Post by Deleted on Apr 2, 2016 8:01:25 GMT
Another Pollo Bucket commercial cuts abruptly, before the citizens of Santa Poco can receive the chicken they so desperately need. The feed cuts to an interior shot with La Cucaracha's head crowding the frame.
La Cucaracha: Now that I know for sure the McDonald's thing was an April Fool's gag, I'd like to assure everyone that my loyalty to POLLOMANIA never wavered.
Ever since I arrived here, I've wanted to do three things: Entertain the fans, win matches, and support the Pollo Bucket brand--and not just for my own job security--but because I genuinely believe in the mission of Pollo Bucket: To provide the masses with chicken product at a competitive price, served by teenagers and adults who regret so, so many decisions.
While no one could possibly question my integrity and my steadfast dedication to POLLOMANIA, there are still those low-IQed, mouth-breathing naysayers who think my abilities as a wrestler should be called into question. As if a wrestler isn't allowed to be a gifted ring technician and a cornucopia of charisma. A few months from now Larry from accounting is going to ask Chris from sales, "Didn't you say there's no way La Cucaracha can win the Rotisserie Rumble, become the first ever POLLOMANIA Golden Egg Champion, and then go on to become the most important figure in POLLOMANIA history?"
Chris is going to try to act like he didn't say that, but we all know he did. Now everyone in the office thinks Chris is an idiot. His marriage was already on the rocks, and this sure isn't gonna make things any easier. One look into his eyes and his wife knows he's not the man she married. Not anymore.
But if you actually are betting on me to win the Rotisserie Rumble, then congratulations. You're a genius. Not only am I going to win, but I'm also going to eat a Big Mac--I mean some chicken nuggets--off the Golden Egg Championship when I'm done. I deserve it.
A murmur comes from off screen. The camera turns, to focus across a fast food counter onto a McDonald's employee.
McDonald's Employee: I just spoke to the manager and we're not currently hiring.
I know discrimination when I hear it.
We also tried calling your references. Two didn't have enough digits to be working phone numbers. The third, and we called several times to confirm, connected to someone breathing heavily.
I thought I just needed to list them.
I'm sorry, but McDonald's has to reject your application for employment.
This isn't over.
La Cucaracha walks to the far counter and begins shoving packs of ketchup and mustard into her backpack, while whispering to the camera.
This place sucks anyway. I will have my revenge and my Golden Egg Championship. Next time you walk into a Pollo Bucket, you tell 'em, "There better be a roach in my chicken."
Cutting back to the commercial, the denizens of Santa Poco have all apparently been slaughtered.
La Cucaracha: Now that I know for sure the McDonald's thing was an April Fool's gag, I'd like to assure everyone that my loyalty to POLLOMANIA never wavered.
Ever since I arrived here, I've wanted to do three things: Entertain the fans, win matches, and support the Pollo Bucket brand--and not just for my own job security--but because I genuinely believe in the mission of Pollo Bucket: To provide the masses with chicken product at a competitive price, served by teenagers and adults who regret so, so many decisions.
While no one could possibly question my integrity and my steadfast dedication to POLLOMANIA, there are still those low-IQed, mouth-breathing naysayers who think my abilities as a wrestler should be called into question. As if a wrestler isn't allowed to be a gifted ring technician and a cornucopia of charisma. A few months from now Larry from accounting is going to ask Chris from sales, "Didn't you say there's no way La Cucaracha can win the Rotisserie Rumble, become the first ever POLLOMANIA Golden Egg Champion, and then go on to become the most important figure in POLLOMANIA history?"
Chris is going to try to act like he didn't say that, but we all know he did. Now everyone in the office thinks Chris is an idiot. His marriage was already on the rocks, and this sure isn't gonna make things any easier. One look into his eyes and his wife knows he's not the man she married. Not anymore.
But if you actually are betting on me to win the Rotisserie Rumble, then congratulations. You're a genius. Not only am I going to win, but I'm also going to eat a Big Mac--I mean some chicken nuggets--off the Golden Egg Championship when I'm done. I deserve it.
A murmur comes from off screen. The camera turns, to focus across a fast food counter onto a McDonald's employee.
McDonald's Employee: I just spoke to the manager and we're not currently hiring.
I know discrimination when I hear it.
We also tried calling your references. Two didn't have enough digits to be working phone numbers. The third, and we called several times to confirm, connected to someone breathing heavily.
I thought I just needed to list them.
I'm sorry, but McDonald's has to reject your application for employment.
This isn't over.
La Cucaracha walks to the far counter and begins shoving packs of ketchup and mustard into her backpack, while whispering to the camera.
This place sucks anyway. I will have my revenge and my Golden Egg Championship. Next time you walk into a Pollo Bucket, you tell 'em, "There better be a roach in my chicken."
Cutting back to the commercial, the denizens of Santa Poco have all apparently been slaughtered.