Post by Deleted on Oct 15, 2015 3:58:09 GMT
“Yeah, pussycat. I thought that might shut you up.”
The Grin is holding a giant canvas. Woody is wearing a beret and is leaning against the canvas, with a pencil taped to his hand.
Grin growls:
“Oh sure, you had some fire for that filth-flarn-filth dirty mouth swearing cock I’m partnered with. Cameramen everywhere know never to do their jobs around you. Daddy Dearest got a little shout-out because, y’know, Metric Thanksgiving. Oh, and I bet, ah... Alex’s Restaurant... is about to get some interesting new Yelp reviews too.”
Cut to Woody. The canvas now has a pencil sketch of a female-shaped wooden doll reclining on a couch.
Grin growls a little louder:
“But nothing for me, hm? Correct me if I’m wrong, you sap-slurping simp, but I seem to recall you THREATENING to tell a certain story about Woody, yours truly, and the lessons we ALL learned that day?”
Cut to Woody. The pencil sketched female wooden doll is now wearing clothes and has a hairstyle similar to one of the female members of the Canadian Misfits. Y’know, the one that’s Holly.
Grin clenches his fist and speaks:
“I’m gonna cut the foreplay here, El Tigre de Jengibre… Everyone else in this match, myself included, could drown in boiling pits of gravy for all Woody cares, because Woody isn’t coming to slather delicious Pollo Bucket Chicken Gravy™ on you OR your dipshit co-workers for the amusement of San Antonio, ooooohhhhh no no no…”
Cut to Woody. The drawing is now colored in. The wooden doll is clearly wearing Holly’s distinctive hairstyle and outfit. It is a really gorgeous painting of a wooden dummy version of Holly. Like seriously, DeviantArt gorgeous.
Grin’s getting louder again. His tightening fist is making a sound like leather being stretched.
“Woody… Is coming… for YOU, child-murderer. On October 21st, Woody The Kid comes a-riding into Texas on the darkest, meanest mustang known to both men and manly men…”
Grin leans into frame. He’s all hair, shadows, and smile.
”ME.”
Cut to Woody. His hand is next to his signature in the corner. It is signed “To Holly, <3 Woody”.
Grin speaks:
“Y’know what? Bruce, Harley, and The Ugly One? I like you guys. Y’all are cool. I’m even cool with your pops, y’know, dude seems pretty chill for a head of state. You pretty much do your thing in the ring quite well, and you amuse me while doing it. So, when you wake up in a burn ward smelling like 11 secret herbs and spices, just know it wasn’t personal.”
Cut to Woody. He is now holding a gravy boat over his beautiful drawing. Gravy is coming out of the gravy boat slowly.
Cut to Woody. His note face is smirking.
Cut to the gravy. Cut to the painting.
Gravy.
Freaking.
EVERYWHERE.
The gravy boat is now empty. There’s about a one-inch layer thick coating of gravy covering the entire picture.
Grin chuckles:
“Delicious Pollo Bucket Chicken Gravy™. Get yours at Pollo Bucket™.”
(final count: 500 words, $47 worth of wasted art supplies, and 64 ounces of Delicious Pollo Bucket Chicken Gravy™)
The Grin is holding a giant canvas. Woody is wearing a beret and is leaning against the canvas, with a pencil taped to his hand.
Grin growls:
“Oh sure, you had some fire for that filth-flarn-filth dirty mouth swearing cock I’m partnered with. Cameramen everywhere know never to do their jobs around you. Daddy Dearest got a little shout-out because, y’know, Metric Thanksgiving. Oh, and I bet, ah... Alex’s Restaurant... is about to get some interesting new Yelp reviews too.”
Cut to Woody. The canvas now has a pencil sketch of a female-shaped wooden doll reclining on a couch.
Grin growls a little louder:
“But nothing for me, hm? Correct me if I’m wrong, you sap-slurping simp, but I seem to recall you THREATENING to tell a certain story about Woody, yours truly, and the lessons we ALL learned that day?”
Cut to Woody. The pencil sketched female wooden doll is now wearing clothes and has a hairstyle similar to one of the female members of the Canadian Misfits. Y’know, the one that’s Holly.
Grin clenches his fist and speaks:
“I’m gonna cut the foreplay here, El Tigre de Jengibre… Everyone else in this match, myself included, could drown in boiling pits of gravy for all Woody cares, because Woody isn’t coming to slather delicious Pollo Bucket Chicken Gravy™ on you OR your dipshit co-workers for the amusement of San Antonio, ooooohhhhh no no no…”
Cut to Woody. The drawing is now colored in. The wooden doll is clearly wearing Holly’s distinctive hairstyle and outfit. It is a really gorgeous painting of a wooden dummy version of Holly. Like seriously, DeviantArt gorgeous.
Grin’s getting louder again. His tightening fist is making a sound like leather being stretched.
“Woody… Is coming… for YOU, child-murderer. On October 21st, Woody The Kid comes a-riding into Texas on the darkest, meanest mustang known to both men and manly men…”
Grin leans into frame. He’s all hair, shadows, and smile.
”ME.”
Cut to Woody. His hand is next to his signature in the corner. It is signed “To Holly, <3 Woody”.
Grin speaks:
“Y’know what? Bruce, Harley, and The Ugly One? I like you guys. Y’all are cool. I’m even cool with your pops, y’know, dude seems pretty chill for a head of state. You pretty much do your thing in the ring quite well, and you amuse me while doing it. So, when you wake up in a burn ward smelling like 11 secret herbs and spices, just know it wasn’t personal.”
Cut to Woody. He is now holding a gravy boat over his beautiful drawing. Gravy is coming out of the gravy boat slowly.
Cut to Woody. His note face is smirking.
Cut to the gravy. Cut to the painting.
Gravy.
Freaking.
EVERYWHERE.
The gravy boat is now empty. There’s about a one-inch layer thick coating of gravy covering the entire picture.
Grin chuckles:
“Delicious Pollo Bucket Chicken Gravy™. Get yours at Pollo Bucket™.”
(final count: 500 words, $47 worth of wasted art supplies, and 64 ounces of Delicious Pollo Bucket Chicken Gravy™)