It's A Rashomon Thing You Wouldn't Understand
Oct 16, 2015 4:48:39 GMT
Buck U Productions likes this
Post by Deleted on Oct 16, 2015 4:48:39 GMT
“‘Rare moment of clarity’? What is that, like, Canadian slang for ‘Got tired and went home’?”
Grin and Woody are sitting in an abandoned movie theater. The big screen is paused on the image of El Tigre de Jengibre psycho-strapped into a wheelchair. Woody is holding up a sign that says “C+”.
Grin chomps some popcorn and then chuckles:
“I was there too, brainiac. I was there when AyAmBroot made me dig a me-shaped hole in that sand. I was there when Holly offered to ‘kiss Woody goodbye’. THREE TIMES.”
Cut to Woody. The straw of his drink cup is touching his note-face lips. He’s got a very smug look on his note-face. Very smug indeed.
Grin continues:
“This means YOU - or someone associated with YOU - had NO plans whatsoever of EVER seeing MY fat ass again!”
Cut to Woody. His note face is now winking at the camera. In one hand, there’s a condom full of toothpicks taped to his hand. This has nothing to do with anything Grin said; at this point Woody is just flirting with Holly.
Grin speaks:
“I don’t blame you for not knowing the rest of that story... after all, it was late and you were tired... but it baffles me that you four geniuses seemingly have no interest in knowing exactly how Woody and I got from that hole, twenty miles away from feck-all, to right behind YOUR berry-bearded ass at Disorder In The House! HAVE YOU NO INTELLECTUAL CURIOSITY, SIR?!?!?”
Cut to Woody. His note face has a high-resolution print out of the “kissy face” emoji. That condom full of splinters is still a-swinging from his hand.
The still image of El Tigre on the big screen is starting to tremble.
Grin tosses his popcorn bag away and stands up. He’s hunched over, making 90% of his body covered in shadow. Glow-in-the-dark smile. Featureless abyss of a face.
Grin speaks:
“FIVE. DAYS. That’s how long it took. FIVE DAYS… IN A FRAGGIN’ DESERT… before we got back to civilization. We survived it. And HOW we survived it, along with how we survived EVERYTHING ELSE you puds put us through...
"...and how we will CONTINUE TO SURVIVE everything you puds put us through...
"...is our secret.”
Cut to Woody. He’s looking longingly at a Playboy centerfold. Holly’s face has been crudely taped onto the cover model’s head.
Grin stands up straight and cocks his head to one side. He reaches into his pocket and pulls out his leather bag of brass tacks. Grin speaks:
“If I am truly your destiny, and you truly believe in the coming darkness, then you had better get one thing straight - Darkness can consume all but itself. Thanks for your warning, but it would have been better to give that advice to a mirror…”
The still image of El Tigre on the big screen burns and melts away. The lights go out.
Grin’s smile continues to glow. He speaks.
“...because I AM THAT DARKNESS.”
Fade to nothing.
(final count: 499 words, 4 promos, and 1 more tip of the hat to Buck U Productions for a fun as hell back and forth)
Grin and Woody are sitting in an abandoned movie theater. The big screen is paused on the image of El Tigre de Jengibre psycho-strapped into a wheelchair. Woody is holding up a sign that says “C+”.
Grin chomps some popcorn and then chuckles:
“I was there too, brainiac. I was there when AyAmBroot made me dig a me-shaped hole in that sand. I was there when Holly offered to ‘kiss Woody goodbye’. THREE TIMES.”
Cut to Woody. The straw of his drink cup is touching his note-face lips. He’s got a very smug look on his note-face. Very smug indeed.
Grin continues:
“This means YOU - or someone associated with YOU - had NO plans whatsoever of EVER seeing MY fat ass again!”
Cut to Woody. His note face is now winking at the camera. In one hand, there’s a condom full of toothpicks taped to his hand. This has nothing to do with anything Grin said; at this point Woody is just flirting with Holly.
Grin speaks:
“I don’t blame you for not knowing the rest of that story... after all, it was late and you were tired... but it baffles me that you four geniuses seemingly have no interest in knowing exactly how Woody and I got from that hole, twenty miles away from feck-all, to right behind YOUR berry-bearded ass at Disorder In The House! HAVE YOU NO INTELLECTUAL CURIOSITY, SIR?!?!?”
Cut to Woody. His note face has a high-resolution print out of the “kissy face” emoji. That condom full of splinters is still a-swinging from his hand.
The still image of El Tigre on the big screen is starting to tremble.
Grin tosses his popcorn bag away and stands up. He’s hunched over, making 90% of his body covered in shadow. Glow-in-the-dark smile. Featureless abyss of a face.
Grin speaks:
“FIVE. DAYS. That’s how long it took. FIVE DAYS… IN A FRAGGIN’ DESERT… before we got back to civilization. We survived it. And HOW we survived it, along with how we survived EVERYTHING ELSE you puds put us through...
"...and how we will CONTINUE TO SURVIVE everything you puds put us through...
"...is our secret.”
Cut to Woody. He’s looking longingly at a Playboy centerfold. Holly’s face has been crudely taped onto the cover model’s head.
Grin stands up straight and cocks his head to one side. He reaches into his pocket and pulls out his leather bag of brass tacks. Grin speaks:
“If I am truly your destiny, and you truly believe in the coming darkness, then you had better get one thing straight - Darkness can consume all but itself. Thanks for your warning, but it would have been better to give that advice to a mirror…”
The still image of El Tigre on the big screen burns and melts away. The lights go out.
Grin’s smile continues to glow. He speaks.
“...because I AM THAT DARKNESS.”
Fade to nothing.
(final count: 499 words, 4 promos, and 1 more tip of the hat to Buck U Productions for a fun as hell back and forth)