Post by Pollo Estrel! on Apr 1, 2016 17:12:56 GMT
We see the Pollomania logo with the title “Pollo Estrel” below it. “Click, Click, Boom” by Saliva plays as we see a series of clips from matches and segments from previous Pollomania events. We cut to two men standing in the ring, one wearing a black mask covered in red and yellow flames and the other wearing a fedora and trench coat.
Masked Man: This is no joke! Greetings from the seventh moon of Thunder and welcome to the debut episode of “Pollo Estrel”. I am El Hombre Loco Enmascarado, better known simply as That Masked Guy and this here is the Cher to my Son, Captain Fizz!
Capt. Fizz: Are you calling me your bitch?
That Masked Guy: Hey, whatever floats your boat.
Capt. Fizz looks like he’s going to say but simply shakes his head.
TMG: We have a great program for you tonight. We will finally see the match between the team of Moondog Buster and Goober the Gooker against Strange Brew, which was originally scheduled for “Great Canadian Freeze” in Toronto several weeks ago. From there, we go to our main event, a fifteen person battle royal to determine the first ever Estrel Medal winner, who will also be awarded five thousand dollars!
CF: Five thousand dollars! Where do I sign up.
TMG: Easy there amigo, I need you with me at the commentation station, to call the matches. Speaking of which, it’s time for our opening contest.
“Pop Goes the Weasel” begins playing as Capt. Fizz exits the ring.
TMG: The following contest is scheduled for one fall! Coming out first, at a combined weight of five hundred and five pounds, the team of Goober the Gooker and Moondog Buster!
The Giant Egg opens and the odd pair makes their way out and down to ringside. Moondog Buster brandishes his giant bone and attempts to hit That Masked Guy with it when he gets in the ring.
C F: He’s trying to bone him! (Laughs at his own joke)
“Takin’ Care of Business” begins playing, which distracts Buster from further attempting to attack TMG.
TMG: On their way to the ring, at a combined weight of four hundred and forty three pounds, True North Ant and Philly Cheese Snake, The Strange Brew! (He quickly exits the ring before)
The Giant Egg opens up as True North Ant comes out on the stage and starts clapping his hands, stomping along to the beat of his theme. He jogs down to the ring as the fans clap along... and stops at ringside, looking underneath the apron before Philly Cheese Snake comes slithering out. The pair goes around the ring, making sure to slap hands with all the fans before entering the ring. True North Ant shakes hands with both the ring announcer and the referee, while Philly Cheese Snake waves to the fans. True North Ant ascends the turnbuckle closest to the hard camera and flexing for the crowd.
Capt Fizz: What? The producer tells me I’m supposed to introduce something called “The Squawk Box”. What the f…
A box appears on the upper left corner of the screen with Strange Brew inside it.
True North Ant: Moondog and Gooker, you’re lucky that Brute interrupted our match in Toronto because we were going to kick your butts.
Philly Cheese Snake: Sssorry, boysss, you luck jussst ran out!
As the box disappears, Moondog and the Gooker attack Strange Brew and the referee calls for the bell to start the match. That Masked Guy quickly exits the ring and joins Capt Fizz at the desk.
TMG: And here we!
CF: Are you ok, Dude? (laughing)
TMG: (exasperated) There’s never an animal control officer when you need one! I was really concerned he was going to hump my leg.
Back in the ring the odd ball team of Moondog Buster and Goober the Gooker continue to beat down on their opponents. Moondog dumps Philly Cheese Snake out of the ring, he and his partner pick up True North Ant and Irish whip him into the ropes. They go for a double-team clothesline but TNA ducks underneath and bounces off the ropes behind them. The pair turns around just in time to eat a double lariat knocking them both to the ground.
Meanwhile Philly has slithered back into the ring. Moondog Buster gets to his feet just in time to nearly get cut in half with a spear and shoves him out under the ropes. True North Ant grabs the Gooker, hits a Backdrop Driver and signals to Phil that it’s time to finish it. He hoists the Gooker up into a crucifix position and team performs their finisher, The Red River Dip. Philly goes for the pin but TNA shakes his head and yells, “PHIL, FINISH HIM!” The snake man rolls Goober over and locks on the Cobra Clutch STF, while True North Ant makes sure that Moondog doesn’t interfere, and he taps out quickly.
TMG: Stick a fork in him, that turkey’s done!
CF: Mmm, turkey.
TMG: (standing up to make the announcement) Here are your winners, The Strange Brew!
True North Ant and Philly Cheese Snake hug quickly as we go to break.
Masked Man: This is no joke! Greetings from the seventh moon of Thunder and welcome to the debut episode of “Pollo Estrel”. I am El Hombre Loco Enmascarado, better known simply as That Masked Guy and this here is the Cher to my Son, Captain Fizz!
Capt. Fizz: Are you calling me your bitch?
That Masked Guy: Hey, whatever floats your boat.
Capt. Fizz looks like he’s going to say but simply shakes his head.
TMG: We have a great program for you tonight. We will finally see the match between the team of Moondog Buster and Goober the Gooker against Strange Brew, which was originally scheduled for “Great Canadian Freeze” in Toronto several weeks ago. From there, we go to our main event, a fifteen person battle royal to determine the first ever Estrel Medal winner, who will also be awarded five thousand dollars!
CF: Five thousand dollars! Where do I sign up.
TMG: Easy there amigo, I need you with me at the commentation station, to call the matches. Speaking of which, it’s time for our opening contest.
“Pop Goes the Weasel” begins playing as Capt. Fizz exits the ring.
TMG: The following contest is scheduled for one fall! Coming out first, at a combined weight of five hundred and five pounds, the team of Goober the Gooker and Moondog Buster!
The Giant Egg opens and the odd pair makes their way out and down to ringside. Moondog Buster brandishes his giant bone and attempts to hit That Masked Guy with it when he gets in the ring.
C F: He’s trying to bone him! (Laughs at his own joke)
“Takin’ Care of Business” begins playing, which distracts Buster from further attempting to attack TMG.
TMG: On their way to the ring, at a combined weight of four hundred and forty three pounds, True North Ant and Philly Cheese Snake, The Strange Brew! (He quickly exits the ring before)
The Giant Egg opens up as True North Ant comes out on the stage and starts clapping his hands, stomping along to the beat of his theme. He jogs down to the ring as the fans clap along... and stops at ringside, looking underneath the apron before Philly Cheese Snake comes slithering out. The pair goes around the ring, making sure to slap hands with all the fans before entering the ring. True North Ant shakes hands with both the ring announcer and the referee, while Philly Cheese Snake waves to the fans. True North Ant ascends the turnbuckle closest to the hard camera and flexing for the crowd.
Capt Fizz: What? The producer tells me I’m supposed to introduce something called “The Squawk Box”. What the f…
A box appears on the upper left corner of the screen with Strange Brew inside it.
True North Ant: Moondog and Gooker, you’re lucky that Brute interrupted our match in Toronto because we were going to kick your butts.
Philly Cheese Snake: Sssorry, boysss, you luck jussst ran out!
As the box disappears, Moondog and the Gooker attack Strange Brew and the referee calls for the bell to start the match. That Masked Guy quickly exits the ring and joins Capt Fizz at the desk.
TMG: And here we!
CF: Are you ok, Dude? (laughing)
TMG: (exasperated) There’s never an animal control officer when you need one! I was really concerned he was going to hump my leg.
Back in the ring the odd ball team of Moondog Buster and Goober the Gooker continue to beat down on their opponents. Moondog dumps Philly Cheese Snake out of the ring, he and his partner pick up True North Ant and Irish whip him into the ropes. They go for a double-team clothesline but TNA ducks underneath and bounces off the ropes behind them. The pair turns around just in time to eat a double lariat knocking them both to the ground.
Meanwhile Philly has slithered back into the ring. Moondog Buster gets to his feet just in time to nearly get cut in half with a spear and shoves him out under the ropes. True North Ant grabs the Gooker, hits a Backdrop Driver and signals to Phil that it’s time to finish it. He hoists the Gooker up into a crucifix position and team performs their finisher, The Red River Dip. Philly goes for the pin but TNA shakes his head and yells, “PHIL, FINISH HIM!” The snake man rolls Goober over and locks on the Cobra Clutch STF, while True North Ant makes sure that Moondog doesn’t interfere, and he taps out quickly.
TMG: Stick a fork in him, that turkey’s done!
CF: Mmm, turkey.
TMG: (standing up to make the announcement) Here are your winners, The Strange Brew!
True North Ant and Philly Cheese Snake hug quickly as we go to break.