Canadian Embassy Misfits Press Conference in Toronto
Mar 11, 2016 18:38:28 GMT
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Post by Buck U Productions on Mar 11, 2016 18:38:28 GMT
*Recorded earlier today: A news conference is called in Toronto, Ontario, Canada’s Pollo Hall. Angus Stewart walks out, accompanied by all the members of the Canadian Embassy Misfits.*
“Good morning, ladies and gentlemen. As I’m sure many of you are aware by now, my name is Angus Stewart, the press secretary for the Canadian Embassy Misfits. We have asked you all here so we can make a statement on Wednesday night’s Pollomania event, “Great Canadian Freeze”.
“First of all, on behalf of everyone at the Embassy, we would like to thank the fine city of Toronto. Much like two weeks ago in Montreal, the people of this fine city received us so warmly during our time here. I said it in Montreal and I will say it again, Canada truly does have the greatest wrestling fans in the world. Hopefully Pollomania is wise enough to return to Canada soon because you have proven how well you support this company, not to mention sold out all their merchandise. After seeing how little merchandise Pollomania supplied for the show in Montreal, The Misfits took it upon themselves to bring their own licensed products to insure that didn’t happen again here. Once more, a huge thank you to the cities of Montreal and Toronto and to all the great fans that came out to support the Misfits last night.
“Now, on to Wednesday night’s show. As I’m sure you all sure on Wednesday night, the Canadian Embassy Misfits put on a dominating performance. The future two time Supremo Champion, Tiger Mask Red, proved to the world that he is still the most dominant wrestler in this company by beating a game Owl Man. While Holly Guacamole did not beat Miss Ursula Areano, her performance and the draw finish with an established, international star proved that she is the future of Pollomania, and Agent Brutus Smith showed everyone that he can come out and impose his will on anyone he wishes. Ladies and gentlemen, after what the world witnessed last night on YouTube, is there any question that this trio is on the verge of absolute greatness?
“Moving on now to Pollomania’s next show in two weeks, ‘If You Want Fries (You Got ‘em!)’. Holly Guacamole and Agent Brutus Smith will face Adult Entertainment Xchange, with their manager, Vaughn Ronie Jr., in the last match for both teams in the Twin Egg Championship Tag Grand Prix. If Holly and Agent Smith win, they will tie the make shift team of Zargnax and Corinthian, now calling themselves “Starship Licentious”, for first place. As well that night, leading up to their Supremo Championship match at May 13th’s Rotisserie Rumble, AIPollo has permitted Tiger Mask Red and El Vainillo to name each other’s opponents for the show in Philadelphia. Tiger Mask Red has decided that the current Supremo Champion will face Mr. D.C. Wilands in a Philadelphia Street Fight; meanwhile El Vainillo has put Tiger Mask Red in a tag team match with Strange Brew, and has chosen our very own, Charlotte O’Neal to be his partner. We at the Embassy have grievances with Pollomania over this decision, Ms. O’Neal is a licensed manager and a staff member of the Canadian Embassy in Mexico, and she is not a wrestler. None the less, it appears that this decision will stand.
“Now then, we have time for a few brief questions. (Reporter hands rise in the air) Yes?”
“Nest Freemark of the Toronto Sun, this question is addressed to Tiger Mask Red. We understand that part of the reason why this press conference was postponed was because you went for emergency dental surgery to repair the damage done when Owl Man kicked two of your teeth out. Can you give us an update on your condition?”
Tiger takes the microphone, “I’m doing as well as can be expected. I will not miss any of my upcoming obligations; however, I have been advised by the dentist who did the procedure that I am to wear a mouth guard for all my matches in foreseeable future. This will not slow me down and I promise all of you that when I win the Supremo championship back in five weeks I will do a cross country tour of Canada with it to thank all of my Canadian fans for their support. Thank you.”
Angus Stewart takes the podium as reporters call out more questions and Tiger Mask Red steps down, “Sorry ladies and gentlemen, but Tiger mask Red cannot take any more questions, on doctor’s orders. Would anyone like to ask anyone else a question?”
A reporter raises his hand and upon being pointed to, begins speaking, “John Ross of the Guelph Gazette, this question is addressed to Ms. Holly Guacamole. First off, welcome home, I know that the whole city of Guelph was excited by your return. My question is, how do you feel about your match with Ursula Areano on Wednesday and will you give her another match in the near future?”
“First off, thank you so much,” Holly begins, “It’s been great to come back to Ontario and to see our friends and family here. To answer your question though, I’ll give that chick, Ursula, credit, she a one tough lady. I would love to give her another match, once she earns it. See, the way I look at it, Brute and I are going to become the first ever Pollomania Twin Egg Champs in Minneapolis, so I don’t have time for that bitch unless she finds herself a tag team partner.”
Angus rushes up to the podium and whispers something to her. He appears to be admonishing her about her language when a hand rises and the reporter asks his question without being called on.
“Farley Gill of WrestlingNewsNow.com, this question is addressed to Brutus Smith. In your own words can you explain why you chose to attack Strange Brew before their match on Wednesday?”
“Excuse me,” Charlotte O’Neal intervenes, “Brute doesn’t have to answer that question. I’ve read the articles you write for that so-called “wrestling” website. You’re as much a journalist as those two clown at “The Capt Fizz and Masked Guy Show”, who keep trying to get us on their podcast. Having said that, since I’m sure legitimate journalists in attendance are probably would like an answer for that question as well, I will tell you this much. In the week leading up to ‘Great Canadian Freeze’, Brute attempted on several occasions to challenge Strange Brew to a handicap match, however, True North Ant and Philly Cheese Snake ignored all correspondence from him. So when he saw that they were scheduled to face a couple of ‘geeks’, he decided to come out and place himself in that match. Who were we to try to stop him? He’s seven feet tall and over four hundred pounds, Brutus Smith can do whatever he wants, to whomever he wishes. End of discussion.”
“Ok then,” Farley McGill calls out, not fazed by the insults, “How do you feel about making your wrestling debut in Philadelphia?”
Charlotte stares daggers at him but before she can say anything, Tiger Mask Red whispers something to Angus Stewart, who then gently moves her out of the way into her husband’s arms and takes the microphone.
“I’m sorry ladies and gentlemen, but that all the time we have for questions today. Tiger Mask Red has informed me that his travel schedule has been recently updated and sadly, he and Ms. O’Neal must leave to catch their flight for an obligation in Dallas, Texas. Thank you all for coming and have a great day!”
He ushers the Misfits out, while the reporters call out questions and a few throw Farley McGill frustrated looks.
*The feed ends and screen fades to black.*
“Good morning, ladies and gentlemen. As I’m sure many of you are aware by now, my name is Angus Stewart, the press secretary for the Canadian Embassy Misfits. We have asked you all here so we can make a statement on Wednesday night’s Pollomania event, “Great Canadian Freeze”.
“First of all, on behalf of everyone at the Embassy, we would like to thank the fine city of Toronto. Much like two weeks ago in Montreal, the people of this fine city received us so warmly during our time here. I said it in Montreal and I will say it again, Canada truly does have the greatest wrestling fans in the world. Hopefully Pollomania is wise enough to return to Canada soon because you have proven how well you support this company, not to mention sold out all their merchandise. After seeing how little merchandise Pollomania supplied for the show in Montreal, The Misfits took it upon themselves to bring their own licensed products to insure that didn’t happen again here. Once more, a huge thank you to the cities of Montreal and Toronto and to all the great fans that came out to support the Misfits last night.
“Now, on to Wednesday night’s show. As I’m sure you all sure on Wednesday night, the Canadian Embassy Misfits put on a dominating performance. The future two time Supremo Champion, Tiger Mask Red, proved to the world that he is still the most dominant wrestler in this company by beating a game Owl Man. While Holly Guacamole did not beat Miss Ursula Areano, her performance and the draw finish with an established, international star proved that she is the future of Pollomania, and Agent Brutus Smith showed everyone that he can come out and impose his will on anyone he wishes. Ladies and gentlemen, after what the world witnessed last night on YouTube, is there any question that this trio is on the verge of absolute greatness?
“Moving on now to Pollomania’s next show in two weeks, ‘If You Want Fries (You Got ‘em!)’. Holly Guacamole and Agent Brutus Smith will face Adult Entertainment Xchange, with their manager, Vaughn Ronie Jr., in the last match for both teams in the Twin Egg Championship Tag Grand Prix. If Holly and Agent Smith win, they will tie the make shift team of Zargnax and Corinthian, now calling themselves “Starship Licentious”, for first place. As well that night, leading up to their Supremo Championship match at May 13th’s Rotisserie Rumble, AIPollo has permitted Tiger Mask Red and El Vainillo to name each other’s opponents for the show in Philadelphia. Tiger Mask Red has decided that the current Supremo Champion will face Mr. D.C. Wilands in a Philadelphia Street Fight; meanwhile El Vainillo has put Tiger Mask Red in a tag team match with Strange Brew, and has chosen our very own, Charlotte O’Neal to be his partner. We at the Embassy have grievances with Pollomania over this decision, Ms. O’Neal is a licensed manager and a staff member of the Canadian Embassy in Mexico, and she is not a wrestler. None the less, it appears that this decision will stand.
“Now then, we have time for a few brief questions. (Reporter hands rise in the air) Yes?”
“Nest Freemark of the Toronto Sun, this question is addressed to Tiger Mask Red. We understand that part of the reason why this press conference was postponed was because you went for emergency dental surgery to repair the damage done when Owl Man kicked two of your teeth out. Can you give us an update on your condition?”
Tiger takes the microphone, “I’m doing as well as can be expected. I will not miss any of my upcoming obligations; however, I have been advised by the dentist who did the procedure that I am to wear a mouth guard for all my matches in foreseeable future. This will not slow me down and I promise all of you that when I win the Supremo championship back in five weeks I will do a cross country tour of Canada with it to thank all of my Canadian fans for their support. Thank you.”
Angus Stewart takes the podium as reporters call out more questions and Tiger Mask Red steps down, “Sorry ladies and gentlemen, but Tiger mask Red cannot take any more questions, on doctor’s orders. Would anyone like to ask anyone else a question?”
A reporter raises his hand and upon being pointed to, begins speaking, “John Ross of the Guelph Gazette, this question is addressed to Ms. Holly Guacamole. First off, welcome home, I know that the whole city of Guelph was excited by your return. My question is, how do you feel about your match with Ursula Areano on Wednesday and will you give her another match in the near future?”
“First off, thank you so much,” Holly begins, “It’s been great to come back to Ontario and to see our friends and family here. To answer your question though, I’ll give that chick, Ursula, credit, she a one tough lady. I would love to give her another match, once she earns it. See, the way I look at it, Brute and I are going to become the first ever Pollomania Twin Egg Champs in Minneapolis, so I don’t have time for that bitch unless she finds herself a tag team partner.”
Angus rushes up to the podium and whispers something to her. He appears to be admonishing her about her language when a hand rises and the reporter asks his question without being called on.
“Farley Gill of WrestlingNewsNow.com, this question is addressed to Brutus Smith. In your own words can you explain why you chose to attack Strange Brew before their match on Wednesday?”
“Excuse me,” Charlotte O’Neal intervenes, “Brute doesn’t have to answer that question. I’ve read the articles you write for that so-called “wrestling” website. You’re as much a journalist as those two clown at “The Capt Fizz and Masked Guy Show”, who keep trying to get us on their podcast. Having said that, since I’m sure legitimate journalists in attendance are probably would like an answer for that question as well, I will tell you this much. In the week leading up to ‘Great Canadian Freeze’, Brute attempted on several occasions to challenge Strange Brew to a handicap match, however, True North Ant and Philly Cheese Snake ignored all correspondence from him. So when he saw that they were scheduled to face a couple of ‘geeks’, he decided to come out and place himself in that match. Who were we to try to stop him? He’s seven feet tall and over four hundred pounds, Brutus Smith can do whatever he wants, to whomever he wishes. End of discussion.”
“Ok then,” Farley McGill calls out, not fazed by the insults, “How do you feel about making your wrestling debut in Philadelphia?”
Charlotte stares daggers at him but before she can say anything, Tiger Mask Red whispers something to Angus Stewart, who then gently moves her out of the way into her husband’s arms and takes the microphone.
“I’m sorry ladies and gentlemen, but that all the time we have for questions today. Tiger Mask Red has informed me that his travel schedule has been recently updated and sadly, he and Ms. O’Neal must leave to catch their flight for an obligation in Dallas, Texas. Thank you all for coming and have a great day!”
He ushers the Misfits out, while the reporters call out questions and a few throw Farley McGill frustrated looks.
*The feed ends and screen fades to black.*