Post by ajknight on Nov 24, 2018 5:03:47 GMT
Bells of the Black Friday:
Matt Pulver: Ladies and Gentlemen welcome to Bells of the Black Friday, I’m Matt Pulver!
Eli Buchanan: And I’m Eli Buchanan! We’ve got quite a card ahead of us tonight! And let’s kick it off with a Pollomania Classic! A Chicken Scramble match!
“Fire by Scooter” hits the speaker and out to the ring marches “The Mighty Python” Sen Oka the first entrant of the Chicken Scramble, laying in the corner waiting for his opponents.
Matt Pulver: Sen Oka is a Jr. Heavyweight submission specialist from Japan, looking to pick up a win in this match here tonight.
Eli Buchanan: I’ll be honest, this match does not lend itself well to his skill set, in frantic matches like this submissions are hard to come by.
“Mach 13 Elephant Explosion” hits the speakers and “The God Beast” Mushigihara marches down the ramp and glares a hole through “The Mighty Python”
Matt Pulver: The Iron Road Winner Mushigihara is quite possibly the strongest man I’ve ever stepped in the ring with, it’s going to be hard to beat that in a free for all.
Eli Buchanan: True but you also have to consider that he’s going to have a huge target on his back just based on his size.
The moment “Send it Up” starts playing a chorus of boos and a sea of middle fingers accompany it. Rafa Whatley heads to the ring returning the favor to the fans as he rolls in joining his opponents.
Matt Pulver: I don’t think I’ve ever heard somebody so hated anywhere in the world…
Eli Buchanan: You should have seen me in 2015…. Anyway Rafa recently came within inches of ending the Heritage Title reign of Bam Markham in Lion’s Road. Highly impressive for someone less than a year as a pro.
“Release the Panic” plays and out struts Samantha Tolson, looking confident at the challenge she’s about to face.
Matt Pulver: Here comes Samantha Tolson, a master of all forms of Suplexes!
Eli Buchanan: It takes one to know one, and let me tell you she definitely is one!
“Fight it out” Signifies the return of JT Saint! The audience goes nuts as the returning superstar hits the ring!
Matt Pulver: A high flyer of the highest caliber, here comes JT Saint!
Eli Buchanan: Usually not on the good side of the fans, but a good return always gets the blood pumping!
“World on Fire” roars across the speaker and out marches the Not the Heritage Champion, The Mysterious Luchador Who is Not Bam Markham!
Matt Pulver: Now the Heritage Champion is here!
Eli Buchanan: No he doesn’t, you’re thinking of Bam Markham.
Matt Pulver: Eli that’s clearly Bam Markham!
Eli Buchanan: Then why is his name NOT Bam Markham?
You can practically hear Matt’s eyes rolling, as Eli breaks down the rules of the match:
Eli Buchanan: The rules are as follows: This match will have a 15 minute time limit. There will be no DQs, No Countouts, and falls count anywhere. It’s a free for all, once a fall is scored, it basically becomes hardcore tag. Whoever scores the fall is “it”, until they are pinned or submitted. Whoever’s “it” at the end of 15 minutes, will win.
The Bell rings and everyone’s fighting somebody! Sen Oka and Samantha Tolson are exchanging in the corner! Mushigihara and JT Saint spill out to the floor, while Rafa Whatley comes right after Not Bam Markham! Mushigihara attempts to toss Saint into the rail, but he slingshots over it before springing off of it into a crossbody- Which The “God-Beast” catches… And hurls him 3 rows deep! Rafa and Not Bam Markham proceed to trade heavy blows, but Not Bam Markham cuts him off with a knee lift to the gut! But Rafa shoots back with a hard headbutt!
Matt Pulver: Those two continuing right where they left off for the Heritage title!
Eli Buchanan: How many times do I have to explain it to you? That’s NOT Bam Markham!
Matt Pulver: This is already getting old and we’re two minutes in …
Sen Oka, looks to hook in a rear naked choke- But Samantha Tolson walks off the turnbuckles- Bret Hart roll! 1-2-3! The first fall comes at 12:47! Samantha Tolson raises her arms in celebration! Inside cradle by Oka! 1-2-3! Sen Oka scores the fall at 12:32! Oka rolls out to the floor! He’s heading to the back, trying to take his win here and leave! He runs into Mushigihara, who hoists him up and nails Holy War on the floor! 1-2-3!! Mushigihara is “it” at 11:56! Samantha Tolson hits the much larger Mushigihara with a dive to the floor, sending him back into the guard rail! She throws some chops which just seem to annoy him before he nails a Belly to Belly Suplex tossing her into JT Saint!
Matt Pulver: Mushigihara now in firm control! I think Sen Oka might be dead after that powerbomb! Three falls already!
Eli Buchanan: There’s nothing like a Chicken Scramble match!
Mushigihara rolls back inside the ring where Not Bam Markham and Rafa are still slugging it out. Mushigihara blasts him from behind with a clubbing forearm across the back! The two lift Rafa up overhead… AND TOSS HIM THROUGH OVER THE ROPES AND INTO TOLSON AND SAINT!!! The two monsters revel in their handiwork as the audience as chants of Holy Shit echo through the arena, soon their attention turns to one another as they challenge one another to take each other on.
Matt Pulver: What a feat of strength! These two are ruling the ring! And now we have a preview of the upcoming Heritage Title match!
Eli Buchanan: No we don’t…
Matt Pulver: Would you stop!?
Mushigihara starts unloading with palm strikes on Not Bam Markham driving him back, but the masked man fires back with a headbutt! The former sumo wrestler is driven back to the corner! He elbows Not Bam Markham in the side of the head sending him into the ropes unloading the palm strikes again! Double Arm Suplex sends him flying! Mushigihara charges him, but he gets cut off by the big boot! But he’s still on his feet as he nails the forearms on Not Bam Markham! Meat Hook knocks him flat on his ass! He’s looking for the Not Bam Bomb! Mushigihara fights it off! Rafa, Tolson and Saint hit the ring again and start attacking the two of them! Meanwhile Sen Oka has still not moved! Tolson hits a flying Knee to the back of Not Bam Markham’s head sending him back to the mat!
Matt Pulver: 9 minutes to go, and now Mushigihara is in trouble 3 on 1 against these three!
Eli Buchanan: He seems to have pissed them all off big time too! You know what they say about Paybacks.
Superkick from J.T Saint on Mushigihara! Tolson nails a lariat which hardly moves the big man! She tries a second that shakes him! And Rafa finishes the job with a Spear! Down goes Mushigihara! Saint tries to steal the pin, but Rafa tosses him through the ropes before the ref can even get to one! Tolson German suplexes Rafa and goes for the pin on Mushigihara! 1-2-Kickout with authority! Mushigihara charges but Tolson ducks it! Drop kick to the knee! She runs off the ropes and hits a jumping knee! Comes out of nowhere with a fallaway slam on Tolson! He grabs Mushigihara… Hoists him up… Death Valley Driver! JT Saint hits the ring with a chair! He nails Whatley across the back with it! And one for Tolson! He blasts Not Bam Markham with it! A wobbly Mushigihara comes up and he gets nailed with it! Saint goes up top! 630 Senton! 1-2-3! Saint takes the fall at 7:23!
Matt Pulver: And the giant is toppled! Halfway through now and he’s almost home!
Eli Buchanan: Yeah but it’s easier said than done especially in a match like this.
Not Bam Markham rises from the mat and swats the chair out of his hand and lunges for Saint who vaults over the ropes to the apron. Not Bam swings at him but he ducks down and slides between the legs of Not Bam- Dropkick to the knee! Not Markham goes down! Springboard dragonrana attempt is caught by Rafa Whatley… He’s looking for the Death Valley Driver… Saint escapes and rolls out to the floor! He starts heading for the ramp, but he gets tripped… Sen Oka’s alive! The Constrictor is synched in!-SAINT TAPS OUT!!! Oka takes the fall at 6:12!
Matt Pulver: Sen Oka comes back in a big way!
Eli Buchanan: With six minutes left on the clock he’s finally back into the match, but he’s got to be feeling the spiral bomb on the floor still.
Not Bam Markham’s attention immediately turns to Sen Oka who crawls underneath the ring trying to avoid the mysterious Luchador’s wrath. Not Bam reaches underneath the ring to grab Sen who comes up on the other side before jumping on his back for a rear naked choke! Not Bam is marching trying to get him off… ODA A MEXICO!! TOLSON SENDS THEM ALL CRASHING THROUGH THE TIME KEEPER’S TABLE!!! COVER ON OKA 1-2-3!!! Tolson gets it back at 5:29! Rafa Whatley pulls her out of the wreckage of the table and throws her into the post! She slides back in the ring!
Matt Pulver: No rest for the weary here tonight, each fall someone’s right on them!
Eli Buchanan: It also probably doesn’t hurt that she took herself out there too!
Rafa’s right on top of her, and he pulls her to her feet… Black Flag! 1-2-3!! Rafa takes it at 5:03! Mushigihara is back up and blasts Rafa with a Uranage near the corner!! Death Star!! Running Slingshot splash connects! 1-2-Kickout by Rafa! Mushigihara pulls him up in an Argentine Backbreaker position! Atlas Cutter… NO! Rafa lands on his feet! Chop block! Running boot to the back of Mushigihara’s head! Sen Oka leaps back into the ring!! Python’s Maw on Rafa! He taps out!! Sen Oka’s got it at 3:42!! J.T Saint hits the ring again! Lake Shore Driver!! 1-2-3!! 3:31 and Saint takes it! Saint turns around… Into The Not Bam Bomb! 1-2-3!!! Just like that Not Markham takes it at 3:22!
Matt Pulver: The Chaos here just keeps on growing larger and larger!
Eli Buchanan: We’re in the closing stretch Matt! It only gets bigger from here!
Mushigihara shoulder tackles Not Bam Markham, which sends him backwards into the ropes, and right back at Mushigihara, who doesn’t even move! Palm Strikes stagger the Luchador… WHO responds with clubbing forearms on the head and shoulders! Mushigihara charges forward… Not Bam Markham ducks sending him over the top rope! Samantha Tolson starts lighting him up with chops and kicks! Not Markham shoves her backwards… The Luchador attempts a Tilt-a Whirl Headscissors…
… Attempts being the keyword as he just kind of awkwardly bowls her over…
Eli Buchanan: I can’t believe such a seasoned Luchador had such a screw up!
Matt Pulver: I can’t believe you’re actually buying this getup…
Not Bam Markham tries to kip up… It doesn’t work… He tries again… It still fails so instead he just stands up, hoists up Tolson… And nails El Idiot Toss into J.T Saint! They both crash to the floor! Sen Oka tries to grab a heel hook… Not Bam just stomps him before he can take him to the mat! Mushigihara is coming back up on the apron… Spear by Rafa Whatley sends him into the rail! With a minute left on the clock we’re down to Rafa and Not Bam Markham!
Matt Pulver: It all comes down to this, after everything we’ve seen who will leave the winner?
Eli Buchanan: I don’t know but this is for sure: It won’t be Bam Markham.
The two immediately go back to exchanging strikes! Rafa starts to gain ground pushing Not Bam Markham into the ropes… The Not Meat Hook! He hoists Rafa up, he’s in position for The Not Bam Bomb… Sen Oka comes in… big boot from Not Bam… Rafa drops down… School boy! 1-2-3!!
Rafa Whatley rolls to the floor as the bell rings!!!
Matt Pulver: I don’t believe it! Rafa Whatley wins it!
Eli Buchanan: He picked his spot well and he has his hand raised now!
Whatley raises his hand in triumph at the top of the ramp, greeting the boos of the fans with a good old fashioned middle finger for them all.
Winner: Rafa Whatley @ 15:00
Matt Pulver: Classy as always from Rafa Whatley following a big win.
Eli Buchanan: You sound surprised, and now we’re on to our next match of the night.
Matt Pulver: Well, AJ’s always believed in young talents getting tested early and often, and tonight Red Tiger Kid, takes on one of the pound for pound best in Billy Danielson.
Eli Buchanan: Let’s go Tiger!
Matt Pulver:... Way to keep it impartial.
“Maximum the Hormone” hits the speakers with Red Tiger Kid heading down to the ring, slapping hands with the fans. As he heads towards the commentary desk Eli leans in seemingly giving him last minute advice, he rolls into the ring and stars up at the entrance ramp.
Matt Pulver: I think this will be the biggest test of his young career, but he seems calm and composed.
Eli Buchanan: He’s got bearing beyond his years and no doubt he’ll give Billy a run for his money tonight.
“Bad Guy” heralds the arrival of Billy Danielson, who is mouthing off about the fact that he’s up so early in the card, while Binky is ahead of him on the card. Billy Danielson starts questioning the referee about who let a shitty cosplayer in the ring with him, as he looks at Red Tiger Kid. The fans are not appreciative of Billy’s candor… Neither is Eli...
Eli Buchanan: Oh you cocky son of a bitch…
Matt Pulver: Eli! Come on, language!
As soon as the bell rings, Red Tiger Kid extends the hand to Billy Danielson, who acts like he’s going to shake it before pulling his hand back at the last second wagging his finger at kid. The two lock up… Kid immediately turns it up into a victory roll! 1-2-Kickout! Danielson comes back up and charges in… Armdrag! And another, headscissors take him down again! Billy Danielson rolls out to the floor, trying to collect himself.
Matt Pulver: Kid’s off to a good start, he’s got the veteran off balance!
Eli Buchanan: That’s what you get when you take him lightly!
Billy rolls back into the ring and looks for the lock up again, but blasts Kid with a chop before he can make contact. He places kid in the corner and starts unloading machine gun style until he slumps down! He pulls Kid back out of the corner before blasting him with a belly to belly suplex before making a cocky cover with just a hand on his chest for 1! Danielson drops a knee on the face of Red Tiger Kid!
Matt Pulver: Billy’s doing what he needs to do here, take the younger fighter’s courage.
Eli Buchanan: It’s going to take much more than that! Kid’s got a lot left in the tank!
Kid is pulling himself to his feet, and Billy uncorks a massive kick across his back! Kid grimaces as Billy pulls him up and blasts him with a powerbomb! Another cover, this time with two hands on his chest 1-2-Kickout by Kid! Billy just seems to be annoyed at the persistence of his opponent, he pulls him up and blasts him with a Chicago Blackout! Kid is down to a knee… and eats a second one! Cover 1-2-Kickout! Billy shakes his head and places Kid’s right against the middle turnbuckle… He picks up steam for the Chicago Blackout… Kid moves! The ring shifts as Billy’s knee crashes of the turnbuckle sending him to the mat!
Matt Pulver: A costly error from Billy, he put everything he had on that, and came up empty.
Eli Buchanan: Come on Kid! Stay on him! Make him pay for it!
Billy pulls himself back up, before taking a drop kick to the knee by Tiger! He grabs Billy’s leg… Dragonscrew Legwhip! He keeps on it but Billy pulls himself to the ropes. Tiger backs off and Billy shoots in for another lock up but this time it’s Tiger who avoids it and takes his back… Jumps up… Reverse Hurricanrana! Tiger goes up top… He’s signalling for the Supreme Flaming Legdrop of Doom!!! Billy rolls away from the corner, just out of range for that move… Meteora!! 1-2-Kickout!! The crowds going nuts as Tiger points over to the corner, signaling for the Supreme Flaming Legdrop of Doom! Billy pulls himself back to his feet… He lunges in for another Chicago Blackout- But gets caught with the Pele Kick! He falls in perfect position for it!
Matt Pulver: Listen to this crowd! They want to see the upset here tonight!
Eli Buchanan: YES!! GO!! GET UP THERE!! MAKE YOURSELF FAMOUS!!!
Kid’s perched up top the crowd’s on its feet… He leaps off for The shooting Star legdrop… Billy moves! Danielson pulls himself back to his feet and absolutely murders him with a Chicago Blackout! He hoists him up… One Fall! 1-2-3!!
Eli Buchanan: Damnit! So close!
Matt Pulver: A spirited effort from Red Tiger Kid, but it was not to be on this night.
Winner: Billy Danielson @ 8:23
Eli Buchanan: His performance tonight was well beyond his years, and he’ll only get better.
Danielson heads up the ramp to the boos of the crowd as he announces that Kid is not in his league. Kid comes up to his knees, clearly disappointed by the loss, The crowd begins applauding him and chanting “Kid, Kid, Kid” He comes up to his feet as the fans give him a standing ovation. He heads to the back as the crowd gets set for the next match.
Matt Pulver: Now, onto the strangest match of the night, by far.
Eli Buchanan: A bear, an alien & a redneck get in the ring. If that’s not a bad joke, I don’t know what is. And we have a fourth participant who we still don’t know! Let’s go to the ring!
“Invaders from Mars” hits the speakers immediately followed by the entrance of Zarganax the Intergalactic Conqueror, the cult favorite from Pollomania receives a standing ovation for his in ring return!
Matt Pulver: You know this might sound crazy, but I’ve always felt a connection to this guy…
Eli Buchanan: You’re right, that is crazy you should seek professional help.
Jason Cashe charges to the ring as “ATLiens” comes on! He slides in, before leaning over the ropes towards the ropes shouting “Bring me Binky!” drawing a huge pop from the crowd!
Matt Pulver: This madman actually wants to fight a bear…
Eli Buchanan: I know right? I’ve been waiting for this all week! Popcorn?
Eli is audibly eating popcorn as Binky marches down to the ring letting out a mighty roar, that draws a shocked gasp from the crowd, he steps into the ring, drawing a nervous look from Zargnax, but Cashe just stares right through him.
Matt Pulver: And we still have one more to go.
Eli Buchanan: I just received word, I can’t tell you who it is, but I can tell you who it isn’t…
Matt Pulver: I think I know where this is going.
Eli Buchanan: And that is Bam Markham!
Matt Pulver: Here we go again…
Out to the ring marches Not Bam Markham, who suspiciously looks to be about 40 pounds lighter than he was earlier, he’s flexing his muscles staring a hole specifically at Cashe, who doesn’t seem to notice due to his focus on Binky.
Matt Pulver: I don’t think that’s the same guy from earlier tonight…
Eli Buchanan: How can you tell behind that mask?
Matt Pulver: I’m not getting paid enough for this…
The bell rings and Cashe immediately comes nose to nose with Binky… Or at least something close to that, as Binky, being a bear, is considerably taller than him. Not Bam Markham gets in between them and grabs Cashe and shoves him! Cashe begins to question what the hell his problem is… Only for Binky to nearly remove his head with a massive swipe across the back of his head. Not Markham goes staggering out through the ropes, seemingly completely out. Zargnax glances over seemingly freaked out as Not Bam appears to be totally out. Cashe and Binky are nose to nose until Cashe dropkicks Zargnax out of the ring. For his part Zargnax doesn’t seem too upset about being out of the ring…
Matt Pulver: Here’s the match everybody’s been waiting for…
Eli Buchanan: I know right? This is going to be great! Are you sure about not wanting popcorn?
Cashe hits the ropes and nails a clothesline on Binky who doesn’t even budge, he follows up with another, and another, and another… Binky’s still not budging, and another, and another, still another, Binky’s just looking bored… And another, another, and another yet again! Now Binky looks annoyed… Yet another clothesline… He’s still trying it….
Matt Pulver: He’s persistent, I’ll give him that…
Eli Buchanan: I’m just waiting for Binky to get tired of this…
The popcorn crunching continues, as Cashe is finally out of breath and Binky shoves him to the mat! Cashe almost goes completely out of the ring but catches himself on the ropes, he seems as though he’s quite surprised, but jumps up and locks up with Binky, who also seems surprised but ends up just wrapping his arms around Cashe in a Bearhug, before ultimately tossing him aside letting out another fearsome roar. Cashe again gets up fearlessly, and ascends to the top rope, nailing a Double Axe Handle on Binky, who again by virtue of being a bear is mostly unaffected. Cashe attempts a vertical suplex!... Yeah that’s not happening… Scoop Slam?! … Also no… Strawberries… Yes you saw that right he’s trying to make fart noises on a bear…
Matt Pulver: There’s a line between bravery and stupidity….
Eli Buchanan: It’s Cashe, stupidity is what he does...
He gets a hold of Cashe again, Cashe throws a series of rights he’s not backing down in spite of battling Binky but to no avail! In comes Zargnax, who gets swatted aside by Binky! Laying on the mat, his exo suit starts twitching, until suddenly…
BOOM!!
Matt Pulver: Oh my God!
Eli Buchanan: Oh no, we might need help…
Zargnax’s arm cannon goes off felling Binky! All eyes turn towards Zargnax who proceeds to hide the cannon behind his back… The fans start chanting “You Killed Binky” at him, but he is shaking his head vehemently, denying it.
Matt Pulver: I can’t believe what I’m seeing….
Eli Buchanan: When PETA hears about this there’ll be hell to pay…
Zargnax gets up with Cashe pointing right at him, the two of them lock up, and Zargnax pushes Cashe back into the corner… Cashe attempts a Bell Clap to get off the ropes… But it has little effect as Zargnax’s ears are not where Cashe expected… He tries bell claps at multiple trajectories until one finally seems to work! Irish whip on Zargnax, the two criss cross on the ropes several times Cashe stops it!
“Stop! What’s That!?”
Zargnax looks up, before getting slapped in the face! Zargnax returns the favor! Cashe gives one back! Zargnax stomps on Cashe’s foot! Cashe returns the favor but finds it totally ineffective… Zargnax reminds him that’s not his real foot… Before stomping on Cashe’s other foot! Zargnax hits the ropes… Mark of J.A.S.O.N! Down goes Zargnax! 1-2-Kickout! Cashe comes after him again but Zargnax pulls out a time warp ray… They’re both going in slow mo now...
Matt Pulver (In slow motion): And now Zargnax has used another gadget to turn the flow of the bout…
Eli Buchanan (In slow motion): I can’t believe it’s actually working…
Slow motion headbutt… Zargnax staggers back… Zoglorpian chop from the Intergalactic conqueror… Cashe nails a shoulder tackle… Zargnax goes back to the ropes and hits one of his own… His suit stops working… And he falls flat to the mat... Cashe stands in triumph…
Eli Buchanan (Still in Slow Motion): I knew it was just a matter of time until one of his gadgets stopped working….
Matt Pulver (Also Still in Slow Motion): Tragic Setback for Zargnax… Wait a minute…
BINKY SITS UP LIKE THE UNDERTAKER!!! … In slow motion… He looks at Zargnax, who looks to be panicking… Cashe tries to advance on him… But gets sprayed in the eyes with Chemo-Molecular Hostile Subduement Compound X (or you know… Asian Mist for those of you who don’t know what the hell that is…) Zargnax starts to fix his suit as Binky comes in pursuit of Zargnax… Cashe backpedals into Binky… He feels something furry behind him… He sighs as he realizes who it is, and he is swatted aside by Binky the Wrestlebear… Binky starts chasing Zargnax… as somebody in the back decides to play “Chariots of Fire” as Zargnax attempts to escape certain doom in slow motion…
Matt Pulver (Yet again in Slow motion): I don’t quite know what to make of this…
Eli Buchanan (Ditto): … Yeah I don’t know what to add here…
Zargnax dives out of the ring as Binky lunges a him… And the Slow mo wears off as Binky dives out after him! … And somebody in the back decides to play Yakety Sax as the chase is on! They’re running all around the ring! They go up the ramp, and back down again! Zargnax jumps into the crowd but Binky’s not giving up! Security is now joining the chase as the two end up backstage…
Eli Buchanan: I’m watching a bear chase a space alien all around the arena on an event held on Black Friday, to be headlined by an international superstar fighting a giant eunuch… There’s something I never thought I’d say…
Matt Pulver: I think I hit my head harder than I thought…
Backstage the chase has gone into catering and has seemingly drawn Billy Danielson into it trying to restrain Binky! Danielson jumps on Binky’s back but gets thrown off and into a table of pies! Zargnax uses yet another ray… Seemingly calming down Binky, saying sleep… And Binky does! The mind control ray!
Matt Pulver: Well that was exciting…
Eli Buchanan: He’s covered in pie!! Hahaha! This is great!!
Back in the ring Cashe seems to have recovered Seeing no one else there he thinks he’s won! He’s celebrating!… but Not Bam Markham is standing behind him though… Screwdriver!! Wait a minute!!! Not Bam Markham unmasks… It’s Hammerstein!!
Eli Buchanan: See I told you it really wasn’t Bam Markham!!
Matt Pulver: Unbelievable…
Cover!! 1-2-3!! Hammerstein grabs the microphone and leans in towards Cashe
Hammerstein: Happy Holidays Jason…
Winner: Jacob Hammerstein @ 11:23
Meanwhile backstage Billy is using a forklift to get Binky back into his trailer, he locks the door as Binky wakes up and begins roaring and pounding on the door! Danielson wipes some pie off himself muttering under his breath:
Billy Danielson: ...I loan him my bear and this is the thanks I get…
Matt Pulver: Well I can safely say I’ve never seen a match like that before… and I kind of hope I never do again…
Eli Buchanan: Oh boy you never would have survived in Pollomania Matt…
Hammerstein celebrates walking to the back as the ringside attendants help Jason Cashe to the back, while we prepare for our next match.
Matt Pulver: Up next we have a match between the first King of the Lion’s World Champion, and the most recent as Robb Daniels makes his in ring return to face off against Dynamite David Troy!
Eli Buchanan: Two wily vets of the sport, one who’s found success throughout, against a man who’s recently come into his own. The end result should be an interesting styles clash.
“Gangster’s Paradise” hits the speaker to a respectable pop from the crowd, while Robb Daniels struts his way down to the ring soaking in the ovation as he slides in waiting for his opponent.
Matt Pulver: Here comes the Seattle Pro owner, and perhaps one of the all time greats in the sport.
Eli Buchanan: Not half bad as a promoter either. Certainly should be a great match between these two tonight.
David Troy marches to the ring accompanied by the sounds of “Death Threat” looking deathly focused as he prepares for a big match right here.
Matt Pulver: Here comes the man who took the World Title from me. I’ll say this he’s definitely pound for pound one of the hardest hitting men in the sport. He’s heading to Japan soon for The Sword of Lite Grand Prix.
Eli Buchanan: He can’t be very happy having lost his world title last week, under controversial circumstances. Daniels better watch out or he could find himself knocked out.
The two shake hands as the bell rings, the two lock up and Daniels pushes Troy to the ropes, the referee orders them to break but Robb Daniels cocks his hand back-And pats Troy on the chest as he steps back. Troy smirks as he comes forward and locks up again, this time he’s the one pushing Daniels into the ropes. He stares a hole through him as the ref orders the break, but obliges without difficulty, inviting his opponent back into the center of the ring.
Matt Pulver: The head games coming early on here.
Eli Buchanan: The mental edge will be vital in a match like this. They’ve never been in the ring with each other before they need to set the tone for it.
Troy comes forward for another lockup- but Daniels catches him with a drop toe hold. He immediately transitions into a rear chinlock, David Troy tries to push himself up to his feet freeing himself with elbows to the ribs, he hits the ropes, drop kick to the knee- Daniels sidesteps- Kneedrop! Cover- only 1, as David kicks out! Daniels captures the arm of David Troy looking for an Armbar. David manages to roll out of it going for a roundhouse kick which Robb Daniels ducks and follows by rolling out of the ring.
Matt Pulver: A heads up move from Robb Daniels, Troy’s strikes will mess you up quick if you’re not ready for them!
Eli Buchanan: He’s keeping it at his own pace, if Troy gets to set the pace it will be disastrous for Daniels.
Daniels slides back in being cautious when trying to approach David Troy who seems to be sizing him up. Troy kicks him in the thigh, causing Daniels to back up and lean outside the ropes. The referee backs Troy off as Daniels steps back in. The two approach each other as Troy throws a kick again, but this time Daniels catches it and swoops in with a takedown, putting himself on top of Troy. He clamps on a side headlock, Troy tries roll him onto his shoulders but Daniels continues rolling coming up to his feet. Troy attempts to shoot him off the ropes, but Daniels holds firm!
Matt Pulver: He’s trying to wear the striker down, sap some of his energy.
Eli Buchanan: Keep in mind they’re about the same age, but Daniels has taken far less punishment in his career. The longer this goes the more it’s going to favor Daniels.
David Troy scores a russian leg sweep! He’s looking for the grounded Octopus… Daniels gets his head out and secures the leg… Locks in the single leg Boston Crab! He rolls him over! He’s got it synched in, and Troy is feeling the effects! He begins to turn it over… He’s nailing up kicks on Daniels, but Daniels holds onto the leg… Enzuigiri! Down goes Daniels to a knee, and Troy begins unloading with kicks to the chest! He finishes his combo with a dropkick to the chest! 1-2-Kickout!
Matt Pulver: Any opening is all it takes for Troy to turn it around!
Eli Buchanan: He’s feeling that one!
Troy pulls him up in a Muay Thai Clinch with a series of knees, he hits the ropes looking for the Blazing Star Strike Knee.. Daniels ducks it Fireman’s Carry nails Troy! Cover! 1-2-Kickout! He pulls Troy up… Snap Suplex, he swivels his hips and nails a second! 1-2-Kickout again! He slaps on abdominal stretch on “Dynamite”! Troy attempts to turn his way towards the ropes, but Daniels keeps him in place… Troy hip tosses him over… And kicks him right across the back!
Matt Pulver: Daniels seems unable to suppress David Troy for very long.
Eli Buchanan: Well you of all people should know how tough that is, once he starts letting loose you need to be on the defensive, Daniels is a hell of a counter wrestler, so he’s not out of the woods yet.
He starts driving his elbow into the head of Daniels, he goes for the rolling elbow, but Daniels gets ahold of David’s waist cutting him off… German Suplex! 1-2-Kickout by David Troy! Troy grabs the ropes but Daniels dropkicks him putting him underneath the ropes… Daniels grabs his legs and slingshots him into the ropes neck first! Running knee drop as David Troy rolls back into the ring! 1-2-Kickout by David Troy! He pulls David up and nails a European Uppercut! Taking Troy back down to a knee…
Matt Pulver: Troy got blasted there! That’s got to hurt!
Eli Buchanan: He’s not down though, and if he’s not on the mat he can still knock your lights out…
Troy eggs him on asking for another… He obliges and blasts him with one, Troy shakes his head at him, Questioning if that’s all Robb’s got… Daniels lands another, and David Troy comes all the way back up to his feet, nose to nose with Robb, who nails another! A Roundhouse kick blasts Daniels, sprawling him down face first to the mat! Troy rolls him over! 1-2-Kickout! Daniels looks dazed as he rolls out to the floor… Baseball slide takes him back into the Guardrail! David Troy tosses him to the other side of the Guard Rail… Big boot! Daniels slumps against the rail! Troy gets a running start and dropkicks him against the rail! The referee comes out and orders David Troy back into the ring, as Daniels crumples on the floor…
Matt Pulver: This is serious here, I think Daniels is hurt bad…
Eli Buchanan: He might be out cold here. He’s not a full time competitor anymore, I don’t know if he’s used to this…
The referee is asking Daniels if he’s okay to continue... the doctor is over there checking Daniels who is just now starting to stir, pushing the doctor aside to get back into the ring, Troy seems impressed by the courage Daniels is showing! David Troy kicks him square in the ribs, putting him flat on the mat before hitting the ropes with a Shining Enzuigiri! 1-2-3-NO! He got it up just in time! David Troy looks at the referee in utter shock before pulling up Daniels again and nailing a German Suplex! 1-2-Kickout again! Daniels recovers and starts clawing his way towards the ropes…
Matt Pulver: I don’t believe it! He’s still going for it!
Eli Buchanan: I’m not sure that’s a great idea, the referee might want to look at stepping in here, Daniels can still fight but, that doesn’t mean he should…
David Troy looks to the official with genuine concern for Daniels, questioning if he wants to stop it, the referee shakes his head, David Troy backslides him- 1-2-Daniels kicks out again! Troy shakes his head and hits the ropes looking for the Blazing Star Knee again… Daniels catches him with a spinning spinebuster down to the mat! Daniels drops down to a knee clearly still shaking off the effects of the beating he’s just taken, he pulls David Troy up and nails a Russian Leg sweep! Cover! 1-2-Kickout by David! Daniels shouts to the sky as he returns to his feet! This crowd chants for Daniels as he dares David Troy to his feet!
Matt Pulver: He’s back in it!
Eli Buchanan: But for how long? Adrenaline’s a hell of a thing, but it only lasts so long…
David Troy comes back swinging with a roundhouse kick which Daniels ducks. Daniels kicks him in the gut, he nails the DDT, and is looking for The Memory Loss Guillotine, but Troy rolls through hooking the Octopus hold! Daniels rises hoisting David on his shoulders… He transitions to a Fireman’s carry… And slams him to the mat! The exhausted and injured Daniels rises to his feet, measuring the former world Champion for the Picture Perfect Stunner. He jumps up for it… Troy pushes him off… Daniels goes off the ropes… Flashbang! Troy falls on top! 1-2-3!!!
Winner: David Troy @ 12:36
Matt Pulver: David Troy does it in a hard fought back and forth match!
Eli Buchanan: Gutsy effort from Robb Daniels, but in the end it was David Troy who had his hand raised here tonight.
Troy stoops down checking on Daniels alongside the referee checking on him. Daniels pulls himself up, shaking Troys hand and then raising it, before leaving Troy in the ring to celebrate his triumph.
Matt Pulver: You’ve got to like seeing that, they went to war, they tried to break each other down, but at the end of the day the two of them left it all in the ring.
Troy stands at the top of the ramp with his hands high in the air, as the stagehands rush to ringside setting up the shelves and objects on them for the Black Friday Brawl.
Eli Buchanan: Up next we have the Three Way Black Friday Brawl, between Seattle Pro Pride Champion A.J Morales, Second Generation star Eric Dane Jr and El Hijo del Pollo in what promises to be an unforgettable fight!
“Escape the Fates” hits the speakers as Morales hits the ring slapping hands with the fans as he charges through the shelves of weapons Morales proudly presents his Pride Championship to the fans as he waits for his opponents.
Matt Pulver: When AJ Knight first announced the show, A.J Morales was one of the first, and most enthusiastic to accept the invitation, expressing a desire to smash capitalism.
Eli Buchanan: He had quite a competitive rivalry with AJ Knight over the spring and summer, with a victory each. Obviously a lot of mutual respect between the two.
Eric Dane Jr. arrogantly saunters out with “Greatest in the World” blaring in the background. He starts jawing with Morales informing him he’s going to take his title… Morales looks confused as he informs Dane the title is not on the line, which Dane starts yelling at the referee about that fact, but suddenly a voice cuts him off…
El Hijo del Pollo: Oh hell no!! See since this promoter decided to set my partner up earlier tonight, do you motherfuckers honestly think I’m about to dignify this bullshit with an actual match? Fuck no!! In fact Morales, Dane… I’ve got a little surprise for you… Or should I say a Gigante one?
Suddenly a huge man in a chicken mask emerges from the crowd and drops both Morales and Dane to the mat with a double chokeslam! Hijo rushes down to the ring and there’s the bell! This things underway!
Matt Pulver: Unbelievable!! Absolutely despicable by Hijo!
Eli Buchanan: Why are you so surprised? This is what those damn Pollos are all about!
Hijo begins putting the boots to Dane as Gigante hoists Morales up and tosses him out of the ring! He follows after as Hijo proceeds to pull Dane up nailing him with a double underhook suplex! 1-2 Kickout! Hijo jumps out to the apron… Springboard Crossbody… Nailed it! Meanwhile Gigante tosses Morales into a shelf sending all of its plunder all over the floor!
Matt Pulver: So far it’s been all the Pollos!
Eli Buchanan: Well it’s easy when you jump everybody before the match actually begins!
Gigante begins to pull up A.J who stands up and nails Gigante in the ribs with a wrench! He slides into the ring and taps Hijo on the shoulder, Hijo turns around into a big right hand from Morales, followed by another! Dane gets up as a third punch from Morales spins Hijo around and he delivers one of his own! Morales does as well and the two start ping ponging Hijo! Hijo escapes out to the floor… Morales leaps out onto him!! Dane springs off for a cannon ball… And gets caught by Gigante who powerbombs him into Morales and the Pollos stand tall!!
Matt Pulver: This is absolutely ridiculous! No matter what they do these two are all over them!
Hijo grabs a guitar from a shelf winding up for the skull of Dane… Dane low blows him! Gigante clubs him across the back! Morales grabs the guitar… and waffles Gigante with it! Morales helps up Dane before pointing at Hijo who is still reeling from Dane’s attack earlier, but suddenly a third much shorter Pollo comes behind the two of them… Double Low blow!! Down go both of Hijo’s opponents!
Matt Pulver: And now Popcorn Pollo!? You’ve got to be kidding me! They’re like Roaches!
Eli Buchanan: Well that explains their restaurants…
The three Pollos stand tall over their fallen adversaries… But the crowd suddenly pops and down the ramp comes Hammerstein who grabs a cowbell from the shelf! He runs down and starts cracking the Pollos with the bell! Here comes Jason Cashe after Hammerstein!! The two of them start trading blows around the ringside area! Hijo jumps on Hammerstein! While the other Pollos continue working over the two participants in the match!
Matt Pulver: This has gotten totally out of hand! Now everyone’s getting involved in it!
Eli Buchanan: Yeah, hold that thought…
Eli takes off his headset and rushes towards the fray jumping onto Hijo and the two start exchanging blows! The other two pollos turn their attention up to the ramp giving Morales and Dane an opening! The two clip out the knees of the giant! Double Superkick! Down goes Gigante! Popcorn Pollo jumps on Morales back… Morales just hoists him up and tosses him into the crowd!! Morales points toward Gigante and then to the ramp and a shelf there Dane and Morales drag him over towards the ramp… And Push the shelf over on top of him!!!
Matt Pulver: Fans this has gotten completely out of hand, someone’s got to be hurt by this point… Which I guess is pretty fitting for Black Friday all things considered…
Morales runs up the ramp over towards where the brawl is taking place… He climbs to the very top of the shelf… And dives off onto all of them! THe only two left standing are Cashe and Hammerstein! They go brawling backstage!! Dane jumps all over Morales!! He’s throwing rights and lefts all over the Pride Champion! He pulls him up and slings him face first into the ringpost! Before sliding him back in! Cover! 1-2-Kickout!
Matt Pulver: Well the Pollos now seem to be a non factor in this match! It’s down to Morales and Dane now!
Dane rolls out to the floor grabbin a Bowling ball from the shelves he brings it back in… Morales nails the Golden Goal!! Eric Dane Jr. falls to the corner slumped down. Morales grabs the Bowling ball… And rolls it right between the legs of Dane!!
Matt Pulver: And it looks like the Dane bloodline ends with him, after that shot!
Morales goes up top for the Lantern’s flight… Dane gets the knees up! He goes up to the top rope… Shooting Star Driver… Countered into the Liberator Superman Punch! 1-2-3!!!
Matt Pulver: Morales succeeds in his goal of smashing Capitalism. Not the way he’d have wanted to do it, but he gets the job done tonight!
Winner: AJ Morales @ 9:27
Morales heads up the ramp, looking down as Eli and Pollo are pulled apart by security sarcastically remarking “Clean up on Aisle 3” as he marches to the back!
Eli returns to the commentary position looking somewhat embarrassed to have been caught up in that…
Eli Buchanan: So what were you saying about everyone getting involved?
Matt Pulver: (Sigh) We’re going to take a short break before our main event We’ll be right back!
Intermission!
Matt Pulver: Ladies and Gentlemen welcome to Bells of the Black Friday, I’m Matt Pulver!
Eli Buchanan: And I’m Eli Buchanan! We’ve got quite a card ahead of us tonight! And let’s kick it off with a Pollomania Classic! A Chicken Scramble match!
“Fire by Scooter” hits the speaker and out to the ring marches “The Mighty Python” Sen Oka the first entrant of the Chicken Scramble, laying in the corner waiting for his opponents.
Matt Pulver: Sen Oka is a Jr. Heavyweight submission specialist from Japan, looking to pick up a win in this match here tonight.
Eli Buchanan: I’ll be honest, this match does not lend itself well to his skill set, in frantic matches like this submissions are hard to come by.
“Mach 13 Elephant Explosion” hits the speakers and “The God Beast” Mushigihara marches down the ramp and glares a hole through “The Mighty Python”
Matt Pulver: The Iron Road Winner Mushigihara is quite possibly the strongest man I’ve ever stepped in the ring with, it’s going to be hard to beat that in a free for all.
Eli Buchanan: True but you also have to consider that he’s going to have a huge target on his back just based on his size.
The moment “Send it Up” starts playing a chorus of boos and a sea of middle fingers accompany it. Rafa Whatley heads to the ring returning the favor to the fans as he rolls in joining his opponents.
Matt Pulver: I don’t think I’ve ever heard somebody so hated anywhere in the world…
Eli Buchanan: You should have seen me in 2015…. Anyway Rafa recently came within inches of ending the Heritage Title reign of Bam Markham in Lion’s Road. Highly impressive for someone less than a year as a pro.
“Release the Panic” plays and out struts Samantha Tolson, looking confident at the challenge she’s about to face.
Matt Pulver: Here comes Samantha Tolson, a master of all forms of Suplexes!
Eli Buchanan: It takes one to know one, and let me tell you she definitely is one!
“Fight it out” Signifies the return of JT Saint! The audience goes nuts as the returning superstar hits the ring!
Matt Pulver: A high flyer of the highest caliber, here comes JT Saint!
Eli Buchanan: Usually not on the good side of the fans, but a good return always gets the blood pumping!
“World on Fire” roars across the speaker and out marches the Not the Heritage Champion, The Mysterious Luchador Who is Not Bam Markham!
Matt Pulver: Now the Heritage Champion is here!
Eli Buchanan: No he doesn’t, you’re thinking of Bam Markham.
Matt Pulver: Eli that’s clearly Bam Markham!
Eli Buchanan: Then why is his name NOT Bam Markham?
You can practically hear Matt’s eyes rolling, as Eli breaks down the rules of the match:
Eli Buchanan: The rules are as follows: This match will have a 15 minute time limit. There will be no DQs, No Countouts, and falls count anywhere. It’s a free for all, once a fall is scored, it basically becomes hardcore tag. Whoever scores the fall is “it”, until they are pinned or submitted. Whoever’s “it” at the end of 15 minutes, will win.
The Bell rings and everyone’s fighting somebody! Sen Oka and Samantha Tolson are exchanging in the corner! Mushigihara and JT Saint spill out to the floor, while Rafa Whatley comes right after Not Bam Markham! Mushigihara attempts to toss Saint into the rail, but he slingshots over it before springing off of it into a crossbody- Which The “God-Beast” catches… And hurls him 3 rows deep! Rafa and Not Bam Markham proceed to trade heavy blows, but Not Bam Markham cuts him off with a knee lift to the gut! But Rafa shoots back with a hard headbutt!
Matt Pulver: Those two continuing right where they left off for the Heritage title!
Eli Buchanan: How many times do I have to explain it to you? That’s NOT Bam Markham!
Matt Pulver: This is already getting old and we’re two minutes in …
Sen Oka, looks to hook in a rear naked choke- But Samantha Tolson walks off the turnbuckles- Bret Hart roll! 1-2-3! The first fall comes at 12:47! Samantha Tolson raises her arms in celebration! Inside cradle by Oka! 1-2-3! Sen Oka scores the fall at 12:32! Oka rolls out to the floor! He’s heading to the back, trying to take his win here and leave! He runs into Mushigihara, who hoists him up and nails Holy War on the floor! 1-2-3!! Mushigihara is “it” at 11:56! Samantha Tolson hits the much larger Mushigihara with a dive to the floor, sending him back into the guard rail! She throws some chops which just seem to annoy him before he nails a Belly to Belly Suplex tossing her into JT Saint!
Matt Pulver: Mushigihara now in firm control! I think Sen Oka might be dead after that powerbomb! Three falls already!
Eli Buchanan: There’s nothing like a Chicken Scramble match!
Mushigihara rolls back inside the ring where Not Bam Markham and Rafa are still slugging it out. Mushigihara blasts him from behind with a clubbing forearm across the back! The two lift Rafa up overhead… AND TOSS HIM THROUGH OVER THE ROPES AND INTO TOLSON AND SAINT!!! The two monsters revel in their handiwork as the audience as chants of Holy Shit echo through the arena, soon their attention turns to one another as they challenge one another to take each other on.
Matt Pulver: What a feat of strength! These two are ruling the ring! And now we have a preview of the upcoming Heritage Title match!
Eli Buchanan: No we don’t…
Matt Pulver: Would you stop!?
Mushigihara starts unloading with palm strikes on Not Bam Markham driving him back, but the masked man fires back with a headbutt! The former sumo wrestler is driven back to the corner! He elbows Not Bam Markham in the side of the head sending him into the ropes unloading the palm strikes again! Double Arm Suplex sends him flying! Mushigihara charges him, but he gets cut off by the big boot! But he’s still on his feet as he nails the forearms on Not Bam Markham! Meat Hook knocks him flat on his ass! He’s looking for the Not Bam Bomb! Mushigihara fights it off! Rafa, Tolson and Saint hit the ring again and start attacking the two of them! Meanwhile Sen Oka has still not moved! Tolson hits a flying Knee to the back of Not Bam Markham’s head sending him back to the mat!
Matt Pulver: 9 minutes to go, and now Mushigihara is in trouble 3 on 1 against these three!
Eli Buchanan: He seems to have pissed them all off big time too! You know what they say about Paybacks.
Superkick from J.T Saint on Mushigihara! Tolson nails a lariat which hardly moves the big man! She tries a second that shakes him! And Rafa finishes the job with a Spear! Down goes Mushigihara! Saint tries to steal the pin, but Rafa tosses him through the ropes before the ref can even get to one! Tolson German suplexes Rafa and goes for the pin on Mushigihara! 1-2-Kickout with authority! Mushigihara charges but Tolson ducks it! Drop kick to the knee! She runs off the ropes and hits a jumping knee! Comes out of nowhere with a fallaway slam on Tolson! He grabs Mushigihara… Hoists him up… Death Valley Driver! JT Saint hits the ring with a chair! He nails Whatley across the back with it! And one for Tolson! He blasts Not Bam Markham with it! A wobbly Mushigihara comes up and he gets nailed with it! Saint goes up top! 630 Senton! 1-2-3! Saint takes the fall at 7:23!
Matt Pulver: And the giant is toppled! Halfway through now and he’s almost home!
Eli Buchanan: Yeah but it’s easier said than done especially in a match like this.
Not Bam Markham rises from the mat and swats the chair out of his hand and lunges for Saint who vaults over the ropes to the apron. Not Bam swings at him but he ducks down and slides between the legs of Not Bam- Dropkick to the knee! Not Markham goes down! Springboard dragonrana attempt is caught by Rafa Whatley… He’s looking for the Death Valley Driver… Saint escapes and rolls out to the floor! He starts heading for the ramp, but he gets tripped… Sen Oka’s alive! The Constrictor is synched in!-SAINT TAPS OUT!!! Oka takes the fall at 6:12!
Matt Pulver: Sen Oka comes back in a big way!
Eli Buchanan: With six minutes left on the clock he’s finally back into the match, but he’s got to be feeling the spiral bomb on the floor still.
Not Bam Markham’s attention immediately turns to Sen Oka who crawls underneath the ring trying to avoid the mysterious Luchador’s wrath. Not Bam reaches underneath the ring to grab Sen who comes up on the other side before jumping on his back for a rear naked choke! Not Bam is marching trying to get him off… ODA A MEXICO!! TOLSON SENDS THEM ALL CRASHING THROUGH THE TIME KEEPER’S TABLE!!! COVER ON OKA 1-2-3!!! Tolson gets it back at 5:29! Rafa Whatley pulls her out of the wreckage of the table and throws her into the post! She slides back in the ring!
Matt Pulver: No rest for the weary here tonight, each fall someone’s right on them!
Eli Buchanan: It also probably doesn’t hurt that she took herself out there too!
Rafa’s right on top of her, and he pulls her to her feet… Black Flag! 1-2-3!! Rafa takes it at 5:03! Mushigihara is back up and blasts Rafa with a Uranage near the corner!! Death Star!! Running Slingshot splash connects! 1-2-Kickout by Rafa! Mushigihara pulls him up in an Argentine Backbreaker position! Atlas Cutter… NO! Rafa lands on his feet! Chop block! Running boot to the back of Mushigihara’s head! Sen Oka leaps back into the ring!! Python’s Maw on Rafa! He taps out!! Sen Oka’s got it at 3:42!! J.T Saint hits the ring again! Lake Shore Driver!! 1-2-3!! 3:31 and Saint takes it! Saint turns around… Into The Not Bam Bomb! 1-2-3!!! Just like that Not Markham takes it at 3:22!
Matt Pulver: The Chaos here just keeps on growing larger and larger!
Eli Buchanan: We’re in the closing stretch Matt! It only gets bigger from here!
Mushigihara shoulder tackles Not Bam Markham, which sends him backwards into the ropes, and right back at Mushigihara, who doesn’t even move! Palm Strikes stagger the Luchador… WHO responds with clubbing forearms on the head and shoulders! Mushigihara charges forward… Not Bam Markham ducks sending him over the top rope! Samantha Tolson starts lighting him up with chops and kicks! Not Markham shoves her backwards… The Luchador attempts a Tilt-a Whirl Headscissors…
… Attempts being the keyword as he just kind of awkwardly bowls her over…
Eli Buchanan: I can’t believe such a seasoned Luchador had such a screw up!
Matt Pulver: I can’t believe you’re actually buying this getup…
Not Bam Markham tries to kip up… It doesn’t work… He tries again… It still fails so instead he just stands up, hoists up Tolson… And nails El Idiot Toss into J.T Saint! They both crash to the floor! Sen Oka tries to grab a heel hook… Not Bam just stomps him before he can take him to the mat! Mushigihara is coming back up on the apron… Spear by Rafa Whatley sends him into the rail! With a minute left on the clock we’re down to Rafa and Not Bam Markham!
Matt Pulver: It all comes down to this, after everything we’ve seen who will leave the winner?
Eli Buchanan: I don’t know but this is for sure: It won’t be Bam Markham.
The two immediately go back to exchanging strikes! Rafa starts to gain ground pushing Not Bam Markham into the ropes… The Not Meat Hook! He hoists Rafa up, he’s in position for The Not Bam Bomb… Sen Oka comes in… big boot from Not Bam… Rafa drops down… School boy! 1-2-3!!
Rafa Whatley rolls to the floor as the bell rings!!!
Matt Pulver: I don’t believe it! Rafa Whatley wins it!
Eli Buchanan: He picked his spot well and he has his hand raised now!
Whatley raises his hand in triumph at the top of the ramp, greeting the boos of the fans with a good old fashioned middle finger for them all.
Winner: Rafa Whatley @ 15:00
Matt Pulver: Classy as always from Rafa Whatley following a big win.
Eli Buchanan: You sound surprised, and now we’re on to our next match of the night.
Matt Pulver: Well, AJ’s always believed in young talents getting tested early and often, and tonight Red Tiger Kid, takes on one of the pound for pound best in Billy Danielson.
Eli Buchanan: Let’s go Tiger!
Matt Pulver:... Way to keep it impartial.
“Maximum the Hormone” hits the speakers with Red Tiger Kid heading down to the ring, slapping hands with the fans. As he heads towards the commentary desk Eli leans in seemingly giving him last minute advice, he rolls into the ring and stars up at the entrance ramp.
Matt Pulver: I think this will be the biggest test of his young career, but he seems calm and composed.
Eli Buchanan: He’s got bearing beyond his years and no doubt he’ll give Billy a run for his money tonight.
“Bad Guy” heralds the arrival of Billy Danielson, who is mouthing off about the fact that he’s up so early in the card, while Binky is ahead of him on the card. Billy Danielson starts questioning the referee about who let a shitty cosplayer in the ring with him, as he looks at Red Tiger Kid. The fans are not appreciative of Billy’s candor… Neither is Eli...
Eli Buchanan: Oh you cocky son of a bitch…
Matt Pulver: Eli! Come on, language!
As soon as the bell rings, Red Tiger Kid extends the hand to Billy Danielson, who acts like he’s going to shake it before pulling his hand back at the last second wagging his finger at kid. The two lock up… Kid immediately turns it up into a victory roll! 1-2-Kickout! Danielson comes back up and charges in… Armdrag! And another, headscissors take him down again! Billy Danielson rolls out to the floor, trying to collect himself.
Matt Pulver: Kid’s off to a good start, he’s got the veteran off balance!
Eli Buchanan: That’s what you get when you take him lightly!
Billy rolls back into the ring and looks for the lock up again, but blasts Kid with a chop before he can make contact. He places kid in the corner and starts unloading machine gun style until he slumps down! He pulls Kid back out of the corner before blasting him with a belly to belly suplex before making a cocky cover with just a hand on his chest for 1! Danielson drops a knee on the face of Red Tiger Kid!
Matt Pulver: Billy’s doing what he needs to do here, take the younger fighter’s courage.
Eli Buchanan: It’s going to take much more than that! Kid’s got a lot left in the tank!
Kid is pulling himself to his feet, and Billy uncorks a massive kick across his back! Kid grimaces as Billy pulls him up and blasts him with a powerbomb! Another cover, this time with two hands on his chest 1-2-Kickout by Kid! Billy just seems to be annoyed at the persistence of his opponent, he pulls him up and blasts him with a Chicago Blackout! Kid is down to a knee… and eats a second one! Cover 1-2-Kickout! Billy shakes his head and places Kid’s right against the middle turnbuckle… He picks up steam for the Chicago Blackout… Kid moves! The ring shifts as Billy’s knee crashes of the turnbuckle sending him to the mat!
Matt Pulver: A costly error from Billy, he put everything he had on that, and came up empty.
Eli Buchanan: Come on Kid! Stay on him! Make him pay for it!
Billy pulls himself back up, before taking a drop kick to the knee by Tiger! He grabs Billy’s leg… Dragonscrew Legwhip! He keeps on it but Billy pulls himself to the ropes. Tiger backs off and Billy shoots in for another lock up but this time it’s Tiger who avoids it and takes his back… Jumps up… Reverse Hurricanrana! Tiger goes up top… He’s signalling for the Supreme Flaming Legdrop of Doom!!! Billy rolls away from the corner, just out of range for that move… Meteora!! 1-2-Kickout!! The crowds going nuts as Tiger points over to the corner, signaling for the Supreme Flaming Legdrop of Doom! Billy pulls himself back to his feet… He lunges in for another Chicago Blackout- But gets caught with the Pele Kick! He falls in perfect position for it!
Matt Pulver: Listen to this crowd! They want to see the upset here tonight!
Eli Buchanan: YES!! GO!! GET UP THERE!! MAKE YOURSELF FAMOUS!!!
Kid’s perched up top the crowd’s on its feet… He leaps off for The shooting Star legdrop… Billy moves! Danielson pulls himself back to his feet and absolutely murders him with a Chicago Blackout! He hoists him up… One Fall! 1-2-3!!
Eli Buchanan: Damnit! So close!
Matt Pulver: A spirited effort from Red Tiger Kid, but it was not to be on this night.
Winner: Billy Danielson @ 8:23
Eli Buchanan: His performance tonight was well beyond his years, and he’ll only get better.
Danielson heads up the ramp to the boos of the crowd as he announces that Kid is not in his league. Kid comes up to his knees, clearly disappointed by the loss, The crowd begins applauding him and chanting “Kid, Kid, Kid” He comes up to his feet as the fans give him a standing ovation. He heads to the back as the crowd gets set for the next match.
Matt Pulver: Now, onto the strangest match of the night, by far.
Eli Buchanan: A bear, an alien & a redneck get in the ring. If that’s not a bad joke, I don’t know what is. And we have a fourth participant who we still don’t know! Let’s go to the ring!
“Invaders from Mars” hits the speakers immediately followed by the entrance of Zarganax the Intergalactic Conqueror, the cult favorite from Pollomania receives a standing ovation for his in ring return!
Matt Pulver: You know this might sound crazy, but I’ve always felt a connection to this guy…
Eli Buchanan: You’re right, that is crazy you should seek professional help.
Jason Cashe charges to the ring as “ATLiens” comes on! He slides in, before leaning over the ropes towards the ropes shouting “Bring me Binky!” drawing a huge pop from the crowd!
Matt Pulver: This madman actually wants to fight a bear…
Eli Buchanan: I know right? I’ve been waiting for this all week! Popcorn?
Eli is audibly eating popcorn as Binky marches down to the ring letting out a mighty roar, that draws a shocked gasp from the crowd, he steps into the ring, drawing a nervous look from Zargnax, but Cashe just stares right through him.
Matt Pulver: And we still have one more to go.
Eli Buchanan: I just received word, I can’t tell you who it is, but I can tell you who it isn’t…
Matt Pulver: I think I know where this is going.
Eli Buchanan: And that is Bam Markham!
Matt Pulver: Here we go again…
Out to the ring marches Not Bam Markham, who suspiciously looks to be about 40 pounds lighter than he was earlier, he’s flexing his muscles staring a hole specifically at Cashe, who doesn’t seem to notice due to his focus on Binky.
Matt Pulver: I don’t think that’s the same guy from earlier tonight…
Eli Buchanan: How can you tell behind that mask?
Matt Pulver: I’m not getting paid enough for this…
The bell rings and Cashe immediately comes nose to nose with Binky… Or at least something close to that, as Binky, being a bear, is considerably taller than him. Not Bam Markham gets in between them and grabs Cashe and shoves him! Cashe begins to question what the hell his problem is… Only for Binky to nearly remove his head with a massive swipe across the back of his head. Not Markham goes staggering out through the ropes, seemingly completely out. Zargnax glances over seemingly freaked out as Not Bam appears to be totally out. Cashe and Binky are nose to nose until Cashe dropkicks Zargnax out of the ring. For his part Zargnax doesn’t seem too upset about being out of the ring…
Matt Pulver: Here’s the match everybody’s been waiting for…
Eli Buchanan: I know right? This is going to be great! Are you sure about not wanting popcorn?
Cashe hits the ropes and nails a clothesline on Binky who doesn’t even budge, he follows up with another, and another, and another… Binky’s still not budging, and another, and another, still another, Binky’s just looking bored… And another, another, and another yet again! Now Binky looks annoyed… Yet another clothesline… He’s still trying it….
Matt Pulver: He’s persistent, I’ll give him that…
Eli Buchanan: I’m just waiting for Binky to get tired of this…
The popcorn crunching continues, as Cashe is finally out of breath and Binky shoves him to the mat! Cashe almost goes completely out of the ring but catches himself on the ropes, he seems as though he’s quite surprised, but jumps up and locks up with Binky, who also seems surprised but ends up just wrapping his arms around Cashe in a Bearhug, before ultimately tossing him aside letting out another fearsome roar. Cashe again gets up fearlessly, and ascends to the top rope, nailing a Double Axe Handle on Binky, who again by virtue of being a bear is mostly unaffected. Cashe attempts a vertical suplex!... Yeah that’s not happening… Scoop Slam?! … Also no… Strawberries… Yes you saw that right he’s trying to make fart noises on a bear…
Matt Pulver: There’s a line between bravery and stupidity….
Eli Buchanan: It’s Cashe, stupidity is what he does...
He gets a hold of Cashe again, Cashe throws a series of rights he’s not backing down in spite of battling Binky but to no avail! In comes Zargnax, who gets swatted aside by Binky! Laying on the mat, his exo suit starts twitching, until suddenly…
BOOM!!
Matt Pulver: Oh my God!
Eli Buchanan: Oh no, we might need help…
Zargnax’s arm cannon goes off felling Binky! All eyes turn towards Zargnax who proceeds to hide the cannon behind his back… The fans start chanting “You Killed Binky” at him, but he is shaking his head vehemently, denying it.
Matt Pulver: I can’t believe what I’m seeing….
Eli Buchanan: When PETA hears about this there’ll be hell to pay…
Zargnax gets up with Cashe pointing right at him, the two of them lock up, and Zargnax pushes Cashe back into the corner… Cashe attempts a Bell Clap to get off the ropes… But it has little effect as Zargnax’s ears are not where Cashe expected… He tries bell claps at multiple trajectories until one finally seems to work! Irish whip on Zargnax, the two criss cross on the ropes several times Cashe stops it!
“Stop! What’s That!?”
Zargnax looks up, before getting slapped in the face! Zargnax returns the favor! Cashe gives one back! Zargnax stomps on Cashe’s foot! Cashe returns the favor but finds it totally ineffective… Zargnax reminds him that’s not his real foot… Before stomping on Cashe’s other foot! Zargnax hits the ropes… Mark of J.A.S.O.N! Down goes Zargnax! 1-2-Kickout! Cashe comes after him again but Zargnax pulls out a time warp ray… They’re both going in slow mo now...
Matt Pulver (In slow motion): And now Zargnax has used another gadget to turn the flow of the bout…
Eli Buchanan (In slow motion): I can’t believe it’s actually working…
Slow motion headbutt… Zargnax staggers back… Zoglorpian chop from the Intergalactic conqueror… Cashe nails a shoulder tackle… Zargnax goes back to the ropes and hits one of his own… His suit stops working… And he falls flat to the mat... Cashe stands in triumph…
Eli Buchanan (Still in Slow Motion): I knew it was just a matter of time until one of his gadgets stopped working….
Matt Pulver (Also Still in Slow Motion): Tragic Setback for Zargnax… Wait a minute…
BINKY SITS UP LIKE THE UNDERTAKER!!! … In slow motion… He looks at Zargnax, who looks to be panicking… Cashe tries to advance on him… But gets sprayed in the eyes with Chemo-Molecular Hostile Subduement Compound X (or you know… Asian Mist for those of you who don’t know what the hell that is…) Zargnax starts to fix his suit as Binky comes in pursuit of Zargnax… Cashe backpedals into Binky… He feels something furry behind him… He sighs as he realizes who it is, and he is swatted aside by Binky the Wrestlebear… Binky starts chasing Zargnax… as somebody in the back decides to play “Chariots of Fire” as Zargnax attempts to escape certain doom in slow motion…
Matt Pulver (Yet again in Slow motion): I don’t quite know what to make of this…
Eli Buchanan (Ditto): … Yeah I don’t know what to add here…
Zargnax dives out of the ring as Binky lunges a him… And the Slow mo wears off as Binky dives out after him! … And somebody in the back decides to play Yakety Sax as the chase is on! They’re running all around the ring! They go up the ramp, and back down again! Zargnax jumps into the crowd but Binky’s not giving up! Security is now joining the chase as the two end up backstage…
Eli Buchanan: I’m watching a bear chase a space alien all around the arena on an event held on Black Friday, to be headlined by an international superstar fighting a giant eunuch… There’s something I never thought I’d say…
Matt Pulver: I think I hit my head harder than I thought…
Backstage the chase has gone into catering and has seemingly drawn Billy Danielson into it trying to restrain Binky! Danielson jumps on Binky’s back but gets thrown off and into a table of pies! Zargnax uses yet another ray… Seemingly calming down Binky, saying sleep… And Binky does! The mind control ray!
Matt Pulver: Well that was exciting…
Eli Buchanan: He’s covered in pie!! Hahaha! This is great!!
Back in the ring Cashe seems to have recovered Seeing no one else there he thinks he’s won! He’s celebrating!… but Not Bam Markham is standing behind him though… Screwdriver!! Wait a minute!!! Not Bam Markham unmasks… It’s Hammerstein!!
Eli Buchanan: See I told you it really wasn’t Bam Markham!!
Matt Pulver: Unbelievable…
Cover!! 1-2-3!! Hammerstein grabs the microphone and leans in towards Cashe
Hammerstein: Happy Holidays Jason…
Winner: Jacob Hammerstein @ 11:23
Meanwhile backstage Billy is using a forklift to get Binky back into his trailer, he locks the door as Binky wakes up and begins roaring and pounding on the door! Danielson wipes some pie off himself muttering under his breath:
Billy Danielson: ...I loan him my bear and this is the thanks I get…
Matt Pulver: Well I can safely say I’ve never seen a match like that before… and I kind of hope I never do again…
Eli Buchanan: Oh boy you never would have survived in Pollomania Matt…
Hammerstein celebrates walking to the back as the ringside attendants help Jason Cashe to the back, while we prepare for our next match.
Matt Pulver: Up next we have a match between the first King of the Lion’s World Champion, and the most recent as Robb Daniels makes his in ring return to face off against Dynamite David Troy!
Eli Buchanan: Two wily vets of the sport, one who’s found success throughout, against a man who’s recently come into his own. The end result should be an interesting styles clash.
“Gangster’s Paradise” hits the speaker to a respectable pop from the crowd, while Robb Daniels struts his way down to the ring soaking in the ovation as he slides in waiting for his opponent.
Matt Pulver: Here comes the Seattle Pro owner, and perhaps one of the all time greats in the sport.
Eli Buchanan: Not half bad as a promoter either. Certainly should be a great match between these two tonight.
David Troy marches to the ring accompanied by the sounds of “Death Threat” looking deathly focused as he prepares for a big match right here.
Matt Pulver: Here comes the man who took the World Title from me. I’ll say this he’s definitely pound for pound one of the hardest hitting men in the sport. He’s heading to Japan soon for The Sword of Lite Grand Prix.
Eli Buchanan: He can’t be very happy having lost his world title last week, under controversial circumstances. Daniels better watch out or he could find himself knocked out.
The two shake hands as the bell rings, the two lock up and Daniels pushes Troy to the ropes, the referee orders them to break but Robb Daniels cocks his hand back-And pats Troy on the chest as he steps back. Troy smirks as he comes forward and locks up again, this time he’s the one pushing Daniels into the ropes. He stares a hole through him as the ref orders the break, but obliges without difficulty, inviting his opponent back into the center of the ring.
Matt Pulver: The head games coming early on here.
Eli Buchanan: The mental edge will be vital in a match like this. They’ve never been in the ring with each other before they need to set the tone for it.
Troy comes forward for another lockup- but Daniels catches him with a drop toe hold. He immediately transitions into a rear chinlock, David Troy tries to push himself up to his feet freeing himself with elbows to the ribs, he hits the ropes, drop kick to the knee- Daniels sidesteps- Kneedrop! Cover- only 1, as David kicks out! Daniels captures the arm of David Troy looking for an Armbar. David manages to roll out of it going for a roundhouse kick which Robb Daniels ducks and follows by rolling out of the ring.
Matt Pulver: A heads up move from Robb Daniels, Troy’s strikes will mess you up quick if you’re not ready for them!
Eli Buchanan: He’s keeping it at his own pace, if Troy gets to set the pace it will be disastrous for Daniels.
Daniels slides back in being cautious when trying to approach David Troy who seems to be sizing him up. Troy kicks him in the thigh, causing Daniels to back up and lean outside the ropes. The referee backs Troy off as Daniels steps back in. The two approach each other as Troy throws a kick again, but this time Daniels catches it and swoops in with a takedown, putting himself on top of Troy. He clamps on a side headlock, Troy tries roll him onto his shoulders but Daniels continues rolling coming up to his feet. Troy attempts to shoot him off the ropes, but Daniels holds firm!
Matt Pulver: He’s trying to wear the striker down, sap some of his energy.
Eli Buchanan: Keep in mind they’re about the same age, but Daniels has taken far less punishment in his career. The longer this goes the more it’s going to favor Daniels.
David Troy scores a russian leg sweep! He’s looking for the grounded Octopus… Daniels gets his head out and secures the leg… Locks in the single leg Boston Crab! He rolls him over! He’s got it synched in, and Troy is feeling the effects! He begins to turn it over… He’s nailing up kicks on Daniels, but Daniels holds onto the leg… Enzuigiri! Down goes Daniels to a knee, and Troy begins unloading with kicks to the chest! He finishes his combo with a dropkick to the chest! 1-2-Kickout!
Matt Pulver: Any opening is all it takes for Troy to turn it around!
Eli Buchanan: He’s feeling that one!
Troy pulls him up in a Muay Thai Clinch with a series of knees, he hits the ropes looking for the Blazing Star Strike Knee.. Daniels ducks it Fireman’s Carry nails Troy! Cover! 1-2-Kickout! He pulls Troy up… Snap Suplex, he swivels his hips and nails a second! 1-2-Kickout again! He slaps on abdominal stretch on “Dynamite”! Troy attempts to turn his way towards the ropes, but Daniels keeps him in place… Troy hip tosses him over… And kicks him right across the back!
Matt Pulver: Daniels seems unable to suppress David Troy for very long.
Eli Buchanan: Well you of all people should know how tough that is, once he starts letting loose you need to be on the defensive, Daniels is a hell of a counter wrestler, so he’s not out of the woods yet.
He starts driving his elbow into the head of Daniels, he goes for the rolling elbow, but Daniels gets ahold of David’s waist cutting him off… German Suplex! 1-2-Kickout by David Troy! Troy grabs the ropes but Daniels dropkicks him putting him underneath the ropes… Daniels grabs his legs and slingshots him into the ropes neck first! Running knee drop as David Troy rolls back into the ring! 1-2-Kickout by David Troy! He pulls David up and nails a European Uppercut! Taking Troy back down to a knee…
Matt Pulver: Troy got blasted there! That’s got to hurt!
Eli Buchanan: He’s not down though, and if he’s not on the mat he can still knock your lights out…
Troy eggs him on asking for another… He obliges and blasts him with one, Troy shakes his head at him, Questioning if that’s all Robb’s got… Daniels lands another, and David Troy comes all the way back up to his feet, nose to nose with Robb, who nails another! A Roundhouse kick blasts Daniels, sprawling him down face first to the mat! Troy rolls him over! 1-2-Kickout! Daniels looks dazed as he rolls out to the floor… Baseball slide takes him back into the Guardrail! David Troy tosses him to the other side of the Guard Rail… Big boot! Daniels slumps against the rail! Troy gets a running start and dropkicks him against the rail! The referee comes out and orders David Troy back into the ring, as Daniels crumples on the floor…
Matt Pulver: This is serious here, I think Daniels is hurt bad…
Eli Buchanan: He might be out cold here. He’s not a full time competitor anymore, I don’t know if he’s used to this…
The referee is asking Daniels if he’s okay to continue... the doctor is over there checking Daniels who is just now starting to stir, pushing the doctor aside to get back into the ring, Troy seems impressed by the courage Daniels is showing! David Troy kicks him square in the ribs, putting him flat on the mat before hitting the ropes with a Shining Enzuigiri! 1-2-3-NO! He got it up just in time! David Troy looks at the referee in utter shock before pulling up Daniels again and nailing a German Suplex! 1-2-Kickout again! Daniels recovers and starts clawing his way towards the ropes…
Matt Pulver: I don’t believe it! He’s still going for it!
Eli Buchanan: I’m not sure that’s a great idea, the referee might want to look at stepping in here, Daniels can still fight but, that doesn’t mean he should…
David Troy looks to the official with genuine concern for Daniels, questioning if he wants to stop it, the referee shakes his head, David Troy backslides him- 1-2-Daniels kicks out again! Troy shakes his head and hits the ropes looking for the Blazing Star Knee again… Daniels catches him with a spinning spinebuster down to the mat! Daniels drops down to a knee clearly still shaking off the effects of the beating he’s just taken, he pulls David Troy up and nails a Russian Leg sweep! Cover! 1-2-Kickout by David! Daniels shouts to the sky as he returns to his feet! This crowd chants for Daniels as he dares David Troy to his feet!
Matt Pulver: He’s back in it!
Eli Buchanan: But for how long? Adrenaline’s a hell of a thing, but it only lasts so long…
David Troy comes back swinging with a roundhouse kick which Daniels ducks. Daniels kicks him in the gut, he nails the DDT, and is looking for The Memory Loss Guillotine, but Troy rolls through hooking the Octopus hold! Daniels rises hoisting David on his shoulders… He transitions to a Fireman’s carry… And slams him to the mat! The exhausted and injured Daniels rises to his feet, measuring the former world Champion for the Picture Perfect Stunner. He jumps up for it… Troy pushes him off… Daniels goes off the ropes… Flashbang! Troy falls on top! 1-2-3!!!
Winner: David Troy @ 12:36
Matt Pulver: David Troy does it in a hard fought back and forth match!
Eli Buchanan: Gutsy effort from Robb Daniels, but in the end it was David Troy who had his hand raised here tonight.
Troy stoops down checking on Daniels alongside the referee checking on him. Daniels pulls himself up, shaking Troys hand and then raising it, before leaving Troy in the ring to celebrate his triumph.
Matt Pulver: You’ve got to like seeing that, they went to war, they tried to break each other down, but at the end of the day the two of them left it all in the ring.
Troy stands at the top of the ramp with his hands high in the air, as the stagehands rush to ringside setting up the shelves and objects on them for the Black Friday Brawl.
Eli Buchanan: Up next we have the Three Way Black Friday Brawl, between Seattle Pro Pride Champion A.J Morales, Second Generation star Eric Dane Jr and El Hijo del Pollo in what promises to be an unforgettable fight!
“Escape the Fates” hits the speakers as Morales hits the ring slapping hands with the fans as he charges through the shelves of weapons Morales proudly presents his Pride Championship to the fans as he waits for his opponents.
Matt Pulver: When AJ Knight first announced the show, A.J Morales was one of the first, and most enthusiastic to accept the invitation, expressing a desire to smash capitalism.
Eli Buchanan: He had quite a competitive rivalry with AJ Knight over the spring and summer, with a victory each. Obviously a lot of mutual respect between the two.
Eric Dane Jr. arrogantly saunters out with “Greatest in the World” blaring in the background. He starts jawing with Morales informing him he’s going to take his title… Morales looks confused as he informs Dane the title is not on the line, which Dane starts yelling at the referee about that fact, but suddenly a voice cuts him off…
El Hijo del Pollo: Oh hell no!! See since this promoter decided to set my partner up earlier tonight, do you motherfuckers honestly think I’m about to dignify this bullshit with an actual match? Fuck no!! In fact Morales, Dane… I’ve got a little surprise for you… Or should I say a Gigante one?
Suddenly a huge man in a chicken mask emerges from the crowd and drops both Morales and Dane to the mat with a double chokeslam! Hijo rushes down to the ring and there’s the bell! This things underway!
Matt Pulver: Unbelievable!! Absolutely despicable by Hijo!
Eli Buchanan: Why are you so surprised? This is what those damn Pollos are all about!
Hijo begins putting the boots to Dane as Gigante hoists Morales up and tosses him out of the ring! He follows after as Hijo proceeds to pull Dane up nailing him with a double underhook suplex! 1-2 Kickout! Hijo jumps out to the apron… Springboard Crossbody… Nailed it! Meanwhile Gigante tosses Morales into a shelf sending all of its plunder all over the floor!
Matt Pulver: So far it’s been all the Pollos!
Eli Buchanan: Well it’s easy when you jump everybody before the match actually begins!
Gigante begins to pull up A.J who stands up and nails Gigante in the ribs with a wrench! He slides into the ring and taps Hijo on the shoulder, Hijo turns around into a big right hand from Morales, followed by another! Dane gets up as a third punch from Morales spins Hijo around and he delivers one of his own! Morales does as well and the two start ping ponging Hijo! Hijo escapes out to the floor… Morales leaps out onto him!! Dane springs off for a cannon ball… And gets caught by Gigante who powerbombs him into Morales and the Pollos stand tall!!
Matt Pulver: This is absolutely ridiculous! No matter what they do these two are all over them!
Hijo grabs a guitar from a shelf winding up for the skull of Dane… Dane low blows him! Gigante clubs him across the back! Morales grabs the guitar… and waffles Gigante with it! Morales helps up Dane before pointing at Hijo who is still reeling from Dane’s attack earlier, but suddenly a third much shorter Pollo comes behind the two of them… Double Low blow!! Down go both of Hijo’s opponents!
Matt Pulver: And now Popcorn Pollo!? You’ve got to be kidding me! They’re like Roaches!
Eli Buchanan: Well that explains their restaurants…
The three Pollos stand tall over their fallen adversaries… But the crowd suddenly pops and down the ramp comes Hammerstein who grabs a cowbell from the shelf! He runs down and starts cracking the Pollos with the bell! Here comes Jason Cashe after Hammerstein!! The two of them start trading blows around the ringside area! Hijo jumps on Hammerstein! While the other Pollos continue working over the two participants in the match!
Matt Pulver: This has gotten totally out of hand! Now everyone’s getting involved in it!
Eli Buchanan: Yeah, hold that thought…
Eli takes off his headset and rushes towards the fray jumping onto Hijo and the two start exchanging blows! The other two pollos turn their attention up to the ramp giving Morales and Dane an opening! The two clip out the knees of the giant! Double Superkick! Down goes Gigante! Popcorn Pollo jumps on Morales back… Morales just hoists him up and tosses him into the crowd!! Morales points toward Gigante and then to the ramp and a shelf there Dane and Morales drag him over towards the ramp… And Push the shelf over on top of him!!!
Matt Pulver: Fans this has gotten completely out of hand, someone’s got to be hurt by this point… Which I guess is pretty fitting for Black Friday all things considered…
Morales runs up the ramp over towards where the brawl is taking place… He climbs to the very top of the shelf… And dives off onto all of them! THe only two left standing are Cashe and Hammerstein! They go brawling backstage!! Dane jumps all over Morales!! He’s throwing rights and lefts all over the Pride Champion! He pulls him up and slings him face first into the ringpost! Before sliding him back in! Cover! 1-2-Kickout!
Matt Pulver: Well the Pollos now seem to be a non factor in this match! It’s down to Morales and Dane now!
Dane rolls out to the floor grabbin a Bowling ball from the shelves he brings it back in… Morales nails the Golden Goal!! Eric Dane Jr. falls to the corner slumped down. Morales grabs the Bowling ball… And rolls it right between the legs of Dane!!
Matt Pulver: And it looks like the Dane bloodline ends with him, after that shot!
Morales goes up top for the Lantern’s flight… Dane gets the knees up! He goes up to the top rope… Shooting Star Driver… Countered into the Liberator Superman Punch! 1-2-3!!!
Matt Pulver: Morales succeeds in his goal of smashing Capitalism. Not the way he’d have wanted to do it, but he gets the job done tonight!
Winner: AJ Morales @ 9:27
Morales heads up the ramp, looking down as Eli and Pollo are pulled apart by security sarcastically remarking “Clean up on Aisle 3” as he marches to the back!
Eli returns to the commentary position looking somewhat embarrassed to have been caught up in that…
Eli Buchanan: So what were you saying about everyone getting involved?
Matt Pulver: (Sigh) We’re going to take a short break before our main event We’ll be right back!
Intermission!