Post by Deleted on Apr 3, 2016 22:13:57 GMT
OFF-CAMERA
'You ready, bro?'
Jason fires up the video recording app, but I stop him. 'Jay...wait.'
'Huh?'
Now that I have his attention, I hesitate. Because of course I do.
'I want you to know that...well...' Ugh, Wally, why are you not better with words?! 'I want you to know that the reason I'm in the Rumble...' I stop again, hating myself for not being able to speak like a normal person.
'I never meant to challenge you', I eventually manage. 'And if it comes to that...'
I don't get to finish my thought; Jay stops me with a hand across my chest.
'Dude...don't. It's fine. Really.'
'You sure...?' Tread carefully, Walter. Tread very carefully.
'Sure. If it comes to that, I'll give you a match, and if you beat me I'll raise your hand and be happy for you. And we'll be bros. Just like now.'
'You sure, Jay? I don't want any problems between us. You're my first friend in forever. And a great tag team partner. I'm not gonna throw that away just for a title. Know what I mean?'
'I know. And it's fine. Really, Walt. Believe me. It's fine.' He smiles, and it's so genuine that I can't help but smile back.
'If you say so...'
'I say so.' He grins again. 'Now c'mon, we gotta get this thing done before it gets too dark.'
ON-CAMERA
'Popular wisdom tells us it takes two to tango. What this means, in practical terms, is that any activity requiring more than one person to be successful benefits from each participant putting in as much as all the others. Of course, tango dancers are trying to cooperate with one another, but this rule applies to competitive contests as well.'
'What my partner is trying to say is that even something like a battle becomes much more memorable if the armies are evenly matched. When one side goes in not having a popsicle's chance on a hot day, the contest tends to be forgettable; but when all sides come prepared, and make it hard for one another, that's when battles become memorable. That's when they go down in history.'
'On Wednesday, in Minnesota, three evenly matched armies have the chance to make Pollomania history. Constellation Owlsome, the Canadian Embassy Misfits and Zargnax and his different partners are so evenly matched, in fact, that there was no way to separate them during the regular Tag Grand Prix. The end result of that tournament was a three-way tie, which forced Pollomania officials to make an extra rubber match to crown the first-ever Pollomania Twin Egg Champions.'
'That match will take place at Rotisserie Rumble next Wednesday, and if previous encounters are anything to go by, the three teams remain as even as ever. Proof of this is that each of the three took a loss to one of the others during the Tag Grand Prix – the Misfits to Zargnax and Mr. Crazy, Zargnax and Mr. Crazy to Masked Justice, and Masked Justice to the Misfits.'
'That was then, though, and this is now. Constellation Owlsome is not the same team Masked Justice were, and Zargnax is on his third partner in as many matches. The only team that remains consistent are the Canadian Embassy Misfits. So it's easy to see how people would be fooled into believing the Misfits were favorites. After all, they were the only team to not have any changes, and they're good at taking shortcuts and cheating. Why shouldn't they win? Owlie, you want to tell them why?'
'Gladly, Jason. The reason the Misfits aren't a shoe-in to become Pollomania Twin Egg Champions is that across from them will be two of the hardest-working men in the Pollomania roster. Across from them will be two men willing to go the extra mile to make sure the fans get the result they want at the end of the night. Across from the Canadian Embassy Misfits on Wednesday night...will be two heroes.'
'And this goes for you, too, Zargnax. We aren't so dumb as to underestimate you, or overlook you. We know how dangerous you can be, you and your space gun. But you're making a mistake if you're overlooking us, too. Because we may not have fancy gadgets, but I'll tell you what we have a lot of, Zargnax. We have a lot of heart. And that is the biggest advantage of them all.'
'That's right, Zargnax, Misfits – on Wednesday, we're going to have advantages of our own when we step into that ring with you. Holly and Brute may have beaten us before, and know how to cheat and have the raw power; Zargnax may be the most unpredictable wrestler out there and have a space gun ready for firing; his new partner may be the pinnacle of alien technology. But Jason and I? We have something to offer, too. We have heart. We have courage. We have drive. We have determination. We're motivated. And most important of all...we're the ones the fans want to win. And there is no way we will ever let our fans down.'
'So yeah, Zargnax, Misfits – when Pollomania hits Minnesota on Wednesday night, I hope you four are ready. Because we know we're going to be. You don't win a battle without preparation, let alone a war. And make no mistake – out there on Wednesday, it's going to be a war.'
'And gentlemen...we plan on winning it.'
Final Word Count: 911
Final Word Count: 911