Post by Deleted on Sept 20, 2015 20:57:29 GMT
It's a clear night. The moon and the many stars above provide an alluring scene for many a first dates. By the side of a quiet, unlit and open road is our Supremo Champion foreground to a rundown motel. All but one of the parking spaces are unoccupied and it doesn't take a property surveyor to conclude this place is a bit of a shithole. The one occupier of the car park, however, was the Zoomobile; the infamous open top zoo buggy.
The boot of the zoomobile is stacked high with travel bags as Willie is perched against the bumper, a camera in one hand and a steaming coffee in the other.
"It's always good to rest your legs Dex. It's still a long way until San Diego. Willie's just going to speak to the animalites."
A young, energetic chimp didn't need such an invitation. Dexter was already swinging from the buggy's top, on and around the bonnet and generally just being mischievous as he jumped and rolled around the place.
"Animalites, twitch viewers, El Vainillo! That's a beautiful pussy, amigo. Domestic cats aren't my area of expertise but it looks well catered for. Good on you."
Willie's low budget twitch streams are usually pretty bad but we bet the user chat just exploded for El Vainillo's pussy. Very beautiful.
"El Vainillo... I really can't lose to you amigo. Give it your best but me and this little guy we've just simply got too much on our plates."
Metaphorically of course... right? It's a safe bet that everybody's favourite zookeeper actually does have big platefuls.
"The road to being where I am now I've already fought plenty of weird and wonderful. I've fought a beautiful woman by day turned superhero by night, The Mighty Muscle. I've fought a Disney princess, Princess Eisner. I've fought Katy Perry's favourite wrestler, Milo Shufflebottom. I've fought a man from the 1920s, Larry Sangestino... three times!"
It's evident Willie's getting quite, well, 'into the moment'. His forehead sweat seems to be coming back; rumored only to come out if the big man is attempting to use foul language. He takes a few seconds to catch his breath.
"... But I've beaten them all, El Vainillo. Some more than once."
One sip of coffee later.
"I've said it before and I'll say it again. I've been the underdog my entire life, amigo. I've never achieved anything until El Senor and Super Pollo came along. Honestly, I haven't. I've never had a friend and I've never kissed a girl. My mother raised me alone and used to take me to the zoo every weekend. It was great. Lions and tigers and bears oh my. I don't know how to deal with this though, El Vainillo, because I'm not the underdog anymore. The animalites expect me to beat you. Expectation is a mother flipper."