Post by Deleted on Mar 18, 2016 11:15:40 GMT
OFF-CAMERA
‘Lyndz…?’
‘...hrrrnn?’
‘…can I ask you something?’
‘It’s a nice size, Walter. Nothing to worry about.’
It takes a moment for her comment to register; then, I laugh.
‘No, no, it’s something else!’
She rolls over, pushes herself up on one elbow, stares at me. ‘What?’
‘Lyndz...’ Suddenly, I’m not so sure asking her is such a good idea. What if she confirms my fears?
But I have to do it. I have to know.
‘Lyndz’, I repeat, forcing the words out, ‘do you think I’m a loser?’
For a moment afterwards, she just looks at me, and my heart stops. This is it. She’s going to say what I was afraid she would.
But she doesn’t.
Instead, she rolls her eyes and huffs impatiently.
’Again with this, Walter? Are you going to be like this every time you lose a match?’
‘Not every time.’ I sit up a little straighter, and the bed creaks. ‘It’s just, I’ve lost two in a row on my own, and…well…I’m thinking maybe I can’t win without Jason there to help me…’
Lyndsey sighs. When she speaks again, her tone is kinder.
’Walter…listen. You’re not a loser. I know what a loser is, and you’re not one. Okay?’
‘You’re just saying that’, I mumble.
‘No, I’m not. I know losers. Like my ex-boyfriend. Now there's a certified, Grade-A loser. A guy who’s done nothing with his life and doesn’t even want to try. You? You try, Walter. You try your hardest. When you fail, it’s ‘cause you just couldn’t do any better. You just fall short. It happens. Doesn’t make you a loser. Just a…a guy who doesn’t always win.’
This is the first I've heard about an ex-boyfriend. I suddenly feel a pang of jealousy, even while Lyndsey’s telling me how much better I am than him. I try my best to hide it, but – as usual – my best isn’t quite good enough.
‘Oh, Walter…! There’s nothing to worry about! Me and Mark are history. I don’t usually hang around jerk-offs who broke my heart.’ She smiles. ‘And you know what? I think I upgraded. Mark had nothing in there…or in there.’ She points at my head, then my heart. ‘You may not have a lot up there…but you got a lot in there.’
‘Gee, thanks, Lyndz.’ I try to sound angry, but my grin gives me away.
‘Besides’, she adds, burrowing against me. ‘I like the extra padding.’
That is the last thing either of us says - a few moments later, Lyndsey is fast asleep again, with my arm around her shoulder. I lie awake a little longer, staring at the ceiling, but the feelings inside me are different now. I’m no longer nervous, or anxious; now I’m calm, peaceful and happy. Happy that I have a loving, supporting girlfriend who just gave me the best night of my life, and who doesn’t think I’m a loser.
In fact, she thinks I’m a nice size.
Final Word Count: 497
Final Word Count: 497