Post by Buck U Productions on Aug 27, 2015 17:33:49 GMT
(The following occurs minutes after the tag team match at “Chewed Up”)
In a dark room, somewhere in the basement of the arena, we find two individuals, clothed in completely in red, wearing white masks with tall blue hair, cowering while El Tigre de Jengibre dances around in glee, laughing manically.
ETJ: (singing) “Early one morn, when we were all in bed,
Grin and Woody left a lantern in the shed,
And when the cow kicked it over, she winked her eye and said,
"There'll be a HOT time on the old town tonight."
FIRE, FIRE, FIRE!”
(laughs)
“Oh well done, Thing One and Thing Two. You two have been a great help to me.”
Thing One: (squealing in fright) “You’re very welcome. Please don’t hurt us!”
ETJ: (laughing) “Now why would I ever do that?”
Thing Two: (a bit more brave than his companion) “Because you threatened to burn us alive in our box if we didn’t help you with your puppet show and with that gasoline you had bring you.”
ETJ: (laughing again) “Ah boys, can’t you see I was only trying to motivate you to do your very best. What sort of leader would I be if I didn’t try to push you to excel? And excel you have. Congratulations boys, your hard work is being rewarded! You’re going to be my partners for the Tres Galaxies Trios tournament!”
Thing 1 and Thing 2 stand up straight and hug each other excitedly.
A door suddenly flies open and three individuals walk in.
“HEY BIG BROTHER!”
ETJ: (groaning) “Dear lord, no!”
A bubbly little blonde in pigtails, a blue sundress and combat boots jumps into ETJ’s arms and gives him a hug.
“OH, how I’ve missed you E…”
ETJ: “Holly,” pushing his sister away, “if you so much as utter my former name, so help me I will cut your heart out with a spoon!”
Holly: “That sounds like it would hurt A LOT!”
ETJ: “That’s the point. Now, tell me why you’re here.”
A tall brunette in a gray suit jacket and pants steps forward.
“I brought her.”
ETJ: (laughing) “I’d say, ‘Look what the cat dragged in,’ but I never got the chance. Charlie O’Neal, aren’t you sight!”
O’Neal: (Smiling) “Hello Tiger. I go by Charlotte now. You’re father just hired me as one of his aides. He sends his regards.”
ETJ: “Congratulations! By the way, how is Daddy dearest? Still telling the President of Mexico what to do?” (laughs)
O’Neal: (smirking) “The Ambassador is doing well. He’s the reason why we’re her actually. We’ve been sent to help you win the Trios tournament.”
ETJ: (laughing) “Who, you two? Charlie, Charlie, Charlie, I know you can take care of yourself but there’s no way you and “Giggles” over here could possibly help me win the tournament.”
O’Neal: “Me wrestle? Dear me, no! I’m a representative of the Canadian Embassy in Mexico. I couldn’t possibly get in the ring to compete,” she points over her shoulder to the last remaining person, “but I’m certain his gentleman is more than up to the task.”
A giant in a gray suit and red mask steps forward.
“I am Brute!”
ETJ: “Brutus Smith! How’s the Embassy’s favorite eunuch doing?”
Brutus: (pointing a Holly) “I am Brute.”
ETJ: (falls to the floor laughing) “They have you pulling babysitting duties for my sister? Oh, what a terrible waste of a walking mountain like you.”
Brutus: “I am Brute.”
ETJ: (still laughing) “WHAT VIRTUE!”
Holly: (who was flirting with T1 and T2 the whole time) “Hey, I’ll have you know I’m very virtuous! Daddy says I’m the princess of the Embassy.”
She suddenly squats down and grabs both Things by the groin and squeezes hard. Thing One and Thing Two both scream as pain and slowly sink to the floor.
Holly: “Brutey, this two have are making me feel bad. Hurt them for me, please!”
Brutus: (cracking his huge knuckles as he walks over) “I AM BRUTE!
Holly backs away as Brutus grabs Thing One and Thing Two by the throats and lefts them over his head before slamming them down a pair of wooden pallets. He then straightens his tie and turns to Holly.
Brutus: “I am Brute?”
Holly: (pretending to wipe a tear away) “No, I’m fine. Thank you Brutey for defending my honor.”
She turns to O’Neal.
Holly: “Hey Charlie, would you mind handing me my hockey stick, please.”
O’Neal: (picking up a hockey stick on the floor and handing it to Holly) “It’s Charlotte, Holly.”
Holly: “Yeah, yeah, whatev’s, Charlie.”
She begins smashing Thing One and Thing Two with her hockey stick until Brutus gently pulls her away.
Brutus: (holding out her hand) “I am Brute.”
Holly: “Yeah, ICE CREAM!”
She takes Brute by the hand and skips away with him.
ETJ stands over the beaten bodies of Thing One and Thing Two, laughing.
ETJ: “Well, well, well. Sorry boys, it looks like I won’t be needing you for Tres Galaxies Trios.”
He walks away continuing to laugh.
From a distance we hear Holly yell.
Holly: “Hey, Big Brother, can you introduce me to Grin?”
ETJ: “Why.”
Holly: “Because I hear he has a Woody!” (she starts howling with laughter)
O’Neal: It’s hard to believe the giant who can only say three words is the most sane of those three.”
Thing One crawls over, groaning in pain, and grabs her ankle.”
O’Neal: “Ew, disgusting.”
She reaches in her jacket and pulls out a tazer, bends done and zaps One with it before quickly walking away to catch up with the others.
In a dark room, somewhere in the basement of the arena, we find two individuals, clothed in completely in red, wearing white masks with tall blue hair, cowering while El Tigre de Jengibre dances around in glee, laughing manically.
ETJ: (singing) “Early one morn, when we were all in bed,
Grin and Woody left a lantern in the shed,
And when the cow kicked it over, she winked her eye and said,
"There'll be a HOT time on the old town tonight."
FIRE, FIRE, FIRE!”
(laughs)
“Oh well done, Thing One and Thing Two. You two have been a great help to me.”
Thing One: (squealing in fright) “You’re very welcome. Please don’t hurt us!”
ETJ: (laughing) “Now why would I ever do that?”
Thing Two: (a bit more brave than his companion) “Because you threatened to burn us alive in our box if we didn’t help you with your puppet show and with that gasoline you had bring you.”
ETJ: (laughing again) “Ah boys, can’t you see I was only trying to motivate you to do your very best. What sort of leader would I be if I didn’t try to push you to excel? And excel you have. Congratulations boys, your hard work is being rewarded! You’re going to be my partners for the Tres Galaxies Trios tournament!”
Thing 1 and Thing 2 stand up straight and hug each other excitedly.
A door suddenly flies open and three individuals walk in.
“HEY BIG BROTHER!”
ETJ: (groaning) “Dear lord, no!”
A bubbly little blonde in pigtails, a blue sundress and combat boots jumps into ETJ’s arms and gives him a hug.
“OH, how I’ve missed you E…”
ETJ: “Holly,” pushing his sister away, “if you so much as utter my former name, so help me I will cut your heart out with a spoon!”
Holly: “That sounds like it would hurt A LOT!”
ETJ: “That’s the point. Now, tell me why you’re here.”
A tall brunette in a gray suit jacket and pants steps forward.
“I brought her.”
ETJ: (laughing) “I’d say, ‘Look what the cat dragged in,’ but I never got the chance. Charlie O’Neal, aren’t you sight!”
O’Neal: (Smiling) “Hello Tiger. I go by Charlotte now. You’re father just hired me as one of his aides. He sends his regards.”
ETJ: “Congratulations! By the way, how is Daddy dearest? Still telling the President of Mexico what to do?” (laughs)
O’Neal: (smirking) “The Ambassador is doing well. He’s the reason why we’re her actually. We’ve been sent to help you win the Trios tournament.”
ETJ: (laughing) “Who, you two? Charlie, Charlie, Charlie, I know you can take care of yourself but there’s no way you and “Giggles” over here could possibly help me win the tournament.”
O’Neal: “Me wrestle? Dear me, no! I’m a representative of the Canadian Embassy in Mexico. I couldn’t possibly get in the ring to compete,” she points over her shoulder to the last remaining person, “but I’m certain his gentleman is more than up to the task.”
A giant in a gray suit and red mask steps forward.
“I am Brute!”
ETJ: “Brutus Smith! How’s the Embassy’s favorite eunuch doing?”
Brutus: (pointing a Holly) “I am Brute.”
ETJ: (falls to the floor laughing) “They have you pulling babysitting duties for my sister? Oh, what a terrible waste of a walking mountain like you.”
Brutus: “I am Brute.”
ETJ: (still laughing) “WHAT VIRTUE!”
Holly: (who was flirting with T1 and T2 the whole time) “Hey, I’ll have you know I’m very virtuous! Daddy says I’m the princess of the Embassy.”
She suddenly squats down and grabs both Things by the groin and squeezes hard. Thing One and Thing Two both scream as pain and slowly sink to the floor.
Holly: “Brutey, this two have are making me feel bad. Hurt them for me, please!”
Brutus: (cracking his huge knuckles as he walks over) “I AM BRUTE!
Holly backs away as Brutus grabs Thing One and Thing Two by the throats and lefts them over his head before slamming them down a pair of wooden pallets. He then straightens his tie and turns to Holly.
Brutus: “I am Brute?”
Holly: (pretending to wipe a tear away) “No, I’m fine. Thank you Brutey for defending my honor.”
She turns to O’Neal.
Holly: “Hey Charlie, would you mind handing me my hockey stick, please.”
O’Neal: (picking up a hockey stick on the floor and handing it to Holly) “It’s Charlotte, Holly.”
Holly: “Yeah, yeah, whatev’s, Charlie.”
She begins smashing Thing One and Thing Two with her hockey stick until Brutus gently pulls her away.
Brutus: (holding out her hand) “I am Brute.”
Holly: “Yeah, ICE CREAM!”
She takes Brute by the hand and skips away with him.
ETJ stands over the beaten bodies of Thing One and Thing Two, laughing.
ETJ: “Well, well, well. Sorry boys, it looks like I won’t be needing you for Tres Galaxies Trios.”
He walks away continuing to laugh.
From a distance we hear Holly yell.
Holly: “Hey, Big Brother, can you introduce me to Grin?”
ETJ: “Why.”
Holly: “Because I hear he has a Woody!” (she starts howling with laughter)
O’Neal: It’s hard to believe the giant who can only say three words is the most sane of those three.”
Thing One crawls over, groaning in pain, and grabs her ankle.”
O’Neal: “Ew, disgusting.”
She reaches in her jacket and pulls out a tazer, bends done and zaps One with it before quickly walking away to catch up with the others.