GREED, GOLD, AND GIZZARDS: An Introduction to Parts Unknown
Sept 13, 2015 2:33:53 GMT
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Post by Eddie Ellis on Sept 13, 2015 2:33:53 GMT
GREED, GOLD, AND GIZZARDS
Shortly after being kidnapped at Chicken or the Egg?…
We open with a static shot of a wintry landscape. If you didn’t know any better you’d think Bob Ross painted this happy little scenery. Our hero and Starburst Scramble winner – El Hijo de Pollo emerges into the shot. His breath has been exhausted and his feathers have frozen over. He swivels his head in multiple directions as if to check for cars before crossing. In doing so, he incidentally reveals claw marks on both cheeks.
RAWWWWRRRRRR
Hijo swings the Parts Unknown Championship over his shoulder and trudges through the knee-high snow. We track a Hijo from behind as he hustles into the white-capped wilderness. He slaps the low-hanging branches from his path. Each step deepens into the unknown. Parts…. Unknown.
A tree root hidden within the snow catches Hijo’s foot. “The Cock of the Walk” takes flight, as does his most prized championship belt. We transition into a slow-motion side shot of Hijo fumbling the PU Championship – which lands several meters in front of him. Hijo army crawls viciously toward the fallen belt. Just as he reaches the strap a giant, hairy foot stomps down on the championship plate. Hijo – knowing damn well what situation he has found himself in but still not giving a fuck – attempts to tug away the belt from under the unrevealed giant’s foot.
“GET OFF YOU DAMN DIRTY APE.”
A hairy fist clobbers Hijo and... DARKNESS.
We open back up in a dank, snowless area. The opening shot reveals the backside of the giant. At this point it can be assumed it is indeed a creature of the Bigfoot Tribe. Swung over one shoulder is the PU Championship and hanging limp on the other is Hijo’s lifeless body. The Bigfoot chucks Hijo’s carcass into a makeshift jail cell made out of branches, Bigfoot dung, and scrap metal. The impact brings Hijo back to reality. As the crippled cock gets to his feet, he realizes that those DAMN DIRTY APES, or a Bigfoot to be exact, has re-captured him. Hijo charges the cell door and shakes it violently.
“WHERE IS IT? WHERE THE FUCK DID YOU TAKE MY CHAMPIONSHIP? ANSWER ME YOU HAIRY FUCK.”
“My hijo-“
El Pollo, El Hijo’s deceased father, emanates from darkness.
“Papa?!"
“You must escape, niño. You must enter the Three Cup Chicken Tournament.”
“Why father? It’s only a trivial tournament with minimal talent. The fucking Three Stooges of wrestling – are you kidding me? I’ve got what matters most in this world, papa – money and the PU Championship.”
“Hijo – you’ve lost sight of what us Pollos were bred for. We are wrestlers – not entrepreneurs or businessmen. You are lucha.”
“I’m… lucha?”
Hijo’s vision of his father begins to fade as he attempts to grasp the remnants of a pleasant hallucination. He falls to his knees and weeps pathetically - yearning for his father's affection.
RAWWWWRRRRRRRRRR
Hijo clenches his fist.
“[Seething] I am lucha.”
TO BE CONTINUED...
Shortly after being kidnapped at Chicken or the Egg?…
We open with a static shot of a wintry landscape. If you didn’t know any better you’d think Bob Ross painted this happy little scenery. Our hero and Starburst Scramble winner – El Hijo de Pollo emerges into the shot. His breath has been exhausted and his feathers have frozen over. He swivels his head in multiple directions as if to check for cars before crossing. In doing so, he incidentally reveals claw marks on both cheeks.
RAWWWWRRRRRR
Hijo swings the Parts Unknown Championship over his shoulder and trudges through the knee-high snow. We track a Hijo from behind as he hustles into the white-capped wilderness. He slaps the low-hanging branches from his path. Each step deepens into the unknown. Parts…. Unknown.
A tree root hidden within the snow catches Hijo’s foot. “The Cock of the Walk” takes flight, as does his most prized championship belt. We transition into a slow-motion side shot of Hijo fumbling the PU Championship – which lands several meters in front of him. Hijo army crawls viciously toward the fallen belt. Just as he reaches the strap a giant, hairy foot stomps down on the championship plate. Hijo – knowing damn well what situation he has found himself in but still not giving a fuck – attempts to tug away the belt from under the unrevealed giant’s foot.
“GET OFF YOU DAMN DIRTY APE.”
A hairy fist clobbers Hijo and... DARKNESS.
We open back up in a dank, snowless area. The opening shot reveals the backside of the giant. At this point it can be assumed it is indeed a creature of the Bigfoot Tribe. Swung over one shoulder is the PU Championship and hanging limp on the other is Hijo’s lifeless body. The Bigfoot chucks Hijo’s carcass into a makeshift jail cell made out of branches, Bigfoot dung, and scrap metal. The impact brings Hijo back to reality. As the crippled cock gets to his feet, he realizes that those DAMN DIRTY APES, or a Bigfoot to be exact, has re-captured him. Hijo charges the cell door and shakes it violently.
“WHERE IS IT? WHERE THE FUCK DID YOU TAKE MY CHAMPIONSHIP? ANSWER ME YOU HAIRY FUCK.”
“My hijo-“
El Pollo, El Hijo’s deceased father, emanates from darkness.
“Papa?!"
“You must escape, niño. You must enter the Three Cup Chicken Tournament.”
“Why father? It’s only a trivial tournament with minimal talent. The fucking Three Stooges of wrestling – are you kidding me? I’ve got what matters most in this world, papa – money and the PU Championship.”
“Hijo – you’ve lost sight of what us Pollos were bred for. We are wrestlers – not entrepreneurs or businessmen. You are lucha.”
“I’m… lucha?”
Hijo’s vision of his father begins to fade as he attempts to grasp the remnants of a pleasant hallucination. He falls to his knees and weeps pathetically - yearning for his father's affection.
RAWWWWRRRRRRRRRR
Hijo clenches his fist.
“[Seething] I am lucha.”
TO BE CONTINUED...