Post by ISM Office on Jul 30, 2015 4:51:08 GMT
Some various clips of Los Pollos are shown to introduce the segment. We cut to a parking lot outside of a news building where a solid 9/10 generic airhead blonde news reporter (so this is a FOX broadcast) is standing by with El Hijo de Pollo and Super Pollo dressed to the nines in suits. El Hijo de Pollo is wearing a black suit with a orange tie to match his mask, while Super Pollo is wearing a white suit along with his white mask.
GENERIC AIRHEAD BLONDE NEWS REPORTER: They call themselves LOS POLLOS... you may know them as the owners and mascots...
El Hijo de Pollo's eyes widen, looking awfully offended.
GAB NEWS REPORTER: of the mega popular Pollo Bucket restaurant with over 200 locations worldwide! I'm here today with two of them. Joining us live is El Hijo de Pollo and Super Pollo! Welcome to the show, guys.
SUPER POLLO: Thank you, thank you.
GAB NEWS REPORTER: You guys look great! Do you always wear your masks wherever you go?
EL HIJO DE POLLO: We consider them our faces, so yes.
GAB NEWS REPORTER: So you guys have launched a new wrestling federation called Pollomania. A bit unconventional as far as naming trends go. I understand you have just announced your first event?
SUPER POLLO: Yes, August 15th right here in Las Vegas at our brand new Pollo Hall. The Chicken or the Egg?
GAB NEWS REPORTER: The Chicken or the Egg?
SUPER POLLO: The Chicken or the Egg?
GAB NEWS REPORTER: OK... what can people expect from this event?
EL HIJO DE POLLO: Our main event is a special twenty minute Chicken Scramble for the championship of the same name.
GAB NEWS REPORTER: Chicken Scramble!?
EL HIJO DE POLLO: Chicken Scramble.
GAB NEWS REPORTER: What's that?
SUPER POLLO: Normally a Chicken Scramble would be ten minutes. These matches unlike normal matches don't end after a single fall, but continue for the full time limit. Whoever scores the first fall in this match will have the honor of being the first champion but they may not even last a minute with the belt - it's chaos!
EL HIJO DE POLLO: That's right. Once a champion is crowned within the match, the champion is officially the target. It's essentially a game of tag within a pro-wrestling ring except you want to be "it". In order to win the championship during the match, you can only pin or submit the reigning champion and whoever is the reigning champion at the end of the bout won't have to worry about watching their backs for another two weeks.
GAB NEWS REPORTER: Is there any specific strategy in this kind of match?
SUPER POLLO: Run away?
EL HIJO DE POLLO: Trouble is, falls count absolutely anywhere.
GAB NEWS REPORTER: So running away may not be a sound strategy whatsoever?
Before the Pollos can answer her question, the camera shifts from the interview set, past a wrestling ring that's been assembled to a 1996 model Jeep Wrangler pulling up. The driver side door opens up and out steps one of Pollomania's "Freaks and Geeks" - the "Project" Dustin Boulder. The passenger door opens up and his partner in crime... "The Electric" Jeremy Squire steps forward with him.
DUSTIN BOULDER: Listen up, kiddos.
SUPER POLLO: No one's saying anything, I think it's safe to say you have our full attention.
EL HIJO DE POLLO: Unfortunately.
DUSTIN BOULDER: Kiddos, you only know about Pollo Bucket because your mama made it for you! It's chicken fried ****.
JEREMY SQUIRE: I liked it a whole lot better before you guys went all 'international'. It tastes like crap now!
EL HIJO DE POLLO: IT'S EXACTLY THE SAME AS BEFORE!
JEREMY SQUIRE: NO! It's popular now, so obviously you dumbed down the recipe from the days it's was good and delicious! That's okay, though, POLL-OS. We're diehard Wendy's fans now. Dave Thomas has got our business 'til we die!
SUPER POLLO: Dave Thomas is dead.
Squire and Boulder look at each other unsure if this is indeed true.
DUSTIN BOULDER: Shut up, kid.
SUPER POLLO: I'm older than you!
JEREMY SQUIRE: Dustin, I bet these two chickens don't even have enough greasy balls to get inside the ring with us right here and ri---
Super Pollo whips a family sized Pollo Bucket at Squire's head, knocking him down. Boulder leaps over his fallen friend and crossbodies the Pollos. They catch him... as he kicks and screams that he's sorry and loves Pollo Bucket. Squire gets back up and dropkicks Boulder's back to send him down on top of both Pollos.
DUSTIN BOULDER: WENDY'S FOREVER, KIDDOS!
Squire and Boulder jump on top of Hijo and Super respectively and begin punching away as the news reporter has hightailed it. They pull the Pollos up and send them into the ring. Boulder rolls in, as Squire ascends to the top rope. Boulder heads straight for Hijo who hoofs him in the nuts and then push kicks him back into the corner where he comically bashes the back of his head into Squire's groin, knocking him off balance where he crotches himself on the turnbuckle. Hijo rushes in with a European Uppercut on Boulder and lays him out with an Ace Crusher to complete the 99 Cent Special as Super Pollo gets up, grabs Squire and yells at Hijo. Hijo grabs Boulder's legs and holds him in place as Soup launches Squire across the ring, effectively making him give his own partner a diving headbutt to the groin! Hijo covers Boulder and Soup counts it. 1! 2! 3! The Pollos leap up and celebrate this faux victory as the few people standing around watching are simply aghast at what they just witnessed.
EL HIJO DE POLLO: AUGUST 15th! THE CHICKEN OR THE EGG? BE THERE~!
GENERIC AIRHEAD BLONDE NEWS REPORTER: They call themselves LOS POLLOS... you may know them as the owners and mascots...
El Hijo de Pollo's eyes widen, looking awfully offended.
GAB NEWS REPORTER: of the mega popular Pollo Bucket restaurant with over 200 locations worldwide! I'm here today with two of them. Joining us live is El Hijo de Pollo and Super Pollo! Welcome to the show, guys.
SUPER POLLO: Thank you, thank you.
GAB NEWS REPORTER: You guys look great! Do you always wear your masks wherever you go?
EL HIJO DE POLLO: We consider them our faces, so yes.
GAB NEWS REPORTER: So you guys have launched a new wrestling federation called Pollomania. A bit unconventional as far as naming trends go. I understand you have just announced your first event?
SUPER POLLO: Yes, August 15th right here in Las Vegas at our brand new Pollo Hall. The Chicken or the Egg?
GAB NEWS REPORTER: The Chicken or the Egg?
SUPER POLLO: The Chicken or the Egg?
GAB NEWS REPORTER: OK... what can people expect from this event?
EL HIJO DE POLLO: Our main event is a special twenty minute Chicken Scramble for the championship of the same name.
GAB NEWS REPORTER: Chicken Scramble!?
EL HIJO DE POLLO: Chicken Scramble.
GAB NEWS REPORTER: What's that?
SUPER POLLO: Normally a Chicken Scramble would be ten minutes. These matches unlike normal matches don't end after a single fall, but continue for the full time limit. Whoever scores the first fall in this match will have the honor of being the first champion but they may not even last a minute with the belt - it's chaos!
EL HIJO DE POLLO: That's right. Once a champion is crowned within the match, the champion is officially the target. It's essentially a game of tag within a pro-wrestling ring except you want to be "it". In order to win the championship during the match, you can only pin or submit the reigning champion and whoever is the reigning champion at the end of the bout won't have to worry about watching their backs for another two weeks.
GAB NEWS REPORTER: Is there any specific strategy in this kind of match?
SUPER POLLO: Run away?
EL HIJO DE POLLO: Trouble is, falls count absolutely anywhere.
GAB NEWS REPORTER: So running away may not be a sound strategy whatsoever?
Before the Pollos can answer her question, the camera shifts from the interview set, past a wrestling ring that's been assembled to a 1996 model Jeep Wrangler pulling up. The driver side door opens up and out steps one of Pollomania's "Freaks and Geeks" - the "Project" Dustin Boulder. The passenger door opens up and his partner in crime... "The Electric" Jeremy Squire steps forward with him.
DUSTIN BOULDER: Listen up, kiddos.
SUPER POLLO: No one's saying anything, I think it's safe to say you have our full attention.
EL HIJO DE POLLO: Unfortunately.
DUSTIN BOULDER: Kiddos, you only know about Pollo Bucket because your mama made it for you! It's chicken fried ****.
JEREMY SQUIRE: I liked it a whole lot better before you guys went all 'international'. It tastes like crap now!
EL HIJO DE POLLO: IT'S EXACTLY THE SAME AS BEFORE!
JEREMY SQUIRE: NO! It's popular now, so obviously you dumbed down the recipe from the days it's was good and delicious! That's okay, though, POLL-OS. We're diehard Wendy's fans now. Dave Thomas has got our business 'til we die!
SUPER POLLO: Dave Thomas is dead.
Squire and Boulder look at each other unsure if this is indeed true.
DUSTIN BOULDER: Shut up, kid.
SUPER POLLO: I'm older than you!
JEREMY SQUIRE: Dustin, I bet these two chickens don't even have enough greasy balls to get inside the ring with us right here and ri---
Super Pollo whips a family sized Pollo Bucket at Squire's head, knocking him down. Boulder leaps over his fallen friend and crossbodies the Pollos. They catch him... as he kicks and screams that he's sorry and loves Pollo Bucket. Squire gets back up and dropkicks Boulder's back to send him down on top of both Pollos.
DUSTIN BOULDER: WENDY'S FOREVER, KIDDOS!
Squire and Boulder jump on top of Hijo and Super respectively and begin punching away as the news reporter has hightailed it. They pull the Pollos up and send them into the ring. Boulder rolls in, as Squire ascends to the top rope. Boulder heads straight for Hijo who hoofs him in the nuts and then push kicks him back into the corner where he comically bashes the back of his head into Squire's groin, knocking him off balance where he crotches himself on the turnbuckle. Hijo rushes in with a European Uppercut on Boulder and lays him out with an Ace Crusher to complete the 99 Cent Special as Super Pollo gets up, grabs Squire and yells at Hijo. Hijo grabs Boulder's legs and holds him in place as Soup launches Squire across the ring, effectively making him give his own partner a diving headbutt to the groin! Hijo covers Boulder and Soup counts it. 1! 2! 3! The Pollos leap up and celebrate this faux victory as the few people standing around watching are simply aghast at what they just witnessed.
EL HIJO DE POLLO: AUGUST 15th! THE CHICKEN OR THE EGG? BE THERE~!
Pollomania presents their inaugural event
THE CHICKEN OR THE EGG?
August 12th, 2015 at the Pollo Hall in Las Vegas, Nevada
Sponsored by Pollo Bucket
A SPECIAL 20 MINUTE CHICKEN SCRAMBLE CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH!
Featuring...
- Al Nova ~ The Purple Dragon!
- The Iron Orca
- Jessica Buck ~ Worth the Price of Admission!
- You!
A SPECIAL INTRODUCTION AND ANNOUNCEMENT FROM OURLORD AND SAVIORS VERY OWN EL HIJO DE POLLO AND SUPER POLLO!
THE CHICKEN OR THE EGG?
August 12th, 2015 at the Pollo Hall in Las Vegas, Nevada
Sponsored by Pollo Bucket
A SPECIAL 20 MINUTE CHICKEN SCRAMBLE CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH!
Featuring...
- Al Nova ~ The Purple Dragon!
- The Iron Orca
- Jessica Buck ~ Worth the Price of Admission!
- You!
A SPECIAL INTRODUCTION AND ANNOUNCEMENT FROM OUR