Post by Deleted on Sept 20, 2015 14:46:53 GMT
Ante meridiem; Latin for before noon. Alarm clocks are ringing as the sun rises high above the clouds on a cold autumn's day. Parents sweat about being late for work as they force feed their children cereals, dress them for school and deice the car ready to hit the rush hour traffic. There surely isn't many people who enjoy their morning routines, except Willie of course, who's inside a large steel fenced compound with a trio of scary shit lions and a duo of curious lionesses. Armed only with a bucket of smelly rabbit carcasses you'd think this guy is fucking crazy.
"G'morning! All out of chicken this time but I hear there's an order for some Deer next week."
Without a blink of an eyelid or even the slightest of hesitation our Supremo Champion happily marches through the long grass up to the lion's hut as the enormous cats hastily surround the zookeeper. The occasional grunt and roar would suggest these predators are hungry and as we all know Willie's packing plenty of meat, even if you ignore the rabbit. Nevertheless, astonishingly, Willie is able to walk through the threesome unharmed and toss the bucket of flesh and bone into the feeding box. The lions pounce as the lionesses await the leftovers to be brought to them.
"Now be good Dizzy and eat up. We don't want an episode like last week."
And that was that. Willie turns around and a few metres away perches himself on a few rocks. Despite the cold Willie's doing good in his khaki shirt and cargo shorts. To the amazement of the handful of visitors that are watching on there's no quick dart for the cage door. From the bottom of the bucket Willie scoops up a McDonalds bag and soon enough with a mouth full of cheeseburger thought now was the appropriate time to address his upcoming match. Nutcase.
"El Vainillo. Luchador. I respect you amigo. You must realise you've been given a big debut taking on the Supremo Champ."
It gets a bit awkward when melted cheese starts hanging from the side of Willie's mouth. But thankfully it was just short and sweet from the champ today. Sadly Willie brought his 'table' manners and we were left waiting a good 30 seconds for him to finish chewing... three bites worth.
"Just know one thing amigo. I'm the high flyin', chimp bombin' Supremo Champ. If I'd ever have been to Mexico I'm sure they'd of thought I'm more Mexican than you. I'm just that good amigo. Las araƱas son de color rosa."
Oh dear. Willie was right he's never been to Mexico. He also doesn't speak Spanish. For anyone that does they'll know Willie's just finished his little eat and speech talking about pink spiders.
One of the lionesses approaches Willie to playfully scratch and grind her teeth on his head. Willie rolls into a position of surrender as he strokes the lionesses shoulder. What a fascinating sight.