Post by Deleted on Sept 18, 2015 16:58:05 GMT
Overlooking the evening skyline, Hayden Sensation greeted the camera with his cocktail and a sneer.
"Attention all you dorks on the internet, feast your senses upon the glorious digital presence of the one and only, supremely handsome, self appointed savoir of everything that sucks. Coming straight outta La-La Land, California. It's me; Hayden Sensation! As always, looking sensational, and feeling exactly that as I stand here in my luxury high rise condo, looking at the stars on this hot summers night."
He takes in some air.
"Haven't uploaded to YouTube in a while. I was thinking about perhaps doing my own dear fat people video, then I remembered that Pollomania have a big event coming up next week. The Three Cup Chicken Trios Tournament. So I felt inspired to mark this historic occasion. And no I am not just talking about the tournament. As all my die hard fans should already know; September twenty-third is the exact date, the one year anniversary of my very first match. Can you believe it folks? It's been one whole year and I have not yet been forced out by all of the haters. I am for realz, and only on the up and up. After Tijuana, I've even got an actual championship on my resume, so you all can suck on that too."
Smug grin as Hayden sipped his drink.
"Lucky for me, I get to celebrate this occasion in grand fashion. At Pollomania. By demonstrating my complete mastery of the lucha libre. Since clearly, I'm a complete natural, already picking up my first title in this promotion without even busting out a single move, let alone any cool flippy shit like my patented 930 splash. It's obviously not the main attraction but still, I'm sure, a very big deal to everyone watching as I embark on my singles campaign in this crazy place. Apparently my first opponent, Mascara del Baile, also considers himself the life of the party. Only instead of having a wealth of magnetic charisma and charm, like the Christ of Controversy, Hayden Sensation, he goes around making a fool of himself and gaining undeserved applause by playing the idiot. I don't care for that, and unless it's some hot chick with a great body, dancing is just not cool. Not ever."
Finishing his beverage, he casually smashes his glass on the ground.
"What's cool is having impeccable taste and being a winner."
Laughing obnoxiously, Hayden gestures at himself with his thumb, continuing to rant.
"Something that I have, and something that I will be following this contest. My rookie year is up. Time to start showing everyone I'm a playa and I can kick some serious ass. It's my time to shine. As I can assure will be witnessed by all attending the Pollo Hall in San Diego next week when I dispatch the lord of the dance and his disco hits to the clearance rack, and serenade my great achievements to the sound of yet another sensational victory."
"Attention all you dorks on the internet, feast your senses upon the glorious digital presence of the one and only, supremely handsome, self appointed savoir of everything that sucks. Coming straight outta La-La Land, California. It's me; Hayden Sensation! As always, looking sensational, and feeling exactly that as I stand here in my luxury high rise condo, looking at the stars on this hot summers night."
He takes in some air.
"Haven't uploaded to YouTube in a while. I was thinking about perhaps doing my own dear fat people video, then I remembered that Pollomania have a big event coming up next week. The Three Cup Chicken Trios Tournament. So I felt inspired to mark this historic occasion. And no I am not just talking about the tournament. As all my die hard fans should already know; September twenty-third is the exact date, the one year anniversary of my very first match. Can you believe it folks? It's been one whole year and I have not yet been forced out by all of the haters. I am for realz, and only on the up and up. After Tijuana, I've even got an actual championship on my resume, so you all can suck on that too."
Smug grin as Hayden sipped his drink.
"Lucky for me, I get to celebrate this occasion in grand fashion. At Pollomania. By demonstrating my complete mastery of the lucha libre. Since clearly, I'm a complete natural, already picking up my first title in this promotion without even busting out a single move, let alone any cool flippy shit like my patented 930 splash. It's obviously not the main attraction but still, I'm sure, a very big deal to everyone watching as I embark on my singles campaign in this crazy place. Apparently my first opponent, Mascara del Baile, also considers himself the life of the party. Only instead of having a wealth of magnetic charisma and charm, like the Christ of Controversy, Hayden Sensation, he goes around making a fool of himself and gaining undeserved applause by playing the idiot. I don't care for that, and unless it's some hot chick with a great body, dancing is just not cool. Not ever."
Finishing his beverage, he casually smashes his glass on the ground.
"What's cool is having impeccable taste and being a winner."
Laughing obnoxiously, Hayden gestures at himself with his thumb, continuing to rant.
"Something that I have, and something that I will be following this contest. My rookie year is up. Time to start showing everyone I'm a playa and I can kick some serious ass. It's my time to shine. As I can assure will be witnessed by all attending the Pollo Hall in San Diego next week when I dispatch the lord of the dance and his disco hits to the clearance rack, and serenade my great achievements to the sound of yet another sensational victory."