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Post by ISM Office on Mar 21, 2016 8:17:49 GMT
AEX and Vaughn Ronie Jr are waiting the arrival of the Canadian Embassy Misfits, the arena plunges into darkness as a Canadian flag comes up on the POLLOVISION. "O Canada" by Daylight for Deadeyes hits and Holly Guacamole skips out of the entrance egg, stopping to dance a bit at the top of the ramp before Brutus Smith walks out behind her. She aims her hockey stick at AEX like a shotgun "firing" a couple shots before Smith scoops her onto his shoulder and the pairing make their way down to the ring.
DR. SCREAM: THIS OPENING CONTEST IS TO BE FOUGHT OVER A FIFTEEN MINUTE TIME LIMIT WITH A SINGLE FALL, SINGLE SUBMISSION OR KNOCKOUT TO DECIDE THE WINNER! INTRODUCING IN THE RED CORNER... AT A COMBINED WEIGHT OF FOUR HUNDRED AND TWENTY SIX POUNDS - "DEE-LICIOUS" DOUGLAS DIVINE AND MR. ROTTENTREATS - THE ADULT ENTERTAINMENT XPRESS! THEIR OPPONENTS IN THE BLUE CORNER... WEIGHING IN AT A COMBINED WEIGHT OF CLASSIFIED INFORMATION! - BRUTUS SMITH & HOLLY GUACAMOLE! THE CANADIAN EMBASSY MISFITS!
Smith puts Holly in the ring and climbs in himself.
DR. SCREAM: THE REFEREE FOR THIS BOUT IS POPCORN POLLO!
Holly Guacamole gives the clowns an earful as referee Popcorn Pollo is checking over the participants. Just as AEX decides Divine is going to start the match, Guacamole makes a face and exits to the floor to tag in Brutus. Smith seems to get a kick out of it, though, and climbs over the ropes as the bell sounds. Divine actually tries a single leg takedown, but barely gets the foot off the ground before Smith clubs him in the back. Divine goes down in a heap and Smith puts his foot on his back, then steps on him! Divine cries out in pain and then rolls out to the floor holding his abdomen. Rottentreats jumps into the ring as the tag is registered...
BASTIAN KRULL: I feel AEX was banking on Holly Guacamole being the one to start the match as they are entirely unsure how to deal with the massive Brute.
MANDARIN: Oh, but you are a tag team, Bastian Krull. You should have a plan for both teammates!
Rotten sizes Smith up, then offers him a handshake... Smith seems to smirk under his mask and readily accepts the handshake! The buzzer shocks Smith a bit, but he squeezes Rottentreats hand so tightly in response that neither man really has an upper hand out of this. Smith lets go and stumbles back, leaning over the ropes trying to shake himself out while Rottentreats is feverishly shaking out his hand. He tells Divine to get back in the ring as he exits, Divine slides in and immediately begins kicking the back of Brutus' leg. After a solid fifteen or so kicks, Divine rubs his hands up his torso and then grinds his fingers into Smith's eyes! Popcorn Pollo produces a yellow card!
DR. SCREAM: POPCORN POLLO HAS ISSUED A YELLOW CARD TO DOUGLAS DIVINE - HIS FIRST WARNING!
Divine protests this a bit, and shoves Pollo! He hoists it again!
DR. SCREAM: HIS SECOND WARNING!
Popcorn Pollo tells Divine that his next card will be red, meaning he's disqualified. Divine raises his hands and backs off, but eats a monster chop from Brutus Smith! He nearly goes down from the ferocity of the strike, but manages to stay on his feet and tries to tag out, but Rottentreats is still rehabbing his hand on the floor. Divine turns back around into a big boot! He hits the mat hard, but doesn't get a chance to even consider catching his breath or regaining his composure as Smith yanks him up and drags him over to his corner to tag in Holly. Smith hoists Divine up and power slams him back down! Guacamole leaps off of the top rope with the Whoopie Cushion vertical senton! Smith stands guard, daring Rottentreats to come in...
1...
2...
3!
BASTIAN KRULL: We now know that 4/13 in Minnesota will also have a Twin Egg title bout! The Embassy collect their sixth point!
MANDARIN: Lettuce not forget though - Constellation Owlsome has the chance to make that a three way dance later on tonight!
Holly jumps and hugs Smith while Rottentreats and VRJ pull Divine out underneath the bottom rope.
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Post by ISM Office on Mar 23, 2016 10:03:12 GMT
Ursula Areano and Cobblepot are already inside the ring as the opening chords of Chingon's “Cuka Rocka” announce the arrival of La Cucaracha, inspiring sounds of approval and slight indifference amongst the Pollomania faithful. The egg cracks open and a moment later, La Cucaracha scrambles out, one of her own t-shirts over her ring gear and an undisclosed item under one arm, prompting another chorus of approval and indifference. She reveals the mystery item to be an Official Pollomania La Cucaracha foam cockroach(with hissing feature), as she dashes to the tractor and climbs to the seat. Holding the foam cockroach to the sky she screams “ONLY $29.99!” before throwing the contractually mandated freebie to the rabid fans. Gracelessly jumping from the tractor back to the stage, she attempts a spin for the sake of showmanship, but lands awkwardly and only at the last second stops herself from falling off the stage completely. From there, the Canadian luchadora begins her walk to the ring, occasionally putting her hands together to make an unrecognizable roach outline. Some fans mimic the gesture, while others glare at the Wrestle-Pest in confusion and irritation. Once at the ring ropes, La Cucaracha removes her official Pollomania La Cucaracha t-shirt and casually pitches it over her shoulder to the crowd. She then steps through the ring ropes, sprinting to a far corner and climbing to the second turnbuckle, once again giving the Pollomania faithful her roach hand signal that no one can seem to duplicate.
DR. SCREAM: THIS CONTEST IS TO BE FOUGHT OVER A FIFTEEN MINUTE TIME LIMIT WITH A SINGLE FALL, SINGLE SUBMISSION OR KNOCKOUT TO DECIDE THE WINNER! INTRODUCING IN THE RED CORNER... FROM COBB COUNTY, GEORGIA AT TWO HUNDRED POUNDS EVEN - CORNELIUS COBBLEPOT! SECOND! IN THE BLUE CORNER FROM BUENOS AIRES, ARGENTINA! SHE WEIGHED IN THIS MORNING AT ONE HUNDRED TWENTY FIVE POUNDS! - URSULA AREANO! THIRD! IN THE SOON TO BE BUG INFESTED CORNER! FROM TORONTO, ONTARIO! SHE WEIGHED IN THIS MORNING AT ONE HUNDRED AND TWENTY NIN--
Cucaracha brings Scream's arm down and whispers in his ear.
LA CUCARACHA: Dude, you're making me sound fat.
Scream looks her up and down to see where she's getting this idea from...
DR. SCREAM: MAYBE WEIGHING A BIT MORE THAN THAT! LA CUCARACHA!
The Philly crowd pops and Cucaracha puts her hands on her hips and argues! She then points to someone in the crowd, seemingly for no reason, before jumping back to the mat and awaiting the opening bell.
BASTIAN KRULL: La Cucaracha had a very impressive showing in Toronto against "Captain" Gill Baits. She made quick work of him and showed the world her "Hiss of Death" which is a straightjacket variation of the DDT.
MANDARIN: Indeed! The DDT is a fearsome move in its own right! But she traps your arms and plants your head into the ground and it is night night!
The two women and the much larger Cornelius Cobblepot all eye each other suspiciously as Darnell Cane calls for the bell. The girls attack Cobblepot and back him into the corner before negoitating to Irish whip him across the ring - they each grab a wrist and attempt to send him across the ring... he hits the corner but rushes out with a double leaping clothesline! He gets back up to follow his attack up, but the girls nail him with a double dropkick! They get up and and La Cucaracha calls for a high five, but gets left hanging and the Philly crowd gasps!
MANDARIN: Oh my Darammu!
BASTIAN KRULL: I don't think Areano was paying any attention - it wasn't intentional!
MANDARIN: What DOES she pay attention to, Bastian Krull!?
Cucaracha storms over to Areano and twirls her around, the two begin arguing before Cobblepot shoves Areano into Cucaracha. "The Wrestle-Pest" and Areano get into a big cat fight on the ground, until Cucaracha kicks her off into Cobblepot! Areano smacks the back of her head on Cobblepot's face and falls down to the mat and rolls out of the ring in pain. Cobblepot falls into a seated position in the corner. Cucaracha leaps to her feet and somersault cannonballs into him! She gets up, yanks him up by his arm and he crawls across the mat. She hooks his arms, and drops him into the ground with the Hiss of Death straightjacket DDT! She covers!
1...
...
2...
...
3!
Cucaracha gets up and leaps up and down before exiting the ring past Areano, grabs up a garbage bag full of something and climbs back into the ring. She reaches in and begins throwing misshapen and off-coloured easter eggs to the crowd. Some fans catch them while other fans have the unlucky misfortune of having them break in their hands causing yoke and other guck to get all over them!
BASTIAN KRULL: Another quick and impressive win for La Cucaracha, but I would definitely like to see her put to the test here in Pollomania!
MANDARIN: I would suspect a three way dance was a test! I do not think anyone counted on Areano bumping her head and falling out of the match though!
Cucaracha makes her way down the ramp continuing to empty the bag as she does.
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Post by ISM Office on Mar 23, 2016 10:05:29 GMT
Stuntman Dan paces back and forth inside the ring as the "Invaders from Mars" theme begins.
DR. SCREAM: THIS CONTEST IS TO BE FOUGHT OVER A FIFTEEN MINUTE TIME LIMIT WITH A SINGLE FALL, SINGLE SUBMISSION OR KNOCKOUT TO DECIDE THE WINNER! INTRODUCING IN THE RED CORNER... FROM HOLLYWOOD, CALIFORNIA! HE WEIGHED IN THIS MORNING AT TWO HUNDRED POUNDS EVEN! STUNTMAN DAN! HIS OPPONENT! MAKING HIS WAY TO THE RING ACCOMPANIED BY CORINTHIAN! HE WEIGHS IN AT 5.19e-29 Terran suns! FROM FZORPON X-79b! HE IS ZARGNAX!
Freaky green and white cosmic lights begin shooting all over the place as smoke billows out of the giant egg. Corinthian walks out from the egg while Zargnax zips down the entrance ramp on something that resembles a hover board. He gets to the ring apron and thrusts into the air - Zargnax's rocket thrusters land him in the ring, and Stuntman Dan immediately attacks! Corinthian scrambles to ringside as the bell sounds. Dan clubs away on Zargnax before the alien conqueror shoves him away and creates some distance. Dan tries to attack again, but Zargnax plants a kick in his gut! Dan staggers away and Zargnax follows up with a Zoglorpian Chop (Mongolian Chop)! Another! A third! A fourth! He grabs Dan and whips him off the ropes and then Samoan drops him to the mat! The alien drags the human stuntman to his feet and then sets him up for the Zero-Point Proto-Modular Quantalizer: Ultra! He nails it and backs off, letting referee Darnell Cane begin the 10 count for the knockout. Zargnax motions to Corinthian to give him the ray gun and although initially reluctant, Corinthian picks it up and is about to hand it to Zargnax when he disappears underneath the ring! Zargnax ignores the bell sounding to signify that he's won the match and dives outside the ring, yanking the ring skirt up as he grabs his ray gun, he looks around for a few seconds with his gun ready to fire but comes up with nothing. The lights go down and a blinding bright light flashes from underneath the ring causing Zargnax to jump back.
MANDARIN: What in Jupito's four suns was that!?
The lights come back up and Zargnax is clearly a bit shaken up now having lost his second tag team partner and third ally in as many months to the mystery under the ring. Zargnax again lifts up the ring skirt and fires a few shots from his ray gun in there, creating a metallic bang sound. He steps back in curiosity as the lights flicker again and a second blinding light blows all four sides of the ring apron up. Zargnax takes off through the crowd!
BASTIAN KRULL: I don't think I've ever seen a man so paranoid.
MANDARIN: Bastian Krull! You are dealing with an unseen force! It is one thing to be afraid of something that you know about, but Zargnax has no other worldly idea what is underneath the ring - and it clearly has a bone to pick with Zargnax!
BASTIAN KRULL: It seems a bit too coincidental for sure. It has grabbed COMPUTER, Mr. Crazy and Corinthian now - all allies of Zargnax.
MANDARIN: Lettuce not forget that it tried to grab HIM.
BASTIAN KRULL: That's right.
MANDARIN: I am going to demand a second investigation to find out what is under there!
Takin' Care of Business by Bachman Turner Overdrive starts playing and the crowd rises to their feet. The giant egg opens up as True North Ant comes out on the stage and starts clapping his hands, stomping along to the beat of his theme. He jogs down to the ring as the fans clap along... and stops at ringside, looking underneath the apron before Philly Cheese Snake comes slithering out wearing a somewhat grungy Philadelphia Flyers jersey, much to the delight of his home crowd. The pair goes around the ring, making sure to slap hands with all the fans before entering the ring. True North Ant shakes hands with both the ring announcer and the referee, while Philly Cheese Snake waves to the fans. True North Ant ascends the turnbuckle closest to the hard camera and flexing for the crowd. Welcome to the Jungle starts playing and the crowd immediately sours. The Giant Egg opens and Tiger Mask Red with Charlotte O’Neal and Brute come out. Charlotte is dressed in yoga pants and a Canadian Embassy Misfits t-shirt, and is looking nervous. Tiger forgoes his normal entrance and simply walks with her to the ring and holds the ring ropes open for her. She stands nervously with him in their corner during the introductions.
DR. SCREAM: THIS CONTEST IS TO BE FOUGHT OVER A FIFTEEN MINUTE TIME LIMIT WITH A SINGLE FALL, SINGLE SUBMISSION OR KNOCKOUT TO DECIDE THE WINNER! INTRODUCING IN THE RED CORNER... AT A COMBINED WEIGHT OF FOUR HUNDRED FORTY THREE POUNDS! TRUE NORTH ANT! PHILLY CHEESE SNAKE! STRANGE BREW!
BIG pop for Philly Cheese Snake!
THEIR OPPONENTS IN THE BLUE CORNER... AT A COMBINED WEIGHT OF CLASSIFIED AMOUNT - TIGER MASK RED AND CHARLOTTE O’NEAL OF THE CANADIAN EMBASSY MISFITS!
Boos, boos and more boos.
DR. SCREAM: YOUR REFEREE IN CHARGE IS DARNELL CANE!
The city of Philadelphia tries to boo Darnell out of the building. He does his best to ignore it and calls for the bell. Tiger and True North Ant start for their teams. They hook up in the middle of the ring in a collar and elbow lock up. Ant shows his superior strength by shoving Tiger to the mat and flexes for the crowd. Tiger jumps to his feet and immediately tries it again with similar results. This time Tiger gets up much slower. Brute waves him over and along with Charlotte the three have a quick meeting before continuing. Tiger appears to go for another collar and elbow but instead kicks True North Ant in the stomach. He attempts to Irish whip his opponent but TNA reverses it and sends him into the ropes, right into Charlotte, who falls to the floor and begins screaming in pain while clutching her knee.
Tiger and Darnell quickly exit the ring to check on her while True North Ant looks on somewhat concerned. No one is paying attention to Brute, who circles the ring and pulls Philly Cheese Snake off the apron. Before the snake man has any idea what’s happening, Brute smashes his head into the ring post and chokeslams Philly spine first against the ring apron. TNA charges over to help his partner and gets punched in the chin. Tiger wastes no time entering the ring and immediately starts stomping away at True North Ant.
Darnell Cane gets back into the ring and acts completely confused by the booing crowd. He sees Philly Cheese Snake on the ground and Brute standing nearby. He asks the giant what happened but Brute simply shrugs his shoulders and walks away. Meanwhile on the other side of the ring, Charlotte O’Neal has made a miraculous recovery and is doing jumping jacks while mocking the crowd.
Back in the ring, Tiger Mask Red has TNA in the corner and is delivering a series of European uppercuts and chops. He pulls the ant out of the corner and tosses him overhead with a belly-to-belly suplex. Charlotte is up on the apron now and begging for a tag. Tiger does so and Charlotte scrambles into the ring and starts kicking TNA in the side. She stops to taunt the fans again with a few jumping jacks and then goes for another kick. TNA grabs hold of her foot and she falls on her butt. Even though he has a hold of her foot, she’s close enough to get the tag to her husband, who comes and drops a knee on the back of the ant’s head. He rolls him onto his back, puts a foot on his face and does a spinning face wash. He tags his wife back into the match and gives TNA a backbreaker and holds him there while she climbs to the second rope and jumps off with a knee drop. She goes for the pin.
1…
2..
True North Ant almost throws her off of him and she immediately tags Tiger Mask Red back into the match. He drops an elbow on TNA and wraps him up in a headlock.
Meanwhile outside the ring Philly Cheese Snake is slowly getting to his feet. Brute Smith starts making his way back over towards him but Darnell slides out of the ring to confront him, ordering him back to the Misfits’ corner. Inside the ring, Tiger takes advantage of the distraction to bring Charlotte into the ring and spread TNA’s legs wide open, so she can drop a knee on his nether regions. The crowd lets out a collective groan. Darnell somehow has missed all this and gets in the ring to admonish Charlotte to leave the ring because he didn’t see a tag.
The fans begin to cheer because Philly has made it up on to this corner on the apron. Meanwhile Tiger Mask Red delivers a vertical suplex and rolls through for a second. He rolls though one more time and lifts TNA straight up and stalls for a moment before dropping him with a brainbuster and goes for the pinfall.
1…
2…
Philly comes in and breaks up the pin, much to the delight of the crowd. The ref warns him about interfering and tries to get him out of the ring. As he’s exiting, Tiger rushes and knocks him to the floor. He then quickly climbs to the top rope and flips off the crowds before leaping off with a Frog Splash. At the last possible second TNA rolls out of the way and Tiger crashes to the mat.
Philly climbs back up to his corner and starts beating on the turnbuckle, willing his partner to make the tag. Both men start crawling to their respective corners. Tiger stops, realizing that Charlotte won’t be much help here and turns back around to try to stop TNA from reaching his corner. Brute charges around the ring to try to stop the tag but as he reaches for him, Philly Cheese Snake jumps over the swipe and kicks the giant in the face, causing him to stumble backwards. TNA is almost at the corner when Tiger grabs him by the foot but the ant rolls over and kicks him in the chest, then rolls back over and leaps for the tag.
The crowd comes alive when the tag is made and Philly Cheese Snake comes charging in the ring. He levels Tiger Mask Red with a clothesline and then another. Tiger gets back to his feet and frantically swings at him but Philly ducks and grabs him in a Cobra Clutch. The former Supremo Champion grabs for the ropes but Philly pulls him back into the middle of the ring. Brute gets up on the apron and Philly lets go of Tiger to confront him. He dares the giant to get in the ring but ducks out of the way just in time for Tiger to run into his bodyguard and knock the big man to the floor. Tiger stumbles backwards into Philly’s waiting arms and before he can react, Philly delivers a Cobra Clutch suplex.
The crowd starts coming unglued! Charlotte comes into the ring to try to help Tiger but Philly gets right up in her face and yells. She screams and runs out of the ring, much to the delight of the crowd. Philly turns back around and grabs Tiger by the foot and calls for the STF. True North Ant is back up on his feet and in his corner. He yells at Philly to make the tag. Philly looks at his partner in confusion, he has the match won. He stands there arguing with his partner for a few seconds, which allows Tiger to get to his feet and pushes Philly into True North Ant. The two bang heads and TNA falls to the floor. Tiger hooks Philly Cheese Snake’s arms from behind; the snake man tries to fight it but is still feeling dazed. Tiger Mask Red hits the Tiger Suplex with a bridge and goes for the pin.
1…
2…
True North Ant tries to get into the ring but Charlotte grabs him by the leg and holds on for dear life.
3…
TNA manages to break free from Charlotte’s grasp but it’s too late. Tiger Red quickly rolls out of the ring and is joined by his wife on the ramp along with Brute. The couple shares a passionate kiss, much to the distain of the crowd and laugh as they make their way back to the locker room. Back in the fans offer Philly Cheese Snake a standing ovation as he slowly gets to his feet. True North Ant appears to apologies to him for what happened at the end of the match and the two hug, much to the delight of the crowd. Philly goes over to the ropes and asks Dr. Scream for a microphone.
“Damn it, people,” he says, “You’re being way too kind to me.”
The crowd starts chanting, “THANK YOU, PHILLY!”
“No thank all of you,” he replies, “It’sss jussst too bad that we couldn’t beat thossse two.”
The crowd starts chants of “FUCK YOU, TIGER! FUCK YOU, CHARLOTTE!” and both members of Strange Brew start laughing.
“You guysss are making thisss anouncsssment way too hard,” Philly says as the chanting dies down, “Asss I’m sure you all sssaw two weeksss ago in Toronto, that giant ssson of a fucking bitch, Brute, chokessslamed me four timesss, with the final one being through a table.”
The crowd starts chanting, “FUCK YOU, BRUTE!”
“I had to be carried out of the ring that night and that led me to do sssee my doctor. Long ssstory short it wasss dissscovered that I have a degenerative ssspinal disorder that wasssn’t previously diagnosssed and I’m going to have to retire.”
The crowd start a warring chant, “THANK YOU, PHILLY! PLEASE DON’T GO!”
True North Ant grabs the mic from his partner.
“Now wait a minute, Phil,” he says, “I get the impression that these crazy people don’t want you to go quite yet! Now, I don’t care what your doctor told you, those Embassy bastards are the real reason why you have to retire and I’ll be damned if I’m going to let them get away with it!
“In three weeks time, Pollomania is going to be in Minneapolis for the Rotisserie Rumble, with the winner becoming the first ever Golden Egg Champion. I know for a fact that Brute Smith and Holly Guacamole are going to be in that match. I think the best way best way for us to get back at every one of them is make sure that they don’t win. So, what do you say, Phil? One more match?”
The crowd starts chanting, “ONE MORE MATCH! ONE MORE MATCH! ONE MORE MATCH!”
Phil grabs the mic back and says, “In the wordsss of a hardcore legend, ‘OH MY BROTHER, TESSSSTIFY!”
The crowd pops loudly for the reference. Strange Brew hugs again as starts Takin' Care of Business playing again and the pair makes their way to the locker room.
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Post by ISM Office on Mar 23, 2016 18:57:35 GMT
"Where The Devil Don't Stay" hits the PA to very much of a mixed reaction from the Pollomania faithful. The entrance egg cracks open and El Proscrito walks out, his sights set on the ground as he refuses to look into the eyes of the fans he let down. He grabs a microphone at ringside and climbs through the ropes into the ring.
EL PROSCRITO I am sorry... I failed you.
The fans are silent in surprise, listening to the unedited voice of El Proscrito, or rather the man behind the mask.
EL PROSCRITO When I started wrestling again, I thought this would be a good idea. A fresh start, a new face... but it just does not work.
He slowly reaches to the back of his head with his left hand.
EL PROSCRITO I've never been a man who hides his face. So I guess the best thing I can do is no longer hide. To be... myself.
The Saint of Killers rips his mask off and throws it on the ground. The fans gasp in unison, seeing the man they've loathed for the entirety of his career in Lucha Libre - Marco Casas, the man who destroyed lifes of many. After a silent moment, several members of audience start to boo as Casas falls on his knees and crosses himself. He mouths "I'm sorry" to the camera before exiting the ring, leaving the mask on the canvas. "The Devil Don't Stay" reprises as the man known as The Unholy walks back to the backstage area, once again his head hung low, eventhough several of the fans start applauding him. His music dies out as he disappears into the entrance egg.
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Post by ISM Office on Mar 23, 2016 19:02:21 GMT
DR. SCREAM: THIS CONTEST IS TO BE FOUGHT OVER A FIFTEEN MINUTE TIME LIMIT WITH A SINGLE FALL, SINGLE SUBMISSION OR KNOCKOUT TO DECIDE THE WINNER! INTRODUCING IN THE RED CORNER... AT A COMBINED WEIGHT OF A LOT - OWL MAN AND JASON ORION, CONSTELLATION OWLSOME!# SHORT PEOPLE GOT # # NO REASON # # SHORT PEOPLE GOT # # NO REASON # # SHORT PEOPLE GOT # # NO REASON TO LIVE # Randy Newman's jaunty little ditty begins playing and a young man with long brown hair tied into a ponytail emerges through the giant entrance egg, arms held aloft. The short but sweet wrestler waits for Owl Man to emerge then the pairing begins to walk down to the ring, slapping every hand in sight. Once at ringside, he vaults onto the apron, then over the ropes, landing square in the centre of the mat. Owl Man tries it and almost makes it, but catches his foot on the rope and face plants in the ring. Orion helps him up, then begins to limber up, hopping in place before the duo offer Team HERO each handshakes! BASTIAN KRULL: Much like the Adult Entertainment Xpress earlier, HERO cannot win the Grand Prix but they can prevent Constellation Owlsome from being in the decision match between Zar--well, maybe Zargnax and the Misfits. MANDARIN: In the immortal words of the honourable Justin Partial - they cannot win, but they can be a spoiler! The bright lights come back from underneath the ring and knock out our feed! The feed returns! BASTIAN KRULL: The action continued in the ring, but our feed was knocked out by whatever that was! We apologize! Team HERO has been trying to isolate the Owl Man, but he's been fighting valiantly and refusing to stay down! MANDARIN: If he does tag in El Vai--"JASON ORION" then there will not be anything left for Orion to tag with on April 13th!Owl Man surprisingly pulls off an enzuigiri on Marksman, and tags in Orion who leaps onto the top rope and dropkicks Marksman to the mat. Sentinel gets in, but Orion ducks his lariat attempt and springboards off the second rope, moonsaulting onto him! Sentinel catches him though! He turns around looking to deliver a powerslam but Owl Man spears him! Orion lands safely on his feet and nails a beautiful shooting star press that looks strangely like the one El Vainillo does to people! Orion climbs the turnbuckles and is about to leap onto Marksman, but sees Sentinel running across the apron and takes him out with a flying forearm smash! Owl Man has also rolled out to the floor so there is no definitive legal man! Pollo trips over Marksman trying to keep up with the action, so Owl Man checks on him to see if he's OK. Orion gets up on the outside and is about to climb into the ring when THWACK! A sucker punch comes flying in from the crowd! CHARLOTTE O'NEAL! Whatever she used to hit Areano two weeks ago just knocked out Orion! Tiger Mask Red hops over the barrier and rolls him into the ring on top of Marksman?! Owl Man backs off at Pollo's request as he makes the count! 1... ... 2... ... 3! BASTIAN KRULL: Constellation Owlsome win!Owl Man is the only man standing in the ring when he notices all four members of the Canadian Embassy Misfits surrounding him. He backs into the a corner and fights them off as best he can, but the numbers game grows to be too much. Red stomps a mudhole in him and then picks up Orion and delivers a Tiger driver! He asks Charlotte for something out of her bag and she produces an El Vainillo mask! He puts it over Orion's face and screams into the camera about this man being a fake, a phony, a liar... and a deadman "for what he tried to do to my wife!". O'Neal rips the mask off Orion in a pretty symbolic gesture. MANDARIN: Oh my! Things are really heating up!The Embassy leaves Owl and Orion behind to 'celebrate' their win that lands them in the three way dance final. BASTIAN KRULL: You think think Tiger Mask Red putting Jason Orion on top of Marksman to win the match was a bit curious as I initially did, but when you think about it - it makes plenty of sense!MANDARIN: Certainly! If you have a big title match against someone you think is pulling double duty as another persona then why would you not get him in that match! Two teams get the chance to soften him up before you get him in the two out of three falls match!
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Post by ISM Office on Mar 23, 2016 19:47:02 GMT
DR. SCREAM: THIS MAIN EVENT CONTEST IS TO BE FOUGHT TO A SINGLE FALL, SINGLE SUBMISSION OR KNOCKOUT WITH A FIFTEEN MINUTE TIME LIMIT! INTRODUCING FIRST FROM THE CONFECTIONERY AISLE! HE WEIGHS IN AT ONE HUNDRED AND FIFTY POUNDS... EL VAINILLO!
'Ole' by the Bouncing Souls starts playing on the PA system, as the man known as El Vainillo comes through the egg, his arms raised to the crowd. He seems to be doing his best to conduct business as normally, but seems to be a little off. El Vainillo rubs his head with both hands then explodes into a clap-along to the beat of the song, encouraging the crowd to join in! He hops into the ring and waits.
DR. SCREAM: HIS OPPONENT! FROM SANTA MONICA! WEIGHING TWO HUNDRED POUNDS EVEN! ACCOMPANIED TO THE RING BY VAUGHN RONIE, JR! D.C. WILAND!
As we hear the slow intro of "Almost Famous", the entrance egg cracks open and a cloud of steam comes out of it. The sign "DEEZY TAUGHT ME" appears on both entrance screens as the chorus drops.
"Young with too much cash, watch how I came up fast They say I'm next to get it, they bring your name up last And while I made it splash, rappers came and passed But still I ask myself: HOW LONG DOES FAMOUS LAST?"
The beats gets heavy with the final line of the chorus and Vaughn Ronie Jr makes his way out, but there is no sign at all of D.C. Wiland!
DR. SCREAM: uhh... D.C. WILAND!
Still nothing, until...
The quick piano of "Amazing Plan" fills the arena as "Ye Olde School" Franklin Wiland Jr. walks out of the entrance egg.
VAUGHN RONIE JR: LADIES AND GENTLEMEN! CHILDREN OF ALL AGES! I PRESENT TO YOU THE MAN FROM WAY BACK WHEN! STANDING AT A MONSTERIOUS SEVEN FEET TALL AND A FRIGHTENING FOUR HUNDRED POUNDS! HE ONCE PUNCHED A BAG OF COAL AND TURNED INTO DIAMONDS! HE DOES LOOK GIFT HOSES IN THE MOUTH! HE IS 4-0 AGAINST BEARS! THIS IS "YE OLDE SCOOL" FRANKLIN WILAND, JR!
He rubs mustache wax into his fake 'stache before walking towards the ring, head held high. He gives his tube of mustache wax to the timekeeper, then climbs onto the apron, where he dusts off his boots and finally enters the ring through the ropes. He walks to the very center of the ring, where he takes a bow to each of the four sides of the ring before moving to one of the corners, where he does squats do warm up before the match.
BASTIAN KRULL: What is this?
MANDARIN: Maybe the man just wants to pay tribute to the likes of Dory Funk, Jack Brisco and Bob Backlund!
The bell sounds and Wiland offers his hand to Vainillo, who doesn't accept the handshake from the man who just two weeks prior ruined a perfectly good cake (oh, and beat him up too). Wiland shrugs and continues squatting while Vainillo looks at Smalltooth Jones a bit confused. Jones shrugs and since it is a street fight, Vainillo grabs him and sends him flying into the corner head-first and begins smashing his head off the turnbuckle! He elbows Vainillo in the gut to stop the attack causing the masked man to turn around in pain. Wiland scoops him and atomic drops him! Vainillo grabs his butt in pain and turns around into a chop that elicits a WOO from the Philly crowd. He does a few more and backs Vainillo right up into the corner before switching to several jabs to the gut! Wiland tries to start squatting between jabs, but Vainillo catches him with a knee lift that sends him coughing and staggering into the middle of the ring. Vainillo rushes out and hurracanranas Wiland to the mat! Wiland rolls out to the floor as VRJ attempts to cool him down with a towel!
MANDARIN: I quite like this old timey Wiland!
El Vainillo is about to embark on an aerial adventure when Wiland pulls up a weapon - a giant stop sign! He holds it in place as Vainillo complies, looking around confused. Wiland drops the sign without using it and slides back into the ring. Vainillo stomps him as he tries to get to his feet, then backs him into the ropes. He shoots him off and takes him down with the sling blade! He tries to follow up with a shooting star press that looks eerily similar to the one Jason Orion did earlier, but Wiland rolls out of the way! Vainillo lands on his stomach and Wiland wastes no time at all dropping elbows across the small of his back! Finally, Wiland drags Vainillo to his feet and looks to be going for a piledriver! Vainillo backdrops him and holds the bridge for a pin!
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2...
...
Wiland powers up and turns the bridge over and pulls Vainillo in again for a piledriver, but Vainillo back drops him! He waits for Wiland to get to his knees before hitting the ropes, but after he rebounds off - he eats an inverted atomic drop! He hops in place then gets kicked in the gut before Wiland suplexes him to the mat and yells SOU-PLAY just as the late great Gordon Solie would call it. Wiland covers!
MANDARIN: Only two!
BASTIAN KRULL: So far neither man has made good on the legal use of weapons in this street fight.
MANDARIN: Oh, but neither man wants anything to do with the weapons! They wish to wrestle! So, it seems Tiger Mask Red's plan to have them beat the organisms out of each other with weapons did not quite come to fruition!
BASTIAN KRULL: Maybe not, but this is still a great way to soften up a champion ahead of the championship bout in three weeks time. Tiger offered Wiland a deal - "soften him up and you'll get a title shot when I win" but whether he makes good on that is another story!
Wiland grabs his right wrist, and forms a claw with his right hand - showing it off to all of the Philadelphia fans. He holds it up high and then brings it down low, applying the claw to Vainillo's stomach as he lays on the ground! Vainillo writhes in pain, kicking his legs out and reaching for the ropes. Wiland releases the hold, but applies it again! Vainillo kicks him in the head not once, but twice and sends the rudo tumbling backwards. Vainillo rolls to his feet and clocks Wiland with a superkick! He falls back into the corner and Vainillo climbs onto the second rope and begins punching away!
UNO! DOS! TRES! CUATRO! CINCO! SEIS! SIETE! OCHO! NUEVE! DIEZ!
Vainillo drops down and then monkey flips Wiland across the ring! Vainillo rolls out to the apron and stands up, waiting for Wiland to rise to his feet and when he does... the Vanilla one slingshots himself over the ropes and flies into the ring looking for a crossbody...
BASTIAN KRULL: Stomach claw!
Wiland applies the claw on Vanillo before he even lands and and forces the Supremo champion back to the mat. Vainillo kicks him again, sending him out of the ring onto the ramp. Wiland marches down the ramp stairs and grabs a steel chair from the announce booth before sliding back into the ring. He raises the chair and lines up his shot... but instead of swinging, he unfolds it and sits down in it and continues applying the claw hold! Vainillo tries to kick him again, but the added height proves problematic so Vainillo wiggles his way across the mat and lets his body fall to the floor outside the ring forcing Wiland to let go or fall with him.
MANDARIN: A very wise move on El Vainillo's behalf!
Wiland rolls out after him and eats a punch to the gut, Vainillo leaps onto the guardrail and impressively changes direction - looking for a flying forearm smash - but Wiland side steps and directs him into the ring apron! Vainillo hits hard and Wiland grabs him up and throws him over the announce table! The fans begin a loud "VAI-NI-LO!" chant as Wiland pulls Vainillo back up to his feet and throws him back inside the ring. He gets inside and scoops him up in a front facelock. He hoists the Champion up and holds him there... yelling SOO-PLAY repeatedly as he continues to hold Vainillo upside down. Letting all of the blood rush to his head... finally Wiland brings him down in a hurry! Instead of covering him, Wiland goes for the chair... setting it up next to Vainillo! He sits in it again and applies a top wristlock to many boos from the Philly crowd! The crowd roars for Vainillo to fight back up to his feet and with the crowd's support, he slowly does just that. He punches Wiland in the gut once, then twice and then a third time! Wiland falls against the ropes, and Vainillo quickly gets up and shoots him off! Vainillo doubles over in anticipation, but Wiland turns it in a side Russian leg sweep! COVER!
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2...
KICKOUT!
Vainillo retreats to the corner where Wiland puts the boot to Vainillo's throat and chokes him! Jones has to stand by and do nothing as there's no DQ in this match! Wiland marches back into the middle of the ring, fixing his fake moustache before taunting the crowd. He runs back into the corner when he sees Vainillo getting up, but eats a superkick for his troubles! He falls down, but dazed and confused stumbles back up to his feet. Vainillo rushes out with a big boot in mind, but Wiland dodges it! Vainillo turns around... BODYSLAM! Wiland gets up... fist drop... nobody home! He gets up, tries it again to the same result. Vainillo goes for the big boot again, but Wiland catches it! Vainillo hops in place before delivering a big enzuigiri! Wiland stumbles back into the ropes and Vainillo scrambles to his feet, grabbing him in a cravate! He tries to leap up for the Vanilla Swirl, but Wiland pushes him forward, but hangs onto his wrist! BLACK ELEGY LAR-NO! EV ducks it, leaps onto the apron and waits for Wiland to turn around. When he does, Vainillo kicks him! Wiland stumbles back into the middle of the ring, almost falling over the chair! Vainillo soars through the air with the 720 corkscrew plancha!
BASTIAN KRULL: Who says humans can't fly, Mandarin!? Our Supremo Champion making a strong case for it!
VRJ is trying to get Wiland to his feet, Vainillo tries getting up, but VRJ grabs his foot! Vainillo tugs, tugs, tugs and eventually resorts to kicking him! VRJ falls to the ground as Wiland moves the chair aside (having used it to help him to his feet). Vainillo sees him coming, rushes past him, hits the ropes and leaps over... FRONT FLIP DDT!
MANDARIN: OH MY DARAMMU!
Unintentionally, the DDT connects on the seat of the set-up steel chair! The crowd erupts in a HOLY SHIT chant as Vainillo doesn't really process what just happened, but rather instinctively rolls Wiland onto his back and drapes an arm over him! Jones counts!
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2...
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3!
The bell sounds as Owl Man comes rushing down to the ring with AEX in tow. Owl Man notices this and stands guard over his friend, but Rottentreats and Divine simply collect Vaughn Ronie Jr and slide into check on their fallen stablemate. Dr. Scream comes in to check on him as well, but it appears Wiland is OK as he's talking and moving his fingers. Tiger Mask Red marches down the ramp with his Embassy Misfits in tow and stops at the ring apron. Owl Man helps Vainillo to his feet and the duo look ready to fight, but Tiger Red simply claps his hands, smirks and then turns around to leave. O'Neal holds up the Vainillo mask that they placed on Orion earlier before she too turns and leaves with her husband.
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Post by ISM Office on Mar 24, 2016 20:47:15 GMT
LET'S GET READY TO RUMBLE!
ROTISSERIE STYLE!
APRIL 13TH IN MINNEAPOLIS!
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