Just A Reminder That You're Facing A Champion
Sept 6, 2015 1:05:29 GMT
ISM Office and Buck U Productions like this
Post by Deleted on Sept 6, 2015 1:05:29 GMT
"Look, I'm pretty awesome. I don't think anyone is denying that at this point."
Grin is standing all by himself in the middle of his messy room. His stained green bathrobe looks like it accepted an offering from every cup of coffee Grin has drank for the past six years. His striped boxer shorts have skid marks in places where boxer shorts should never contact an anus. Oscar The Grouch gets a semi from looking at this slob.
"In under two weeks, I've escalated a tag team match from a simple two-on-two affair, to an international incident - one which is currently turning the Canadian Embassy into a Looney Tunes cartoon. I've been marked for slaughter by an intellectually-insecure skin golem that reeeeeealy wants everyone to know his name is Bruce or something. I managed to bring unprecedented appeal to the use of baked goods as butt darts. I've even tamed more wild critters than our illustrious champion, a zookeeper - and cheated at less children's games along the way. All in a day's work for your friendly neighborhood bum-scratcher"
Predictably, Grin scratches his bum. He then sniffs his fingers. Ew. Grin puts his hand on his hip and speaks:
"And yet, I am but a shadow of what is to come - and the person casting that big scary shadow... is WOODY."
The camera pans slightly. From this new angle, we can see Woody standing behind Grin, in the exact same pose as Grin. There's a dim light behind Woody, so it looks like Grin is in fact Woody's shadow. There's something shiny on Woody's shoulder...
The Pollomania Scramble Championship belt.
The camera cuts to a different angle. Woody is now posing with his arms flexing; Grin's in the same pose. Grin speaks:
"You bigots and haters out there, still having trouble with the very concept of Woody's humanity, are NOT prepared for this company's FIRST... and BEST... two-time Scramble Champion. Your narrow views on life... your backwards brainwaves, farting sweet little lies into your ears... they will not serve you here. You will come at this company's MOST AWESOMEST POLLOMANIA CHAMPION OF ALL TIME, still shackled to the attitude that Woody can't possibly be alive... followed, most ironically, by having the very life beaten out of you by his splintered, sap-stained slappers! By the end, you'll be BEGGING for the sweet release of my Nap Trap, so you can sleep off the shame of your short-sighted hubris!"
Another angle change. This time, Woody is wearing a three-piece suit, Scramble Championship draped over one shoulder. He is looking quite stately. Grin is also in a (significantly dirtier) suit, standing in the same pose. He concludes:
"Holly... Bruce... Charlotte... and whatever gang of lackeys you've added to your motley little crew by next Wednesday... This is officially your last warning. Get ready to start drinking your back bacon and poutine through a straw, because you are ALL about to learn what happens, when you go Against The Grain..."
Fade. To. Shadow.
(final count: 498 words, 4 promo videos, and 1 big round of applause for Buck U Productions for a really fun back-and-forth)
Grin is standing all by himself in the middle of his messy room. His stained green bathrobe looks like it accepted an offering from every cup of coffee Grin has drank for the past six years. His striped boxer shorts have skid marks in places where boxer shorts should never contact an anus. Oscar The Grouch gets a semi from looking at this slob.
"In under two weeks, I've escalated a tag team match from a simple two-on-two affair, to an international incident - one which is currently turning the Canadian Embassy into a Looney Tunes cartoon. I've been marked for slaughter by an intellectually-insecure skin golem that reeeeeealy wants everyone to know his name is Bruce or something. I managed to bring unprecedented appeal to the use of baked goods as butt darts. I've even tamed more wild critters than our illustrious champion, a zookeeper - and cheated at less children's games along the way. All in a day's work for your friendly neighborhood bum-scratcher"
Predictably, Grin scratches his bum. He then sniffs his fingers. Ew. Grin puts his hand on his hip and speaks:
"And yet, I am but a shadow of what is to come - and the person casting that big scary shadow... is WOODY."
The camera pans slightly. From this new angle, we can see Woody standing behind Grin, in the exact same pose as Grin. There's a dim light behind Woody, so it looks like Grin is in fact Woody's shadow. There's something shiny on Woody's shoulder...
The Pollomania Scramble Championship belt.
The camera cuts to a different angle. Woody is now posing with his arms flexing; Grin's in the same pose. Grin speaks:
"You bigots and haters out there, still having trouble with the very concept of Woody's humanity, are NOT prepared for this company's FIRST... and BEST... two-time Scramble Champion. Your narrow views on life... your backwards brainwaves, farting sweet little lies into your ears... they will not serve you here. You will come at this company's MOST AWESOMEST POLLOMANIA CHAMPION OF ALL TIME, still shackled to the attitude that Woody can't possibly be alive... followed, most ironically, by having the very life beaten out of you by his splintered, sap-stained slappers! By the end, you'll be BEGGING for the sweet release of my Nap Trap, so you can sleep off the shame of your short-sighted hubris!"
Another angle change. This time, Woody is wearing a three-piece suit, Scramble Championship draped over one shoulder. He is looking quite stately. Grin is also in a (significantly dirtier) suit, standing in the same pose. He concludes:
"Holly... Bruce... Charlotte... and whatever gang of lackeys you've added to your motley little crew by next Wednesday... This is officially your last warning. Get ready to start drinking your back bacon and poutine through a straw, because you are ALL about to learn what happens, when you go Against The Grain..."
Fade. To. Shadow.
(final count: 498 words, 4 promo videos, and 1 big round of applause for Buck U Productions for a really fun back-and-forth)