|
Post by ISM Office on Apr 13, 2016 17:57:10 GMT
DR. SCREAM: THE FOLLOWING CONTEST IS SCHEDULED FOR A SINGLE FALL WITH A THIRTY MINUTE TIME LIMIT!
"The Day the Earth Stood Still" by Bernard Hermann begins as green and white lights begin flashing soon afterwards.
DR. SCREAM: INTRODUCING TEAM NUMBER ONE! AT A COMBINED WEIGHT OF FOUR HUNDRED AND FIFTY SEVEN HUMAN POUNDS! ZARGNAX AND ALGIE - STARSHIP MADNESS!
The giant egg opens up and smoke billows out as Zargnax arrogantly descends onto the stage via the rockets on his feet, soon followed by Algie who hesitantly steps through the smoke. Zargnax yells at her to follow him, as he strides down the ramp and into the ring, which she does. Once in the ring, Algie climbs one of the turnbuckles to pose, but Zargnax pulls her down and explains to her how everyone in the audience are human and stupid and shouldn’t be pandered to. Algie drops her head and walks over to the corner and sits. The Owl Man theme begins and after a few seconds Owl Man comes out of the egg, with his cape covering his face. As the song hits the first "OWL MAN!", pyro explodes on either side of the egg, and Owl Man throws the cape behind his back and opens his arms wide, soaking in the love.
Short people got No reason Short people got No reason Short people got No reason to live
DR. SCREAM: TEAM NUMBER TWO! AT A COMBINED WEIGHT OF A LOT! JASON ORION AND OWL MAN! - CONSTELLATION OWLSOME!
Randy Newman’s ode to the vertically challenged plays across the Pollo Hall speakers as the egg cracks and Jason Orion steps out, arms held aloft. The short but sweet wrestler high fives his partner and the two hop off either side of the ramp to slap hands with the fans. Once they reach ringside, they go all the way around slapping every hand before sliding into the ring. "O Canada" by Daylight for Deadeyes hits and the giant egg opens and Brutus Smith walks out with Holly on Brutus’ shoulders waving around a hockey stick. Brutus walks stoically down to the ring while Holly waves her stick at the crowd.
DR. SCREAM: TEAM NUMBER THREE! AT A COMBINED WEIGHT OF FIVE HUNDRED AND NINETY POUNDS - HOLLY GUACAMOLE! BRUTUS SMITH! THE CANADIAN EMBASSY MISFITS!
At ringside Brutus lifts Holly from his shoulders and places her on the apron, as she bends over to go between the middle and top rope she wiggles her bottom at the camera. Brutus then jumps on the apron and steps over the ropes. Holly skips around the ring while Brutus stands in the middle of it with his fists in the air. Zargnax watches wearily as Algie sits calmly in the corner. Holly Guacamole runs up and pokes Algie a couple of times with her hockey stick, but Popcorn Pollo whisks her away just as Owl Man attempts to intervene. Brutus Smith steps up to Owl Man, who takes a long and hard gulp before mustering up the courage to look up at the giant. Pollo hands Holly's stick to a stage hand and calls for the bell, Smith pie faces Owl Man and Orion tries to attack but Holly leaps on his back attempting to apply a sleeper hold! Zargnax and Algie watch the chaos ensue and Algie turns to her partner as if to ask "What have I got myself into?"
DR. SCREAM: YOUR REFEREE FOR THIS BOUT IS POPCORN POLLO!
BASTIAN KRULL: Starship Madness are very much the wildcard in this match. The previous beef between he and the Embassy was more or less swept under the rug because of the El Vainillo problem.
MANDARIN: Oh, but what a beef it was, Bastian Krull! The Embassy believed Zargnax to be the weak link of their Pollo Playhouse team! They blamed him for losing the match because his arm cannon malfunctioned and fireballed Tiger Mask Red! I believe you humans call that kind of thing karma!
Popcorn Pollo gets everything under control and orders three out, three in. Owl Man starts off for his team, Zargnax for his and Holly for hers. Zargnax and Holly actually work together and whip Owl Man into the ropes, but they try a double shoulder block and find themselves down on the mat and Owl Man still standing. They both get up, and Zargnax watches as Holly runs into him again to the same result. She gets up and tags in Brutus Smith! Owl Man unloads a few shots, prompting Zargnax to do the same as they actually manage to stagger the big man. Smith grabs Owl Man and whips him into the ropes, but on the return, a headbutt from Owl Man connects with Smith. Owl Man falls back into the ropes feeling the effects and Smith actually seems stunned as he turns around, shaking his head. Zargnax unleashes a Zoglorpian chop on the big man! Then a second! Brutus is actually stunned! Owl Man charges as Zargnax drops to his knees behind Brute... BELLY BOUNCE! Smith falls to the mat and rolls out of the ring.
BASTIAN KRULL: In case you're unfamiliar with Pollomania rules, any time a legal competitor touches the floor - any time - their partner automatically becomes the legal one. So, Holly Guacamole has found herself back in the match across from Zargnax and Owl Man!
Holly is forced to enter, but stands out on the apron protesting - claiming that Owl Man smells - Owl Man proudly proclaims that he's freshly showered. Zargnax is not fond of humans, freshly showered or not, and spins the hero with a heart of gold around and blasts him! He backs him into the ropes, but Owl Man reverses it and slams the Intergalactic Conquerer with a Samoan drop! Owl Man gets up and tags in Jason Orion, just as Zargnax gets back up to a knee. The two men stare each other down as Zargnax stands back up. Zargnax tells Orion that he's seen those 'scared' eyes before and this only serves to anger the supposed El Vainillo. The two get in each other's face and Zargnax tries to make the first move, but Orion ducks and lights him up with several forearm smashes that serve to back the alien into the ropes! Orion shoots him out, Zargnax reverses and tries to send Orion through the ropes but he lands on the apron! Zargnax turns around into a big boot from Brutus Smith!
MANDARIN: I do think that Zargnax could stand to build a new modular to alert him of any planet sized objects coming his way!
Orion tries a slingshot crossbody from the apron, but an overhand chop sends him splat to the mat! Smith walks over and tags in Holly Guacamole, who comes in skipping around, putting the boots to Zargnax and Orion as she does. She makes her rounds a couple times before Orion pops up, and drills her with the lil' boot! He tags in Owl Man, who comes in and puts Holly in the corner. He whips her across the ring right into Zargnax, who drives his knee across her spine with a side backbreaker! Zargnax then gets up right into Owl Man's face and the two come to blows! The ol' BOO! YAY! spot taking place, but Zargnax doesn't get as many jeers as you'd think - apparently the alien has some human supporters. This is 2016 though, alien invaders would probably have Tumblr blogs in support of them destroying mankind. Brutus Smith comes back in and goozles both men, chokeslamming them!
BASTIAN KRULL: I know I shouldn't be surprised at the strength of Brutus Smith, but those men are not small and he lifted them with ease!
Orion rushes in as Owl Man rolls out, taking the fight to Brutus Smith with several punches that don't do a whole lot. Before Brute can grab him, Orion ducks underneath and hits the ropes... looking for a floatover DDT... but Smith hangs on and hoists him in the air! Zargnax dropkicks the back of the big man's leg! The DDT connects! Orion covers!
1...
...
ZARGNAX PULLS HIM OFF!
Before Orion can take things up with Zargnax, Holly comes in and sends Zargnax to the floor. Orion turns his attention to her, backing her into the ropes and attempts to shoot her off but she reverses it and sends him in. Orion comes back with a flying forearm! Holly goes down and springs back up... DROPKICK! Down... back up... ENZUIGIRI! With Holly down, Orion signals for something and stands in front of her... 540 CORKSCREW MOONSAULT! He covers!
1...
...
2...
...
Brutus pulls him off and out of the ring! Zargnax slinks over for cover!
1...
...
2...
...
KICK OUT!
BASTIAN KRULL: Very close! Smart tactic by Zargnax! You don't know how out of it someone might be in this kind of match - there's bodies being slammed every which way and pins being broken up. It's entirely possible to steal a victory and Zargnax realized that. It is quite odd that Algie hasn't attempted to tag in and that Zargnax hasn't made any attempt to do so!
MANDARIN: Maybe she is a pacifist.
Brutus slides in and drills Zargnax with a headbutt that sends him down to the mat. Owl Man storms in, turns Brutus around...
MANDARIN: OH MY DARAMMU!
BODYSLAM! It wasn't a full bodyslam by any means, but he still got the big man up and down! Owl Man seems to be pumped full of energy from this and turns around basking in the roar of the crowd only to get the Holy Guacamole (Shining Wizard) from Holly! Orion comes in and tries to perform Short and Sweet on Holly! His front flip DDT! Holly slips out and pushes him back and looks on in horror as he's choking on nothing! Suddenly he goes up and down! Holly turns to see Algie has entered the ring in a big way with a Chokeslam from the Otherworld! She grabs Holly up in a fireman's carry and spins around for their Descent in Maelstorm! Several of the wrestlers try getting up to interrupt the move but the laws of physics are in all kinds of shambles causing them all to react unnaturally. Popcorn Pollo seems to be just short enough to avoid any effects - it's five feet or higher, I guess. Algie finishes spinning and drops Holly out of it with a Samoan driver! The impact causes each wrestler to repel out of the ring! Pollo counts!
1...
...
2...
...
3!
Popcorn Pollo tries to raise Algie's... err... he just decides to place the title in front of her. Her claws pick up the title and look at it curiously. Zargnax slides into the ring and recognizes what this means. He grabs his title out of Pollo's hand and leaps to his feet, ascending the turnbuckle and celebrating by shooting his ray gun off like a Texas oil tycoon. He quickly jumps down and realizes that such a thing might have serious reprecussions and holsters it up. He exits the ring on the ramp and encourages Algie to do so also as to avoid any chance of being close to under the ring.
MANDARIN: For not being any part of this match until the last moments, Algie has quite the interesting array of offense!
BASTIAN KRULL: Do you not get the feeling that our dimension is messing with one too many things?
MANDARIN: Way past that point.
BASTIAN KRULL: Nonetheless, Pollomania has new Twin Egg Champions - Zargnax and Algie - collectively known as Starship Madness. Perhaps the underdogs of this match coming in simply because of the wild card factor associated with Algie, but she won the match for her team so I'd say it was a good gamble!
MANDARIN: Ooh! I do understand that we have the Masked Guy backstage with some earthlings we saw on Pollo Estrel...
|
|
|
Post by ISM Office on Apr 13, 2016 18:15:18 GMT
That Masked Guy: Thanks Mandarin! Hey folks, greetings from the Seventh Moon of Thunder. I of course am El Hombre Loco Enmascarado, better known as That Masked Guy, and I’m one of the hosts of “Pollo Estrel” and if you haven’t seen our last episode, then you missed the formation of this group.
Moondog Buster comes in with Things One and Two, as well as a sunglasses wearing man in a golden turban and suit.
TMG: Greetings gentlemen, tonight you three have a huge opportunity to become the first ever Pollomania Golden Egg Champion, but speaking of eggs, who’s this guy.
The man shoves the crystal ball on the end of his cane into the announcer’s chest and speaks into the microphone.
Man: Mr. Announcer Man, shut your stinking mouth and listen to what someone who is your intellectual superior has to say. For you ignorant troglodytes out there who are too stupid to learn of my greatness, I am “The Guru” Greg Ego, and these fine men have aligned themselves with me because they know I can take them to the top!
TMG: The top of what, the buffet line? There are men and women out there that will eat these three alive if given the opportunity.
The Guru shoves his cane at him again before speaking: Hey, what did I tell you about keeping your yap shut? If I tell you these three men will be stars, I mean it! Mark my words, people will soon be singing the praises of “The Guru’s Gallery of Greatness”, better known to you morons as 3G!
He shoves the cane one more time into That Masked Guy’s chest.
The Guru: Come one guys, you have a Rumble to win!
TMG: Talk about delusions of grandeur! Mandarin and Bastian, back to you!
JBL: We've upgraded to 3G! HAHA! I LOVE IT MAGGLE!
|
|
|
Post by ISM Office on Apr 13, 2016 18:19:35 GMT
"Welcome to the Jungle" by Guns and Roses begins and plunges the Pollo Hall into darkness. Charlotte O'Neal leads Tiger Mask Red out of the entrance egg and the challenger takes a knee to raise his fists to the crowd as O'Neal applauds him. Tiger doesn't argue or threaten any fans on this occasion, he simply gets up and walks down the ramp looking very focused on the task at hand. He slingshots over the top rope and holds the ropes open for his wife. GNR fades out and "Ole" by the Bouncing Souls begins playing over the Hall's PA system. The Supremo Champion of the World - El Vainillo - comes rushing through the egg with his title held high. Owl Man trails behind with a towel and water bottle. Vainillo raises his arms to the crowd before strapping the title around his waist so he can begin the clap-along to the beat of the song! The crowd joins in and he sprints down to the ring, baseball sliding under the bottom rope. He gets up and storms right past Tiger Mask Red, climbing the turnbuckle and raising his arms again. He backflips off the turnbuckle, causing Tiger Red to make a stink about it. Vainillo removes his title and hands it to Smalltooth Jones as Owl Man gets in the ring.
DR. SCREAM: THIS CONTEST IS FOR THE SUPREMO CHAMPIONSHIP OF THE WORLD! IT IS TO BE FOUGHT OVER SIX FIVE MINUTE ROUNDS WITH TWO FALLS, TWO SUBMISSIONS OR A KNOCKOUT TO DECIDE THE WINNER! INTRODUCING FIRST... THE CHALLENGER! HE HAILS FROM GUELPH, ONTARIO! HE WEIGHED IN THIS MORNING AT TWO HUNDRED AND TWENTY FIVE POUNDS... THIS IS TIGER MASK RED!
Tiger grabs the ropes and begins stretching out.
DR. SCREAM: HIS OPPONENT HAILS FROM THE CONFECTIONERY AISLE! HE WEIGHED IN THIS MORNING AT ONE HUNDRED AND FIFTY POUNDS... HE IS THE CURRENT, REIGNING AND DEFENDING SUPREMO CHAMPION OF THE WORLD! LADIES AND GENTLEMEN! HE IS EL VAINILLO!
Vainillo gets a pretty babyface reaction compared to last time these two tangled in Montreal, plenty of streamers flying in the ring as Smalltooth Jones holds up the Supremo title before handing it off to a stage hand. He checks both men over and calls for the bell.
BASTIAN KRULL: Listen to the fans, Mandarin...
Chants for Vainillo and Tiger both are ongoing as the Pollo Hall rocks from the noise!
MANDARIN: A split crowd!
BASTIAN KRULL: Decidely more split than back in Montreal, but surprisingly even here in Minnesota - Tiger is getting lots of support!
MANDARIN: Oh, Bastian Krull, you do not have to be an alien to know that Minnesota is basically Canada!
The bell sounds to start the first five minute round and El Vainillo is showing signs of being fatigued - but it's not like he wrestled already or anything. Tiger begins trash talking early, threatening to unmask Vainillo but Vainillo responds by leveling him! A forearm smash to the face drives Tiger back and Vainillo tries to slap on a side headlock, but the challenger shoots him off the ropes and ducks down. Vainillo leaps over, jumps onto the second rope and moonsaults! Tiger catches him though and looks poised to slam him down to the mat... but Vainillo slithers out and arm drags him down! Tiger rolls to his feet and charges forth into a monkey flip! Tiger somehow manages to land on his feet, but doesn't have time to react to Vainillo springboarding off the ropes, across the ring with a crossbody block! Tiger catches him and the two fall back over the top rope and to the floor!
BASTIAN KRULL: Smalltooth Jones out to check on both men in lieu of a twenty count. It is normally a disqualification for throwing your opponent over the top rope, but obviously in this specific case - Tiger was thrown off balance by Vainillo's offensive move and clearly hadn't been intending to throw him over. Or maybe he had been! He hid it well if so!
MANDARIN: Maybe he had?! Oh, Mr. Krull, that is poppycock! Tiger Mask Red took as great a fall as El Vainillo did. I do not think either man benefited from this!
Jones has the round time stopped as Dr. Scream and he check out both men, Charlotte O'Neal and Owl Man both check on their respective representatives in this match. They back off as Scream and Jones give the nod to restart the clock. Tiger gets up and ravages Vainillo with a knee lift! He grabs the doubled over champion and leads him around the ringside area before throwing him directly into the side of the ramp! Tiger yanks him up by the mask and throws him back inside the ring! Tiger climbs up inside himself and crawls over to Vainillo... using a palm strike under the chin to send the champion staggering up to his feet. Vainillo turns around and eats a European uppercut that stumbles him into the ropes. Vainillo gets shot off and somehow manages to duck Tiger's attack. The champion stops dead in his tracks and wallops Tiger with a superkick! With Tiger dazed, Vainillo kicks him in the gut and shoves his head between his legs. He signals for the International Destroyer, but Tiger stands straight up, holding onto Vainillo thighs and yells "You watching, Soup!?" as he looks to deliver the Pollo's finishing move - the Pick Up and Delivery spinebuster (Alabama Slam) but Vainillo wriggles and slides down with a sort of sunset flip!
1...
...
2...
...
KICKOUT!
BASTIAN KRULL: A keen eye observes that Tiger Mask Red was watching Jones' count! He could have easily kicked out at one, but chose to wait until the last possible second just to get that extra rest. When you're going at it 100%, a slight change in direction or momentum can be absolutely detrimental - that is why flash pins are so effective. El Vainillo didn't get a whole lot behind the move, so I didn't get the sense that Tiger was in any real danger and his body language didn't indicate such either. He calmly kicked out.
Vainillo rolls backwards up to his feet, but again Tiger is right on him, drilling him with a knee lift. He whips the masked champion off the ropes and nails a beautiful looking tilt-a-whirl backbreaker! He hooks the leg on the cover!
1...
...
2-KICKOUT!
Tiger gets angry at Jones' count and responds by yanking Vainillo to his feet, applying an abdominal stretch and begins digging his fingers into the eye hole of Vainillo's mask! The ten second countdown begins for the end of the round and Tiger wrenches it in even tighter in the closing moments of round one! He releases the submission and hoists Vainillo into the air... dropping him across his knee as the bell sounds. Jones warns him, but Tiger says it was a buzzer beater!
BASTIAN KRULL: I'm not sure I believe that!
Both champion and challenger return to their corners where their cornermen hand them a bottle of water and towel them down. Owl Man offers words of encouragement, telling Vainillo to hang in there while Charlotte verbally dresses down Vainillo to Tiger Mask Red, telling him he hasn't got anything left after the tag match!
BASTIAN KRULL: It will be interesting to see what each competitor's approach is coming into round two. Round one was not so much a feeling out process as it was pretty action packed, but more an adjustment period.
MANDARIN: Ah, yes! Getting used to this round system. Five minutes can either fly by or drag on - depending on which side of the beatdown you are on! Haha!
The bell sounds and both men come out of their corner with Tiger offering up a knuckle lock! El Vainillo reluctantly accepts it and quickly finds himself being forced down to the mat! Tiger forces both of Vainillo's arms and shoulders down to the mat!
1...
...
2...
Vainillo bridges up! Tiger keeps Vainillo's arms pinned down and kicks his legs up into the air, but Vainillo gets his legs up and pushes Tiger back - bringing both men to their feet still in the knuckle lock! Vainillo leaps onto the top rope and uses Tiger as a base to keep his balance as he runs across the top rope to the turnbuckle at which point he leaps off...
BASTIAN KRULL: INTERNATIONAL DESTROYER!
The flip piledriver connects! Every bit of it! Vainillo covers!
1...
...
2...
...
3!
DR. SCREAM: THE WINNER OF THE FIRST FALL AT 2:12 OF ROUND TWO! EL VAINILLO!
BASTIAN KRULL: You will be seeing that one in highlight reels and in YouTube videos for years to come! That was insane!
Vainillo crawls to his corner where Owl Man praises him while the ringside doctor checks over Tiger Mask Red for any signs of a neck injury, speaking to the challenger and asking him to move his fingers and toes. Everything seems to be OK. Smalltooth Jones officially starts the sixty second rest period once Tiger Mask Red is seated on his stool. O'Neal shoves the camera away as she gives her advice to her husband.
MANDARIN: Bastian Krull, I do not think scoring the first fall was a positive for El Vainillo. An angry, extra hungry Tiger Mask Red is a very dangerous competitor!
BASTIAN KRULL: A very dangerous competitor is also prone to making mistakes.
The bell sounds and Tiger Mask Red tries rushing El Vainillo, but eats a drop toe hold that lands him throat first across the second rope! Tiger is on his knees holding his throat when El Vainillo rushes in with a front dropkick that sends the challenger through the ropes onto the floor! Vainillo bounces off the ropes and rushes toward the ropes closest to Tiger, he grabs them and is about to launch into his 720 corkscrew plancha, but Tiger slides into the ring! Vainillo manages to land safely on the apron, aborting the move! However, Tiger levels the champion with a European uppercut and sends him to the floor! Tiger goes out after him, picking him up and Irish whipping him into the ramp!
BASTIAN KRULL: That ramp isn't soft! It's like getting Irish whipped into the ring apron! Neither of which are particularly fun!
Tiger grabs Vainillo and rolls him into the ring, sliding in right behind him. Tiger watches Vainillo army crawl a few feet before stepping on the back of his legs, hooking his feet around his legs, then grabbing Vainillo's mask to apply a surfboard! Tiger begins ripping the mask even more, screaming "I'm going to expose you, Jason!" but Smalltooth Jones forces him to stop. Tiger releases the hold, but quickly snatches the Supremo Champion up and delivers a Canadian backbreaker! Vainillo slithers away in pain, crawling over the corner. He tries to pull himself up, but Tiger is there to greet him, yanking him up to a standing position and begins firing off European uppercuts. Or... that was his plan. Because Vainillo ducks it and turns the table on his challenger! He fires off several forearm shots and then tries to whip him across the ring, but Tiger counters it and kicks Vainillo in the gut... VERTICAL SUPLEX! He rolls his hips, keeping the setup applied and suplexes him again! He rolls his hips once more, trying for a third but he gets Vainillo half way in the air and eats a knee to the head! Tiger absorbs it though... BRAINBUSTER! Cover!
1...
...
2...
THE BELL SOUNDS!
Tiger leaps up in celebration, but Smalltooth Jones yanks his arm down and tells him that the round has ended. The challenger is livid! Charlotte O'Neal gets in the ring and argues the count should not have been interrupted by the time expiring, but Jones is having nothing of it! He threatens to ban her from ringside again if she doesn't get out of his face! O'Neal looks like she wants to slap the last remaining teeth out of Jones' skull, but she backs off and hands Tiger his water bottle. Owl Man props Vainillo up in the opposite corner and tells him that he's got four more rounds to go - or just one more fall!
MANDARIN: Believing that El Vainillo will make it twenty more minutes is awfully optimistic. The champion was just about to be pinned!
The third round begins and Tiger Mask Red takes the fight right to the champion, picking him up and putting him on the top rope! Vainillo tries to kick him away, but a palm strike to the throat puts a stop to that and sends the champion dangling upside down in the corner! Tiger turns around and begins talking trash to the Owl Man before turning around. He sizes up Vainillo and then rushes in... Vainillo pops up causing Tiger to miss his dropkick and baseball slide out onto the floor! Vainillo leaps off the top rope with a 450 splash! He takes Tiger out and somehow manages to quickly return to his feet, picking up Tiger and rolling him into the ring! Tiger scrambles to his feet as Vainillo slides in and rushes him, Tiger tries to turn it into a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker but Vainillo turns it into a headscissors takedown! Tiger stumbles back to his feet... HURRICANRANA! Vainillo holds for the cover!
1...
...
2...
...
3!
BASTIAN KRULL: He kicked out at the last possible millisecond! How he did that I will never know!
MANDARIN: One millisecond away from a clean sweep. Could you imagine? El Vainillo would never close his lying mouth about it!
Tiger gets up and nearly turns Vainillo into chocolate with a lariat, then pulls him to his feet and backs him into the ropes! He shoots him off... Vainillo handsprings off the ropes but Tiger catches him! GERMAN SUPLEX! He grabs Vainillo's nearly unconscious body and chickenwings his arms... pulling him up just to Tiger suplex him back down! He covers!
1...
...
2...
...
3!
MANDARIN: An even score!
BASTIAN KRULL: Rounds 2 and 3 bring us a fall apiece leaving us with three rounds, fifteen minutes total to decide a winner.
MANDARIN: At the pace they are going, Bastian Krull, I do not foresee this being an issue!
The bell to begin round four sounds and Tiger again charges forth, scooping up Vainillo in a fireman's carry and crashes him into the corner turnbuckle! Vainillo tries to stand, but slumps down to a knee as Tiger walks to the other corner. Tiger again points at Owl Man before sprinting across the ring! Vainillo MONKEY FLIPS him! Tiger lands upside down in the corner and gets a foot caught up! Vainillo turns around and begins stomping a mudhole in Tiger's vulnerable midsection! Jones gets to five, but Vainillo doesn't stop! Jones produces a yellow card and finally Vainillo snaps back to reality and apologizes.
DR. SCREAM: SMALLTOOTH JONES HAS ISSUED A YELLOW CARD TO EL VAINILLO - HIS FIRST PUBLIC WARNING!
Jones tells Vainillo to back off so he can free up Tiger Mask Red after seeing he can't do it on his own, Vainillo does but as soon as Tiger drops to the mat... the champion charges in! Tiger is ready though and catches him with an upkick to the gut! Vainillo stumbles back into the centre of the ring! Tiger charges in... HEADSCISSORS! He twists around and turns it into a tornado DDT! Both men are down! Vainillo looks out of it from a devastating DDT, but the challenger doesn't look to be in any condition to be able to capitalize on what could be a winning pinfall! Jones begins his knockout count and gets to six before Tiger crawls to the turnbuckle and pulls himself up. Vainillo rolls out to the floor on eight in what seems unintentional more than anything. Owl Man rushes to his aid and helps him up only for both men to get plancha'd on by the challenger! Tiger once again is unable to capitalize on his attack! Charlotte O'Neal rushes to his side, trying to help him to his feet but Smalltooth Jones gets out of the ring and tells her to back off. Owl Man is given the same instructions as Tiger pulls himself up using the apron and slides into the ring. Vainillo crawls up the ramp stairs and rolls himself onto the ramp, then into the ring. Tiger grabs him and covers!
1...
...
2...
NO! ONLY TWO!
Tiger slams the mat in frustration. As quickly as he can given his state, he grabs Vainillo in a double underhook and looks poised to hit the Tiger driver but Vainillo backdrops him into a cutback cradle pin!
1...
...
2...
...
3!
NO! ONLY TWO AGAIN!
Even Vainillo expresses frustration with Jones' count, believing he had the match won. The bell sounds to end round four just as Tiger kicks Vainillo in the head! Jones pushes Tiger back to his corner and Vainillo goes down and outside the ring. He retrieve his towel off of Owl Man and puts it under his mask for a few moments. He takes it back out and we see from both the towel and the blood soaking into his mask that Vainillo could very well have a broken nose from that kick! He throws the towel down and storms inside the ring after Tiger who dips out. As the bell sounds to start round five, Jones yells at Tiger to get back in or he's getting a yellow card. Tiger tells him to back Vainillo off and he'll get in. So Jones does, and the challenger gets in but gets immediately rushed by a kick to the gut! Vainillo whips him across the ring to the opposite corner and Tiger Red hits hard sternum first. Tiger falls back into the middle of the ring as Vainillo climbs the turnbuckle... MISSILE DROPKICK! Vainillo once again sticks his hand under his mask to help him breath a bit before walking over and applying a front facelock. Vainillo tries to front flip over, but Tiger shoves him and grabs him in a front waistlock and belly to belly suplexes him! Tiger stumbles getting up to his feet, having to use the ropes to pull himself up. He rushes Vainillo... BIG BOOT TO THE GUT! Tiger doubles over and Vainillo whips him into the corner again! Once again - sternum first! Vainillo grabs him, turns him around and whips him into the opposite corner to the same result! He staggers out backwards and Vainillo grabs a rear waistlock and rolls back!
BASTIAN KRULL: O'CONNOR ROLL!
1...
...
2...
...
3-NO! NOT THIS TIME!
The flash pin that has previously been so effective against Tiger Mask Red doesn't seal the deal this time and the champion sits up and falls back to the mat in frustration. Tiger crawls up to his knees and El Vainillo la magistrals him!
1...
...
2...
KICKOUT!
Vainillo slams his hands in frustration once more. He gets up, takes a stroll around the ring to collect his thoughts and then goes to pick up Tiger, who yanks him by the tights into the turnbuckles! Vainillo's head snaps back and Tiger school boys him!
1...
...
2...
...
NOPE!
Tiger rolls out of the ring and shakes his head, thinking about what he's going to do. He casually walks around the ring completely and walks up the ramp stairs, then sees Owl Man getting up... he smirks, walks down the stairs and runs up and hoofs Owl Man in the side! El Vainillo exits the ring and chases him around as round five comes to a close!
BASTIAN KRULL: Here we are Mandarin - the sixth and final round! A lot riding on five minutes here.
MANDARIN: AIPollo has decreed there will no overtime either!
El Vainillo can't stand still in his corner and Tiger Mask Red smirks at him which only serves to anger the fan favourite even more! The bell sounds and Vainillo storms out of his corner, but Tiger drops out of the ring. It doesn't matter though because Vainillo goes right out after him. Tiger slides back into the ring and tries to jump Vainillo when he does so, but the champion takes him down to the mat and begins pummelling away and then chokes the challenger! Jones gives him a five count, but he still doesn't break! Jones shoves a yellow card in his face and he snaps back.
DR. SCREAM: SMALLTOOTH JONES HAS ISSUED A YELLOW CARD TO EL VAINILLO - HIS SECOND PUBLIC WARNING!
Tiger boots him in the face again and Vainillo yelps very audibly. He goes down holding his nose and lifts his mask a bit to drain some blood out. Tiger stomps on his back to flatten him out and applies a camel clutch, covering his mouth with his forearm. Tiger repeatedly asks, "How you gonna breathe, Jason!?" as he wrenches the hold in tighter. Vainillo gets an arm free and pulls himself toward the ropes, Tiger tries to stand to pull him back and Vainillo uses this chance to leap up and slam the piggybacking Tiger into the mat! His head connects with Tiger's jaw! Tiger rolls over in pain as Vainillo climbs up to his feet. Charlotte O'Neal hands something to Tiger as Vainillo gets to a vertical base. O'Neal gets up on the apron and before she can even say or do anything, Jones motions to the back to a ridiculous pop! Security whisks her away and Jones turns around to see a fireball fly into Vainillo's face! Vainillo goes down in a hurry and Jones calls for the bell!
BASTIAN KRULL: He just cost himself the title!
MANDARIN: Did he, Bastian? Did he really?
BASTIAN KRULL: He just fought over twenty five minutes to lose via DQ? Why!?
MANDARIN: You are an intelligent man. You saw what I saw - Charlotte O'Neal was ejected instantly - I do not think they were counting on that part of their plan going awry. However, the important part still came to fruition.
BASTIAN KRULL: What are you talking about?!
Medics rush in and cover Vainillo's face with wet towels as Tiger is pulled out of the ring by Brutus Smith, who just arrived at ringside.
MANDARIN: What better way to prove that Jason Orion and El Vainillo are indeed the same person?
BASTIAN KRULL: ...
MANDARIN: Exactly! It is perfect! If Jason Orion suddenly becomes nervous about showing his face then what does that tell you, Bastian?
BASTIAN KRULL: ... yeah, I guess you're right.
Owl Man comes to and sees his friend, he grabs the title belt and rushes to his aid. Despite being covered by a towel, Vainillo raises his title high into the air despite the tainted victory. Medics whisk him to the back as we go to a Pollo Bucket ad.
|
|
|
Post by ISM Office on Apr 13, 2016 19:16:02 GMT
The Rumble infographic appears on the Pollovision.
DR. SCREAM: LADIES AND GENTLEMEN! IT IS NOW TIME FOR THE ROTISSERIE RUMBLE! IN A FEW MOMENTS WE WILL START WITH OUR FIRST BATCH OF FOUR! EVERY THREE MINUTES ANOTHER BATCH OF FOUR WILL BE ADDED UNTIL ALL SIXTEEN COMPETITORS ARE IN THE MATCH! THE ONLY WAY TO WIN IS TO BE THE LAST PERSON STANDING IN THIS ELIMINATION MATCH! ELIMINATION CAN OCCUR BY PINFALL, SUBMISSION, BY BEING THROWN OVER THE TOP ROPE AND HAVING BOTH FEET TOUCH THE FLOOR OR BY FAILING TO RETURN TO THE RING BY A 20 COUNT IF YOU EXIT!
The crowd anticipation grows!
DR. SCREAM: LET'S FIND OUT WHO THE FIRST BATCH OF ENTRANTS ARE:
G-Eazy's "Almost Famous" hits and gets accompanied by a small pop, but mostly boos. The egg opens and steam pours out as "DEEZY TAUGHT ME" appears on the Pollovision screens. Vaughn Ronie Jr walks out and extends his arms back, pointing to the egg as the beat gets heavy and D.C. Wiland storms through the steam. He rushes down the ramp and slingshots himself into the ring, climbing to the nearest turnbuckle and taking his tank top off. Vaughn Ronie Jr exits back through the entrance egg. The Prodigy's "Serial Thrilla" hits and Stuntman Dan bounces down the ramp to the beat, quickly getting into the ring. Evanescence's "Weight of the World" begins and Ursula Areano runs down the ramp and hops in. "All About the Bass" hits and the Codfather himself, "Captain" Gill Baits walks out in his yellow fishing gear with his fishing net in hand. He gets to the ring apron and referee Darnell Cane is about to let him in, but fellow referees Smalltooth Jones and Popcorn Pollo stop him and tell him his fishing net can't be brought into the ring! The fisherman protests, but eventually hands it over to Jones and gets in the ring.
BASTIAN KRULL: D.C. Wiland, Stuntman Dan, Ursula Areano and "Captain" Gill Baits are our first four entrants. The first batch if you will. There are sixteen participants in total, so three more batches. A new batch enters every three minutes!
The bell sounds and "Captain" Gill Baits pretends to throw back a fishing line, then spins in a circle and casts it. His "line" lands in the direction of Ursula Areano! Stuntman Dan and D.C. Wiland exchange confused glances at each other and Dan seems to nod his head asking if Wiland wants to double team him, Wiland nods and the duo step towards Baits... but Wiland Pearl Harbors Dan! Areano rushes at Baits, interrupting his little show and backs him into the corner with kicks! Wiland clobbers Dan with forearms, getting him up against the ropes and immediately tries to lift his legs over the ropes but Dan fires back with some punches and sends Deezy back into the middle of the ring. Dan rushes Deezy, who responds in kind with a lung blower! Areano tries to line up a big shot on Baits, but he ducks it and sends her into the corner! He tries to run in with an attack, but Areano gets a foot up and kicks him in the face! He stumbles away, but Wiland rushes in with a superman punch and clobbers Areano! Wiland drops down and Areano stumbles out... Baits grabs her and hooks her for the Fisherman Suplex... but drops it into a sitout spinebuster instead!
MANDARIN: The Bass Smash!
Baits pushes her body away and eats a soccer kick from Stuntman Dan! Dan quickly yanks him to his feet and shoves him into the corner as D.C. Wiland sneakily dashes on top of Areano! Pollo being the closest official, jumps into the ring and counts!
1...
2...
NO!
Areano kicks out and Dan ceases trying to eliminate Baits to see what is going on behind him, giving Baits an opportunity to elbow him in the face! Dan staggers across the ring right into a D.C. Wiland superkick! Dan's head snaps back, nailing Baits! Baits goes down and Wiland superkicks the knee of Dan causing him to drop to all fours! Wiland hops over into La Magistral! The Danny Ocean Special!
1...
2...
3!
DR. SCREAM: STUNTMAN DAN HAS BEEN ELIMINATED!
After shaking out his cobwebs, Captain Baits comes rushing across the ring...
BASTIAN KRULL: RIGHT INTO THE STOMACH CLAW!
Baits has been caught and it doesn't look like he has any intentions of throwing him back as he clamps his free arm around his wrist to increase the pressure on Baits' stomach as he falls to the mat! Baits has no choice but to submit!
DR. SCREAM: CAPTAIN GILL BAITS HAS BEEN ELIMINATED!
MANDARIN: Oh my Darammu! D.C. Wiland has already made quite the impression by eliminating two of the competitors in the first batch within the first three minutes!
5...
4...
3...
2...
1...
The horn blares to signal the arrival of the next batch. "Takin' Care of Business" hits and True North Ant rushes down the ramp to join the fray. The music shuts off as Greg Ego - the "Guru of Professional Wrestling" walks out and points his walking stick with the crystal ball on the end towards the ring. He laughs as Moondog Buster runs out, then Thing One... and then Thing Two!
BASTIAN KRULL: That's a hell of a draw!
MANDARIN: Are you saying that the drawing of one, AIPollo is not on the up and up?
BASTIAN KRULL: Are you saying you don't find a stable drawing three consecutive numbers a little fishy?
MANDARIN: Astronomical odds indeed, Bastian Krull, but not entirely unlikely!
The trio slide into the ring and begin wrecking shop. True North Ant tries to attack, but gets punched by Buster! He falls down and Buster jumps on top, biting at his mask! Thing One and Two swarm Ursula Areano as D.C. Wiland decides now would be a good time to exit the ring. He slides out and Darnell Cane is assigned to him to keep count - he has 20 seconds to return to the ring or else he's counted out! Wiland retrieves a water bottle from behind the commentator's desk and takes a swig. He reaches in again and retrieves a second, handing it to Cane! Cane gladly accepts it, the two cheers and each take a swig and the fans begin booing because Cane has stopped the count in order to partake in a drink with the dastardly heel. Areano manages to get to a corner and kicks one Thing, but if it isn't one thing, it's another... as the other Thing clobbers her! The duo each grab a wrist and send her across the ring - she ducks the double clothesline attempt and hits the ropes! She decks Thing One with a flying forearm, then decks the other with a lil' Fist of Fury! Two stumbles up against the ropes and Areano dumps him over!
DR. SCREAM: THING TWO HAS BEEN ELIMINATED!
5...
4...
3...
2...
1...
Kelis' "Milkshake" hits and Areano's attention turns to Holly Guacamole running down the ramp. Guacamole stops just short of the ring and taunts her, as Thing One gets up and dumps Areano over the top rope! She lands on the apron and One tries to press his attack, but she clobbers him with a big right hand! He stumbles back and Guacamole jumps off the ramp, runs to where Areano is and tries to yank her down! Areano kicks her, then clobbers One again! Guacamole grabs her leg again, D.C. Wiland slides in and immediately superkicks Areano sending her down to the floor!
DR. SCREAM: URSULA AREANO HAS BEEN ELIMINATED!
Holly laughs in Areano's face, but gets upkicked for it! Guacamole falls back onto the floor as Smalltooth Jones and Darnell Cane get between the two women. Security comes out and escorts Areano to the back. During this commotion, Orville Newton has made his way down to the ring. "Cuka Rocka" by Chingon hits and the fans let out a considerable pop! Cucharacha comes rushing out, she tosses a couple frisbees into the crowd, then a toilet seat? before removing her t-shirt and tossing it into the crowd. A fan asks for her sports bra and she stops dead in her tracks and asks, "How much?". The fan zips through his wallet and offers up his library card, which is no dice for La Cucharacha! She continues running to the ring, hopping over the ropes and Thing One in the process. "Devil's Horn" by Casey Miller and the Barnyard Stompers hits and Duke Womack saunters out from the back, taking his time heading down to the ring.
BASTIAN KRULL: The third batch is in! We've got one more batch to go!
Womack beelines for Newton, who dodges him almost expertly. Wiland is back out on the floor checking over Holly between swigs of water. Cucharacha runs over and attempts to help True North Ant dump Moondog Buster over the top, but Thing One breaks that up! TNA goes after Thing leaving Cucharacha with Buster, who immediately tries to bite her! She yells not cool and thumbs him in the eyes! He staggers away from the ropes and she hops on his back applying a sleeper hold! He flails wildly, knocking a few competitors down in the process. Newton charges at Buster, but drops before he hits him - Womack lariats Buster by mistake and sends him tumbling over the ropes! Cucharacha dangles vicariously but manages to wrap her legs around the ropes and force Buster to the floor!
DR. SCREAM: MOONDOG BUSTER HAS BEEN ELIMINATED!
Newton gets up and dropkicks an unsuspecting Womack! Cucharacha grabs the top rope and pulls it down!
DR. SCREAM: DUKE WOMACK HAS BEEN ELIMINATED!
Womack hits the floor and gets right back up and into the ring, Newton gets grabbed and torn inside out by a 12 Guage Lariat! Womack stomps him for good measure before security rushes in and pulls him out of the ring forcefully. Guacamole gets into the ring finally and covers Newton!
1...
2...
3!
DR. SCREAM: ORVILLE NEWTON HAS BEEN ELIMINATED!
Newton is unceremoniously rolled out of the ring. This elimination leaves us with D.C. Wiland, True North Ant, Thing One, Holly Guacamole, and La Cucharacha, but the final four are about to come out...
5...
4...
3...
2...
1!
Phill Cheese Snake is #13! He runs down the ramp and hits the ring just as Daylight for Deadeyes' cover of "O'Canada" begins and Brutus Smith slowly walks out. So slow in fact that Owl Man's theme begins playing half way through his entrance, Smith turns as though he's going to clobber Owl Man for it but the fan favourite hops off the ramp and runs alongside to slap hands with the fans before sliding into the ring!
BASTIAN KRULL: No sixteen?
MANDARIN: Hmm, that is weird indeed!
BASTIAN KRULL: This thing happened recently on Estrel - who is counting the entrants!?
Brutus Smith climbs over the ropes and literally everyone attacks him, but he sends the group rolling backwards with one big shove. Thing One gets up and rushes him, only to be sent soaring over the top rope, hitting the ramp and bouncing to the floor. The crowd erupts in a holy shit chant as stage hands rush to his aid. Owl Man gets a boot, True North Ant eats an overhand chop, La Cucharacha gets goozled but Strange Brew attacks him before he can chokeslam the poor pest. He drops her, leaving her gasping for air as Guacamole and D.C. Wiland watch the carnage unfold. TNA and Snake are effectively attacking Brutus Smith, who's fallen against the ropes. D.C. Wiland tries to intervene, but Owl Man grabs his feet out from underneath him - causing him to land face first! Guacamole tries to kick Owl Man, but La Cucharacha bashes her with a forearm! Ant and Snake get one of Brute's legs up on the top rope, and Snake leaves his position, runs to the opposite ropes to pick up momentum and leaps up for a dropkick! Smith pushes Ant in the way! The dropkick connects with the back of Ant, sending him forcefully into Brute - sending him rolling to the floor.
DR. SCREAM: BRUTUS SMITH HAS BEEN ELIMINATED!
Ant nearly goes with him, but is hanging on by one hand on the middle rope. Snake doesn't get to see what transpired after his dropkick as Holly and Cucharacha roll over him. Ant gets back in and begins yelling at Philly Cheese Snake.
BASTIAN KRULL: True North Ant seems to think that Philly Cheese Snake was intending to eliminate him!
Snake explains himself as best he can while dodging bodies and fighting competitors, True North Ant puts his hands up and nods, and motions to Wiland. The duo turn their attention to him, Snake picks him up...
MANDARIN: WHAT ON DARAMMU'S SIXTH MOON?!
True North Ant blasts Philly Cheese Snake! Snake falls to the mat, but Ant quickly grabs him up and throws him over the top rope and to the floor.
DR. SCREAM: PHILLY CHEESE SNAKE HAS BEEN ELIMINATED!
True North Ant rolls underneath the bottom rope and yanks Snake to his feet by his mask, driving him straight into the ring post. Snake falls in a heap as Ant shoves Smalltooth Jones down and grabs a chair. He smashes it over the spine of Snake several times before Popcorn Pollo tries to grab it away, but Ant turns around and shoves him down! Snake looks to be unconscious, but this doesn't stop the attack. Ant pulls him up, setting him up for a powerbomb... lifts him into a crucifix position and nastily slams him down through the announce desk with a powerbomb! He clears the timekeeping table and looks poised to do it again when Marco Casas - the former El Proscrito - runs down the ramp, around ringside and blindsides True North Ant! He grabs the turncoat and throws him back into the ring! Dr. Scream and the stage crew attend to Snake before a stretcher and some medics come flying out from the back. Casas stands guard, as Ant gets up and begins talking smack to him from the ring... only for Owl Man to run up and eliminate him! Ant gets up, livid as hell and wants to smash anyone or anything but Casas chases him to the back! Dr. Scream returns to his table as medics cart Philly Cheese Snake away on a stretcher.
DR. SCREAM: TRUE NORTH ANT AND MARCO CASAS HAVE BEEN ELIMINATED!
BASTIAN KRULL: Look at this final four...
Each competitor takes a corner - Holly, Wiland, Owl Man and La Cucharacha - as they size one another up. Wiland and Holly nod as they rush at Owl Man and begin beating him down, La Cucharacha leans back on the ropes and watches, but begins feeling torn on what to do when the fans begin chanting "HELP HIM OUT! HELP HIM OUT!" and so she does! She grabs Holly Guacamole by the hair and sends her over the top rope! Guacamole hangs onto the top rope and skins the cat, grabbing Cucharacha in a headscissors! She tries to take Cucharacha over, but Cucharacha blocks it and punches Holly in the face! Holly drops to the apron and rolls back in under the bottom rope holding her face! Wiland meanwhile grabs Owl Man and tries for the Black Elegy lariat, but Owl ducks it and nails THE PECK! Wiland sells it like he's a fish out of water meets Ric Flair! Wiland stumbles back to his feet... and THE PECK AGAIN! He goes falling back into the ropes, Owl Man goes to follow up by Holly jumps on his back to save Wiland! Wiland applies the stomach claw on Owl Man, but it doesn't seem to have the results it did against Gill Baits! Owl Man chops his hand away and breaks free, Deezy looks shocked! A missile dropkick from out of nowhere courtesy of La Cucharacha takes Wiland out as bends over and slams Holly down to the mat! He bounces off the ropes... BIG SPLASH!
1...
...
2...
...
3!
DR. SCREAM: HOLLY GUACAMOLE HAS BEEN ELIMINATED!
Owl Man rolls her toward the stage hands and gets up. Cucharacha leaps up and tries to give him a lungblower, but he grabs onto her wrists and holds her in the air. She's trying to reason with him, apologizing, everything she can. Owl Man looks to be heading toward the ropes to dump her out when Wiland superkicks him! The momentum causes him to fall back and she completes the lungblower! Wiland piles Cucharacha on top of him and then puts a foot on her back and poses as the count is made!
1...
...
2...
...
3!
DR. SCREAM: OWL MAN HAS BEEN ELIMINATED!
Cucharacha gets yanked up by her hair screaming "Not cool, man!" to Wiland as he tries to throw her over the top rope - he does - but she lands on the apron and rakes his eyes! He stumbles back into the middle of the ring and she slingshots herself onto the top rope and springboards off... RACHA RANA! Well... almost. Wiland catches her and powerbombs her once. He then picks her up and makes his way over to the ropes... Cucharacha hurricanrans him out! Wiland hits the floor!
DR. SCREAM: D.C. WILAND HAS BEEN ELIMINATED! YOUR WINNER I--
Wiland slaps the microphone out of his hand and grabs the belt! Cucharacha chases after him as Wiland leaps the guardrail and exits through the crowd! Scream picks up his microphone.
DR. SCREAM: YOUR WINNER --
Vaughn Ronie Jr slaps the microphone out of his hand and follows both competitors into the crowd as Scream says "fuck it" and walks off.
MANDARIN: I know you humans have some silly rule about possession.
BASTIAN KRULL: This is professional wrestling, Mandarin. Those don't apply here! She won that title, D.C. Wiland is just being a sore loser!
MANDARIN: Whatever do you mean! He is an excitable competitor! Anywho, my name is Mandarin - the esteemed elitist alien!
BASTIAN KRULL: And I'm Bastian Krull. Be sure to tune into Pollo Estrel next Friday night to see some of the fallout from this Rumble and join us for our next Pollo Bucket special event! A special Thursday night show on May 5th to celebrate CINCO DE MAYO! See ya!
|
|