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Post by Buck U Productions on Sept 25, 2017 4:18:38 GMT
“Reborn” by Lord opens the show and the camera the live, screaming crowd as we go to our hosts at ringside.
TMG Greetings everyone from the home of the Wheat Kings, we are live from Kenstone Centre in Brandon, Manitoba. I’m That Masked Guy, alongside my podcast tag team partner, Capt Fizz, and we’re joined once again by the most decorated competitor in Pollomania history and Pollo Bucket Hall of Famer, Eli Buchanan.
ELI BUCHANAN That’s right, Loco, back when I fought as Tiger Mask Red, me and the Embassy dominated Pollomania for nearly a year, but this isn’t about me. This is all about the Buck U Cup and the Pollo Estrel Medal.
CAPT FIZZ That’s right, we’ve got the final three qualifying matches in the Buck U Cup tournament on tap tonight, not to mention Anna Mathews makes her unprecedented fourth title defense of the Estrel Medal.
TMG But before we get there we have an added match, just signed earlier today. Let’s go to the ring and Nick Christoulos for the official ring introductions.
NICK CHRISTOULOS Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is a wrestling match and is scheduled for ONE FALL with a ten minute time limit. When the ring sounds, the man in charge is referee Jose Doe. Already in the ring, weight unknown and from Parts Unknown. Ladies and gentlemen, I give to you the Masked Unknown!
The masked gets little reaction from the crowd. “Mr Ragga” starts playing and the crowd turns to the entrance way just as Jin Hirai bursts out and starts dancing his way to the ring.
NICK CHRISTOULOS No making his way towards the ring, he weighs in tonight at one hundred and sixty eight pounds. He comes to us from the funky streets of Tokyo, Japan. Ladies and gentlemen, I give to you Jin Hirai!
Jin dances his way around the ring and stops at the commentary table to high five Eli and the two share a quick hug before Jin rolls into the ring.
TMG Jin Hiria was one of the lucky two men to receive byes in the Buck U Cup. Later tonight we’ll find out who he’ll face next week when Fatitili will face Firefly.
CAPT FIZZ What was that all about?
ELI BUCHANAN What, a man can’t have friends? We met during my time in Japan and train together. Get over it.
Pollomania’s only masked referee, Jose Doe, gives the two men their instructions and calls for the bell to sound. The Masked Unknown tries to lock up but Jin Hirai yells for him to stop.
JIN HIRAI We’re going to start this show off right, bayaby!
He starts clapping his hands, getting the crowd involved. A funky beat starts playing and he starts dancing in the ring. I’m not with it enough to describe Jin’s dance moves, so you’re going to have to trust me that they’re pretty awesome! The crowd applauds and he takes a bow. He turns it over to The Masked Unknown, who pulls out some lame break dance moves. The crowd boos, but Unknown doesn’t care. He’s so lost in his own terrible rhythm that he doesn’t notice Jin taking aim and when he turns around gets his head almost taken off with a scissor kick.
CAPT FIZZ Thank God! I haven’t seen dance moves that bad since you’re wedding, Loco.
TMG (ignoring the comment) He calls that the Jamrock. That’s usually is his set up for his finisher, which can only mean one thing.
Jin Hirai drags The Masked Unknow’s limp body to the corner before ascending to the top rope. He signals to the crowd before leaping off and hitting a perfectly executed “Jin and Tonic” 450 splash and goes for the pin.
1… 2… 3…
NICK CHRISTOULOS Here’s the winner of the match, Jin Hirai!
ELI BUCHANAN That was short and sweet.
CAPT FIZZ Agreed, but did he have to let the Unknown start dancing before kicking his head off?
ELI BUCHANAN It’s called baiting your opponent into a trap.
Jin is celebrating in the ring, when a ring attendant walks down to ringside and hands him a box. Jin asks him who it’s from but the attendant shrugs his shoulders and leaves. Jin opens the box and looks confused as he pulls out a flower. He exits the ring and he speaks with says something to Eli.
ELI BUCHANAN Your guess is as good as mine.
Looking confused, he carries the flower up the ramp way as we go to break.
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Post by Buck U Productions on Sept 25, 2017 4:19:31 GMT
NICK CHRISTOULOS Ladies and gentlemen, the following is a wrestling match and is scheduled for ONE FALL! It is a first round match in the Buck U Cup tournament and has a ten minute time limit. When the ring sounds, the man in charge is referee Jose Doe. Introducing to the corner to my right. He weighed in tonight at one hundred and seventy pounds He comes to us from the Orville Residence. Ladies and gentle, I give to you Orville Newton!
Orville waves to the crowd and actually receives a momentary “Orville” chant.
CAPT FIZZ Hey Loco, isn’t that your personal assistant? I thought he gave up wrestling.
TMG Apparently we weren’t paying him enough on on the podcast to make a living.
CAPT FIZZ Wait a minute! He was getting paid?
NICK CHRISTOULOS And his opponent…
The parody song “All About the Bass” starts playing and everyone turns to the entrance ramp, awaiting Captain Gill Baits. From right in front of the commentary table, Baits comes crawling from under the ring. He crawls into the ring attacks Orville from behind and Doe calls for the bell.
ELI BUCHANAN I was wondering what that smell was!
TMG Here we go, ladies and gentlemen!
Baits shoves Orville into the corner and punches him in the stomach.
CAPT BAITS How about a knuckle sandwich for your bread basket!
The terrible pun gets a groan from the crowd. Baits continues his assault with several more punches before whipping Orville across to the opposite corner. He charged in but Orville managed to get his foot up in time to catch him flush in the face.
ELI BUCHANAN How about a little toe jam for that sandwich?
CAPT FIZZ What?
ELI BUCHANAN It sounded better in my head.
Baits drops to the mat and rolls out of the ring. Orville is quick to follow him and ducks a clothesline and strikes the seaman with a haymaker. Baits stumbles backwards. Orville seems shocked at how effective his punch was. He charges forward but Baits grabs him by the shirt and pulls him face first into the ring post. Meanwhile, Jose Doe has begun counting.
3… 4… 5… 6…
Orville collapses to the ground, holding his face. Baits drags him feet first back to the post. He reaches under the ring and pulls out a roll of fishing line.
10… 11…
Out of view of the referee, Baits raps the fishing line around the ring post and Orville’s right foot. Orville tries to stop him but Baits punches him between the eyes, stunning him long enough to finish tying his leg up, with a fisherman’s knot of course, and gets back in the ring.
CAPT FIZZ Oh please, it can’t end this way!
Doe continues the count as Baits stands there counting alongside him. Meanwhile Orville is desperately trying to untie the knot to no avail.
15… 16… 17…
Orville manages to get the knot untied and as quick as he can unravels the fishing line. He scrambles to his feet and tries to slide into the ring, but it’s too late.
20…!
Orville rolls into the ring a moment too late. Jose Doe raises Baits hand as Nick Christoulos makes the official announcement.
NICK CHRISTOULOS Here’s your winner, by count out, Captain Gill Baits!
Baits rolls out of the ring and hurriedly makes his way up the entrance ramp as Orville argues with the referee to no avail. We go to break as Orville kicks the bottom rope in frustration.
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Post by Buck U Productions on Sept 25, 2017 4:23:36 GMT
NICK CHRISTOULOS Ladies and gentlemen, the following is a wrestling match and is scheduled for ONE FALL! It is a first round match in the Buck U Cup tournament and has a ten minute time limit. When the ring sounds, the man in charge is referee Jose Doe. Introducing to the corner to my right. He weighed in tonight at two hundred and thirty pounds. He comes to us tonight from Motown. He is “The Funk”! Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you MANDINGO! AND TO THE CORNER TO MY LEFT! He weighed in tonight at four hundred and twenty pounds. He comes to us tonight from Fayetteville, North Carolina. Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you The Big O!
Jose Doe calls for the bell. The competitors meet in the centre of the rings. MANDINGO looks around, looking smug at the crowd before slapping the taste out of The Big O’s mouth. The big man immediately shoves him and sends the smaller man flying out of the ring between the ropes. He follows him out of the ring and chases MANDINGO round to the far side and back in. MANDINGO bounces off the ropes and comes back at Big O and gets shoulder checked to the mat. The proprietor of “Waffles and Hoes” slowly gets to his feet and backs away the “Fayetteville Freak”. Big O tries to charge in to stay on the offense, but Jose Doe tries to hold him back. MANDINGO takes the opportunity to reach over the referee’s shoulder and jams a thumb in the big man’s eye.
ELI BUCHANAN Great game plan. It doesn’t matter how big or tough you are, there’s no way to protect your eyes.
TMG It certainly shows you how important winning the Buck U Cup is to these men. We saw the depths that Gill Baits went to, now we’re seeing what MANDINGO will go to as well.
Doe is checking on Big O when MANDINGO yells for him to move. The referee has just enough time to get out of the way before MANDINGO comes crashes with a big boot that drops his opponent. He immediately jumps on him and rains down a series of punches. He pulls Big O up to his feet and strikes a kung fu pose before striking him with a back handed strike, followed by a pair of body kicks and finishing with a discus backfist. He bounces of the ropes and goes for another big boot but Big O ducks the kick and lifts him up before dropping him with a power bomb.
CAPT FIZZ Where did he pull that out of?
Big O doesn’t immediately follow up, his eye visibly swelling from the thumb poke. Both men slowly get to their feet. MANDINGO swings with a right hand, catching the bigger man on the jaw but Big O appears unfazed. MANDINGO hits another right hand and Big O answers with one of his own the staggers the smaller man. They exchange another right hand each and again Big O comes out of it the better. MANDINGO tries for another strike but Big O catches his arm and whips him into the ropes. He pops his opponent into the air and hits him with a uppercut on the way down. He follows up with a big splash and goes for the pin.
1… 2… 3…
TMG And just like that Big O wins it. MANDINGO put up quite the effort but he just wasn’t enough him.
CAPT FIZZ I think I’ve just found my pick to win the tournament. My question is, can anyone beat him?
TMG Folks, we’ll be right back.
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Post by Buck U Productions on Sept 25, 2017 4:29:50 GMT
We return from break and there seems Brandon has been invaded by an alien!
CAPT FIZZ Hey look, it's Zargnax!
TMG It's great to see the former Twin Eggs and Scramble Champion here in attendance.
ELI BUCHANAN Just as long as he doesn't zap anyone with his lazer gun. The last time he did we ended up with a walking pile of moss running around here.
NICK CHRISTOULOS Ladies and gentlemen, the following is a wrestling match and is scheduled for ONE FALL! It is a first round match in the Buck U Cup tournament and has a ten minute time limit. When the ring sounds, the man in charge is referee Jose Doe. Introducing to the corner to my right. He weighed in tonight at one hundred and eighty pounds. He comes to us tonight from American Samoa. Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you Faititli! AND TO THE CORNER TO MY LEFT! He weighed in tonight at one hundred seventy five pounds. He comes to us tonight from The Sky. Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you Firefly!
TMG Here we go folks. Don't you dare blink, otherwise you might miss something.
The bell sounds and the two high flyers circle each other before locking up. As soon as the collar and elbow tie-up is made, Faititili takes Firefly over with an armdrag. The masked man is back to his feet quickly, but is on his back again just as quickly when The Little Samoan hits another armdrag. Firefly blocks a third armdrag, spins around, and takes the Polynesian’s legs from under him. Faititili lands hard on his back, but has no time to get up as the masked man from the sky lands a standing moonsault. Firefly hooks the leg.
1… 2…
Faititili kicks out just as the referee's hand hits the mat the second time, and The Little Samoan is quickly making his way to his feet, but is met by a forearm shot from Firefly. The high flyer goes to whip Faititili into the ropes, but the Samoan reverses the Irish whip. As Firefly rebounds, Faititili gets nice air as he leapfrogs him. The Samoan wows the crowd as he repeats the leapfrog, this time with his back to Firefly. The masked Luchador comes off the ropes and is rocked by a dropkick that sends him to the outside. The Polynesian runs the ropes and takes flight with a beautiful Tope con Hilo. Both wrestlers are on the floor, but Faititili looks like he may have taken the worst of the move. The referee begins his count.
CAPT FIZZ What's that line again Eli about "high risk and high reward"?
ELI BUCHANAN You pretty much said it yourself, the there is "high risk". Take it from a guy who used to do moves like that, after a while they take a toll on your body.
1… 2… 3… 4… 5… Firefly gets up and reenters the ring. 6… Faititili gets up and goes to slide under the bottom rope, but Firefly knocks him back to the floor with a baseball slide kick. As the Samoan recovers on the floor, Firefly climbs to the top turnbuckle, and leaps off with a flying cross body. The referee again begins his count.
1… Firefly pulls Faititili up and applies a front facelock. 2… The masked man climbs the ringsteps, still holding onto The Little Samoan’s head. 3… 4… Firefly jumps off and hits a swinging tornado DDT on the floor. 5… Faititili pops up, seemingly unaffected by the impact to the floor. The Samoan smiles and pats his head. 6… 7… Firefly rolls under the bottom rope and into the ring, followed by Faititili. Firefly catches Faititili with a running legdrop as he's entering the ring. The masked man covers Faititili and hooks the leg.
1… 2…
Faititili kicks out at 2 ½!
Firefly senses the time is right and goes to the top. Faititili is struggling to get to his feet. Firefly leaps from the top…..and Faititili meets him with a leaping headbutt! Firefly crumples to the mat, and The Little Samoan climbs the turnbuckles. Faititili salutes the crowd, the leaps off with a huge splash from the top rope. Faititili hooks the leg as the ref counts.
1… 2… 3!!!
TMG What a match!
ELI BUCHANAN I'll admit that Faititi really showed me something here tonight. He's going to have his hands full with my buddy, Jin next week though.
Faititili and Firefly shakes hands and Firefly raises his hand before we go to break.
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Post by Buck U Productions on Sept 25, 2017 4:31:11 GMT
We return from break and look who’s sitting in the front row.
CAPT FIZZ Hey look, it’s Blaise Fader!
TMG Next week she faces the winner of this upcoming match for the Pollo Estrel Medal. Wouldn’t it be something if Van Roost would win and get another chance to prove he can beat this young lady.
NICK CHRISTOULOS Ladies and gentlemen, the following is a wrestling match and is scheduled for a twenty minute time limit. It is for the Estrel Medal and is your MAIN EVENT OF THE EVENING! When the ring sounds, the man in charge is will be Pollomania senior referee, Smalltooth Jones.
“Rooster” by Alice in Chains starts playing. Lights Dim throughout the arena. A single orange spotlight fades in on the entrance. Jan van der Roost slowly walks out, a pair of orange gloves in one hand, a towel around his neck. He looks towards the ring, then walks ahead, with his head down. A figure in a hooded sweater suddenly jumps over the barricade and attacks Van Roost. The lights come up and the beating continues. The figure suddenly stands up straight and pulls down the hood.
TMG It’s Hammerstein!
CAPT FIZZ That son of a bitch. What’s he doing here?
ELI BUCHANAN What do you mean “what’s he doing here”? This is a receipt! Hammerstein felt the rooster put his nose where it didn’t belong and now it’s time for some payback!
Hammerstein grabs a chair from the crowd and folds it up. Raising it above his head and smashes it down across Roost’s back. Officals run down to ringside and try to stop him but Hammerstein waves the chair around, scattering them, and strikes Roost with a second and third chair shot. Hammerstein pulls him up by the hair and and yells in his face.
HAMMERSTEIN I’m going to take off your f%@king head off, old man!
He lifts the hair up over his head one more time, evil intentions written across his face. The lights in the building flicker and the T.A.R.D.I.S. appears at ringside and Anna Mathews steps out, brandishing a chair of her own, waving it threatenly at Hammerstein. He drops his chair and backs up the ramp, smiling, having already done what he had set out to do. Officials are finally able to move in and check on Jan van der Roost
TMG Folks, we’re going to go to commercials so Jan can be checked out. We’ll be right back.
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Post by Buck U Productions on Sept 25, 2017 4:33:22 GMT
Back from commercial break and we see both competitors in the ring. Officials are begging Roost not to compete but he’s insisting that he can compete. Referee Smalltooth Jones reluctantly nods to Nick, who makes the ring introductions.
NICK CHRISTOULOS Ladies and gentlemen, the following is a wrestling match and is scheduled for a twenty minute time limit. It is for the Estrel Medal and is your MAIN EVENT OF THE EVENING! In the corner to my right, he weighed in tonight at two hundred and two pounds and comes to us from Utrecht, The Netherlands by way of Detroit, Michigan. Ladies and gentlemen, I give to you Jan Van Roost!
Roost is obviously in pain but lifts his hand in the air and waves at the crowd.
NICK CHRISTOULOS Aaand to the corner to my left. I’ve been told her weight is none of my business and it doesn’t matter where she’s from because she’s been everywhere several times and has the post cards to prove it. She is the reigning and defending Estrel Medal Champion. Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you Anna MATHEWS!
Anna looks somewhat reluctant to compete here tonight but shrugs her shoulder and waits for the bell to ring.
ELI BUCHANAN The rooster has got more guts than brains! Doesn’t he realize he’s risking permanent injury by competing?
TMG I didn’t realize you cared about him, Eli.
ELI BUCHANAN I don’t, but if he’s crippled he won’t be able to make those wooden horses he promised my kids!
The bell rings and Roost waves Anna on. Anna looks hesitant then sudden charges in and delivers a Shoryuken! Uppercut goes for the pin.
1… 2…
Roost kicks out. Anna shakes her head, it’s clear that she was hoping that she could put this one away quickly so he opponent could get some help. She points to Eli, who shrugs his shoulders. Anna picks Jan up and hooks both his arms from behind with a double arm chicken wing and suplexes him with a bridge for the pin.
1… 2…
Kick out!
CAPT FIZZ She just pulled a move out of your playbook, Eli.
ELI BUCHANAN She did a great job with it two but she didn’t have the size to hold him there for the three count.
TMG It’s telling though that she even could do a move that early in the match. There’s no way that Jan van der Roost should even be able to compete.
Anna pulls Jan up and sets up for the Heart Kick. At the last second he dodges it and catches her with a stiff kick, followed by a head butt. Anna stumbles back against the ropes, but comes out looking for a big kick. Roost grabs her foot and pulls her in and transitions into a small package.
1… 2…
She kicks out and. Both of the get to their feet and Roost ducks around and rolls her up with a school boy.
1… 2…
She kicks out again and they both get to their feet again quickly. Roost tries to hook her for a backslide but Anna spins free and hits flush in the chin with a leaping knee, followed up with a Heart Kick. She stares down at him for a moment and shakes her head again before dropping and going for the pin.
1… 2…
He kicks out at the very last second and Anna looks shocked at Jones.
CAPT FIZZ I can’t believe he’s still in the match!
TMG Late last week van der Roost criticized Anna for being so dependent on kick. If Jan finds some way to win this match you can bet he’ll be pointing out that her lack of “wrestling moves” in her arsenal had a hand in her not being able to beat him.
Anna signals for the Boomerfly Kick. She waits for Jan to rise to his feet and goes for the finishing blow. Roost side steps it and hits a superkick out of nowhere. Realizing that this might be his only chance to pull this match out he pulls her up in a front chancery and lifts her up and delivers a brainbuster. He slowly gets to his feet and methodically walks around her proan body and delivers the Garvin stomp to each of her limps ending with a stomp between her eyes. He drops on top of her and goes for the cover.
1… 2…
She manages to get her shoulder up at the last second. It’s Jan’s turn to shake his head, wondering what he needs to do. He pulls her to her feet and and goes for The Crow Double Arm DDT. Anna spins out and shoves him away and hits him with a Heart Kick right between the shoulder blades. Jan bounces off the ropes, chest first and turns around to eat a Bommerfly Kick. Anna goes for the pin one last time.
1… 2… 3…
Officials immediately get into the ring and start checking on Jan van der Roost. Meanwhile Anna climbs to her feet and raises her hand in the air. She goes over to check on her opponent, who offers her a nod. Smalltooth Jones hands her the Estrel Medal and she waves it in the air.
NICK CHRISTOULOS Here’s your winner… AND STILL POLLO ESTREL MEDAL CHAMPION, Anna Mathews!
TMG We just witnessed a hard hitting match. You’ve got to wonder though how different the results might have been if Hammerstein hadn’t gotten involved before the match had started.
CAPT FIZZ Mark my words, Loco, there’s no way this is going to be allowed to slide. Something’s got to be done about this.
TMG Ladies and gentlemen, I’ve just been told that next week we’ll see Hammerstein vs Jan van der Roost.
ELI BUCHANAN Oh great! My boys will never get those damn rocking chairs!
We return to the ring where Anna is still celebrating. The camera pans to Blaise Fader, standing in the crowd, applauding. Anna see her and we’re reminded by a graphic that these two will face each other next week for the Estrel Medal. Anna lifts the medal up in the air again and points at her and show ends with the two ladies staring at one another.
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Post by Buck U Productions on Sept 25, 2017 4:38:58 GMT
10/01 - Pollo Estrel from Saskatchewan
MAIN EVENT For the Pollo Estrel Medal Championship ANNA MATHEWS defends vs. BLAISE FADER 1 Fall - 20 Minute Time Limit
JAN VAN ROOST vs HAMMERSTEIN 1 Fall - 10 Minute Time Limit
BUCK U CUP QUARTERFINAL MATCH THE BIG O vs. CAPT GILL BAITS 1 Fall - 10 Minute Time Limit
BUCK U CUP QUARTERFINAL MATCH MADDOG BUSTER vs. THING DOS 1 Fall - 10 Minute Time Limit
*CARD SUBJECT TO CHANGE* (Because we make this shit up as we go along)
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