Post by Deleted on Sept 20, 2015 22:25:09 GMT
Another evening, another video uploaded for the Pollomaniacs' enjoyment. This one is filmed, not in the usual plain-looking room, but outdoors. Specifically, at some sort of zoo or animal park. Could these be Zookeeper Willie's stomping grounds? That is unclear. Either way, this is clearly Bug Hour, as zoo handlers are seen handling all manner of bugs in close proximity to an awestruck audience. It is also evident by the black stripe along the sides of the video that this is being filmed from a phone.
At length, one of the handlers approaches the camera, handling a large tarantula. As she walks over, a hand juts out from behind the frame, ready to touch the insect. The zoo handler promptly obliges, placing the tarantula in the cameraman's hand as her eyes travel up, momentarily gazing into the camera.
'Long story', a familiar voice chuckles from off-screen. 'You are never minding, okay?'
The handler grins reticently, but nods in agreement. Seemingly satisfied, the voice enquires:
'What is this one calling?'
'That is a standard Texas brown tarantula', the girl explains, visibly more at ease now that the subject has switched to animals. 'They have a leg span of up to four inches. They're very docile, usually. Just don't make them mad, or they'll prick you. See their hairs?'
The girl turns the tarantula over and points at the prickly hairs on the tarantula's abdomen. 'These will cause a rash if you're not careful.'
'Right. Much thankings', the voice retorts.
'You're welcome', the girl smiles, throwing whoever is behind the camera another look before walking away. A moment later, the shot pans around to reveal the cameraman's identity: none other than El Vainillo, who now addresses his upcoming opponent directly:
'Are you seeing, Willie? El Vainillo is not being afraid of big spiders or no other bugs. El Vainillo is really liking animals, not fake-liking like some peoples are doing. Actually, El Vainillo is liking spiders more than other animals because El Vainillo is being like them. Very nice, is being your friend, no problem. But only if you are not making El Vainillo mad. If you are making El Vainillo mad, El Vainillo stings you. Just like big hairy spider. Malo, from Vainillo's other company? He makes Vainillo mad, and Vainillo stings him. Abigail makes Vainillo mad, and Vainillo is wanting to sting her on Saturday.
Willie, you are not making Vainillo mad yet. Vainillo is getting you. You are underheated, like Vainillo. And you are Supremo Campeón. If you are losing, then people say you are bad Campeón, you are not preserving no belt. El Vainillo is getting it. Problem is...El Vainillo is never losing, neither. And El Vainillo likes being underheated. So, Willie, if El Vainillo is you, El Vainillo is not bringing spiders to lucha...he is bringing rash cream.
For the sting.'
It is on this note that the video abruptly ends.
Final Word Count: 486