Post by ISM Office on Oct 22, 2015 7:31:00 GMT
Toast defeats Mascara del Baile in the opener with Toastshooter.
- Not written because a) Toast missed the no-show deadline b) He was at 888 words c) Busy.
As the pesky YouTube ad ends, the Pollomania Hall is briefly shown and then cuts to the ring where Al Nova, Hayden Sensation, and Wildstar D are already standing. Their names briefly flash across the bottom of the screen.
DR. SCREAM:
THE FOLLOWING CONTEST IS YOUR CHICKEN SCRAMBLE CHAMPIONSHIP, SCHEDULED FOR TEN MINUTE TIME LIMIT! FIRST, ALREADY IN THE RING, ARE WILDSTAR D... AL NOVA... AND HAYDEN SENSATION!
The crowd reacts with some applause. Next, the soundtrack from “Invaders From Mars” begins playing and the giant egg opens up. Smoke starts pouring out of the egg, as Zargnax steps out as menacingly as possible.
DR. SCREAM:
NEXT... FROM FZORPON X-79B, HE WEIGHS IN AT TWO HUNDRED, TWENTY NINE POUNDS - ZAAAAARGNAX~!
Zargnax insults the fans, threatening to vaporize every one of them with his Ray Gun. He makes his way down the ramp to the ring. After he enters the ring he stands in the center of the ring, looking menacing.
Suddenly, the venue's lights dim as "Jumpin' Jack Flash" by Alex Chilton begins playing.
DR. SCREAM:
NEXT... FROM NEW ORLEANS, LOUISIANA, HE WEIGHS IN AT TWO HUNDRED, TWENTY POUNDS - MISTEEERRRRRRRRR CRAZYYYYYYYY~!
Mr. Crazy walks out with both of his hands raised and doing the "horns" before proceeding to walk down the entrance ramp while dispensing middle-fingers and insults to the front-row hecklers. Mr. Crazy breaks into a run as he approaches the ring and leaps cleanly over the top-rope in a display of his athletic prowess, landing in a knee-slide on the canvass with his hands playing a mock air-guitar. He raises himself to his feet and removes his robe, folding it before throwing it out of the ring as he surveys the audience.
Suddenly, the PA system starts cranking out 'Ole' by the Bouncing Souls! The man known as El Vainillo bursts through the egg, his arms raised to the crowd.
DR. SCREAM:
AND FINALLY... FROM THE CONFECTIONARY AISLE... HE WEIGHS IN AT ONE HUNDRED, FIFTY TWO POUNDS - EL VAAAAAAAAAAAAAINILLOOOOOOO~!
El Vainillo successfully starts a clap-along to the beat of the song, and the entire crowd gets into it quickly. Once he has the entire crowd clapping and chanting, Vainillo sprints down to the ring, slides under the bottom rope, runs towards the opposite turnbuckle and raises his arms to the crowd yet again. He then backflips off the 'buckle, landing in the center of the mat to a cheer from the crowd. He does this on all four turnbuckles before finally gaining the center of the ring and preparing for the start of his scheduled match.
DR. SCREAM:
YOUR REFEREE FOR THIS BOUT IS POPCORN POLLO!
Popcorn Pollo checks to make sure everyone is in the ring (clearly he wasn't listening to the announcements) and calls for the bell! Pandemonium erupts in center ring as all the competitors start pummeling each other! The first to gain any ground is Zargnax, who picks up a stunned Wildstar D and throws him at Hayden Sensation and Al Nova - OUCH! All three competitors hit the mat in a clumsy pile!
Meanwhile El Vainillo and Mr. Crazy are locked up in the center of the ring. Crazy gets the early advantage with a headlock, but Vainillo quickly reverses into a wrist lock and pushes Crazy away. Crazy turns quickly and fires off a superkick, but Vainillo grabs the leg- WAIT! Mr. Crazy leaps up and hits a STUNNING enziguiri on Vainillo! Vainillo flops to the mat, and Mr. Crazy wastes no time dropping to the mat and going for a pin... 1... 2... kickout by Vainillo!
Al Nova works his way out from under the pile of wrestlers, but is suddenly staring down the barrel of Zargnax's MIND CONTROL RAY! Zargnax pulls the trigger, and suddenly Al Nova starts acting weird... his eyes go glassy and he offers Zargnax his arm... Zargnax grabs it and twists the arm into a pretty standard wrist lock, but Nova's free hand starts mechanically tapping... Popcorn Pollo looks confused, but Nova assures the minuscule official (in a monotone robotic voice) that he is in fact tapping out, and so Popcorn Pollo calls it!
DR. SCREAM:
YOUR CURRENT SCRAMBLE CHAMPION IS... ZAAAAAAAARGNAX~!
The clock ticks down to 8:57... Zargnax points to Mr. Crazy and says something to Al Nova. Nova nods slowly and shambles over to Mr. Crazy, and puts a bear hug on him! As Crazy pulls at the arms of the hypnotized Al Nova, Zargnax sneaks out of the ring and leaps into the audience! He's trying to sneak away!
With Mr. Crazy distracted, Vainillo is able to get up and appraise the situation. He sees Zargnax leap into the crowd and puts 2 and 2 together... Vainillo shakes off the cobwebs and dashes out of the ring! Zargnax hears the crowd CHEER for Vainillo but seems to think they're cheering for him, so he stops to raise his arms and yell "YES! WORSHIP ME YOU FILTHY PEOPLE!" So he doesn't see it when Vainillo PLOWS into him from behind! Zargnax's face ends up buried in a fat woman's cleavage, which is extra disgusting because she was also saving her snotty tissues in her bra to throw out later! EEEEWWWWWWW! Zargnax, blinded by snot and boob-sweat, is helpless as Vainillo picks him up and delivers the VANILLA SCOOP~! Vainillo drops to the ground... 1... 2... 3!!!
DR. SCREAM:
YOUR NEW CURRENT SCRAMBLE CHAMPION IS... EL VAAAAAAAAAAAAAINILLOOOOOOO~!
The clock is at 7:44... The rest of the competitors shake off the cobwebs (except Al Nova, who seems confused and is laying on top of Mr. Crazy). Everyone sees Vainillo in the middle of the crowd and starts to make their way out of the ring. Mr. Crazy finally gets an advantage over the hypnotized Nova and throws him off before rolling out of the ring. Vainillo sees that everyone is coming for him and asks the audience to clear him some space, which they do. As the mob rushes into the crowd, Vainillo first picks off Wildstar D with a Vanilla Kick, then drops Hayden Sensation with a kick in the ribs, followed by a Canadian destroyer! The crowd CHEERS Vainillo's offense! Mr Crazy finally makes his way to Vainillo and blocks a punch attempt... Vainillo then dodges another headlock attempt... Crazymanages to wriggle free of a waistlock-WAIT! Crazy just kicked Vainillo in the jimmy bag! Vainillo flops to the ground holding his junk as the crowd BOOs Mr Crazy (who just waves his arm dismissively) and goes for the pin... 1... 2... thr-NO! KICKOUT AT 2.9!
With the clock at 6:51, Zargnax finally gets to his feet and shouts something at the ring. Al Nova, still mind-controlled, starts to shamble towards the pandemonium. Mr. Crazy stomps on Vainillo a few times before Zargnax grabs Mr. Crazy and Irish whips him towards the barrier wall, where Al Nova is waiting... Al Nova climbs onto the barrier wall and does a clumsy version of Zargnax's desperation finisher, a high moonsault known as THE KAMIKAZE OPTION~! Zargnax rubs his hands together gleefully and turns his attentions to Vainillo, lifting the luchador to a vertical position and going for the Zero-Point Proto-Modular Quantalizer-wait! Vainillo manages to wriggle free and lands behind Zargnax! He yells something to the crowd, and someone kicks over a chair that's already been set up! Vainillo hits Zargnax in the back of the head, and Zargnax drops his mind control ray onto the chair, which suspiciously lands barrel-up... VAINILLO HITS ZARGNAX WITH AN ATOMIC DROP ONTO THE CHAIR!! Zargnax leaps to his feet and runs around howling, grabbing his butt, with the mind control ray wedged between his buttcheeks! Al Nova ALSO starts running around in circles grabbing his butt!
The clock ticks down to 5:32... Mr. Crazy makes a beeline for Vainillo and leaps into the air... Vainillo turns around, just in time for Crazy to grab Vainillo's head and SMASH it into the chair with a bulldog! The chair breaks! Vainillo looks groggy, so Crazy goes for the pin... 1... 2... 3!!!
DR. SCREAM:
YOUR NEW CURRENT SCRAMBLE CHAMPION IS... MISTEEERRRRRRRRR CRAZYYYYYYYY~!
5:02 left on the clock. Mr. Crazy decides that it's time to think strategy, so he heads back to the ring. Zargnax finally pulls the mind control ray from his nether regions and fires it quickly at two members of the audience, who suddenly grip hands from across the aisle... Crazy trips over their arms and flops to the floor! Zargnax then commands Al Nova to put Crazy into an ankle lock! Laughing maniacally, Zargnax makes his way to where Crazy is struggling to get out of the hold. Crazy kicks Nova off of him and gets up, just in time for Zargnax to hit Crazy with the Delta Wave Nucleostabilization (front dropkick) which BLASTS Crazy through the barrier wall! Zargnax commands Nova to help him to his feet, and then tells Al Nova to gorilla press slam him onto Mr Crazy... wait! CRAZY ROLLS OUT OF THE WAY IN TIME! NOVA SLAMS ZARGNAX FACE FIRST INTO THE CONCRETE FLOOR! Crazy rolls to the ring and uses the ropes to pull himself to his feet, laughing like a maniac the whole time.
With the clock now at 4:32, Zargnax blurts out another command to Al Nova. Nova gets up unsteadily and bends over to help Zargnax up... when suddenly El Vainillo runs in from the crowd, jumps up and LEAPS off the bent over Al Nova, and COLLIDES INTO CRAZY WITH A SHOOTING STAR PRESS!!! Crazy falls backwards and hits his head on the ring corner! Vainillo drops for the cover... 1... 2... 3!!!
DR. SCREAM:
YOUR NEW CURRENT SCRAMBLE CHAMPION IS... EL VAAAAAAAAAAAAAINILLOOOOOOO~!
Vainillo rises and circles the ring, high-fiving the fans! He looks up at the clock and sees that he still has 4:02 to go, but he's decided to do the honorable thing and slide into the ring... Vainillo is waiting ring-center for anyone to enter and challenge him! Crazy is still shaking off the impact of the shooting star press, but Zargnax is still awake enough to demand Al Nova help him up once again. Nova picks up his master, but as he does so the mind control ray falls out of Zargnax's holster and slides to the floor. Zargnax doesn't notice this as he c ommands Nova to roll him into the ring and then join him.
Vainillo looks up at the clock - 3:19 - then back at the two men outnumbering him in the ring. Zargnax points and Al Nova complies by going for a tie-up with Vainillo, but the heroic crowd favorite refuses to be taken in by that cheap trick, kicking Nova across the stomach! Nova flips and lands in a heap, but it was just enough distraction for Zargnax to run up and grab Vainillo... CRYOSKELETAL INFROSPLICING! Vainillo drops to the mat and clutches his head in pain! Zargnax takes a moment to laugh and taunt the audience.
Meanwhile, at ringside, Mr. Crazy notices Zargnax's mind control ray is just laying there. He reaches for it and starts playing with some knobs...
At 2:49, Zargnax finally places one of his boots on Vainillo's chest, and Popcorn Pollo starts to count the pin... 1... 2... AL NOVA YANKS ZARGNAX OFF OF VAINILLO! Zargnax seems confused. Mr Crazy plays with another switch on the mind control ray, and suddenly Al Nova is now challenging Zargnax to a dance-off! Zargnax seems confused and reaches for his holster, but the mind control ray isn't there... He looks up just in time to see Mr Crazy turn another knob, which makes Al Nova start barking like a dog... AL NOVA PEES ON ZARGNAX'S LEG AND THEN STARTS HUMPING IT!!! Zargnax is REPULSED by this turn of events and whips out his Boxing Glove Ray Gun! He shoots Al Nova point blank in the noggin with it, and Nova is comically blasted into the corner... where he immediately curls up like a dog and takes a little nap.
2:01... Zargnax turns his boxing glove gun towards Crazy, who still hasn't quite gotten the hang of how the weird alien weapon works. He points it at Zargnax and pulls the trigger a couple times, but nothing happens. Zargnax laughs maniacally and points his boxing glove gun at Crazy... EL VAINILLO KICKS THE BOXING GLOVE GUN AND HITS ZARGNAX WITH A VANILLA SWIRL!!! Zargnax is completely passed out in the center of the ring! Vainillo then looks over at Crazy and gets into a fighting position, but Crazy seems hesitant.
1:36... Vainillo walks over to the side of the ring nearest Crazy and parts the ropes, inviting Crazy to come in. Crazy is still stalking from the outside, still staring at the current Scramble Champion, but not making any motion to get into the ring. Finally after a few more moments, Mr. Crazy reaches into the audience and grabs a kid wearing an EL VAINILLO t-shirt... Crazy RIPS the t-shirt off the young fan!
This REALLY gets Vainillo mad! Vainillo leaps up onto the top turnbuckle and looks down at the arena floor where Mr. Crazy is standing... Crazy points the mind control ray at Vainillo and manages to get it to work - Vainillo is now hypnotized and woozy at the top of the turnbuckle! With 1:01 to go, Mr. Crazy cackles gleefully and turns some knobs... VAINILLO LEAPS OFF THE TOP TURNBUCKLE AND HITS THE GROUND FACE FIRST! He then stands up groggily... Mr. Crazy leaps onto the ring apron... SWEET OBLIVION FROM THE TOP ROPE TO THE ARENA FLOOR! Mr. Crazy goes for the pin... 1... 2... 3!!!
DR. SCREAM:
YOUR NEW CURRENT SCRAMBLE CHAMPION IS... MISTEEERRRRRRRRR CRAZYYYYYYYY~!
Still 14 seconds on the clock, but Mr. Crazy keeps messing with the buttons on the mind control ray, keeping El Vainillo docile. Wildstar D and Hayden Sensation are finally waking up, but they don't make it back to the ring in time to do anything effective, so the clock runs out! Popcorn Pollo presents Mr. Crazy with the Scramble Championship belt, amidst a chorus of BOOOOs.