Post by Deleted on Aug 6, 2015 5:32:57 GMT
The waitress stares blankly into the camera. She taps her pencil on her order pad slowly. There's a look of severe irritation in her face.
Waitress: "Have you decided yet?"
The camera switches to two men sitting in a diner booth. One of them is wearing a black mask with a big smile drawn on it. The other is made completely of wood. There's about six seconds of silence, and then...
Black Masked Man: "That actually sounds good. I'll have that too."
The waitress sighs.
Waitress: "Have what, sir?"
Black Masked Man: "The same thing. The thing Woody's having. Oh, but with the bacon on the side, can I get it like that? With the bacon on the-"
Waitress: "Sir, you cannot be serious."
Black Masked Man: “Well, I WAS, but if it’s really that big a deal to just put some bacon on the side…”
Waitress: “I MEAN, sir, that you can’t seriously be asking me to take a lunch order from a mannequin.”
The masked man’s big hand clutches the counter. His arm appears to be shaking.
Black Masked Man: “Hey! I do NOT appreciate your racism, young lady!”
This outburst gets the attention of several other people in the restaurant. They all turn to look at the black-masked man, who points one of his big beefy fingers at the wide-eyed waitress.
Black Masked Man: “First of all, not every Inanimate-American is a mannequin! Secondly, Inanimate-Americans deserve to be allowed to order food just like every other tax-paying American!”
Waitress: “Sir, that isn’t what I meant…”
Black Masked Man: “Oh, so you won’t take his order because you don’t think he can pay? Because trust me, sister, Woody can pay! He’s a famous wrestler in Japan - even held a singles title over there!”
Waitress: “No, what I MEAN is…”
Black Masked Man: “C’mon Woody, show her! Flip that fat Japanese bankroll out and make it rain! MAKE IT RAIN! OH IT’S RAINING YEN, HALLELUJAH!”
Waitress: “SIR, what I MEANT is, I couldn’t hear him talk!”
The man in the black mask stops his ranting and raving for a few seconds and looks around. He’s a large man, and is casting a big scary shadow on the nearby patrons.
Realizing this, he quickly sits back down and shrinks into his booth sheepishly.
Black Masked Man: “OK, that makes perfect sense, sorry. Um. Two mushroom-bacon burgers.”
Waitress: “...with your bacon on the side?”
Black Masked Man: “..........................if that’s okay.”
Waitress: “You have my permission, dear. Anything else?”
The masked man giggles a little and rubs the back of his head.
Black Masked Man: “Um, just some coffee and two waters. Thanks again. Sorry again.”
Waitress: “Tell you what, if you convince your friend here to leave a good tip, all is forgiven.”
Both of them chuckle a bit, and she walks off. The black-masked man leans across the table.
Black Masked Man: “Nah, I think she was just being nice to you, man. But it never hurts to ask, right? The worst she can say is no.”
Waitress: "Have you decided yet?"
The camera switches to two men sitting in a diner booth. One of them is wearing a black mask with a big smile drawn on it. The other is made completely of wood. There's about six seconds of silence, and then...
Black Masked Man: "That actually sounds good. I'll have that too."
The waitress sighs.
Waitress: "Have what, sir?"
Black Masked Man: "The same thing. The thing Woody's having. Oh, but with the bacon on the side, can I get it like that? With the bacon on the-"
Waitress: "Sir, you cannot be serious."
Black Masked Man: “Well, I WAS, but if it’s really that big a deal to just put some bacon on the side…”
Waitress: “I MEAN, sir, that you can’t seriously be asking me to take a lunch order from a mannequin.”
The masked man’s big hand clutches the counter. His arm appears to be shaking.
Black Masked Man: “Hey! I do NOT appreciate your racism, young lady!”
This outburst gets the attention of several other people in the restaurant. They all turn to look at the black-masked man, who points one of his big beefy fingers at the wide-eyed waitress.
Black Masked Man: “First of all, not every Inanimate-American is a mannequin! Secondly, Inanimate-Americans deserve to be allowed to order food just like every other tax-paying American!”
Waitress: “Sir, that isn’t what I meant…”
Black Masked Man: “Oh, so you won’t take his order because you don’t think he can pay? Because trust me, sister, Woody can pay! He’s a famous wrestler in Japan - even held a singles title over there!”
Waitress: “No, what I MEAN is…”
Black Masked Man: “C’mon Woody, show her! Flip that fat Japanese bankroll out and make it rain! MAKE IT RAIN! OH IT’S RAINING YEN, HALLELUJAH!”
Waitress: “SIR, what I MEANT is, I couldn’t hear him talk!”
The man in the black mask stops his ranting and raving for a few seconds and looks around. He’s a large man, and is casting a big scary shadow on the nearby patrons.
Realizing this, he quickly sits back down and shrinks into his booth sheepishly.
Black Masked Man: “OK, that makes perfect sense, sorry. Um. Two mushroom-bacon burgers.”
Waitress: “...with your bacon on the side?”
Black Masked Man: “..........................if that’s okay.”
Waitress: “You have my permission, dear. Anything else?”
The masked man giggles a little and rubs the back of his head.
Black Masked Man: “Um, just some coffee and two waters. Thanks again. Sorry again.”
Waitress: “Tell you what, if you convince your friend here to leave a good tip, all is forgiven.”
Both of them chuckle a bit, and she walks off. The black-masked man leans across the table.
Black Masked Man: “Nah, I think she was just being nice to you, man. But it never hurts to ask, right? The worst she can say is no.”