Post by Buck U Productions on Feb 24, 2016 21:01:39 GMT
A bit longer than I originally intended but oh well.
*A news conference is called in Montreal, Québec, Canada’s Pollo Hall. A man in a suit and glasses walks out, accompanied by Holly Guacamole and Agent Brutus Smith.*
“Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen. My name is Angus Stewart, the newly appointed press secretary for the Canadian Embassy Misfits. We have asked you all here so we can make a statement on last night’s Pollomania event, “Poutines and Planchas”.
“First of all, on behalf of everyone at the Embassy, we would like to thank the fine city of Montréal for receiving us so warmly during our time here. Canada truly does have the greatest wrestling fans in the world. Unfortunately, as the whole world saw, in front of his family, friends and countrymen, Tiger Mask Red lost the Supremo Championship in a highly competitive match with El Vainillo. Now Tiger mask Red and Ms. Charlotte O’Neal were unable to appear here today, as they had to catch a late night flight to Dallas, Texas, to attend to some non-Embassy business. However, before they left, the First Couple of Pollomania made this video for all of you…”
*A video of showing Tiger Mask Red and Charlotte O’Neal appears on a large screen next to the stage.*
“Hello everyone in Montréal,” Tiger Mask Red says, “Sorry we can’t be there in person but I’ve got some stuff to deal with in Dallas. (He lets out a long sigh before continuing) First off, I would like to apologize to all my friends and family for letting you down, I felt confident walking into my match with El Vainillo and I walked away the loser. If this had happened in any other city, I would just brush it off and carry on, but for it to happen in Montréal… There’s just no excuse.
“El Vainillo, I want to hand it to you. After the beating you took at the hands of my teammates I’m surprised that you managed to even make it to the ring, let alone beat me. That being said, don’t get too comfortable wearing my property. I am invoking my return match clause which allows me to name the match, place and time. So on April 13th in Minneapolis, Minnesota, at “The Rotisserie Rumble”, you and I are going to go at it one more time, but this will be a Two Out of Three Falls Match. You’ve managed to beat me twice, I want to prove to the world that I can do likewise and when I do I will become the first ever two time Pollomania Supremo Champion.
“El Vainillo, Pollomania, Montréal, Charlie and I will all see you again soon.”
*The screen goes black and Angus Stewart begins speaking again.*
“There you have it, ladies and gentlemen, as the once and future Supremo champion said himself, the rematch will take place on April 13th in Minneapolis, but speaking of the interim champion, El Vainillo, we at the Embassy hold issue with his further involvement in the Tag Grand Prix. If you recall back in October of last year, Tiger Mask Red was stripped of the Scramble Championship upon winning the Supremo Championship because AIPollo stated that no wrestler was allowed to hold both championships. Based off that president El Vainillo, now that he is Supremo Champion, should not be allowed to further compete in the round robin tournament for the Tag Team Titles because he would be forced to immediately vacate said title. We have already filed a protest with AIPollo to have Masked Justice removed from the Grand Prix and forced to forfeit their remaining matches.
“This brings us to sad case of Starship Insanity. As all of you probably saw last night, Mr. Crazy became a victim of whatever creature lurks beneath the ring. This menace must be stopped and we are asking Pollomania to double its efforts to remove this entity. Otherwise the Canadian Embassy will file a formal complaint with the Health and Safety departments of the governments of every country that houses any of Pollomania’s ‘halls’. The Canadian Ambassador to Mexico has already brought up his concerns with our country’s Prime Minister, who has promised to push laws through Parliament to prevent Pollomania from putting their show on in Toronto, or any further shows in Canada for that matter, unless actions are taken to insure this creature, or whatever it is, does not harm anyone else.
“Sadly, these changes come too late for Mr. Crazy, who barring an act of God is gone. Unfortunately this leaves Zargnax without a partner, which means that he can no longer compete in the Grand Prix and much like Masked Justice, must forfeit the remainder of his match. Which means that when the Embassy faces off with Adult Entertainment Express at “If You Want Fries” on March 23th in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, that their match should be to determine who the first ever Pollomania Tag Team Champions. We call on Zargnax to do that right thing and formally announce he’s departing the Grand Prix.
“Now we have time for just a few questions from the press before we must depart. Yes, you.”
“Jamie McIntyre on the Montreal Gazette. Can we expect Tiger Mask Red to appear at Pollomania’s next show, “The Great Canadian Freeze”, in Toronto?”
“Yes, Tiger Mask Red will in fact be in Toronto, Ontario on March 9th. He has authorized me to inform you all that he is making an open challenge to any member of the roster to a match, both “villains” and “heroes”. He wants to prove to the world that despite his lost last night, that he is still the greatest wrestler in Pollomania. Next question. Yes?”
“Kye Spence of the Toronto Sun. This question is addressed to Holly Guacamole. We understand that you’ve recently taken exception to the comments of one Ursula Areano. Care to elaborate?”
Holly shoves Angus Stewart aside and grabs the mic, “Yeah that bitch has been going around here claiming that she’s the only woman wrestling in Pollomania. I hope she was watching last night because I won the biggest match of my life when I made Vanilla Breath pass out to the Sharpshooter, because I proved that I’m more than just a pretty face! So Ursula, I know you’re going to see this. I’m call you hope, Honey. You and me in Toronto in two weeks at “The Great Canadian Freeze”. I am the dominate woman in Pollomania. If you think you can beat me, why don’t you step up to the plate and try to beat me.”
Angus manages to wrest the mic away from Holly as calmly as he can before she humiliates herself.
“I think we have time for one more question. Yes, you?”
“Farley McGill of WrestlingNewsNow.com. This question is addressed to Brutus Smith. Recently rumors have circulated that your speech impediment is an act and you can in fact articulate yourself extremely well. This is your opportunity to set the record straight.”
Brute approaches the mic and clears his throat. The reporters and fans in attendance wait with fainted breath at his response.”
“I am Brute.”
The whole room erupts with laughter. Farley McGill sits back down, somewhat embarrassed at Brute’s response but clearly not convinced.
“Ladies and gentlemen,” Angus Stewart announces as the laughter fades, “Thank you so much for attended. That will be it for today, no more questions.”
The reporters yell out questions as Stewart ushers Brute and Holly from the room and the feed to the press conference fades to black.
*A news conference is called in Montreal, Québec, Canada’s Pollo Hall. A man in a suit and glasses walks out, accompanied by Holly Guacamole and Agent Brutus Smith.*
“Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen. My name is Angus Stewart, the newly appointed press secretary for the Canadian Embassy Misfits. We have asked you all here so we can make a statement on last night’s Pollomania event, “Poutines and Planchas”.
“First of all, on behalf of everyone at the Embassy, we would like to thank the fine city of Montréal for receiving us so warmly during our time here. Canada truly does have the greatest wrestling fans in the world. Unfortunately, as the whole world saw, in front of his family, friends and countrymen, Tiger Mask Red lost the Supremo Championship in a highly competitive match with El Vainillo. Now Tiger mask Red and Ms. Charlotte O’Neal were unable to appear here today, as they had to catch a late night flight to Dallas, Texas, to attend to some non-Embassy business. However, before they left, the First Couple of Pollomania made this video for all of you…”
*A video of showing Tiger Mask Red and Charlotte O’Neal appears on a large screen next to the stage.*
“Hello everyone in Montréal,” Tiger Mask Red says, “Sorry we can’t be there in person but I’ve got some stuff to deal with in Dallas. (He lets out a long sigh before continuing) First off, I would like to apologize to all my friends and family for letting you down, I felt confident walking into my match with El Vainillo and I walked away the loser. If this had happened in any other city, I would just brush it off and carry on, but for it to happen in Montréal… There’s just no excuse.
“El Vainillo, I want to hand it to you. After the beating you took at the hands of my teammates I’m surprised that you managed to even make it to the ring, let alone beat me. That being said, don’t get too comfortable wearing my property. I am invoking my return match clause which allows me to name the match, place and time. So on April 13th in Minneapolis, Minnesota, at “The Rotisserie Rumble”, you and I are going to go at it one more time, but this will be a Two Out of Three Falls Match. You’ve managed to beat me twice, I want to prove to the world that I can do likewise and when I do I will become the first ever two time Pollomania Supremo Champion.
“El Vainillo, Pollomania, Montréal, Charlie and I will all see you again soon.”
*The screen goes black and Angus Stewart begins speaking again.*
“There you have it, ladies and gentlemen, as the once and future Supremo champion said himself, the rematch will take place on April 13th in Minneapolis, but speaking of the interim champion, El Vainillo, we at the Embassy hold issue with his further involvement in the Tag Grand Prix. If you recall back in October of last year, Tiger Mask Red was stripped of the Scramble Championship upon winning the Supremo Championship because AIPollo stated that no wrestler was allowed to hold both championships. Based off that president El Vainillo, now that he is Supremo Champion, should not be allowed to further compete in the round robin tournament for the Tag Team Titles because he would be forced to immediately vacate said title. We have already filed a protest with AIPollo to have Masked Justice removed from the Grand Prix and forced to forfeit their remaining matches.
“This brings us to sad case of Starship Insanity. As all of you probably saw last night, Mr. Crazy became a victim of whatever creature lurks beneath the ring. This menace must be stopped and we are asking Pollomania to double its efforts to remove this entity. Otherwise the Canadian Embassy will file a formal complaint with the Health and Safety departments of the governments of every country that houses any of Pollomania’s ‘halls’. The Canadian Ambassador to Mexico has already brought up his concerns with our country’s Prime Minister, who has promised to push laws through Parliament to prevent Pollomania from putting their show on in Toronto, or any further shows in Canada for that matter, unless actions are taken to insure this creature, or whatever it is, does not harm anyone else.
“Sadly, these changes come too late for Mr. Crazy, who barring an act of God is gone. Unfortunately this leaves Zargnax without a partner, which means that he can no longer compete in the Grand Prix and much like Masked Justice, must forfeit the remainder of his match. Which means that when the Embassy faces off with Adult Entertainment Express at “If You Want Fries” on March 23th in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, that their match should be to determine who the first ever Pollomania Tag Team Champions. We call on Zargnax to do that right thing and formally announce he’s departing the Grand Prix.
“Now we have time for just a few questions from the press before we must depart. Yes, you.”
“Jamie McIntyre on the Montreal Gazette. Can we expect Tiger Mask Red to appear at Pollomania’s next show, “The Great Canadian Freeze”, in Toronto?”
“Yes, Tiger Mask Red will in fact be in Toronto, Ontario on March 9th. He has authorized me to inform you all that he is making an open challenge to any member of the roster to a match, both “villains” and “heroes”. He wants to prove to the world that despite his lost last night, that he is still the greatest wrestler in Pollomania. Next question. Yes?”
“Kye Spence of the Toronto Sun. This question is addressed to Holly Guacamole. We understand that you’ve recently taken exception to the comments of one Ursula Areano. Care to elaborate?”
Holly shoves Angus Stewart aside and grabs the mic, “Yeah that bitch has been going around here claiming that she’s the only woman wrestling in Pollomania. I hope she was watching last night because I won the biggest match of my life when I made Vanilla Breath pass out to the Sharpshooter, because I proved that I’m more than just a pretty face! So Ursula, I know you’re going to see this. I’m call you hope, Honey. You and me in Toronto in two weeks at “The Great Canadian Freeze”. I am the dominate woman in Pollomania. If you think you can beat me, why don’t you step up to the plate and try to beat me.”
Angus manages to wrest the mic away from Holly as calmly as he can before she humiliates herself.
“I think we have time for one more question. Yes, you?”
“Farley McGill of WrestlingNewsNow.com. This question is addressed to Brutus Smith. Recently rumors have circulated that your speech impediment is an act and you can in fact articulate yourself extremely well. This is your opportunity to set the record straight.”
Brute approaches the mic and clears his throat. The reporters and fans in attendance wait with fainted breath at his response.”
“I am Brute.”
The whole room erupts with laughter. Farley McGill sits back down, somewhat embarrassed at Brute’s response but clearly not convinced.
“Ladies and gentlemen,” Angus Stewart announces as the laughter fades, “Thank you so much for attended. That will be it for today, no more questions.”
The reporters yell out questions as Stewart ushers Brute and Holly from the room and the feed to the press conference fades to black.