building a little while ago. That night he fought in a match for another champion. He didn’t win that match and later that same night fought in a match a lot like next week’s Rotisserie Rumble. To my shock and I’m sure everyone else’s in the building, Tiggie was quickly eliminated from that match and walked away from that night zero for two. When I asked him afterward what happened all he would say was that he hadn’t let himself believe for a second that we would lose that championship match so he hadn’t prepared a Plan B.
“Next Wednesday in Minneapolis, I find myself in a similar situation. Me and my buddy Brute are scheduled to fight two other teams to become the first ever Pollomania Twin Egg Championships. Now we don’t have any plans of losing that match. In fact we’re planning to make a statement that night on how dominant the Canadian Embassy Misfits really are but there is a possibility that we won’t win that match; that’s the trouble with triple threat matches, you don’t have to be pinned or tap out to lose. Which means that I better have my Plan B ready and that’s winning the Rotisserie Rumble and becoming the first ever Pollomania Golden Egg Champion!”
Holly lets out a giggles, blows on her nails and brushes them off on her top, all the while with a smug look on her face.
“The Golden Egg Champion, I like the sound of that. Let me ask you bitches something: Who better to hold such a title than the ‘Princess of the Embassy’ herself? I know that most of you don’t believe that I can do it. I know that most of you think that I’m just Tiggie’s bratty little sister. So let’s remind all of you what I’ve accomplished in recent weeks. I won last year’s Three Cup Chicken Trios Tournament last summer with my brother and Brute; Brute and I have won three of our four matches in the Tag Grand Prix, with yours truly getting the win in all everyone of those matches, including making Jason… oops, I mean El Vainillo pass out in the Sharpshooter; lastly, I took that bitch Ursula Areano to the limit and our match ended in a draw. I have improved on every show and whether you all care to admit it or not it’s only a matter of time before Holly Guacamole is wearing gold. If it’s not the Twin Eggs Championships, then it’s going to be the Golden Egg Championship.
“‘How can you be so cocky’, you ask. That’s simple, I’ve got an insurance policy and he’s seven feet tall and almost five hundred pounds. My buddy Brute Smith will throw all those geeks and posers out of the ring, left, right and center and doesn’t have any problem afterward stepping over the top rope and letting me win. You know what though? Maybe, I’ll just do it myself and prove to all you morons out there that Holly Guacamole is no one’s bitch.
“So it doesn’t matter to me who I have to face, whether it’s Strange Brew, that bitch Ursula, that disgusting La Cucharacha or even my man crush, D.C. Wilands (she blows a kiss to the camera), you all start praying to whatever God you believe in that Brute and I win the Twin Egg Championships because if we don’t you can all kiss your chances of winning the Golden Egg Championship goodbye!”
She holds up four fingers, then lowers her index finger and makes the letter E with her remaining digits (like NWO Wolfpac’s Konan doing his “4 Life”).
“For the Embassy!”