Post by Deleted on Jun 13, 2016 20:47:13 GMT
'An alien?!'
As the latest video uploaded to the Pollomania website opens, Alexandra Darlington – seen sitting on her bed, against a backdrop of posters of popstar heart-throbs - stares at her tablet as if she is incapable of believing what Google is telling her.
'Are you serious, she thinks she's an alien?!'
The heiress pointedly rolls her eyes.
'Ugh. I should have known. Your place is, like, a total freakshow! I mean, I should totally have sent you the receipt for my Ralph Lauren jacket that your geek totally ruined!!'
The brunette groans in irritation.
'But you know what?! It's whatever. I didn't even like that stupid jacket anyway. Daddy took me to New York and got me a better one.'
Lexxi holds her arm up to the camera, as if doing so gave fans at home a better view than they already had of her pricey new garment.
'Alexander McQueen. Twenty-five thousand dollars. Yeah. Joke's on you, bitches.'
The heiress smirks.
'That's right. I don't give a fuck about that geek drooling on my jacket, and I don't give a fuck about your stupid medal. If I wanted a medal, I'd ask Daddy to enter me in the national show jumping championships...I always win there. You know why? 'Cause I'm perfect. And I don't need a stupid medal to know that.
No, what I want out of this stupid match is to bash that LOSER's head in for CHEATING in that battle royal. Just like that bitch Kelly Spanner cheated to beat me in the stupid tournament. Joke's on her, she got kicked out. Karma's a bitch, honey.'
Lexxi's smirk widens.
'And now...the same thing's gonna happen to Annie Andrews, or whatever the fuck her name is. You know, the LOSER who thinks she's a fucking alien?!? 'Cause apparently, your fucking place can't hire any normal people. I mean, the 'Champion''s a fucking geek, and everyone else is some stupid dork in like a mask, or whatever. So I guess Alien Bitch fits right in...'
The heiress snorts with derisive laughter.
'It's whatever, though. I'm still gonna come in and show that bitch what happens when you fuck with Lexxi D. And I ain't talking lawsuits, honey. When I'm done with you, you're gonna wish you'd settled this in court. 'Cause let me clue you in on what's gonna happen on Thursday, 'kay?'
Alexandra leans in closer to the camera, glowering, yet with the wicked smirk still in place.
'On Thursday, there ain't gonna be a bunch of geeks around us. On Thursday, you're not gonna get to sit there doing NOTHING for like half an hour and then cheat to win. On Thursday, it's gonna be just you and me. One on one. And guess what, honey? That's right. I'm perfect. And you? You're just some jealous hater who can't even, like, talk properly. You say I sound like a fucking retard? At least I dann tolk leye deeezzz!'
Lexxi pulls a grimace to go along with her derpy tone, before rolling her eyes.
'So let me give you a little spoiler, 'kay? I know you NERDS hate spoilers or whatever, but I don't give a fuck. On Thursday, this is what's gonna happen, 'kay? I'm gonna walk in there, I'm gonna kick your ass back to Planet LOSER, and then I'm gonna get MY medal and I'm gonna take it back to Lion's Road. And then, I'm gonna be queen of the jungle there, and I'm gonna be the coolest and the prettiest and the most popular, and everybody's gonna be totally jealous, and everybody's gonna totally wish they were me. And you? You're gonna be back on your little spaceship or whatever, going back to Uranus. And if we're lucky, you're gonna stay there, and we won't have to look at your ugly disgusting retarded face ever again. I mean, talk about troll alert!'
The heiress feigns gagging for a moment, before turning back to the camera.
'So yeah, honey. You wanna say you're from space? Well, guess what? On Thursday, you're gonna be in my orbit. And you better get Ben 10 or whatever to save you, 'cause if you get too close...I'm gonna go supernova on your ass!'
Lexxi's grin returns in full force.
'Honey...forget Twitter. On Thursday, you're gonna be in MySpace.
And in my space...no one's gonna hear you scream.'
With this, and one final, smug grin, Lexxi leans forward to turn off the camera and bring the video to an end.
Final Word Count: 749