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Post by ISM Office on Aug 26, 2015 8:46:28 GMT
PREVIOUSLY ON POLLOMANIA...
"An ancient mystery comes to life..."
Cut to: Footage of Super Pollo and El Hijo de Pollo, welcoming world-class talent to Pollomania. JUMP-CUT to the lights going out, and Los Pollos turn in slow motion. FADE TO flickering camera lights, through which we can see the ring being surrounded by, I shit you not, a small tribe of Bigfoots. Through a series of rapid jump-cuts, we watch as they pull Hijo out of the ring feet-first, and carry him up the ramp and out of the ring area. JUMP-CUT to Super Pollo, standing in the middle of the ring, helpless.
"A whole new mystery begins..."
Cut to: Chris Hansen, looking into the camera. He says, "I've come to question the people..." JUMP-CUT to just one of Chris Hansen's eyes, as he says, "I will question everyone on this roster..." JUMP-CUT to Chris Hansen's mouth, as he says, "...until I find..." JUMP-CUT to a mega close-up of Hansen's lips, as he says... "Chuckles the Clown"
"And a mysterious new champion emerges..."
Cut to: Jessica Buck stealing The Masked Hipster's bicycle... JUMP-CUT to Socks Fetters hitting the Punch Out Pitch on Jessica Buck. JUMP-CUT to the entrance ramp egg, tapping out Socks Fetters with an ankle lock (sort of). JUMP-CUT to Raisin Branielson "submitting" the egg by fiddling with its electronic remote system. JUMP-CUT to Branielson tripping on Woody when he gets to the ring, followed by The Grin applying Grin Fandango. SLOW-MOTION JUMP CUT to Woody's arm falling across The Grin, scoring a pinfall and becoming the Scramble Champion
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Post by ISM Office on Aug 26, 2015 8:47:49 GMT
In the center of the ring, a ring crew sets up a podium and some patriotic-looking bunting to drape over the ropes. After this goes on for a few seconds, "4th of July" by USA Gal starts to play. The stage-egg cracks open, and out comes El Presidente De Los Estados Unidos, flanked by Miss Murrica and two members of El Servicio Secreto (basically Secret Service guys in all-black luchador masks). He smiles and waves to the fans as he makes his way down to the ring. Near ringside, he even stops to kiss a baby, although it's pretty clear that the mother of the baby didn't ask for this and is quick to pull her baby away.
Once everyone gets to the ring, two members of El Servicio Secreto part the ropes for El Presidente. He climbs into the ring in a stately fashion, and once inside the ring he adjusts his tie and heads to the podium. He clears his throat and speaks:
El Presidente: "My fellow Americans! I have been called upon to speak to ALL of you about the dangers of illegal immigration! This is a very important issue to the voters, and one which I want to address as--"
Suddenly, El Presidente's podium shakes and shimmies! Then a door opens up in the front of the podium, and out flops Woody & The Grin! El Presidente is confused and taken aback (as are most of the people in attendance - how did that furry fat-ass manage to fit both himself and Woody inside that thing?) In the ensuing confusion, Grin is able to grab the microphone from off the podium.
The Grin: "Stop right there! The REAL issue is the rampant and ongoing abuse of, and prejudice against, Inanimate-Americans! There is a system of oppression in this country that lets people like YOUR TRIOS PARTNER El Tigre De Jengibre torture and murder my wooden brothers, WITHOUT consequence, and I want to know what you and your administration plans on doing about that!"
El Presidente looks a bit shocked, but soon regains his composure. He waves off El Servicio Secreto and leans towards the podium mic.
El Presidente: "Senor Grin, I would be happy to discuss this with you later, however I am here to discuss--"
The Grin: "You will discuss it NOW! El Tigre burned a baby Inanimate-American in one of his promos, and then perpetuated the stereotype of Inanimate-Americans as puppets and playthings for the animate-privileged! My wooden brothers are being shamed, tortured, and killed in the streets by bigots like your trios partner! We will NOT stay silent as the animate bourgeois ruling class continues to ignore the plight of the downtrodden dummies, mistreated marionettes, and persecuted puppets of America!"
El Presidente: "Senor Grin, mi amigo, perhaps this is not the best way to go about getting what you want. You see, people do not respond well to--"
The Grin: "WOODY IS SICK OF WAITING TO BE HEARD! THE TIME IS NOW! HASHTAG WOODEN LIVES MATTER!"
Grin then tries to start a "Wooden Lives Matter! Wooden Lives Matter!" chant with the fans. El Presidente sighs and signals to El Servicio Secreto that he is ready to leave. By the time The Grin realizes what's going on, El Presidente is safely away from the ring and 3/4 of the way back to the entrance egg. Grin tugs at his hair in frustration and leans over the top rope, screaming into his microphone:
The Grin: "YOU CANNOT IGNORE US ANY LONGER, EL PRESIDENTE! Tonight, you had BETTER be on the right side of history and do the right thing! WOODEN LIVES MATTER! WOODEN LIVES MATTER! WOODEN LIVES MATTER!"
Grin continues trying to start a chant (with limited success) as El Presidente waves his hands away dismissively and walks backstage. The scene eventually fades out.
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Post by ISM Office on Aug 26, 2015 8:50:58 GMT
AL NOVA vs. NIRVANA
"Dragon Soul" by Vic Migonga blares throughout the Pollo Hall in Los Angeles! MANDARIN: Hello humans! Our opening contest for Chewed Up is scheduled for a single fall, and has a ten minute time limit in place. Introducing first from Boston, Massachusetts. He weighs in tonight at one hundred and seventy five pounds... he is the Purple Dragon - AL NOVA~!Our crowd is hot and gives Al Nova a pretty good pop as he emerges from the giant egg entrance prop wearing his signature white headband. He turns around and high fives (or slaps) the giant egg as both of them have the distinction of being former Scramble Champions, then proceeds to swing his fist up and begins thrusting it along to the song as he jogs down the long entrance ramp to the ring. He stops half way down the ramp, holds his arm steady in the air and side steps the remainder of the way as the lights alternate from dark to light purple. Nova baseball slides underneath the bottom rope and into the ring and climbs up onto the closest corner and thrusts both fists into the air before Cheeseburger's "Winner" interrupts. MANDARIN: His opponent hails from Parts Unknown (and denies any involvement with the Bigfoots that captured El Hijo de Pollo). He weighs in at three hundred and fifteen pounds... please welcome, the Midnight King - NIRVANA~! Our LA crowd just loses it as everyone's favourite geriatric giant emerges from the giant egg and crosses his arms as a bunch more pyro explodes behind Nirvana. All kinds of smoke fills the entrance area as Nirvana smiles and pats the "USA" patch on his jacket before smiling and pointing at Nova inside the ring. He turns around and displays the #OLDMANSWAG patch on the back of his jacket and begins walking backwards down the ramp. He turns around and realizes he still has a large chunk of ramp to go, shakes his head and smiles before continuing down the rest of the ramp normal. He reaches the ring and climbs inside, tossing his jacket to a ringside hand and plays to the crowd briefly before backing into his assigned corner and crossing his arms once more. MANDARIN: GAH-REETINGS~! Welcome to Chewed Up! Our first contest is just about set to begin and features a stylistic mismatch if there ever was one... the 5'10" and 175lbs Nova battling the 6'8" and 315lbs Nirvana. Not to mention the twenty nine years difference in experience!The bell sounds and Nirvana tries grappling Al Nova, but the smaller man knows he needs to avoid any such attempts at all costs if he wants to walk out of here with a victory. He ducks underneath the grapple attempt and goes behind Nirvana, catching him as he turns around with a chop. Nirvana chuckles which causes Nova to deliver several more, but the Midnight King remains unfazed by them. Nova tries to fire off one more but gets poked in the eyes! Referee Smalltooth Jones gets in Nirvana's face about it, but the big man insists he was only trying to grab Nova's arms and the baby oil caused his hands to slip! Jones doesn't buy it and Nirvana doesn't care one bit! He grabs the doubled over Nova by the hair to pull him up straight and headbutts him! Nova falls to the mat in a heap and rolls out to the floor still covering his eyes. Smalltooth Jones abandons the count to go out and check on him while Nirvana crosses his arms to a mixed reaction! The smarks love him and the marks just don't quite know what to make of him!MANDARIN: Nirvana is showing us that you do not go thirty years in the wrestling business taking fan reaction to heart!Jones climbs back into the ring at the request of Nova, who is up on his feet and blinking his eyes rapidly and repeatedly. He shakes his head and climbs into the ring, Nirvana grabs him before he can get up to his feet and tries to hoist Nova up for a bodyslam, but the Purple Dragon wiggles out of it! He lands on his feet and eggs Nirvana on! The Geriatric Giant turns around and swings at Nova who ducks it, rushes forward, springs off the middle rope and comes back with a flying chop! It catches Nirvana square in the head and staggers the big man, but he remains on his feet! Nova runs again, hitting the ropes and coming off with a leaping chop! It has a similar effect but the same result. Nova begins alternating between knife edge chops to the chest and Karate chops to the top of the head but quickly tires himself out. He turns around shaking his chopping hand out to get some feeling back into it and doesn't notice Nirvana stumble and fall back into the corner. He turns around and soon forgets about his hand when he sees what he's done! He shouts RAGING BUFFALO CRASH~! and runs with the rolling senton on his mind. MANDARIN: UH OH! He caught him!Indeed, Nova hits the move but Nirvana absorbs the impact and catches the Purple Dragon to render his Raging Buffalo Crash pretty useless. He hoists him up looking to send him back down nearly seven feet with a powerbomb, but Nova begins furiously chopping the head of the Midnight King. Whether Nirvana is actually feeling the effects or simply tired of being struck in the head so many damn times is unknown. He puts Nova down in a seated position on the top turnbuckle and tries to back away, but gets kicked in the mush! The master of #OLDMANSWAG lets out a very audible "FUCK" as he slinks away holding his jaw. He recovers just in time to see the Purple Dragon majestically soaring through the air like a paper bag caught in an updraft before grabbing in a mid-air facelock and using the transfer of momentum and other terms I'm not all that familiar with to bring the big man down to the mat with a thunderous tornado DDT!MANDARIN: OH MY DARAMMU! Nirvana is down! Nova quickly crawls to make a cover...
1...
KICKOUT!
Nova grabs Nirvana's tree trunk of a leg and tries to roll Nirvana on his stomach, but the giant kicks him off into the ropes. Nova comes roaring back, literally - "POUNCING DRAGON!" and double stomps the leg he just had a hold of. Nirvana yelps in pain and grabs his leg, as Al Nova hits the opposite ropes and double stomps him again! This time to the chest! Nirvana rolls out of the ring onto the long entrance ramp and takes his time getting to his feet. Smalltooth Jones holds Nova back while Nirvana rubs his leg where he got stomped, and then bends it a few times before attempting to walk it off. He turns back toward the ring and says something to Nova that raises his ire! Nova tries to get at Nirvana on the outside, but Smalltooth Jones holds him back so he's unable to do so. Nirvana grabs Nova's head while Jones is struggling to separate them and begins biting! Nova cries out in pain and Jones looks up to see what's going on and of course, the Midnight King denies any wrongdoing! Nova delivers a solid kick to Nirvana's midsection through the ropes causing the big man to back pedal. The Purple Dragon hits the opposite ropes and SOARS~! over the top rope and takes the big man down with a crossbody! Nova wastes very little time getting back to his feet and climbs back inside the ring. He ascends the turnbuckle and patiently waits for Nirvana to get back to a vertical base and when he does, he leaps off but gets caught! Nova kicks and flails trying to slide out of the grip of the geriatric giant but has no such luck. Nirvana walks a few steps to show off his power before hoisting Nova over his shoulder and then running toward the ring!MANDARIN: LAWN DART~!Nova soars back over the top rope into the ring, but not in a way that anyone would argue is fun or tactical. He hits the mat with a thud just shy of the ropes as Nirvana climbs through the ropes to get back in the ring. He covers Nova!
1...
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2-KICKOUT!MANDARIN: As simple and effective as merely tossing your opponent across the ring like a lawn dart or an unruly child may be, it is not exactly a move that I would expect to finish a match. Sure, I imagine it could happen - landing chest first on anything can knock the wind right out of you and make it very hard to muster up enough strength to push another man's body weight off of you in a pinning predicament! Nirvana stands up and wraps his hands around Nova's waist and pulls him off the mat right into a bearhug! Nova goes from trying to catch his breath to having what's left of it sucked right out of him! The Purple Dragon tries to line up a chop to Nirvana's cranium, but the Midnight King squeezes tighter and Nova's arm slowly falls back down to his side. Referee Smalltooth Jones moves in for a closer look and lifts Nova's arm up, and lets it go... it falls. The crowd begins chants of "NOVA! NOVA!" as Jones lifts up his arm once more... and it falls again. The chants grow even louder as a third time, Jones lifts the arm up and it fal---NO! NO! NO! Nova's arm begins shaking! He lines it up and chops the skull of Nirvana! His grip loosens! Nova chops him again! His relinquishes his grip, but reapplies and yanks Nova high into the air and slams him down across his knee with an atomic drop! Nova hops a good four feet in the air and hits the mat in a hurry. Nirvana begins grumbling loudly as he falls down to the mat himself! MANDARIN: OH MY! It appears that in Nirvana's haste to halt Al Nova's momentum that he atomic dropped him with the leg that Nova doubled stomped earlier in the match!Nova tries to get up first, but stumbles in getting to his feet. Nirvana tries pulling himself up using the ropes, but Nova begins peppering his bad leg with kicks! Nova ceases for a moment to charge up a kick, and wallops the Midnight King something fierce! Al Nova begins clapping, rallying the fan support as he rushes across the ring, bounces off the ropes and nearly gets decapitated by a Nirvana big boot! Nirvana, having placed all the pressure on his bad leg to deliver the move, falls back against the ropes feeling the effects. He watches Nova begin to stir, crawling away from the big man (whether he knows that or is a diffeent story). Nirvana limps over, grabs the Purple Dragon in a cobra clutch and yanks him to his feet, swinging him around like a ragdoll high into the air before dropping him down to the mat with a thud! Nova hits so hard he bounces! He rolls out of the ring as Nirvana falls on his ass, holding his knee! Jones begins the count for Nova on the outside as Nirvana slaps his leg, trying to get some feeling back into it. 7... 8... 9... Nova still hasn't moved. 10... 11... 12... 13... Nirvana gets to one knee, being real careful about not applying pressure to it.MANDARIN: One minute remains in the ten minute time limit!14... 15... 16... Nirvana gets back to a vertical base, shaking his leg out. Nova gets up on all fours. 17... 18... He grabs the ring skirt with one arm, trying to grab the middle rope with his other but it's not quite within reach... 19... He grabs it and tries pulling himself up... HE SLIPS! 20! The bell sounds and Nirvana crosses his arms in celebration as Nova crashes back down to the arena floor. Jones raises Nirvana's arm in victory. MANDARIN: It's not the victory that Nirvana envisioned, I am sure of that, but Al Nova showed a tremendous amount of heart in a losing effort. I am sure that a veteran like Nirvana can respect that kind of performance!Nirvana exits the ring and limps down the entrance ramp as Nova pulls himself into the ring and rises to a knee. He fans cheer long and hard for the Purple Dragon!
NOVA! NOVA! NOVA!
He raises an arm to acknowledge the chants before dropping down to the mat and rolling out of the ring.
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Post by ISM Office on Aug 26, 2015 8:55:28 GMT
Darkness.
CHRIS HANSEN: Have you seen Chuckles the Clown?
A single flame illimuninates El Tigre de Jengibre's masked face.
EL TIGRE DE JENGIBRE: Chuckles the Clown? Chuckles the Clown?
He laughs.
EL TIGRE DE JENGIBRE: Nah man. It's like what the Walrus said: The time has come to talk of many things: Of shoes--and ships--and sealing-wax-- Of cabbages--and kings-- And why the sea is boiling hot-- And whether pigs have wings.
He laughs again before putting his face up close to the camera.
EL TIGRE DE JENIGBRE: Run little sheep! The tiger's on the hunt!
Tigre pulls out a blow torch and shows it to the camera...
EL TIGRE DE JENGIBRE: Oh WOODY!
Tigre wanders off laughing.
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Post by ISM Office on Aug 26, 2015 8:56:42 GMT
TRIOS TAG MATCH THE GRIN, WOODY & THUNDERHEAD VS. EL PRESIDENTE, EL TIGRE DE JENGIBRE & BUXX VON TEESE
The camera is focused on the announcer's table, where Mandarin is sitting. Next to him is an unopened bottle of Cluckin' Dew; it's actually been there all night with the label facing out, didn't you notice it before? Mandarin appears distressed.MANDARIN: "I have received some distressing news in regards to the next match! We have just learned that, in response to The Grin's rude interruption of his press conference, El Presidente De Los Estados Unidos has actually left the building. It seems he is refusing to have a match with Woody and The Grin tonight! This means that the trios team consisting of Woody, The Grin, and Thunderhead will have the advantage going into this match!"
3 ON 2 HANDICAP MATCH THE GRIN, WOODY & THUNDERHEAD vs. EL PRESIDENTE, EL TIGRE DE JENGIBRE & BUXX VON TEESE
Suddenly, a hand appears from under the announce table. It hands Mandarin a piece of paper, steals the bottle of Cluckin' Dew, and then sinks away. Mandarin opens the paper and his eyes widen. Mandarin turns to the camera again.MANDARIN: "It appears I have spoken too soon. I have also received word that Thunderhead tried to open his locker room door by using headbutts. When asked why he didn't just try the door knob, Thunderhead reportedly said 'good idea', and then head-butted the door knob. He is currently being rushed to a local medical center in an unconscious state. Staff carpenters expect the door to make a full recovery by next episode. More importantly however, it means this trios match is now a basic tag team match."
SIGH... TAG TEAM MATCH THE GRIN, WOODY & THUNDERHEAD vs. EL PRESIDENTE, EL TIGRE DE JENGIBRE & BUXX VON TEESE
"NAAAAAAAAAA NA! NA-NA-NA-NA-NAAAAAAAA!"The speakers blast "E-Pro" by Beck. The stage egg cracks open, and we see Woody with his arm over The Grin's shoulder, and both have their free arm up in a wave! The Grin then kneels and flexes his arms, before scooping Woody up and giving him a shoulder-ride to the ring! Woody's arm comes down, and The Grin leans in so Woody can get high-fives from the fans. Once they get to the ring, The Grin claps his hands together and then stretches them out, as the crowd cheers."JUNGLE! WELCOME TO THE JUUUUUNGLE! GONNA BRING YOU TO YOUR SHA-NA-NA-NA-NA-NA-KNEES!"El Tigre de Jengibre and Buxx Von Teeze walk out onto the entry way, to the tune of "Welcome To The Jungle" by Guns & Roses. El Tigre drops to one knee and flips off the crowd, while Buxx just paces back and forth looking cocky. As the duo walks down to the ring, El Tigre stops several times to threaten fans with the back of his hand. Both competitors jump up onto the apron. El Tigre springboards of the top rope and rolls into the middle of the ring up to one knee where he once again flips off the crowd. Buxx takes his place over in the corner, immediately grabbing the "tag partner" rope.
Grin hops back and forth from one foot to the other. He turns to Woody and motions that he will be getting things started. El Tigre, meanwhile, is giving Buxx Von Teeze a look like "when the heck did we agree I was starting things?". Buxx just shrugs and leans on the rope, looking disinterested. Grin gets into the center of the ring and squares off with El Tigre. They are now nose-to-nose as referee Smalltooth Jones tries to separate the two competitors.MANDARIN: "The Grin appears to still be very upset about the actions that El Tigre De Jengibre took in his first promotional video - in which El Tigre Del Jengibre set a small wooden doll on fire, and The Grin is now accusing him of having burned a baby."After several seconds, during which it looks like The Grin is about to explode with anger (and El Tigre is being ever-so-cocky), Jones finally separates the two and gets them to take their positions. He makes a "lighting a lighter" motion towards Woody just to further taunt Grin, as Smalltooth Jones calls for the bell. Grin and Tigre tie up in the center of the ring with the collar-and-elbow, with Tigre getting the quick advantage with a wristlock- wait! Grin reverses into a rear wristlock of his own, and then SHOVES El Tigre from behind, full-force, causing El Tigre to flop to the mat! Grin punches his palm with his fist and rushes in to do more damage, but El Tigre swiftly delivers a knife-edged chop to Grin's throat!MANDARIN: "Darammu! It looks like El Tigre De Jengibre was able to rescue himself from that situation quickly! It shall be fascinating to see how he capitalizes on this."Grin stumbles backwards, clutching his fat throat. He manages to stumble all the way to his own corner. When he hits the corner back-first, Woody's arm flops on his shoulder! Grin looks at Woody, then at El Tigre, then at Smalltooth Jones (who indicates that the tag was made). Grin happily helps Woody into the ring, which visibly alarms El Tigre... who swiftly turns around and tags Buxx Von Teeze!MANDARIN: "El Tigre De Jengibre is not eager to deal with Woody just yet, it appears."Buxx looks a little annoyed, and clearly takes his time getting into the ring... wait! Once Buxx has his head through the ropes, El Tigre grabs Buxx's head and spins him around... TIGER SUPLEX!MANDARIN: "Unbelievable! El Tigre De Jengibre just hit his own partner with a devastating finishing move!"After about five seconds, El Tigre tolls under the bottom rope, strutting and flipping off Woody as he does so. Buxx is still laying in the center of the ring, motionless and knocked out cold. Grin seems genuinely confused on how to proceed, so he gets into a "huddle" with Woody to discuss the situation. After several moments, they decide to just finish the match and move on with their lives. Woody "tags" Grin back in, and Grin shuffles his way to center-ring to get this shitshow over with. He picks up Buxx's still-motionless body... GRINSIDE OUT! Grin goes for the pin... 1... 2... 3!!MANDARIN: "The Grin and Woody pick up the victory tonight, but they do not look too happy about it."Grin lets Smalltooth Jones raise his arm in victory, and then goes to look for Woody. Woody is sitting outside of the ring in a folding chair, but is leaning at kind of a weird angle. Grin hops down to the arena floor and approaches Woody, but then stops for a moment and sniffs the air. He looks towards the entrance egg, and sees El Tigre with a barbecue lighter. El Tigre flips Grin the bird one more time, and then touches the lighter to the floor... a streak of fire follows a trail of gasoline to where Woody is sitting... Grin puts two and two together and pushes Woody out of the chair, just as the fire reaches the chair and EXPLODES in a fireball, setting The Grin's bathrobe on fire!MANDARIN: "Great Darammu! We need fire extinguishers to the ringside area right away!"Grin stops, drops, and rolls, managing to get the flaming bathrobe off in the process. After ring crew is finally able to put out the fire, Grin looks up to the entrance ramp, but El Tigre is long gone. Grin picks up Woody and the duo slowly exit the ring area as the scene fades to black.
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Post by ISM Office on Aug 26, 2015 9:00:46 GMT
TUXEDO/REVERSE EVENING GOWN MATCH LARRY SANGESTINO vs. JESSICA BUCK
MANDARIN: Hello humans! Our next contest is the TUXEDO vs. REVERSE EVENING GOWN MATCH! Introducing first from Coney Island, New York. He weighs in tonight at two hundred and ten pounds... he is the Man Out of Time - LARRY SANGESTINO~! "Wild Wild West" by Will Smith begins as lights begin flashing and smoke rises out of the stage. The egg opens up and Larry Sangestino walks out clad in his expensive tuxedo. He holds up both of his arms and flexes his biceps before making his way down the ramp. He wipes the sweat and steam out of his face, but isn't even close to the ring when Candlelight Red's "She's Got the Look" interrupts!LARRY SANGESTINO: THIS IS NOT MY SHOW TUNE! He turns around to see what's going and gets clobbered by Athena! Jessica Buck's bodyguard Pearl Harbours him! She grabs him by the waist of his pants and rushes him down the aisle and tosses him into the ring!MANDARIN: Uh, his opponent... from Oahu, Hawaii. She weighs in tonight at one hundred and fifteen pounds... she is worth every bit the price of your admission - JESSICA BUCK~!"She's Got the Look" restarts and Jessica Buck struts out in a bikini. Notably absent is Lizzy Dalmon and her giant mirror, so Buck simply turns around and looks up at the Pollovision and strikes a couple sexy poses as the male crowd eats it up! She turns around and struts down to the ring, stopping halfway to bend ALL the way over and collect Sangestino's bowtie and put it on herself. By this time, Sangestino has turned the tides on Athena and has her high above his head! He walks over to the ropes and tosses her on top of Buck!MANDARIN: Your referee for this bout is Popcorn Pollo!Popcorn Pollo for some reason is not in the ring yet, but comes rushing down the ramp and immediately ejects Athena! Larry Sangestino applauds and the crowd cheers the decision! Buck gets up and sees Athena being escorted by security to the back and pitches quite the fit! She threatens to punt Popcorn because he's a mini, you know. He tells her to shut up and get into the ring! MANDARIN (back on commentary): Popcorn Pollo laying down the law!The bell sounds and Sangestino locks up with Buck, he immediately applies an arm wringer and drags her over to the corner to retrieve the gown. He grabs it and tries to put her head into it, but kicks him in the shin! Sangestino yelps, and then gets his foot stepped on for good measure! He comically leaps around holding it and then charges Buck in the corner, she ducks out of the way and he crashes into the turnbuckles! Buck runs in with a knee strike to drop him in the corner then begins grabbing at his belt! "The Man Out of Time" squirms, trying to gain wrist control, but if there's one thing a woman will always out power a guy at - it's getting what she wants! Sangestino's belt comes undone, but he uses his leg to kick her off of him! She rolls backwards but gets up and grabs his leg, yanking off his shoe in one quick motion! She holds it up for the crowd to see and then tosses it out to them! Sangestino scrambles to his feet and the two lock-up, Sangestino applies a side headlock and tries a different way - picking up the gown and trying to get her into feet first! MANDARIN: Ah! Larry Sangestino is thinking properly now! He gets her feet in that gown then he can easily dictate her movement and buy himself enough time to pull it up over the rest of her! Buck screams and kicks her feet wildly, Sangestino releases the side headlock and gets SLAPPED~! Buck trips him up, grabs his leg and goes for a spinning toe hold, yanking off his other shoe and then grabs the belt! She slides it out of the loops and begins whipping poor Larry with it! He quickly gets to his feet absorbing as many as he can before shooting in for a takedown! Buck hits the mat hard and the belt flies out of the ring, but the girl who is "Worth the Price of Admission" has Larry in her full guard (or missionary position, if you will!) and seductively runs her hands over Larry's face! The Man Out of Time goes from trying to prevent a whip attack and taking Buck down to the mat to being absolutely smitten by her! She grabs his head and pulls him into Titty City! Larry's arms flail comically as though he's being forced to enjoy it, but Buck removes her hands from his head and his head remains buried in her cleavage! The crowd roars in approval!MANDARIN: Larry Sangestino has got the weekend pass to Titty City!Jessica Buck's seduction works! She grabs the shirt under the coat and yanks it! Untucking it and effectively jerseying Sangestino, she uses her legs to kick him off of her and pulls the shirt and coat right off! He's simply down to his pants and he hasn't even got the evening gown on her yet! Larry Sangestino shakes his head, trying to get his wits about him after his trip between the mountains. He realizes he's one article of clothing away from losing this match and springs into action! He pushes Buck into the corner and begins shoulder thrusting into her midsection! With her briefly subdued, he grabs her by the wrist and whips her across the ring! Upon the return, a big hip toss! She springs back to her feet quickly and gets taken down with a drop toe hold!MANDARIN: He is going for the Time Bender!Sangestino tries to lock Buck's feet up, but she's being increasingly difficult about the whole process! Sangestino decides to abandon the plan for the time being. Buck gets to her feet first, kicks Sangestino in the gut and grabs him in a cravate, runs up the turnbuckle and tries for a Shiranui... but Sangestino flips her onto his shoulder and looks for a powerslam! He runs forward, but Buck slips out the back door, pushes him into the ropes while holding onto a rear waistlock and rolls him up into an O'Connor roll and tries to yank off his pants while he's stunned but Sangestino's squat game is strong and those legs launch her up and into the corner turnbuckle! She stumbles out of the corner and Sangestino gets up, kicks her in the gut and hoists her up for a suplex. He keeps her upside down and the crowd begins counting...1... 2... 3...
4... 5... 6...
7... 8... 9... 10! MANDARIN: Jessica Buck is going to be mighty dizzy whenever she comes back down!11... 12... 13...
Sangestino then holds her up with one arm!
14... 15... 16...
17... 18... 19...
He transitions the suplex into a Gorilla Press! He hoists her up and down, up and down, up and down before slamming her down! He grabs the evening gown and starts at her feet, pulling the gown up her legs and then stopping to lock in the deathlock portion of his Time Bender submission! With her legs taken care of, Sangestino works at putting one arm through the straps of the gown and then tries the other... but she comes to! Buck begins screaming bloody murder! Sangestino remains steadfast in his attempt to win this bizarre match and gets her other arm in the gown! Popcorn Pollo calls for the bell! Sangestino releases the hold and Buck immediately begins tearing herself out of the gown, snapping the straps and kicking her legs trying to get out of it. She trips and falls out of the ring, screaming and almost crying as Athena runs back out and pulls the gown off of her legs! Buck gets up and points at Sangestino, screaming all kinds of hysterical obscenities at him while he simply flexes in celebration! Buck swears revenge as Athena picks her up and carries her off to the back while the former Supremo Champion blows her a kiss and holds up the evening gown!
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Post by ISM Office on Aug 26, 2015 9:03:29 GMT
SUPREMO CHAMPIONSHIP ZOOKEEPER WILLIE (C) vs. MILO SHUFFLEBOTTOM!
The lights go down and the crowd stands in anticipation as "Roar" by Katy Perry begins playing. A lone puff of smoke comes out of the egg, then Milo Shufflebottom emerges! The challenger, dressed in his trademark Katy Perry t-shirt, pink tights and black wrestling boots bounces around on the stage with his arms raised. He takes off his shirt and springs down the long entrance ramp, dives over the top rope and whips his t-shirt out into the crowd! He climbs up in the corner as "Bare Dubstepidies" interrupts. The egg opens up to reveal Zookeeper Willie, the Supremo Champion, and his trusty sidekick Dexter! He leads Dexter over to Mandarin at the announce desk and tells him not to probe him! Mandarin's look is priceless! Willie shakes hands with Mandarin and Dexter before walking back to the ramp where he begins dancing and raving around. Willie makes it to the ring and with the ramp being level height, he tries to imitate Milo's leap into the ring but lands gut first on the top rope and slowly slides in. Willie gets up and shrugs his shoulders to a good laugh. He hands the title to Smalltooth Jones, dusts himself off and takes his corner... MANDARIN: Hello Humans! This match is scheduled for a single fall with a thirty minute time limit and it is for the PMLL Supremo Championship! Introducing first, the challenger! He resides at the Nickelodeon Studios in Orlando, Florida and weighs in tonight at one hundred and ninety pounds.... he is Katy Perry's favourite wrestler.... MILO SHUFFLEBOTTOM! He raises one arm to a decent reaction.MANDARIN: His opponent comes to us from New York, New York. It is a helluva town you know! He weighs in toniight at two hundred and seventy pounds... he is the current, reigning and defending Pollomania Lucha Libre Supremo Champion... ZOOKEEPER WILLIE!Willie steps forward and raises his title high to a thunderous reaction! "WILLIE! WILLIE! WILLIE!" chants begin.MANDARIN: Your referee in charge of the bout is Smalltooth Jones!Milo stands a good four inches higher than Willie, but the Zookeeper has eighty pounds on his challenger. The bell sounds and champion and challenger both lock up and Zookeeper Willie gets the advantage and immediately goes behind with a rear waistlock. Shufflebottom slaps both of Willie's hands simultaneously causing the champion to yell "OW!" and release his grip. Shufflebottom turns around and clobbers him with a psalm strike (totally a palm strike, but I typed it as psalm and it was too hilarious to fix so psalm strike it is) and sends Willie into the ropes. Shufflebottom doubles over in anticipation of a back body drop, but Willie trips over himself yet somehow still delivers a bulldog! The champion rolls his challenger onto his back and covers.
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NO!MANDARIN: Dare I say that Zookeeper Willie might just be the most unorthodox wrestler I have ever laid eyes upon! He does more moves accidentally than he does on purpose! Willie clamps on a side headlock, but Milo Shufflebottom gets to one knee, then two and then a third... just kidding, he gets to a vertical base and delivers an elbow to Willie's gut. Willie's face makes it look like he's had a taco or two for lunch that's not agreeing with his stomach. Shufflebottom nails him with a second elbow to the gut, then a third. Willie staggers back and Milo clocks him with a superkick! The Supremo Champion bounces off the ropes just as Shufflebottom springboards off the opposite set and drops him with a stunner! The Champion goes down and rolls out onto the apron, Milo gets up and tries to drag Willie back in through the ropes, but gets hotshotted over the middle rope! Milo's head bounces off the top rope and he remains hung over the second rope as Willie rolls off the apron, quickly runs up the ring steps and climbs to the second rope... he leaps off for something... but doesn't judge the distance all that well and winds up hitting Milo with a forearm and that's about it! MANDARIN: I mean, I certainly would not dispute it as effective but I have no idea what he was actually attempting!Milo falls back into the ring, and Willie slides in under the bottom rope to make the cover, 1... 2... NO! Shufflebottom kicks out! Willie drags Milo up to his feet and whips him off the ropes, he bounces off the set of ropes closest to him. Willie tries for a spinning heel kick, but Milo ducks it and hits the opposite ropes. Willie gets up and miraciously Matrix dodges another PALM strike attempt from Milo, but falls down in the process. Milo backs up into a corner and waits for Willie to recompose himself and get back to a vertical base and when he does, he rushes in for the Last Friday Night (Yakuza Kick)! Willie catches the boot and spins Milo around, only to eat a palm strike as he comes back around! Willie staggers back into the corner and Shufflebottom rushes at him with the Shining Wizard on his mind, but Willie ducks it and Milo leaps onto the second rope to halt his momentum. He climbs up to the top rope, but Willie shoves him forward and crotches him! Shufflebottom cries out in pain as Willie gets out on the apron, slowly climbs up the ropes and sets up the Chimp Bomb... the crowd goes deathly silent as Willie picks up Milo and wobbles a bit on the ropes but gains his balance and leaps forward! Shufflebottom lands more on his shoulder than his back, but it still looks like a powerbomb nonetheless! Willie covers the challenger!1...
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...MANDARIN: 3!Willie gets up and is handed his championship, Dexter leaps up from the announce table and rushes all the way down the ramp to join his buddy in the ring. Willie grabs him and hoists him up on his shoulders as the crowd loudly chants "WILLIE! WILLIE! WILLIE!" Shufflebottom rolls out of the ring having squandered his chance, while Willie raises the title with his free arm as if to show that he's willing to challenge anyone! Will he defend on September 9th? Tune in to find out!MANDARIN: See you in Tijuana, humans!
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