Post by Los Pollos™ on Jun 13, 2016 21:58:22 GMT
The scene opens up with Zargnax close to the camera, pressing the Record button. He moves back and stands in position in front of a Pollomania backdrop, with Algie standing beside him. He clears his throat and begins speaking.
“For eons and eons, more than your simple human minds can comprehend, I traveled through space. I crossed the asteroid belts of Ceres-Varion, circumnavigated the cosmic oceans of Seguelusa 2-c, traversed the laser-cloud fields of Tungyirea 5, slayed the yellow hypergiant of V509, and finally arrived at this sorry excuse for a planet.
But at this moment, let us not travel through space, but through time. Let us travel back to what in Earth time would be December 9th 2015. The Pollo Playhouse match. Four people had been eliminated and now it was three versus three. Sudden Death. Next fall wins. I looked out across those rings and I saw something. Something that was wrong. And it wasn’t my opponents. It was Tiger Mask Red.
Tiger Mask Red, the supposed ‘captain’ of the team. I AM THE CAPTAIN! THE GREAT ZARGNAX FOLLOWS NO ONE! I fly spaceships! What have you done? You haven’t flown through the cosmos, that’s for sure! So I did what any responsible highly-evolved organism would do. I SHOT HIM IN THE FACE!! HAHAHAHA!!
That’s right, I totally did it on purpose! So stop saying it was an accident, okay!? I’m The Great Zargnax, dammit, I don’t make mistakes!!
Now where was I? Oh, yes. The part where I shot you in the face, Tiger. Ahhh! The smell of the burnt skin of a lesser-evolved species… How does it feel, huh? To be put in your place by an intelligent life form? And speaking of being put in your place, let us talk about your goon, Holly Guacamole. You tried to come after me. Tried to get your little revenge for your little commander. And I crushed you! Twice! And I have these Twin Egg Championship belts to prove it!”
He slaps the belt around his waist and the belt draped across Algie’s shoulder, before turning back to the camera.
“I’ve conquered you both, time and time again. So what makes you think that this time will be any different? It’s time for you – all of you Earth apes – to realize that you have made contact with your conqueror! I am unstoppable! Just a few months ago, you all thought I was done for. That I had been sucked into an inescapable hole of black nature. That my intergalactic trek was about to meet an abrupt end, just because everyone that ever got close to me got dragged under the ring by a tentacle monster.”
Algie reacts curiously to the last statement.
“But the Intergalactic Conqueror can not be conquered so easily! No, I climbed out of that black hole – with a tentacle monster of my own – and I fired my laser all of your stupid race and I claimed the Twin Egg Championships as my own! Just like I will claim your entire planet!
So listen up, Misfits, and listen up, Earthlings! You’re all on a collision course with The Great and Powerful Zargnax, and this is one astronomical object you can’t destroy! So change your course and surrender now, because it is only a matter of time before you’re all
CONQUERED!”
Zargnax laughs maniacally as he walks off screen. Algie stands there for a while and looks at her wristwatch, C.O.M.P.U.T.E.R.
“[›é√µ¸ƒ∞¶≈“/‹¸†˛›‘#’°]”
“Yes, Algie, I heard it too. If it is true, then what happened in dimension C-120, is most likely about to happen in this dimension as well. But it is impossible to calculate when and how it will happen. And how it can be stopped...”
“What are you doing, you big dunce?”
Zargnax walks back into the frame, yelling at Algie.
“Are you going to stand there all day?”
He turns to the camera.
“Hey.”
He walks up to it and reaches for the Record button.
“Is this still on?”
End feed.
“For eons and eons, more than your simple human minds can comprehend, I traveled through space. I crossed the asteroid belts of Ceres-Varion, circumnavigated the cosmic oceans of Seguelusa 2-c, traversed the laser-cloud fields of Tungyirea 5, slayed the yellow hypergiant of V509, and finally arrived at this sorry excuse for a planet.
But at this moment, let us not travel through space, but through time. Let us travel back to what in Earth time would be December 9th 2015. The Pollo Playhouse match. Four people had been eliminated and now it was three versus three. Sudden Death. Next fall wins. I looked out across those rings and I saw something. Something that was wrong. And it wasn’t my opponents. It was Tiger Mask Red.
Tiger Mask Red, the supposed ‘captain’ of the team. I AM THE CAPTAIN! THE GREAT ZARGNAX FOLLOWS NO ONE! I fly spaceships! What have you done? You haven’t flown through the cosmos, that’s for sure! So I did what any responsible highly-evolved organism would do. I SHOT HIM IN THE FACE!! HAHAHAHA!!
That’s right, I totally did it on purpose! So stop saying it was an accident, okay!? I’m The Great Zargnax, dammit, I don’t make mistakes!!
Now where was I? Oh, yes. The part where I shot you in the face, Tiger. Ahhh! The smell of the burnt skin of a lesser-evolved species… How does it feel, huh? To be put in your place by an intelligent life form? And speaking of being put in your place, let us talk about your goon, Holly Guacamole. You tried to come after me. Tried to get your little revenge for your little commander. And I crushed you! Twice! And I have these Twin Egg Championship belts to prove it!”
He slaps the belt around his waist and the belt draped across Algie’s shoulder, before turning back to the camera.
“I’ve conquered you both, time and time again. So what makes you think that this time will be any different? It’s time for you – all of you Earth apes – to realize that you have made contact with your conqueror! I am unstoppable! Just a few months ago, you all thought I was done for. That I had been sucked into an inescapable hole of black nature. That my intergalactic trek was about to meet an abrupt end, just because everyone that ever got close to me got dragged under the ring by a tentacle monster.”
Algie reacts curiously to the last statement.
“But the Intergalactic Conqueror can not be conquered so easily! No, I climbed out of that black hole – with a tentacle monster of my own – and I fired my laser all of your stupid race and I claimed the Twin Egg Championships as my own! Just like I will claim your entire planet!
So listen up, Misfits, and listen up, Earthlings! You’re all on a collision course with The Great and Powerful Zargnax, and this is one astronomical object you can’t destroy! So change your course and surrender now, because it is only a matter of time before you’re all
CONQUERED!”
Zargnax laughs maniacally as he walks off screen. Algie stands there for a while and looks at her wristwatch, C.O.M.P.U.T.E.R.
“[›é√µ¸ƒ∞¶≈“/‹¸†˛›‘#’°]”
“Yes, Algie, I heard it too. If it is true, then what happened in dimension C-120, is most likely about to happen in this dimension as well. But it is impossible to calculate when and how it will happen. And how it can be stopped...”
“What are you doing, you big dunce?”
Zargnax walks back into the frame, yelling at Algie.
“Are you going to stand there all day?”
He turns to the camera.
“Hey.”
He walks up to it and reaches for the Record button.
“Is this still on?”
End feed.