Post by Deleted on Sept 5, 2015 11:31:34 GMT
It's a beautiful day. There's not a cloud in the skies as birds chirp, dogs pant and people complain. Scattered across golden sands are many picnic blankets and beach towels weighed down by half naked men and women alike. The children that aren't paddling in the ocean waters are building sandcastles and there's no bigger child than the 270 pound Supremo Champion.
With a plastic spade in one hand and a plastic bucket in the other Willie is knelt before his masterpiece; a castle Tyrion Lannister would be proud of. There's a banner a little further down reading 'Sand Castle Competition - Hotdog for the winner'. Either side of Willie's great feat are many children struggling to tip their buckets upside down and form the most basic of entries.
Parents casting an eye over their children are slightly concerned the big man is taking the fun out of the event but little did they know everybody's favourite zookeeper was actually up to much worse. Dexter, attired in flip flops, Hawaiian swim shorts and blackout shades proved a great distraction for everyone as Willie was scrambling across the beach knocking over any sandcastles that could pose a threat to his winning claim. If this could have been recorded and shown as a montage to the Benny Hill theme it'd be perfect but there was no montage and sadly no Benny Hill theme; it was just a fat old man ruining everybody else's fun and one passerby wasn't too happy about that.
"Hey!"
Willie, on all fours, his right arm ploughed through a lump of sand gazes up at the man who had shouted loud enough for everybody to stop chasing a chimp.
"What do you think you're doing?"
A couple of the adults sunbathing nearby look on in disgrace and the lovely little girl that had turned around to find an overgrown zookeeper on top of her sandcastle bursts into tears. It wasn't a tantrum though, no, it was one of those slow build up cries that cues everyone to go 'Aww'. The worst type of cry.
A man with jet black hair and shiny abs, classic Baywatch, sprints toward. The logo on his shorts would suggest he's on the team that runs the events.
"Sir, what were you thinking? You are disqualified."
As a lady runs over to comfort, what you only would hope is her child, Willie crawls away from the attention and slumps himself on his Minions beach towel. Dexter with nothing to swing on waddles on two legs and perches himself by the side of Willie.
"God damnit, Dex. God damnit."
Willie stretches over to retrieve his wallet and pulls out just $10. He looks up at the sign that reads '2 Hotdogs for $11' and sighs. Who knew? Willie soon notices a queue and another banner that reads 'Volleyball tournament 2v2 - $10 entry - Win $200' that brings out his best Dwayne Johnson impression but it's unfortunately more of an uncomfortable twitch.