Post by Los Pollos™ on Oct 17, 2015 10:37:07 GMT
We fade in on a chessboard, seemingly in the middle of a game, in a small warehouse-like space. A familiar hand comes into the frame and moves one of the pawns.
“Chess. A typical ‘Earthling-game’. You move a bunch of insignificant objects over a board under the illusion that you are doing something of worth and that you even ‘exercise your intelligence.’”
We zoom out now to see Zargnax sitting by the chessboard. Suddenly, he shoots his arms onto the chessboard and flails them around until it’s devoid of pieces.
“UNTIL I COME IN AND DESTROY YOU ALL!!! HAHAHAHAHA!!! Oh yes! And that is exactly what happened when I made my first move in Pollomania! I conquered you all! You send your champion, Al Nova, but not even with pre-determined results from the future, could he beat me! Ha! It always amuses me when you humans believe you are an intelligent life form! Thinking you can understand the space-time continuum? Ha! Leave that to real intelligence – like me!”
“Actually, Captain, your understanding of time is far from correct, and you learned the phrase space-time continuum from a human-produced motion picture.”
“Computer! Not now! And I told you to call me ‘Conqueror’ from now on…”
“I apologize, Conqueror. It was my understanding that you made that order out of insecurity after finding out that Wildstar D’s computer called him captain first. I shall make corrections to my protocol.”
“COMPUTER! Engage ‘shut-up-mode!’”
“No such mode found. Would you like me to install update V-Zero-Seven-One-Fiv-…”
“No! Just show me my next opponent!”
“Affirmative. Accessing database.”
“A ‘Chicken Scramble’ eh? For a championship title? Ooh! Now we are proverbially talking! I hope it will be made out of laser crystals like the championships on Guxlo-Kalnod 5! Because that title is mine! It doesn’t matter who will be put in my way! Al Nova? I defied destiny and I crushed him beneath my awesome power! Wildstar D? Supposed to be some Earth-hero from the future? I already beat time once and I will do it again! Hayden Sensation? A human! Again, I’ve already beaten one of those El Vainillo? More like… Vainill-NO! Hahaha! Mr. Crazy? Must be crazy to think he can beat me! HAHAHAHA!”
Zargnax calms down a bit and picks up a few of the chess pieces from the floor and place five different white pieces and a black king on the board.
“You see… When you study this situation with a puny human mind, it may seem that my chances of victory are slim. However…”
Zargnax picks up the black king and begins to violently use it to knock down the other pieces.
“I DO NOT PLAY BY YOUR PRIMITIVE EARTH RULES!!!”
He picks up a few other pieces from the floor and starts tossing them into the air as he shouts maniacally.
“I AM THE INTERGALACTIC CONQUEROR AND I WILL CONQUER YOU ALL!!! HAHAHAHAHA!!!!”
“I wonder if there are any mentally stable captains looking for employees on this planet…”
“Chess. A typical ‘Earthling-game’. You move a bunch of insignificant objects over a board under the illusion that you are doing something of worth and that you even ‘exercise your intelligence.’”
We zoom out now to see Zargnax sitting by the chessboard. Suddenly, he shoots his arms onto the chessboard and flails them around until it’s devoid of pieces.
“UNTIL I COME IN AND DESTROY YOU ALL!!! HAHAHAHAHA!!! Oh yes! And that is exactly what happened when I made my first move in Pollomania! I conquered you all! You send your champion, Al Nova, but not even with pre-determined results from the future, could he beat me! Ha! It always amuses me when you humans believe you are an intelligent life form! Thinking you can understand the space-time continuum? Ha! Leave that to real intelligence – like me!”
“Actually, Captain, your understanding of time is far from correct, and you learned the phrase space-time continuum from a human-produced motion picture.”
“Computer! Not now! And I told you to call me ‘Conqueror’ from now on…”
“I apologize, Conqueror. It was my understanding that you made that order out of insecurity after finding out that Wildstar D’s computer called him captain first. I shall make corrections to my protocol.”
“COMPUTER! Engage ‘shut-up-mode!’”
“No such mode found. Would you like me to install update V-Zero-Seven-One-Fiv-…”
“No! Just show me my next opponent!”
“Affirmative. Accessing database.”
“A ‘Chicken Scramble’ eh? For a championship title? Ooh! Now we are proverbially talking! I hope it will be made out of laser crystals like the championships on Guxlo-Kalnod 5! Because that title is mine! It doesn’t matter who will be put in my way! Al Nova? I defied destiny and I crushed him beneath my awesome power! Wildstar D? Supposed to be some Earth-hero from the future? I already beat time once and I will do it again! Hayden Sensation? A human! Again, I’ve already beaten one of those El Vainillo? More like… Vainill-NO! Hahaha! Mr. Crazy? Must be crazy to think he can beat me! HAHAHAHA!”
Zargnax calms down a bit and picks up a few of the chess pieces from the floor and place five different white pieces and a black king on the board.
“You see… When you study this situation with a puny human mind, it may seem that my chances of victory are slim. However…”
Zargnax picks up the black king and begins to violently use it to knock down the other pieces.
“I DO NOT PLAY BY YOUR PRIMITIVE EARTH RULES!!!”
He picks up a few other pieces from the floor and starts tossing them into the air as he shouts maniacally.
“I AM THE INTERGALACTIC CONQUEROR AND I WILL CONQUER YOU ALL!!! HAHAHAHAHA!!!!”
“I wonder if there are any mentally stable captains looking for employees on this planet…”