Post by Buck U Productions on Jun 14, 2016 6:27:36 GMT
“Ladies and gentlemen, you have been deceived. Earth is under attack!”
The camera fades in and we find Tiger Mask Red and Holly Guacamole standing at a podium with the all other members standing behind them; all of them wearing sunglasses and dressed like members of the Men in Black. Tiger steps forward and continues speaking.
“We are here to warn you that the tag team known as “Starship Madness” must be stopped. Zargnax and Algie have pulled the wool over everyone’s eyes for far too long. They come across as being comical in the way that they carry themselves in the ring and in their interviews but make no mistake, they are the biggest threat to mankind today.
“Now I realize that Zargnax does not come across as being the definition of an “intergalactic conqueror”, in fact in many ways he has appeared to be rather inept in his efforts to take over our planet. But don’t allow yourself to be sucked in by his lies. Zargnax is far more capable than he appears. It was the use of his laser gun that was the final nail in the coffin for the career of Al Nova, once thought to be the next top star here in Pollomania. After being put under mind control by this heinous extraterrestrial, Nova left the company and last heard had signed himself into a mental asylum and hasn’t been heard from since.
“Then there’s the matter of the creature lurking under Pollomania’s ring. I had but a brief run in with that... being and I swore to myself that I would never test my luck with it again. Yet that is what Zargnax and his alien technology has repeatedly done since the beginning of the year. When his gun was used to transport a second Mr. Crazy to our reality, it has set off a chain of events that has seen members of the Pollomania family, both in-ring competitors and the staff, suffer. The only reason why Algie is even teaming with Zargnax now is because his last two partners, the original Mr. Crazy and Corinthian, were both sucked under the ring by the creature, as well as his sidekick C.O.M.P.U.T.E.R.
“And whatever happened to the other Mr. Crazy any way, the one called Johnny Rousseau. More than likely, he’s floating in a vat of clear liquid back at Zargnax’s ship or was yet another victim of the creature under the ring, seeking to destroy the alien for his crimes against the time space continuum.
“No, ladies and gentlemen, Zargnax is anything but a funny clown. He is a menace to our world.
“Then there’s Algie. She has never truly explained where she comes from or how she has become such a strong competitor in such a short period of time. We have it under good authority though, that she can read minds and has stolen the in-ring knowledge of all Pollomania’s competitors with the power of her mind. That makes her a threat not only to the whole roster, but to the world as well. Imagine if she used those powers against our world leaders, she could use their knowledge against all of us and alongside Zargnax, could bring our world to its knees.”
“But, we have a plan,” Holly said, stepping forward, “At “Finger Lickin’ Fun” The Embassy Elite will defeat Starship Madness by any means necessary. We do this not just for ourselves and the Twin Egg Championships, but for the whole world! We will not allow these damn aliens to destroy our world like has been seen in so many movies like “Independence Day”, “The Day the Earth Stood Still”, “War of the Worlds”, “The Edge of Tomorrow”... actually in pretty much every film Tom Cruise does these days. We will crush this alien threat by breaking their mother-fucking necks and kick them off our planet. To quote President Whitmore from “Independence Day”: "We will not go quietly into the night!" We will not vanish without a fight! We're going to live on! We're going to survive! Today we celebrate our Independence Day!”
“Don’t worry, Pollomaniacs,” Tiger Mask Red concludes, “We will not let you down. It’s time that Starship Madness receives a beating like only a couple of Canadians can give. You can all sleep tight knowing that The Embassy Elite will soon be your new Twin Egg Champions and the alien threat will be squashed under our feet!”
“For the Embassy,” the whole group yells.
Fade to black.
The camera fades in and we find Tiger Mask Red and Holly Guacamole standing at a podium with the all other members standing behind them; all of them wearing sunglasses and dressed like members of the Men in Black. Tiger steps forward and continues speaking.
“We are here to warn you that the tag team known as “Starship Madness” must be stopped. Zargnax and Algie have pulled the wool over everyone’s eyes for far too long. They come across as being comical in the way that they carry themselves in the ring and in their interviews but make no mistake, they are the biggest threat to mankind today.
“Now I realize that Zargnax does not come across as being the definition of an “intergalactic conqueror”, in fact in many ways he has appeared to be rather inept in his efforts to take over our planet. But don’t allow yourself to be sucked in by his lies. Zargnax is far more capable than he appears. It was the use of his laser gun that was the final nail in the coffin for the career of Al Nova, once thought to be the next top star here in Pollomania. After being put under mind control by this heinous extraterrestrial, Nova left the company and last heard had signed himself into a mental asylum and hasn’t been heard from since.
“Then there’s the matter of the creature lurking under Pollomania’s ring. I had but a brief run in with that... being and I swore to myself that I would never test my luck with it again. Yet that is what Zargnax and his alien technology has repeatedly done since the beginning of the year. When his gun was used to transport a second Mr. Crazy to our reality, it has set off a chain of events that has seen members of the Pollomania family, both in-ring competitors and the staff, suffer. The only reason why Algie is even teaming with Zargnax now is because his last two partners, the original Mr. Crazy and Corinthian, were both sucked under the ring by the creature, as well as his sidekick C.O.M.P.U.T.E.R.
“And whatever happened to the other Mr. Crazy any way, the one called Johnny Rousseau. More than likely, he’s floating in a vat of clear liquid back at Zargnax’s ship or was yet another victim of the creature under the ring, seeking to destroy the alien for his crimes against the time space continuum.
“No, ladies and gentlemen, Zargnax is anything but a funny clown. He is a menace to our world.
“Then there’s Algie. She has never truly explained where she comes from or how she has become such a strong competitor in such a short period of time. We have it under good authority though, that she can read minds and has stolen the in-ring knowledge of all Pollomania’s competitors with the power of her mind. That makes her a threat not only to the whole roster, but to the world as well. Imagine if she used those powers against our world leaders, she could use their knowledge against all of us and alongside Zargnax, could bring our world to its knees.”
“But, we have a plan,” Holly said, stepping forward, “At “Finger Lickin’ Fun” The Embassy Elite will defeat Starship Madness by any means necessary. We do this not just for ourselves and the Twin Egg Championships, but for the whole world! We will not allow these damn aliens to destroy our world like has been seen in so many movies like “Independence Day”, “The Day the Earth Stood Still”, “War of the Worlds”, “The Edge of Tomorrow”... actually in pretty much every film Tom Cruise does these days. We will crush this alien threat by breaking their mother-fucking necks and kick them off our planet. To quote President Whitmore from “Independence Day”: "We will not go quietly into the night!" We will not vanish without a fight! We're going to live on! We're going to survive! Today we celebrate our Independence Day!”
“Don’t worry, Pollomaniacs,” Tiger Mask Red concludes, “We will not let you down. It’s time that Starship Madness receives a beating like only a couple of Canadians can give. You can all sleep tight knowing that The Embassy Elite will soon be your new Twin Egg Champions and the alien threat will be squashed under our feet!”
“For the Embassy,” the whole group yells.
Fade to black.