Post by Deleted on Mar 21, 2016 2:23:23 GMT
Cut away from yet another Pollo Bucket commercial, almost as if someone is too lazy to think of a better premise, back to the studio/bunker/van/hole of La Cucaracha. This time La Cucaracha stands in front of a wall that has REGICIDE written in red. Hopefully with paint.
La Cucaracha: Ursula Areano claims to be the Queen of Lucha. What the heck? Are you saying I can't be a queen of lucha libre because I'm Canadian? I'm trying to foster international cooperation here and I will not be insulted. It's bad enough I'm facing a known serial killer who is living corn. And now this?
You're not the only one who eats M&M's, Ursula! Just this week I woke up out of a blackout and you know what I was surrounded by? Candy wrappers! You know what most of those wrappers were for? M&M's! I'm the one who's gonna get that endorsement deal and I'm the one that's gonna be rolling in M&M money when all this is over! If I fish something out of a dumpster, it's MINE!
Sure, this isn't your first rodeo. I'm well aware of your past, and to your credit you didn't spend it butchering innocent people like Cornelius Cobblepot. But everyone knows that when you kill a queen, you get to become the new queen. Obviously, I don't mean that literally, but if I win this match, I WILL be changing my name on Twitter. Twitter might not have any rules about two people having the same name, but I do.
We both know that lucha libre is the best version of wrestling and we both know, in theory, how to execute a hurricanrana. I, however, have a variation called the Racha Rana, and because it has a unique name, that makes it extra-effective!
If you have an actual crown, I want it. I refuse to buy my own. If you don't have a crown and Queen of Lucha is just a nickname, then goddammit. Everyone knows the most dangerous roach is the queen.
My knowledge of vermin is not on trial here. I am coming down off a sugar high and may vomit soon, but I swear to you I will eat nothing but sweets in the six hours leading up to our match. Can you make that promise, Ursula? Do you have that much faith in your own metabolism?
You probably think that with my diet that I should weigh six-hundred pounds. Well YOU'RE the one who should weigh six-hundred pounds! I have mixed Pollo Bucket with every candy on the market into something I like to call SPECIAL MEAL! If this company cared about making money, I would be able to sell it at POLLOMANIA shows and not just out of my van.
My vision is blurring, but don't think that will happen when we face each other, Ursula. I have a keen sense of smell and echolocation! A crown for a queen!
The feed cuts back to Pollo Bucket.
La Cucaracha: Ursula Areano claims to be the Queen of Lucha. What the heck? Are you saying I can't be a queen of lucha libre because I'm Canadian? I'm trying to foster international cooperation here and I will not be insulted. It's bad enough I'm facing a known serial killer who is living corn. And now this?
You're not the only one who eats M&M's, Ursula! Just this week I woke up out of a blackout and you know what I was surrounded by? Candy wrappers! You know what most of those wrappers were for? M&M's! I'm the one who's gonna get that endorsement deal and I'm the one that's gonna be rolling in M&M money when all this is over! If I fish something out of a dumpster, it's MINE!
Sure, this isn't your first rodeo. I'm well aware of your past, and to your credit you didn't spend it butchering innocent people like Cornelius Cobblepot. But everyone knows that when you kill a queen, you get to become the new queen. Obviously, I don't mean that literally, but if I win this match, I WILL be changing my name on Twitter. Twitter might not have any rules about two people having the same name, but I do.
We both know that lucha libre is the best version of wrestling and we both know, in theory, how to execute a hurricanrana. I, however, have a variation called the Racha Rana, and because it has a unique name, that makes it extra-effective!
If you have an actual crown, I want it. I refuse to buy my own. If you don't have a crown and Queen of Lucha is just a nickname, then goddammit. Everyone knows the most dangerous roach is the queen.
My knowledge of vermin is not on trial here. I am coming down off a sugar high and may vomit soon, but I swear to you I will eat nothing but sweets in the six hours leading up to our match. Can you make that promise, Ursula? Do you have that much faith in your own metabolism?
You probably think that with my diet that I should weigh six-hundred pounds. Well YOU'RE the one who should weigh six-hundred pounds! I have mixed Pollo Bucket with every candy on the market into something I like to call SPECIAL MEAL! If this company cared about making money, I would be able to sell it at POLLOMANIA shows and not just out of my van.
My vision is blurring, but don't think that will happen when we face each other, Ursula. I have a keen sense of smell and echolocation! A crown for a queen!
The feed cuts back to Pollo Bucket.