Post by Deleted on Aug 17, 2015 18:03:26 GMT
Grin is dressed in his finest clothes (a t-shirt with a tuxedo printed on the front, and a bathrobe that’s almost stainless). He is sitting across an office table from Woody, who as we cut to him, is wearing a cornflower blue tie.
Cut back to Grin, who looks at his Casio calculator watch and sighs.
“Still no Thunderhead. Well, I’M just going to get things started! I’m eager to eat some of that pizza our gracious caterers provided before it gets cold!”
Cut to a nearby table. There’s a photograph of a pizza on it. Grin continues.
“I’ve called this meeting so we can share knowledge before planning our trios match strategies at Chewed Up, which goes down LIVE on August 26th! Let’s start by answering questions! Yes, you, the handsome fellow in the red tie!”
Cut to Woody, who is now wearing a red tie. His arms shrug as if he is asking a question. Also, his note-face has a question mark on it.
The Grin nods a few times.
“Honestly, I’m not sure what ‘gingers have no soul’ means, I think it means they can’t appreciate Otis Redding and don’t cry at funerals. Still, El Tigre de Jengibre is one of our three opponents, so we can’t feel sorry for his horrible soul deficiency! We just need to kick the freckles off his pale poop-chute! Next question… YES! You, the smart-looking one in the bowtie!”
Cut to Woody, same pose and question mark note, only now he’s wearing a bowtie, curly wig, and ridiculous mustache. Kind of looks like Gene Shalot.
Grin nods, and responds:
“Full disclosure, we don’t have any intel on Buxx Von Teeze yet. I Googled the last name, but that was all pictures of a half-naked jazz lady. I’m sure we’ll learn more once someone at Pollomania.com gets back from coffee break long enough to get us a bio. OK, any other questions? AH! Of course, how could I forget our celebrity guest star, Donald Stump!”
Cut to Woody, exact same pose, only the note-face shows nothing but a big mouth. Woody is wearing a bird’s nest on his head.
Grin responds:
“Y’know, I’m not really sure what El Presidente plans to do about the illegal aliens working for Pollo Bucket instead of your hotels and casinos. However, thanks to his ambitious push for healthcare reform, he’ll be able to afford the long and painful process of recovery that Team ThunderWoodGrinHead is going to make necessary! Thanks for the question and for your immeasurable aid to the Democratic Party this election cycle! Anyone else?”
There’s a crumpling sound from off screen. Grin turns and sees Woody next to the table. The photo of the pizza is missing, and there’s tomato sauce all over Woody’s guilty-looking note face.
Grin sighs and shakes his head.
“That pizza was supposed to be for everyone, man! What the heck?!”
Then a FedEx Kinko’s employee comes in and tells them that their time is up.
(final count: 498 words, 4 different neckties, and 1 awful celebrity pun)
Cut back to Grin, who looks at his Casio calculator watch and sighs.
“Still no Thunderhead. Well, I’M just going to get things started! I’m eager to eat some of that pizza our gracious caterers provided before it gets cold!”
Cut to a nearby table. There’s a photograph of a pizza on it. Grin continues.
“I’ve called this meeting so we can share knowledge before planning our trios match strategies at Chewed Up, which goes down LIVE on August 26th! Let’s start by answering questions! Yes, you, the handsome fellow in the red tie!”
Cut to Woody, who is now wearing a red tie. His arms shrug as if he is asking a question. Also, his note-face has a question mark on it.
The Grin nods a few times.
“Honestly, I’m not sure what ‘gingers have no soul’ means, I think it means they can’t appreciate Otis Redding and don’t cry at funerals. Still, El Tigre de Jengibre is one of our three opponents, so we can’t feel sorry for his horrible soul deficiency! We just need to kick the freckles off his pale poop-chute! Next question… YES! You, the smart-looking one in the bowtie!”
Cut to Woody, same pose and question mark note, only now he’s wearing a bowtie, curly wig, and ridiculous mustache. Kind of looks like Gene Shalot.
Grin nods, and responds:
“Full disclosure, we don’t have any intel on Buxx Von Teeze yet. I Googled the last name, but that was all pictures of a half-naked jazz lady. I’m sure we’ll learn more once someone at Pollomania.com gets back from coffee break long enough to get us a bio. OK, any other questions? AH! Of course, how could I forget our celebrity guest star, Donald Stump!”
Cut to Woody, exact same pose, only the note-face shows nothing but a big mouth. Woody is wearing a bird’s nest on his head.
Grin responds:
“Y’know, I’m not really sure what El Presidente plans to do about the illegal aliens working for Pollo Bucket instead of your hotels and casinos. However, thanks to his ambitious push for healthcare reform, he’ll be able to afford the long and painful process of recovery that Team ThunderWoodGrinHead is going to make necessary! Thanks for the question and for your immeasurable aid to the Democratic Party this election cycle! Anyone else?”
There’s a crumpling sound from off screen. Grin turns and sees Woody next to the table. The photo of the pizza is missing, and there’s tomato sauce all over Woody’s guilty-looking note face.
Grin sighs and shakes his head.
“That pizza was supposed to be for everyone, man! What the heck?!”
Then a FedEx Kinko’s employee comes in and tells them that their time is up.
(final count: 498 words, 4 different neckties, and 1 awful celebrity pun)