Post by Deleted on Oct 3, 2015 14:05:29 GMT
Lights. Camera. Action. Standing on set in front of a large backdrop featuring the Pollomania logo, Hayden Sensation, sharply dressed as always, removes his expensive sunglasses and flashes a smug grin for the cameras as he begins to pontificate in his usual charming manner.
"Alright alright alright, yo. Let's just clear one thing up first and foremost, that is that yes, I could've brought along a couple of dipshits and competed in the trios tournament had I wanted to. And had I done that, then yes, I'm pretty sure I would have won the whole damn thing. Seriously, the spectacular form I was in, PLUS, I could've hired some serious muscle with the kinda bankroll I'm packing. The only real problem being that I simply didn't feel like doing all the fans a massive favour by allowing them to see me wrestle like, three or four times when they're only paying to see me once. Nonetheless, congratulations go out to the Canadian Embassy Misfits, who at least were able to provide us all a good laugh with the fireworks at the end there."
He has a chuckle thinking about the attempted immolation of Super Pollo.
"That being said of course, personally, my performance on the night was outstanding as I defeated Mascara del Baile and cemented my place on this roster with a stunning singles victory, keeping the fans, even the timekeeper on the edge of his seat. And I'll give that loser the tiniest shred of credit for not being as worthy of fail as his dance moves and all around jackassery perceives him to be. He knew what he was doing out there, but I was on another level entirely. Now for my next opponent... how about a face that doesn't require a hood to cover it's shame from the world."
Hayden puts a hand up to his ear.
"What's this, Artificially Intelligent Pollo, you have another masked flop for me to dismantle and expose instead? You say this chump is a spacefaring time traveller from the future. Oh, where does the muppet festival end? He goes by the name Wildstar D. And what's the bet he's never kissed a girl in his sad life. You know, because he's really just another pathetic loser! Very well, I shall send him to the junk pile like yet another little brats discarded toy, where he can gather dust alongside the biker mice, transformers and other such products of childish imagination."
He wipes his hands clean in a symbolic gesture.
"Before that however, the greasy and undeserving nosepickers of El Paso, Texas, will be treated to a highlight reel of premium quality skill. As all will have come to expect by now from the MVP of team excellent. And on the seventh of October, at Disorder in the House, you can expect nothing less, as I rewrite the future history of some lame spaceman and take Pollomania on a star trek to Sensationland once again."
Hayden raises his arms triumphantly.
"Winner!"
"Alright alright alright, yo. Let's just clear one thing up first and foremost, that is that yes, I could've brought along a couple of dipshits and competed in the trios tournament had I wanted to. And had I done that, then yes, I'm pretty sure I would have won the whole damn thing. Seriously, the spectacular form I was in, PLUS, I could've hired some serious muscle with the kinda bankroll I'm packing. The only real problem being that I simply didn't feel like doing all the fans a massive favour by allowing them to see me wrestle like, three or four times when they're only paying to see me once. Nonetheless, congratulations go out to the Canadian Embassy Misfits, who at least were able to provide us all a good laugh with the fireworks at the end there."
He has a chuckle thinking about the attempted immolation of Super Pollo.
"That being said of course, personally, my performance on the night was outstanding as I defeated Mascara del Baile and cemented my place on this roster with a stunning singles victory, keeping the fans, even the timekeeper on the edge of his seat. And I'll give that loser the tiniest shred of credit for not being as worthy of fail as his dance moves and all around jackassery perceives him to be. He knew what he was doing out there, but I was on another level entirely. Now for my next opponent... how about a face that doesn't require a hood to cover it's shame from the world."
Hayden puts a hand up to his ear.
"What's this, Artificially Intelligent Pollo, you have another masked flop for me to dismantle and expose instead? You say this chump is a spacefaring time traveller from the future. Oh, where does the muppet festival end? He goes by the name Wildstar D. And what's the bet he's never kissed a girl in his sad life. You know, because he's really just another pathetic loser! Very well, I shall send him to the junk pile like yet another little brats discarded toy, where he can gather dust alongside the biker mice, transformers and other such products of childish imagination."
He wipes his hands clean in a symbolic gesture.
"Before that however, the greasy and undeserving nosepickers of El Paso, Texas, will be treated to a highlight reel of premium quality skill. As all will have come to expect by now from the MVP of team excellent. And on the seventh of October, at Disorder in the House, you can expect nothing less, as I rewrite the future history of some lame spaceman and take Pollomania on a star trek to Sensationland once again."
Hayden raises his arms triumphantly.
"Winner!"